Sexy Flirty Dirty Text Messages
Wanna wrestle?
And so began some flirty, dirty text messages sent to a sexy female friend of mine by a man she knew and had once dated. Only problem, they’d broken up 5 months before. Not only had she moved on from that relationship, she barely remembered his name. Sending a dirty text message can be a great way to flirt when you’re dating. But this one made her wonder, is text messaging any way to ask someone out?
I met a woman online this week (my first mistake, since I already knew online dating doesn’t work; but in a small dating pool it’s easy to fall back on old habits). She was a single mom with great online pics – super cute smile, rockin’ fit body, dare I say a hottie. (I need more than just looks from a romantic partner, but there’s a reason why men stare at sexy women – we’re visual creatures who can’t help but notice physical beauty.)
I wanted to call Hottie Mom and talk on the phone, but she texted me saying she was at work and exchanging text messages would be more discreet. Fine. We texted all day, swapping info, getting to know each other, ramping up the flirty heat toward dirty text messages as we went.
Do u get time 4 sexy fun dates? I texted. She had nearly full-time custody of her 10 year old.
Depends how interesting I find the date lol, she texted back.
Interesting is my specialty, I wrote.
Hmm we’ll c how interesting u r, she wrote.
Are you kidding me? With that sexy body of hers, I’d be more interesting than a Miley Cyrus sexy photo debate. I’d run more game than pick-up artist Lance could shake a stick at. There was no way I’d let myself fail.
With that smile of yours I’ll be extra motivated, I texted.
We picked a time and began texting about where to meet.
Can u cum here? she wrote as way of asking if I’d be willing to drive the forty-five minutes to her town. How I could refuse a sexy texting innuendo like that? I’ll cum wherever you want.
Dirty text messages are risky when you haven’t met yet. We exchanged some more flirty sexy text, then chatted on the phone to iron out plans. That’s when things went downhill fast.
• I didn’t feel any conversational chemistry – you can tell a lot about a person by talking to them. What they say, how they say it, passion, pauses, word choice, how flirty they are. Forget dirty text messages. When we spoke, Hottie Mom and I just didn’t click.
• She’s a fitness trainer – hence the hottie body. I’m a runner and cyclist and love a woman in shape. But I’m also very well educated. While I’ve dated women who didn’t have college degrees, and I’m not an intellectual elitist, I do need a girlfriend who gets my dry wit. Hottie Mom didn’t. I sense we’d bore the crap out of each other. Dirty texting only takes you so far.
• She wanted to meet at Chevy’s – isn’t that where families take their kids to watch the tortilla machine, enjoy the whacky balloon-animal guy, eat watered down Mexican food and down Pontiac Margaritas (i.e. decidedly un-Cadillac)? Since when do adults meet there for drinks and romantic flirtation? At this stage of my life I feel an upscale restaurant bar is the best place for singles to meet.
• She starts work at 5 am, leaving her 10-year-old alone – I was a bit of an after-school latch-key kid growing up, so I know it sucks when a child is forced to fend for themselves. Imagine that child waking up in an empty apartment, fixing herself breakfast and getting to school. It breaks my heart. Granted, maybe economics forced Hottie Mom into this situation, but that just means there’s a huge economic disparity between us.
Still, the date is set. My gut tells me to cancel. It would be simple enough to send a not-so dirty text message that says I have to bail. But my it’s spring! male-in-heat raging hormones tell me to focus on the date as a chance to hook up as lovers. After all, she did say she wanted me to cum there. But I need more than cheap sex these days; I’m looking for kid-friendly companionship with benefits.
Most would agree that texting is a bad way to meet someone, and a desperate way to reconnect. After all, did my friend’s 5-months ago date want to talk to her? No. He was shamelessly, facelessly trying to score some booty. Dirty text messages were inappropriate there.
Old habits die hard. I already know you can’t text for chemistry – it has to be felt. But when flirty dirty text messages arrive on your cell phone, it’s hard not to give in to temptation.
If she texts me: Wanna wrestle?
I might answer: When can u cum?
Here are more sexy and funny dating stories from Dad’s House.
