Dad’s House

44 Responses to “Who Needs Protection? It’s Only a One Night Stand”

1. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 4th, 2008

   I came here for a contest and found condoms! So I’ll check out the contest in a bit.

   Actually, I think regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship, it is your choice whether or not to use a condom. And I’m sure it’s a big stretch to say it’s socially irresponsible. It’s as if you are saying there are rampant diseases waiting to jump on the first unprotected cock they come across! I tell you, it’s not like that. Not really. I mean there are plenty of women giving men blowjobs. And then using condoms for sex. Nobody is crying out to stop the unprotected blowjobs!

   I do not speak from a clueless standpoint. I have read all the studies and seen all the statistics. But in real, real life, if you are a reasonably clean middle-class person, dating the same, the risk of disease just is not as prevalent as it is purported to be. If it were, do you realize how very much STDs would be terrorizing society?

   The whole condom issue is way overstressed. I understand personal preference. But I do not think you need to point fingers and call people irresponsible toward the whole of society just because they choose to have casual sex without the use of that form of protection.

   Once, I was with a man who asked if I brought protection. I said, “No, why?” He said, “Well I just thought it might be safer.” I said, “You want safety… hire a prostitute.”

2. Comment by dadshouse | June 4th, 2008

   Teri

   Sorry, you’re wrong. Some STDs travel by skin to skin contact. HPV and Herpes come to mind. So yes – there are diseases that might jump onto or off of the first cock you touch!

   http://cancer.about.com/b/2006/11/22/how-to-prevent-hpv.htm

   I agree it’s your choice to use a condom or not. But I think it’s naive to assume every person you sleep with is clean. Perhaps you could support your statements with a pointer to the studies you read that say STDs are not a risk? And condoms don’t help?

   Here are some opinions different from yours: http://www.stdservices.on.net/std/prevention/prevention.htm
   http://www.drmirkin.com/women/W205.htm
   http://www.herpesonline.org/std_information/SafeSex.html

   I stand by my statement that it’s socially irresponsible to have an unprotected one night stand. If you have unprotected sex in a relationship, that’s your business.

3. Comment by mapiprincesa | June 4th, 2008

   That is true, Daddy-o. In fact, so many women don’t report being infected simply because they are asymptomatic–until that pap smear comes back abnormal for the first time, until they find out they have cervical displasia or, worse yet, cervical cancer. And it is more and more common–thus the push for the HPV vaccine for teenage girls.

   Good post and extremely relevant. Now to get the word out to those less educated, those who think themselves “too good” or “too clean” and those of too “high-class” to be affected by this on an informal, one-night (or recreational vs. in a relationship) basis.

   Be well, Daddy-o.

4. Comment by Kelly | June 4th, 2008

   Wow! This is getting graphic, but rightfully so. Discussions like this need to be honest.

   Teri, I also strongly disagree with what you said, but wanted to touch on this point:
   “Not really. I mean there are plenty of women giving men blowjobs. And then using condoms for sex. Nobody is crying out to stop the unprotected blowjobs!”

   Very, very untrue. I have worked in the sexual education field before, my main focus being college students. I’ve taught “freshman experience” courses at two college level institutions, and had peer educators from the health center on campus come and talk to each seperate class. One thing they advocate is to use protection during oral sex, be it a dental dam (placed on a woman) or a condom on a male. Thinking anything but is totally irresponsible.

   Also, stating that STD’s aren’t as prevalant as reported to be is false. It’s actually frightening how prevalant some are, particularly HPV. I can name a handful of close friends who’ve had actual cervical cancer scares because of HPV, and they were all “clean, middle-class people”, well educated, and slept with people who they also believed to be clean and middle-class.

   To assume that STD’s aren’t a problem of those in the middle class (or a problem for society as a whole, actually) is ridiculous. I find that offensive, and it justifies the stigma that everyone with any sort of STD is dirty. You DO NOT need to have sexual intercourse to get something like HPV.

   Sorry for getting so heated. My sex education background is coming out full force.

   Dadshouse, you rock for this post. Kudos to you for being SO freaking informed.

5. Comment by TK421 | June 4th, 2008

   Socially irresponsible is a great way to put it. We’re not in the 60’s anymore. Men who “…ask, beg, plead, cajole to have bareback sex” could be a walking factory of STDs. Really, do men not care that a night of unprotected sex could mean their dicks fall off in a couple months? I guess that’s the point. Some men don’t think about it.

6. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 4th, 2008

   It was my main purpose to just present a different view and aver that it is just that. A different view. There is no need to call someone names and say they are making destructive choices against society. It is just as much your own business between two new partners that are having sex as it is if you are in a relationship. Many, many STDs are passed on in the midst of these relationships. If two people choose not to use protection and they hardly know one another, I see this as something they decide personally. It is their choice.

   I never once said that STDs are not a problem for the middle class. I simply said that it is less likely to contract one if you are not hanging out in seedy bars and hooking up with drunks and drug addicts.

   I just feel that people should be able to be free to make those choices. To have unprotected oral sex, or whatever kind of sex they want. And to label them as the dredges of society is the thing I’m speaking out against.

   And if not for posters like me, this would be an entirely boring string! I mean really. We can’t have everyone agreeing! There’s got to be diversity!

7. Comment by mssinglemama | June 4th, 2008

   It’s my personal belief that condoms and birth control should be mailed to every household on a monthly basis – by the government! To protect against STDS and more importantly, unwanted pregnancies.

   Accidents do happen though … in my case it was a very happy accident with my then husband. Now…as a parent, I would never, ever dream of sleeping with someone unless we had protection.

   You can avoid accidental pregnancies by visiting this website – KNOW YOUR CYCLE ladies – it will open up an entirely new door to sexual freedom. For example, I know that I ovulated yesterday – which means I can’t get pregnant until at least two weeks from now. Pretty spiffy, huh?

   Here’s the website:

   http://www.tcoyf.com

   Ms. Single Mama

8. Comment by dadshouse | June 4th, 2008

   Hi Teri

   I think the only name calling was me saying men who insist and cajole a woman into unprotected one-night-stand sex are assholes. And they are acting irresponsibly.

   I could have soft-shoed around the issue, acknowledged that everyone’s actions are based on their own experiences, and who am I to wonder what drives anyone’s choices or mistakes? But would that statement have as much impact?

   As for socially destructive choices, I guess that’s a matter of opinion. Is it environmentally destructive for a soccer mom to drive a 4 MPG Humvee around? I mean, it’s her choice, right? We all suffer the consequences, eventually.

9. Comment by The Exception | June 4th, 2008

   Just a comment in response to your friend. I have been with men who do not think about wearing protection – so… I just carry protection for them! (And I am not shy about telling them to use it)

   There are numerous forms of HPV – it is easily spread and is often spread by men because they are unaware that they have it. We need to find a test that identifies it on men so that it can be eliminated. Vaccinated women is not necessarily a solution to the SDT issue.

10. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 4th, 2008

    Dad, there is such a thing as name-calling without actually calling names. A technicality, I know. But when I read your post, it comes across as smugly touting superiority in the case of those responsible, condom wearing citizens and inferiority in the case of those who are electing to just blatantly muddy up the dating pool.

    I am completely on board with helping people to be educated and make intelligent choices. And even at the highest levels of education, people do not agree. We should not set ourselves up as having the right answers, just because they agree with the majority.

11. Comment by dadshouse | June 4th, 2008

    Thanks Teri. Sorry if my post sounded smug. I meant it more as a stern lecture to condom-less one-night-stands that I read about in SingleMomSeeking’s recent blog posts, and her wondering whether people even wear condoms anymore. That was shocking to me.

    I don’t judge people who use or don’t use condoms, but I have strong opinions that people engaged in casual sex and one-night-stands should wear protection – for themselves, their partner, and the dating pool.

    Hookups and booty calls are prevalent in modern dating, even when the environment is not seedy, like at world-renowned Duke university, or the 20- to 40-something Bay Area dating pool. I blogged about that with respect to Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Laura Session Stepp’s book, “Unhooked” http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/02/29/hooking-up-i-just-want-to-be-your-lover/

    Sounds like I have to work on my delivery so I don’t sound smug.

12. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 4th, 2008

    Dad ~ I don’t fault you for it. It’s common enough. We all struggle with trying to say something without, at the same time, calling those who disagree stupid.

    It’s the human dilemma.

    Everyone has made good points, though. And blogging is all about just saying what you think, right?

