Dad's House

Single Dad Seeking Single Mom Seeking Lunch

Two months ago when I started my blog, I googled to see which single parent blogs were hottest. SingleMomSeeking consistently ranked at the top of search results. Her credentials were impressive – a published book, magazine articles, TV show appearances. Rachel Sarah was the blogging single mom I was seeking.

I put up some initial posts on Dad’s House, commented on her blog, and immediately contacted her saying I’d love to meet and chat. We were both in the Bay Area, after all. Both writers, bloggers, single parents. I figured it was a no-brainer.

As synchronicity would have it, Rachel happened to post something about online dating on the same day I made my first online dating post, the one where I sadly admit to being an internet dating expert. (In eight years of divorce, I bought into the marketing bull and online dating became a crack addiction.) She loved my post, and added me to her blog roll.

Great, how about lunch? Let’s chat about blogging, writing, being a single parent.

With all her accomplishments and connections, Rachel is a busy woman. When she’s not posting on her own blog, she can be found writing articles for Parent Center, Huffington Post, Family Circle, J, WashingtonPost.com; commenting on other blogs; speaking at the Commonwealth Club. Plus, she had just blogged about contracting poison oak, which likely slowed her social calendar. Suffice it to say, lunch never occurred.

Call me Silicon Valley old school, but if you want something to happen, you keep trying until you make it happen. If nothing else, as a novelist seeking publication, I like to connect with published authors, so I definitely wanted to meet her. (And why would she want to meet me? Ah, there lies the rub.) I worked hard on my blog, commented on hers and others, and made my way onto Alltop – a collection of “All Top stories, All the time.” (SingleMomSeeking is there, too, on the mom’s side.) I admitted to getting misty eyed over one of her posts.

I’m not sure what was her tipping point, but on April 1st Rachel sent me an email that I chose to believe was not an April Fool: let’s do lunch.

Finally! We set a date to meet in Berkeley for Thai food. By this point, I was reading her book, Single Mom Seeking. If you haven’t picked it up, you should. I instantly connected with its stories of blind dates turned into booty calls, with your children’s needs tugging ever-presently on every decision you make, every romantic partner you meet. Single parent relationships are complicated.

I was suddenly struck with the thought – will lunch turn into booty?

I started to stress about my appearance – should I get a haircut? I’d look cleaner cut, but she seemed to like sideburns and longer hair. Should I wear jeans or slacks? It’s Berkeley, so jeans. But it’s business, so slacks. But what if there’s booty? Slacks make me look too uptight (IMHO). But jeans are casual and might undersell my sincerity about being a published novelist. What should I do? (And what about her biologist boyfriend, or my texting ex-girlfriend? What about DNA?)

I skipped the haircut and opted for black jeans (without a condom in the pocket). A mix of flirtatious charm and business casual before serious pleasure.

The day went great. Rachel and I shared cappuccinos at an espresso place before lunch. She looked cute and sexy in blue jeans, brown boots, and a colorful top. (As a man, I’m simply unable to provide more details than that. Suffice to say she was quite attractive.) She was extremely nice, warm, compassionate, smart, savvy, wise. My hour parking meter was nowhere near enough – we chatted for 2 ½ hours.

Throughout our time together, it struck me how very real Rachel is. I imagine you’d react that way for any blogger you met in person. But I’ve met published authors before, and they usually kept up their airs. Rachel didn’t – she let her hair down, shared her vulnerabilities.

For me, the best part was talking about things we would never put in our blogs. Personal details of family and exes and people we’ve dated, things which have no business on public display. (We discussed these things obliquely and out of context, so there were no confidences broken.) Confidantes in life’s craziness, brothers in arms.

This single dad sought out one particular Single Mom Seeking for lunch, and ended up finding more than a blogging Bay Area writer and single parent. I found a new friend.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Facebook Single Parents Connection Group
• Craigslist coffee date gone bad – Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 1
• Single Parents
• Birthday Parties After Divorce
  
• Can Dating Single Parents Be Vulnerable?

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April 14th, 2008 Posted in single parents | Tags: blogging single dad, blogging single mom, Rachel Sarah, single dad, single dad blogger, single dad seeking, single mom, single mom blogger, single mom seeking, single parent, single parent blogs kick butt, single parents rock | 8 comments