- Putting the EX in SEX
- When Dirty Text Messages Turn Clean
- Flirty Text Messages on Craigslist
- How to Pick-Up a Woman in Front of Your Son
- Dirty Text Message Jokes
- Sexy Text Messages That Can’t Be Ignored
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Comment by singlemomseeking
| May 10th, 2008
Oh, no, you didn’t!!
I always admire your honesty. Over here, it’s female in-heat raging hormones… and the Biologist is talking about moving to Silicon Valley. Oh my.
Comment by mssinglemama
| May 11th, 2008
So did you go out on the date??? What happened? I wouldn’t have even bothered after finding out all of those nuggets. We call those very red flags.
I know dirty texting is common practice for some – but I HATE it – obviously.
Thanks for your perspective!
Comment by dadshouse
| May 11th, 2008
We didn’t go on the date. She texted me in the afternoon with this (I’m not kidding):
have 2 cxl. mouth swollen& in terrible pain from root canal
Say what! While it’s possible her dental excuse is real, I’m guessing she didn’t think we’d hit it off. Either way, I won’t follow up for another date.
And here I was set to blog all about it…
Comment by Lance
| May 11th, 2008
DM, here’s my perspective. Your hottie mom just wanted to get laid, which was why there little pretense. Without knowing the tone of the phone convo, I’d guess she sensed you were looking for different things and that’s why she flaked. I make this mistake all the time, BTW.
Here’s what I know. Sometimes women just wanna get screwed. I’d imagine busy single moms are like this sometimes. It took me a long time to grapple with that, but women are THE SAME as men when it comes to sex. Sometimes you want to date, sometimes you want a gf, and sometimes you just want unattached sex. If you’re a guy and you find a women in this position, you have to have exactly the right attitude to get sex with a woman who just wants to have sex, meaning she can’t sense you’ll try to be her boyfriend. Take the romance and the BS completely out of the equation.
On another note, I feel it’s a guy’s responsibility and his job as a masculine creature to donk these women, even if he kind of doesn’t want to. It’s just something we have to do to keep the ladies happy, and it’s a good thing to keep the ladies happy.
Comment by debra
| May 11th, 2008
But Lance brings up an interesting point…is it always all or nothing? If it starts out being about just sex, is that all it will be? DH seems to have all these wonderful definitions and categories, but who determines what the thing is? Do you have a conversation? Do you just assume, based on the others’ cues? “So, we’re clearly not going to be bf / gf, but I think you’re hot and we’re good together in bed, so…..FWB?” I’m too old to be figuring this crap out gentlemen! :)
btw..just received my own sexy text to add to the list….’so, how about a long…um….lunch, this week?’ Turns out if you ignore some Dads, they get more creative with their schedule…what a nice suprise! Thanks for the advice DH!
Comment by dadshouse
| May 11th, 2008
Debra, that text you got is hot! Talk about sexy dirty text messages. Have fun.
As for all the definitions I have… they are various shades of gray between being platonic friends and intimate partners. I had a booty call partner a year ago who wanted things to get more serious. That was awkward since we started out just having sex. And I had a girlfriend last summer who now wants to be just friends with benefits (I’ve blogged about her several times), and that’s awkward too.
My advice – stay out of your head, listen to your heart, feel it in your gut, and you’ll be fine.
Here’s to long…um…lunches! Keep us posted on the dirty text messages you receive. I’m filing that one on speed dial.
Comment by Kat Wilder
| May 11th, 2008
Hmm, online dating isn’t necessarily a bad way to meet people; I have proof! But I don’t think texting someone to ask him or her out is OK — for people “our” age (and I am making a face that I know is not a good look for me as I write that.)
Call me old school but texting is fun, as you say, for flirty, teasing foreplay throughout the day when you already have some sort of a connection with someone — not before date No. 1 (unless you both know that it’s a booty call and nothing more).
Bummer, though, that you didn’t get to blog about the date. Where’s your the T-shirt: “I went online for a date and all I got was this lousy blog posting”
Comment by mssinglemama
| May 11th, 2008
Did Lance seriously just say “Donk these women” !!! I just peed a little. Lance – you are a wise, wise man.
DH – A root canal?? You should write a post on the best excuses to get out of a date. That’s hysterical.