13. Comment by Honey | June 4th, 2008

    Upwards of 3/4 of sexually active people have (or have had) some strain of HPV, as it is spread not by fluids but by skin-to-skin contact. My doctor told me (when she was trying to convince me to get the vaccine…I decided not to as I’m too old for insurance to cover it and am also in a monogamous relationship) that, with the exception of the strains that cause cervical cancer, HPV is like the “common cold” of sexual activity. Like the cold, it is a virus, but also like the cold, most of the time your body kicks its ass and then it’s out of your system, and you’re immune to that strain in the future.

    If you actually get warts you can have them removed, and if your insurance will cover the vaccine that’s also good, but there’s no point in worrying about it as anyone can have any strain (and spread simply by touch)–better to not be overly promiscuous and to see the doctor regularly and be on top of it.

    As far as other STDs, it is SO IMPORTANT to use protection because you can’t rely on other people to be honest with you or to have your (or even their) best interests in mind. To me, using protection is kind of a self-esteem issue. If you think you are worth protecting, then you’ll take steps to make sure that you’re safe and healthy. And since everyone should feel like they deserve those things…everyone should use protection.

    Not that I’ve been perfect. Now that I am in a 2-year relationship (that started with unprotected sex on the first date, though I was on the pill and safe that way) where we are monogamous and have been tested, I am SCARED of the way my younger self acted. If I am ever single in the future, I could never go back to that type of activity. It just has the potential to jeopardize too much that I want to accomplish.

    My two cents…

14. Comment by debra | June 4th, 2008

    regarding the HPV vaccine….I STRONGLY urge any younger readers who are in the target for this vaccine to get it. (Though, of course, respect many women’s reasons not to) As a woman who has battled with cervical cancer for 4 years, I would have given my left arm to have avoided the biopsies, surgeries and panicked thoughts about who will raise my son should the cervical cancer turn into something more aggressive. Condoms or not, all you’ve got to do is have sex once with someone who has had sex at least one other time with another person and there is a chance of getting HPV. I have to take issue with HPV being called “the common cold of STDs”, althought this is a popular perspective. That’s true in the sense that it’s everywhere, and so easy to contract, but the inference that it’s not a serious threat to your health is a dangerous one. If a vaccine could have prevented 4 years of battling healthcare professionals for the ‘luxury’ of refusing a hysterectomy to keep my reproductive options open I’d have been the first in line to get it.

15. Comment by Backpacking Dad | June 4th, 2008

    I think I can agree with you this far: the write-up needed more than an “oops”. “Oops” is a diminutive, used to make something seem less serious than it is. At the very least a “disastrously” or “unexpectedly” or “recklessly” or some other like term might have been used.

    Unprotected sex is, at best, selfish. I don’t know if it’s more or less selfish than speeding.

16. Comment by Lia | June 4th, 2008

    I have been out of the sleeping around/dating game for 14 years now but I am not surprised by the whole condom debate. The thing I find so crazy about this string is focusing on “choice.” Yes, it is the people involved in an encounter that have the “choice” to use protection or not, but it is what comes out of that choice that is not in your control.

    Have I had unprotected sex? Of course! Did I wake up the next morning regretting it and fearing for what could have happened? Of course!

    Dad gets it right, I think, the decision to not use protection is often fueled by hormones or alcohol. I think it is a bad decision no matter what. Period!

17. Comment by Single Mom Seeking | June 4th, 2008

    Backpacking Dad, Re: the “oops,” I appreciate the editorial advice. I’m being genuine and serious. I probably should have added an adverb… and at the same time, I didn’t want to give away the whole book. I wish I could retract that word now.

    Anyway, I just want to give you kudos, Dad’s House, for being a role model here when it comes to safe sex. I hope more men come to your site and read this post. It is a scary, emotional topic indeed. Thanks for joining forces with me today on this one.

18. Comment by mssinglemama | June 4th, 2008

    Yes, get the HPV vaccine … and let’s not call an accidental pregnancy a disaster. Simmer down people…

    Sounds like we all need to get L–D! : ) Sorry, couldn’t help it.

    Love you DH!

19. Comment by Kat Wilder | June 4th, 2008

    Safe sex is a big issue for divorced people my age; really, if you’ve been married for 15, 20 years, you kinda don’t think about it. That whole AIDs/STD thing seemed so removed from us.

