Comments on: Texting for Chemistry – Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 2

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 07:30:37 +0000

I have never done online dating. You being an expert and all I was wondering if you had any advise for a shy, single mom, engineer starting a new chapter in her life.

By: The Exception

The Exception — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:57:54 +0000

I don’t know how I missed this post, but am glad your recently commented section brought it to my attention!

Texting is a crutch – give me a phone call anytime! It is the next best thing to in person, is more direct, and I happen to be a big fan of voices which can provide depth etc. Okay, I enjoy talking to men in general – and they have had no complaints about talking to me (my voice is apparently sexy, who knew?) ;)

By: David

David — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:25:27 +0000

Dear David:
First of all, you’ve got a great name — David — it means “beloved” in Hebrew — and you definitely deserve someone that will truly love you. I definitely feel for you and can understand your hurt, confusion, and bewilderment. I have been there myself with a single mom who I’ve known for over 10 years that I initially met at church. She would withdraw at times, say she’s been “busy” and then want to reconnect. I’ve been really hurt twice by her, and this is a person who I thought was a friend. Same MO — she didn’t have the wherewithall to talk directly to me, but e-mailed instead. It seems that some single moms are quite simply emotionally unavailable to be dating and will try to date (online or otherwise) simply to appease their own ego and hurt, and do not show others the simple respect. And while it still hurts, you will be better off in the long run without her and her games. The games are not malicious, but simply the product of a defense mechanism of a hurt person who doesn’t really love herself and can’t really love anyone else. It is very sad and it really hurts, but some good single mom friends of mine gave me some great advice and told me not to put up with the excuses — if a woman is really into you — it will show and ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. If the single mom doesn’t make a good effort from the beginning to keep in good contact and simply show respect, move on to someone else who has integrity. I wish you all the best David.

Best regards,

David

By: Ida

Ida — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:51:27 +0000

that was a pretty messed up thing she did to you and perhaps hunderds of other men. this is why online dating is not for me ever. just dont have the time to waste with it. good luck. write more about it. pretty interesting.

By: Susan

Susan — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:12:15 +0000

Ouch. I guess texting at least cuts to the chase, doesn’t it!

I feel like a veteran of online dating, too, although I didn’t try Yahoo or Salon. Hated e-Harmony, thought Chemistry was just as much bull-hooey, SingleParentsmeet (I think that’s the name) was ok, and Match…well, I had the best results there. Sort of.

Fortunately I’m not a veteran of text-dating. A few months ago one guy refused to call me; he only seemed to want to text. One day he sent me a text with “hey,” nothing more, and I decided I had had enough!

PS. I laughed at your spam comment. I even dedicated an entire blog category to it. Sad, sad state of my life…

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:20:07 +0000

My red cap photo has been retired (well, pushed into my about The Author page where it’s displayed in its contextual entirety). I got so much abuse from all the women in my life, including my daughter, that they hated that red hat pic. And here I kind of liked it! I’m working on better home page graphics…

By: singlemomseeking

singlemomseeking — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:17:11 +0000

It hurt me to read this.

Yes, karma will come back to her, no doubt — as you said.

Hey, what happened to the photo with the red cap?