Dad’s House

Ten Great Reasons to Date a Single Dad

Dad and son Single dads are a different breed than single men, in a good way. A lot of great qualities come from single parenting, like being mature, responsible, caring, understanding, patient, kind. A single guy might turn out to possess these same traits. But then again, he might not. Wouldn’t you rather see those qualities in action right now? Take my advice - watch a single dad interact with his kids, and you’ll know what he’s like as a person.

For the lucky women who are considering dating a single father and may need a nudge, here’s a list of reasons why it’s a great idea. Know that you’re not alone – I’ve met (and dated) some fabulous women who love being with a single dad. And while I’m sure the following list of reasons could apply to dating a single mom, I’ll focus on the dads simply because I’m one of them. As a divorced man who has been raising my kids half-time for eight years running, I’ve become a single parenting expert.

Not all single dads have all these qualities, but most come out when you’re parenting kids. Watching a single dad in action will show you first-hand where he’s lacking and where he shines.

Ten Great Reasons to Date a Single Dad:

1 He’s mature – when you’re on your own taking care of kids, even half-time, you grow up quickly. A single dad who thinks through consequences and does what’s best for his family is a man you can depend on.

2 He’s silly – when you spend that much time parenting solo, you can’t help but play along with the kids. A single dad who acts silly around his children is showing you that he’s comfortable with his parenting role and enjoys staying connected to their lives.

3 He’s responsible – when you choose to stick around and take care of your kids, you’re putting the needs of others before your own. Even the toughest single dad won’t run and hide when the going gets tough; if he’s involved in raising his kids, he wants to be held accountable. Single dads are good providers. Some, even, are single dads who houseclean.

4 He’s humble – a lot of men are so ego-driven, they’ll never admit to making a mistake. When you’re a single dad, you make plenty, and you have to own up – because if you don’t, your kids will hold you to it, for sure! Single dads are fallible, and that makes them humble, and human.

5 He’s nurturing – okay, so maybe men give tough love more often than empathy, but we still want our kids to develop and grow. A devoted single dad with the courage to nurture alone is sticking his neck out, working in unfamiliar territory. If he shows you that, you know he wants what’s best for his kids and family. Oh, and some single dads are pretty good cooks. What’s not to like about that?

6 He’s not so nurturing – some single dads need help nurturing their kids, and a woman in their lives can help fill that role. If you’re up for the challenge of helping raise someone else’s kids, the feelings you’ll get in reward are amazing. (Someone once told me, You don’t know what love is until you have children. They were right!)

7 He’s patient – when you’re the only adult around kids, you have to have patience. While children are equal to adults as Beings, as Humans they usually lack the skills and knowledge to do things as quickly. Any parent (single or married, mom or dad) who helps their kid with homework, teaches them to tie their shoes, waits for a teen to get out of the shower (and brush her hair!), can’t help but cultivate patience. Either that, or the parent yells a lot. As you a watch a single dad interact with his kids, you’ll know just how much patience he has.

8 He’s accepting – life doesn’t always go as planned. With kids in the picture, there are more lives, hopes, dreams, dramas, and just plain stuff that can go wrong. A single dad who keeps his cool and his sanity has learned to accept the pitfalls and challenges and disappointments that can’t be controlled.

9 He’s understanding – when you’re the lone adult listening-ear for your kids, with no spouse to help play Mutt and Jeff roles, you soon find it’s healthier to put yourself in your kids’ shoes, rather than being their opponent. You may not always agree, but you’re more prone to try to understand where they’re coming from. A single dad can make for a really great listener.

10 He’s kind – kids bring out the kindness in any creature. I know, I know, sexy women always go for the bad boys. Well, if you want to forever be treated like his beeyatch, go for the thug. But if you want a man to treat you with respect, a single dad might be the ticket. And just because he’s Mr. Kind doesn’t mean he can’t be nasty in bed. (That’s where it counts, right?)