    I blogged about it not too long ago, the gist of it being this: we do get tested and by now, many of us know we should ask to see our potential partner’s results but we often don’t. Just the fact that he/she got tested seems to be enough. Right. We tend to think of condoms as protecting against babies; for post-menopausal women, that’s no longer an issue. STDs are, however.

    So the big rise in STDs is among older people, not the young ones (and, sadly, among married women, too — from affairs …). And even among people in retirement homes (thank Viagra for that!)

    Unprotected sex is like playing sexual roulette, and once you have unprotected sex with someone, you’ve basically had unprotected sex with everyone he/she has had sex with. It adds up quickly.

    Sad to say, many people — seemingly “nice,” professional, upper-class types — aren’t honest about their STDs, either. If you want to take that risk, OK, fine, go for it. As long as you do that as a conscious decision. And Sex Under the Influence is about as bad as DUI, and maybe as deadly.

    Once you’re exposed to something, there is no going back.

    True, it is a choice to use condoms or not. But if someone isn’t be honest about his/her STD situation and/or sexual practices, the choice isn’t fully yours, is it?

20. Comment by mistyjade | June 5th, 2008

    Very Interesting post! and it brought alot of people into discussion about a serious topic! Nice

21. Comment by Cheeky | June 5th, 2008

    Bumped into this site I don’t even remember how, but nice job! Everything inside of me is boiling after reading this and SMS posts and comments (mostly because some of the comments). I’m appalled by the amount of women (most of them grown women) that do not take care of themselves and their families. And yes, I too believe that having sex without a condom on a one night stand (or any other time that you are fooling around not in a monogamous relationship were you both haven’t been to the Dr. together and tested for everything) is socially irresponsible. And not only do I have statistics like a lot of people mentioned, but I have the example of a really loved one (my aunt… she was a Dr. non the less ) that died last year of HIV (after 10 years of having it) because she decided to be “fancy free and foot loose”. She was as irresponsible as the guy who passed it to her. She left two teenagers when they needed her the most because of these. All the pain and the suffering, hers and ours could have been prevented!!!

    A pregnancy…if anything, that’s the only good thing that could happen.

    And finally, please forgive my grammar, I must confess that I’m short of English vocabulary (if you haven’t noticed, which might be a good thing, that way I keep the response short!!)

22. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 5th, 2008

    The choice is fully yours, regardless. It has nothing to do with their level of honesty, but how aware you are of the risks and how willing you are to take them.

    And if someone wanted to date me and asked for results of my recent test(s) for STDs, they wouldn’t see anything but my tail lights.

    Perhaps they would also like to see my clean bill of health from the shrink? Or my financial records. I mean, no one wants to gamble with getting involved with a potentially crazy and financially irresponsible person, right? ;)

    The fact is, relationships are risky. With sex being so much more readily delved into, the risks are much greater. On many levels. We try so very hard to make it safe.

    But really, there is nothing safe about sex.

23. Comment by Cheeky | June 5th, 2008

    Just because you have the choice, it doesn’t mean that you will make an educated and responsible decision. I get your point, that’s the way you want to live your life.

    Personally I rather see the “tail lights” and have a pretty good chance of not getting any a random STD than have a good F#$CK and get sick. But that’s just me trying to make responsible and mature decisions.

24. Comment by whatmenthink | June 5th, 2008

    #1 Protection and Contraceptive is the responsibility of every person engaging sexual activity. Women should be on Birth Control and have condoms with them. Men should have condoms and know how to use them.

    #2 Women need to remember that a Oops results in them having a child or an abortion. That means that women should make safety a top priority.

25. Comment by Kelly | June 5th, 2008

    I’m just curious, Teri…if someone asked you for your STD test results, would that mean that they were implying you weren’t clean? I’m wondering why that would be something that would turn you off, rather than make you feel more secure.

    Let me explain—I’ve never been with a guy who has asked for my results first, but that’s always been one of my pre-requisites (sp?) before anything happenend without a condom. (Total overshare maybe, but hey.) When my now husband and I started dating exclusively and sex came into the picture, we always used condoms. When we decided our relationship was completely monogamous and long term and we were ready to forgo condoms, we both got tested and showed each other the results. Any guy who wouldn’t have been willing to do so wouldn’t be long term (or sex) material at all.

