Comments on: Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 1 (Craigslist coffee date gone bad)

By: CityGirl

CityGirl — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:24:13 +0000

Call me! I’m famished!
Smooooooooooooooochies!

By: Melodie

Melodie — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:47:47 +0000

I’m always very considerate when it comes to first dates; if I suggest doing anything, I intend to pay for myself and whatever the guy had to pay for himself wouldn’t be more than $15 plus he’d know about it going into it. Something simple and free like a walk in the park would be fine with me, too. But if the guy is the one who suggests going to a nice restaurant and then takes me there, then I let him pay because it was his idea and he knew what the prices were going to be. Even so, I still try to be considerate, asking what he’s ordering first and then getting something at about the same price, and only ordering water with no appetizer (unless he seriously offers) and no dessert. I don’t think I’m taking advantage of anyone. I never ever suggest going to a restaurant.

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Fri, 30 May 2008 22:56:07 +0000

When I was online dating, I went out on a handful of dates and not once did the date pay for my meal or admission to anything. Sure, they offered, and while tempting (due to my budget), I’ve never taken anyone up on it. I feel guilty about it and like to spend my own money on myself and not feel like I “owe them” something. I’ll order whatever I want…and I’ll pay for it myself. Some guys have actually been really turned off by me wanting to pay my own way, but if they can’t handle it, they just might not be worth the trouble.

By: Romulus Burnett

Romulus Burnett — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:05:33 +0000

Being the professional dater that I am, I knew exactly where this was going when she asked “Are you hungry?” Yeah. Right. That’s code for: “I’m hungry. Do you have any money?”

I figured that trick out years ago. Way back then I would have put up with it but now I’m less inclined to do so. I engage in deep conversation with potential dates long before we even plan on going anywhere.

When that start talking that “I know where the best restaurants are” garbage I intervine and plan the entire night around a budget, which means we’re dinning on MY side of town where I’m more familiar with the prices, which works 95% of the time. However, if she insists on being greedy I’ll go along but already have a “plan B” in place. “Plan B” consists of detouring somewhere romantic and secluded after dropping between 85 to 150 bucks. I’m sure you can figure the rest out. Mind you, I’m testing the chemistry factor all along while at the restaurant.

By: Lance

Lance — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:55:49 +0000

That’s amazing. I had heard of women doing this, but never had a personal encounter. I would have stated from the outset, “Sister, I don’t pay for dinners on a first date. We’re going to get two drinks each and you’re going to impress me with your rapier wit and sex appeal, or I’m outta here.” Try that frame. Keep the upper hand.

See, I think this is part of the problem with the traditional dating model. Guy asks girl out. Guy pays. Guy expects kissing or sex. Guy isn’t sure if girl wants to do it. Screw that. Find out if the sexual connection is there first, and then talk about dinner later. No one gets a free meal.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:57:48 +0000

Thanks for all the great comments. More to come in my “Confessions” series. Sadly, I have lots more online dating stories to tell.

By: Brianne Pitt

Brianne Pitt — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:16:35 +0000

Goodness. Some people! I hope you have better luck in the future!