Yes … and make that t-shirt. And one that says, “Ms. Single Mama is jealous of Debra’s long lunches.” ; )
Comment by Lance
| May 11th, 2008
@mssinglemama: Sister, it took me 10 years to figure out that women just wanna get donked, and that it’s okay to be like that, and that the slut concept is an illusion and social programming and total bullshit. So now my life after my work life is dedicated to fulfilling my role as a man, that is, to donk beautiful women who want to be donked. So, Salud! here’s to you. May we all get donked.
Comment by M
| May 12th, 2008
And there are guys like me who are unable to have sex with women with whom we don’t have some subtantial emotional connection with, guys who want to have more than just sex. That’s the way I’m built, I guess. All the females I’ve had sex had with I knew ‘em for at least weeks before we did the beast with two backs. Days after I realized that my marriage couldn’t be saved, with the hookup just to prove to myself that I sould still spear ‘em, it literality stayed hard, but just couldn’t shoot. She was crazy for it because it stood in attention and didn’t retreat at all. But it made me feel like turd, literaly empty. I recently had a female sleep next to me and since I knew her for only a week, I decided I just couldn’t jump her bones because I didn’t know her well. Again, we’re all built different ways, I guess.
Comment by toni
| May 12th, 2008
Well, I just popped over to thank you for visiting my blog. Since I’m 3 days older than dirt! and married for 27 years, I don’t do the online dating scene, and have only just begun to text – to my 22 year old son. Guess I can’t contribute to this conversation, eh? I hope I stay married cuz I sure as hell won’t know the first thing about where to begin in today’s world! I’m likely to just be as blunt as I always was. “hey, wanna do it??”
Love your blog!
toni
Comment by Tracy
| May 12th, 2008
Hmmmm…sexy flirty texting……I’ll confess that I’ve been firty texting with someone for about 6 months…we’ve never met…but we’ve decided that we’re going to. We’ve spoken on the phone once or twice….and have decided to move it to the next level…I’m a little scared that a face to face meet will ruin things…but at the same time, I might be missing out on someone special…it’s all about taking chances…..right?
Comment by Becky
| May 12th, 2008
Dude, I’m pretty sure I heart your blog. I’m totally adding you as a link. Bring on the Daddy Blogs!
And I don’t really care for texting, myself, for dating or otherwise. I’m a phone kinda gal, myself. (Did I really just say “gal?”). Excuse me while I go wash my brain with bleach.
Comment by dadshouse
| May 12th, 2008
Thank you Lance for bringing “Donk” parlance to my blog! I crack up whenever I read your comments and posts. But the thing is, you give solid advice.
Toni – yes, dating as a single parent is, um – what’s a good word? Interesting? Frustating? Amusing? You learn to roll with it.
Kat – I agree online dating is a great way to meet people. But I think it’s a terrible way to find a dating relationship. Chemistry is felt by the whole body in person, it can’t be articulated in chekboxes and profiles prose. Love to hear your proof that it works. Did you blog on it? (As if blogging is proof)
Tracy – meet that person! Sounds fun. Maybe go in with low expectations but be open to however things go.
Becky – thanks for calling me “Dude.” My daughter calls me that. I’m used to it. And welcome to my blog! Glad you like it.
Great comments, all. Who knew a post on a few dirty text messages would generate so much discussion. And sorry I used a French Connection UK sign as the image for this post. I couldn’t find a Donk store.
Comment by Kat Wilder
| May 12th, 2008
Hmm, I haven’t blogged directly about that, but I’ve had two relationships from the online world — Ryan and Sean, whom I am seeing. I don’t blog about personal things when I’m involved with someone, though. Only after.
Hey, if you can breakup by texting, can you dump someone by blogging?
Comment by Honey
| May 12th, 2008
I couldn’t imagine text messages before meeting someone, except as a way to arrange the meet. The BF and I send each other dirty text messages and e-mails all the time, but that’s a little different as we’ve been together awhile.
The thing that bothers me about texting is the misspellings and shortcuts (”c u l8r”). Call me a fuddy duddy (or maybe just an English major), but I can’t STAND that. One thing that stuck out about the BF early on was that he uses the T9 feature on his phone so that his words are all real words. Sometimes when he wants to irritate me he sends “text speak.” But if I were just starting to date someone and he sent me texts in that shortcut language, it would kill the attraction PERMANENTLY. Same goes for e-mail. Capitalization and real sentences, people.
