Pass the Kleenex, I’m Tearing Up
I have a good life. I’m a single dad with happy and healthy kids; we live in a nice home in a beautiful area; I’ve enjoyed success and am pursuing my passions; I strive to be self-aware. It wasn’t easy getting here, but I did. And believe me, I’m grateful. So I’m always caught off guard when something strikes a melancholy chord inside me and my eyes get misty.
It happened April 1st when I read Single Mom Seeking’s celebratory news that she was getting married. I didn’t realize as I read the post that it was an April Fool’s joke. Instead, I marveled at the simplicity of Rachel meeting the man of her dreams while standing in line to sign her daughter up for soccer. I teared up.
Was I sad at not having a woman in my life right now? Sure. Despite the joy I get from loving my kids, having a romantic partner is an important part of adult life. My kids are only with me half time, and eventually they’ll grow up and move out. The stability of having a full-time partner to love is something I lack. When I read the post, a part of me longed for a woman to make that deep connection with me.
Was it because Rachel met someone in real life, rather than online? Sure. Internet dating is a convenient way to meet strangers for coffee, dinner, and sex, but for long-term love it has proved frustrating to me and countless millions. To hear that Rachel met someone the old-fashioned way – offline – tugged at just the right heartstrings.
I don’t cry often, but when I do, it goes to the core. Like anyone else I react to big things – death of a loved, tragedy in the news. It’s the little things that sneak up on me.
Hearing a song like the Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979 
, an ode to suburban kids who’ve lost all hope of doing anything with their lives, like some high school friends of mine who bought bitchin’ Camaro’s and became managers at McDonald’s rather than attending college. (And here I attended an ivy. Go figure. How did I escape, but not them?)
Watching movies. Pretty much any good romantic comedy or drama will get me going. Kramer vs. Kramer would make anyone cry, but imagine what it’s like for a divorced parent who isn’t allowed to see their children full time. (The worst is watching a kid-flick and wiping away tears while my kids grin ear-to-ear at the happy ending.)
Finishing a marathon. I’ve run seven, and they require a Herculean training effort. When the 26.2 miles are behind me and my mind and body can finally relax, the floodgates burst. Tears of accomplishment, tears of relief, tears of joy.
Having a girlfriend do an unexpected and caring thing for me. I enter relationships with a mindset like Freddie Mercury from Queen in that I know it’s all about giving love, not getting it. He didn’t sing, Can anybody find me somebody to love me? He sang, somebody to love. (And with David Bowie in Under Pressure , Freddie repeatedly exhorts us to Give love, Give love, Give love, Give love… definitely making the point.) But who doesn’t like getting a good hug? Having an adult unexpectedly care for me is sublime. And yes, my eyes get misty.
So, Single Mom Seeking with your marriage proposal April Foolery, and all you other bloggers out there – know that innocuous things can have unexpected effects on your readership. Good news can make grown men cry.
Pass the Kleenex.
- Feminine Energy is a Very Good Thing
- Single Parents are Missing Out on Intimacy
- Wanna Wrestle? (This is Not a Dirty Text!)
- Single Parent, Empty House, Full Life
- Kid-Friendly Companionship With Benefits
- Physical Intimacy
| 
Subscribe | © 2008-09 David Mott, DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.
Comment by amy
| April 2nd, 2008
The romance of it got me all misty, too…
Comment by Sara
| April 2nd, 2008
Sniffle, sniffle. There should be more than can tear up like you do! It’s just undeniably sexy to see a man misty-eyed with happiness
Comment by liz
| April 2nd, 2008
Single Mom Seeking had me going, too…until she said the new beau french braided his son’s long hair. Then I caught on.
Although I’ve long been a fan of single mom blogs (being one myself), I’ve only just recently begun to explore the world of single dad blogs. Am very excited to have found you! (through Ms. Single Mama and Single Mom Seeking…)
Comment by dadshouse
| April 2nd, 2008
Thanks for the note, and welcome to my house! I love reading the blogs of MSM and SMS. Look forward to checking out yours.
Comment by Daddy Forever
| April 2nd, 2008
So true. It’s great to have a love one in your life. However, our kids take up all of our engery and time. We’re more parents than soul mates. Hopefully, we’ll be soulmates again in the future.
Comment by Lance
| April 3rd, 2008
Bro. I urge you to make the time to get out and approach 1000 women. Spend a few months doing it. All of this will become trivial. You’ll get so many phone numbers and so many date options that you’ll be complaining about running out of time for dates. Seriously. And that Pumpkins song is one of my all time favorites. Love it.
Comment by dadshouse
| April 4th, 2008
Lance – you’re awesome! If there were 1000 attractive, single, 30-something women walking the streets of Silicon Valley, I’d do just that.
But, this ain’t Miami… not saying there aren’t attractive women here, it’s just that a lot of them hide out in tech companies like Google, where they get free gourmet lunch, beach volleyball (the billionaire founders sometimes play), two never-ending lap pools with a lifeguard (I kid you not!), and a ton more reasons never to leave…