One more thing – if a dad only has his kids part-time (like I do), he’ll still have these same great parenting qualities. But he’ll also have more alone time to share with you!

As someone experienced enough with online dating to be considered an internet dating expert, I know there are single women who want to start their own family from scratch and won’t give single dads a chance.

But for the rest of you amazing and open-minded women, here’s my advice – get out there and date a single dad. He’ll love it. And I think you will too.

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March 11th, 2008 Posted in dating, family, internet dating | one comment

Pasta With Peas Recipe - Healthy Meal Plan

peas No food in the fridge tonight? No problem! Here’s a quick and easy recipe that you can make from basic ingredients you already have on hand. (And if you don’t have them on hand, start stockpiling them for future empty fridge nights.)

First things first – go easy on yourself about the empty fridge. Pour a glass of wine, crack open a Guinness, or fix yourself a perfect gin martini.

Refreshed and ready? Let’s begin…

Pasta with peas is a rustic Italian dish that you can make in half an hour. I learned how to cook Italian food from my ex-wife’s Italian mother. It’s funny – she said this simple dish and a lot of ethnic cuisine in magazines like Bon Appetit is considered peasant food in Italy.

Single parent tip: cook more than you need and save the leftovers for your own lunch the next day, or for dinner on a night when the kids aren’t with you.

Recipe:

Start boiling water for pasta. Take 1/2 pound frozen peas and put them in a pasta strainer. Run water over the peas and break them up with your hands, removing all the ice. In a large frying pan, sauté 2-3 cloves chopped garlic in 4 tablespoons olive oil. If you’re a peas and onions fan, you can sauté half a white onion instead of garlic.

When the garlic is a nice golden color (don’t let it overcook and turn brown!), dump the peas into the frying pan. Stir to coat the peas. Add a generous amount of black pepper. Stir occasionally while the peas sauté.

Cooking tip: it tastes better when the peas are overcooked and a little black than undercooked.

When the water is boiling, dump in 8-10 oz. of pasta and some salt. Any small pasta will do: elbow macaroni, salad macaroni, bowties, or mezze penne are all good choices. How much pasta to cook depends on how many people are eating, and how hungry they are. I made this dish tonight and ate about 6 oz of pasta by myself. I usually cook 10-12 oz. when my two kids are here, and I usually have a bit leftover.

Cooking tip: an equal amount of peas and pasta is usually pretty good, i.e. 8 oz. of each. But it’s better to error on having too many peas. There’s nothing worse than a plateful of bland, sauceless pasta. If you need more pasta, cook more peas!

I always cook pasta al dente, no matter the dish. This means when you bite into it, it’s a little hard on the inside. I never time it, I simply bite into it, but go ahead and time yours the first few tries. With practice, your body’s cooking clock will tick on its own, and you’ll get a feel for when things should be done without the need for a timepiece. It’s all about being in the moment when you cook.

When the pasta is done, strain it to remove the water, then dump it into the frying pan with the peas. Stir it all together, and you’re done. Top with grated parmesan cheese.

I like to eat pasta and peas with some Pugliese or sourdough bread and my favorite cheese (which varies, depending on mood: Dubliner, Brie, or any soft cheese with herbs that my local cheese market swears is fantastic.)

One final parenting tip: let your kids voice their opinion about your cooking. Does the dish need more pepper? Should the pasta be less cooked? Are there enough peas? Do this over time to help them develop a sophisticated palette, and you’ll learn to be a better cook.

If you have a young son, by all means encourage him to eat “every pasta and pea on his plate.” See if he doesn’t crack up.

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March 11th, 2008 Posted in food recipes | 2 comments

About Dad's House

David Mott is a writer, blogger, and divorced single father offering stories, tips, and expert advice on single parenting, two-home families, and relationships formed in an age of online dating, text messaging, friends with benefits, hookups, and booty calls. Voyeurs welcome.
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