Sheesh. I feel like I’m older than you, DM!
Comment by dadshouse
| May 12th, 2008
Kat – I’m with you on that. I don’t like blogging about a relationship I’m currently in. I stick to writing about mishaps or prior girlfriends. You probably could break up through blogging, and that would be incredibly sad. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s been done on Myspace.
Huny – OMG! I luv 2 txt shrthnd! LOL. TTYL, k?
Comment by Lance
| May 12th, 2008
I’m with Honey on reasonable English in emails and texts–use it. We took those English classes together. I’ve never broken up with someone over text (yes over email), but I do the majority of my non-face-to-face flirting via text, even though it’s not my favorite medium.
Also, donk is such a fun word to say. Everyone say it with me. Donk! Donk! Yea!
Comment by mssinglemama
| May 12th, 2008
That guy did it again … he sent me another fricking text! Three strikes – he’s out.
I’ll write about it tomorrow.
Comment by The Exception
| May 14th, 2008
I loved this! I am a master at the sexy text or flirtatious e-mail, but I have to agree that the chemistry may be different on the phone. There is something about the voice and the ability to banter…*sigh* oh how I miss those fun conversations! ;)
Comment by MammaLoves
| May 15th, 2008
Okay, anyone who uses the word “cum” in a text before we’d even met would automatically need to be ruled out.
So glad you didn’t go out with her.
Comment by dadshouse
| May 15th, 2008
I’m with you MammaLoves – the whole flirty texting before meeting the first time is just plain wrong. In fact, flirty emails before meeting is not a good idea either. It sets expectations that usually end up being different than reality.
Technology-infused matchmaking, flirting, dating – it’s all a little weird. And I say this having done enough of it in 8 years to be a bit of an expert.
btw – the Hottie Mom emailed me this week to say her teeth are better, and did I want to reschedule. I still don’t know if her root canal was real or if she had better plans land in her lap. But at this point, if she sent more dirty text messages, I’m just not interested. Even if she wants to wrestle!
Pingback by The Proposition « JUST A MAN’S JOURNEY | May 20th, 2008
[...] road tip, sex, temptation We all get them…I read several blogs that discuss them in depth… flirty text messages. Well they come to me from a few different women…all seem to be single moms…all ones that I [...]
Comment by Maggie
| July 15th, 2008
Hello
I stumbled across you whilst searching searching for advice on sexy texts for a new bloke. I love what I’ve just read. I’m English, and trying to get my head around dating again, single mummy to an 11 year old and in the middle of a new online date, having met him once and now sexy texts have arrived. I’m trying hard but really really feeling uptight. Oh very Brit I know. I think you are right though, go with your instinct. I’m still stuck. I want be sexy without being cheap and tarty. Text messages are a tough cookie.
Comment by Easy Life
| October 20th, 2008
I always fall for nice provocative text messages
some of them you can even “feel” them.
Comment by foolery
| December 17th, 2008
I think I would prefer yelling across the pasture with a bullhorn. That way you wouldn’t have to see the word “cum” in print, which would make me woof my cookies. Yeah, I’m old and square. Bring me another shawl, will you dear? It’s so cold.
Comment by PT-LawMom
| December 26th, 2008
Ditto on “that word”. I like sexy texts as much as the next girl but that particular word kind of makes me squirm, especially when used by someone who is e-mailing me for the first time on a dating service. I had a guy on Chemistry who exchanged basic details and then went straight for the super-sexy talk. Ugh…
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Comment by Andrew
| October 5th, 2009
Haha, great post..Thanks man.
Comment by bingo lover
| November 13th, 2009
It’s a bad idea when you get to exchange dirty messages without meeting first the person. After several dates, see how comfortable you are with each other. Then let the texting of dirty messages begin. Exchanging dirty messages before you have actually spend time with each other makes it more awkward. Sometimes it spoils your impression.
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Comment by Kimmie K
| November 17th, 2009
WOW!!!! I just found your blog and shared it with 8 friends (mostly guys). I so agree!!! I stopped setting up dates or even considering dates without at least a phone call. People have mastered the art of playing to a fantasy via text and the whole thing can get spoiled fast when reality creeps in.