Comments on: Blended Families – Stirred, Not Shaken

By: Jane Massengill

Jane Massengill — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 05:24:27 +0000

This post is great. I wish all the best to Jorge. In case he has questions about blended families, I invite him to a Live 60-minute call-in Teleseminar on Thursday, July 31st, 6PM Pacific / 9PM Eastern. Please visit Blended-Families.com to be able to participate in the call for free.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:00:54 +0000

Hey there OneManThreeKids – welcome! Yes, single parents get the “kids come first” mentality. I look forward to hearing more from you, and checking out your blog. Thanks for dropping in.

By: OneManThreeKids

OneManThreeKids — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:36:34 +0000

First off…I really enjoy your blog. It has inspired me to start my own. Your content is quite enjoyable.

Back on point now… I have found that these decisions are not made without seeing this potential SO over a few seasons of the year. I have dated both SW/NK and SW/WK both have pros and cons; however the SW/WK blends better into my world as she tends to understand priorities and the “kids first, us when we can schedule it” mentality…not to mention she is a mom and completes the circle well. SW/NK tend to want more than what I can give or desire to blend quicker then I am ready…they don’t understand the attachment kids make overnight. The biggest key…Emotional health!!
A great blend can only be achieved when you find that SO who loves your kids as much as they love you. Then you can work out the parenting differences via open healthy communication and some planning.

By: Honey

Honey — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:45:47 +0000

Thanks for the plug, DM! And even if you’re starting from scratch, negotiation is necessary :-)

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:36:27 +0000

Jorge, thank you for your input – you’re the blended family expert! I’m glad to be learning a different perspective through talking with you and reading your blog posts and comments.

By: Jorge Fitz-Gibbon

Jorge Fitz-Gibbon — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:08:58 +0000

Thanks, single mom. :) I think her mom is kind of old-fashioned and prefers a “cleaner” relationship, as in marriage and that her divorce were final. I also agree that it’s about the person, not necessarily their parental circumstance (or lack thereof). Still, my decision to surround myself with single-parents coincided with my son getting older and understanding my dating situation better. To that end, I found myself more comfortable with other single parents who understood the time demands and the dual-responsibility of simultaneously parenting and dating. That led to both friendships and relationships of varying lengths and level of commitment, and which I generally found to be more mature, mutually satisfying and rewarding. As I always said, we may all have baggage, but as single parents we also have carry-on bags.
Enter the blended family. As dadshouse pointed out, it’s a work in progress for me. But I find that it’s significantly easier to make the transition when both partners come from a place of equal standing, both individually and, most importantly, as parents with dual interests and responsibilities. Merging those into one is the trick!
And thanks to dadshouse for tackling this issue.

By: Single Mom Seeking

Single Mom Seeking — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:54:33 +0000

You go Jorge! I didn’t know that you and your lovely girlfriend were shacking up. That’s so great!

Isn’t everyone on you: “Why didn’t you propose to her first?” (They kept asking me why my boyfriend and I weren’t getting married first before moving in… maybe because I’m a woman? I don’t know).

I can’t say that I’m partial to dads vs. single men. It depends on the individual. The few single dads I’ve dated were NOT divorced yet (”separated”). Not again!!

Great post. For me, it’s all about how the man behaves, what he says, how he acts… And I have the kind of kid who loves being an only child.