Dad’s House

Wanna wrestle?

And so began a flirty, dirty text message sent to a female friend of mine by a man she knew and had once dated. Only problem, they’d broken up 5 months before. Not only had she moved on from that relationship, she barely remembered his name. Sending a text message can be a great way to flirt when you’re dating. But this one made her wonder, is text messaging any way to ask someone out?

I met a woman online this week (my first mistake, since I already knew online dating doesn’t work; but in a small dating pool it’s easy to fall back on old habits). She was a single mom with great online pics – super cute smile, rockin’ fit body, dare I say a hottie. (I need more than just looks from a romantic partner, but there’s a reason why men stare - we’re visual creatures who can’t help but notice physical beauty.)

I wanted to call Hottie Mom and talk on the phone, but she texted me saying she was at work and exchanging text messages would be more discreet. Fine. We texted all day, swapping info, getting to know each other, ramping up the heat as we went.

Do u get time 4 sexy fun dates? I texted. She had nearly full-time custody of her 10 year old.

Depends how interesting I find the date lol, she texted back.

Interesting is my specialty, I wrote.

Hmm we’ll c how interesting u r, she wrote.

Are you kidding me? With that body of hers, I’d be more interesting than a Miley Cyrus sexy photo debate (and hotter than a Miley Cyrus Playboy centerfold). I’d run more game than pick-up artist Lance could shake a stick at. There was no way I’d let myself fail.

With that smile of yours I’ll be extra motivated, I texted.

We picked a time and texted about where to meet.

Can u cum here? she wrote as way of asking if I’d be willing to drive the forty-five minutes to her town. How I could refuse a dirty innuendo like that? I’ll cum wherever you want.

We finally chatted on the phone to iron out plans, and that’s when things went downhill fast.

• I didn’t feel any conversational chemistry – you can tell a lot about a person by talking to them. What they say, how they say it, passion, pauses, word choice. Hottie Mom and I just didn’t click.
• She’s a fitness trainer – hence the hottie body. I’m a runner and cyclist and love a woman in shape. But I’m also very well educated. While I’ve dated women who didn’t have college degrees, and I’m not an intellectual elitist, I do need a girlfriend who gets my dry wit. Hottie Mom didn’t. I sense we’d bore the crap out of each other.
• She wanted to meet at Chevy’s – isn’t that where families take their kids to watch the tortilla machine, enjoy the whacky balloon-animal guy, eat watered down Mexican food and down Pontiac Margaritas (i.e. decidedly un-Cadillac)? Since when do adults meet there for drinks and romantic flirtation? At this stage of my life I feel an upscale restaurant bar is the best place for singles to meet.
• She starts work at 5 am, leaving her 10-year-old alone – I was a bit of an after-school latch-key kid growing up, so I know it sucks when a child is forced to fend for themselves. Imagine that child waking up in an empty apartment, fixing herself breakfast and getting to school. It breaks my heart. Granted, maybe economics forced Hottie Mom into this situation, but that just means there’s a huge economic disparity between us.

Still, the date is set. My gut tells me to cancel. It would be simple enough to send a text message that says I have to bail. But my it’s spring! male-in-heat raging hormones tell me to focus on the date as a chance to hook up as lovers. After all, she did say she wanted me to cum there. But I need more than cheap sex these days; I’m looking for kid-friendly companionship with benefits.

Most would agree that texting is a bad way to meet someone, and a desperate way to reconnect. After all, did my friend’s 5-months ago date want to talk to her? No. He was shamelessly, facelessly trying to score some booty.

Old habits die hard. I already know you can’t text for chemistry – it has to be felt. But when a flirty dirty text message arrives on your cell phone, it’s hard not to give in to temptation.

If she texts me: Wanna wrestle?
I might answer: When can u cum?

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Putting the EX in SEX
• Texting for Chemistry - Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 2
• How to Pick-Up a Woman in Front of Your Son
• Flirty Text Messages on Craigslist
  

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