    If I happened to be dating again and the guy was the first to ask, I would be beyond impressed. It would imply that he’s as serious about being safe and responsible, and that’s attractive to me.

    Sex isn’t ever going to be 100% safe, but isn’t making it as safe as possible a smart move?

26. Comment by Kelly | June 5th, 2008

    Just had an idea for a future post:

    How to ask for (or a response to being asked for) test results, or experiences w/ that. Would be interesting.

    :)

27. Comment by dadshouse | June 5th, 2008

    Teri – lice is treatable, herpes is not. It never goes away. I for one would like to know beforehand if a potential sex partner is infected. Note that with herpes, even if you don’t have symptoms, you can still pass the virus to others.

    http://www.4woman.gov/FAQ/stdherpe.htm

28. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 5th, 2008

    I don’t think it appropriate to ask about my sexual past, or about my being “free of disease.” And even if one were to ask, to then ask me to PROVE that what I’m saying is true I believe is entirely contrary to the concept of relationship. When my child goes to someone’s house to play, I don’t ask for a clean bill of health regarding their children. I don’t ask them to prove to me that their children don’t have lice, when my child is invited for a sleep-over. I realize that STDs are not in the same category lice, but some of them ~ in fact most of them that you would MOST likely encounter ~ are just about the level of inconvenience as lice. Sometiems, even less so! I mean, have you ever had a child who came home with lice?

    I know that this generation is the first that has had to identify sex with death. You really could die if you have sex. That’s the message. It’s a message of fear. I’ve seen people who wear condoms religiously, and not wear a seat belt in a car, or a helmet when they ride a bike.

    When we’re talking about safety, it’s important to remember that the level of safetiness people choose in their lives is very personal. I may not put locks on the cabinet doors in my house when I have a toddler. I may be one who believes in just teaching them not to open those things. Does that make me irresponsible as a parent?

    I do not live by fear. That is my choice. When I meet someone, I want to meet them on the grounds of trust. Yes, if you are casually dating and sleeping around, the best idea is to just use protection. It would be odd to meet a woman or man at a bar and say, “Hey, let’s go f–k ~ but first, can I see your most recent test results?” As I said earlier. If you want safety for casual sex, hire a prostitute.

    Test results and such are for laboratories and doctors and promote a lack of trust. Yeah, it’s risky. It’s all a risk. Physically, emotionally, even spiritally. But who we each are decides how much of a risk we want to take.

    Even though I make choices that are not like those of others, does that mean that by comparison, I am to be subject to that implication of irresponsibility?

29. Comment by singlemomseeking | June 5th, 2008

    Kelly: Great idea for a future post for Dad’s House, re: Asking for test results! I’ve written a couple of posts about this on my blog.

    Like you, I always ask a man about his HIV/STD stats before sleeping with him. For me, this is along the same lines as asking a man, “Do you smoke pot?” (I can’t date pot smokers — or a guy who smokes anything, for that matter.)

    And when I’m in a monogamous relationship — and we are thinking about going condom-free — we both go to tested. Getting tested together can be quite the bonding experience! (Of course, you go to separate rooms for the personal interview.)

30. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 5th, 2008

    You all are welcome to live in that world you describe. It’s just not for me. That’s all.

31. Comment by Cheeky | June 5th, 2008

    CT – It is very appropriate to ask someone you plan on being intimate with about their sexual past. Would you get in a car with a drunk driver? Isn’t it better to prevent than to deal with unwanted consequences?

    I think the right thing to do on a casual “Hey, let’s go f*#k” is to have a condom ready. No BJ’s without condom, no party without a hat, period.

    I have a daughter and I really hope for her to live in the world most of us talk about.

32. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 5th, 2008

    Indeed, Cheeky, you feel it is appropriate. I do not. It’s okay to differ. It’s not okay to make people feel like the difference makes them lesser.

33. Comment by Lia | June 5th, 2008

    Cathouse Teri…I don’t get you. From your name (Cathouse) I can only get what you are about. It is not my place to slam you on Dad’s House but seriously? If you want to f*^k with your own life that’s cool but you gotta get your facts straight.

    You may not be “living with fear” but when you are living with an STD or worse, then lets see if you feel the same way.

34. Comment by SINGLE_M0M | June 5th, 2008

    I have to agree with Kat that this is a topic that those who have been through a divorce are having to face and many of these individuals, I’m afraid, are learning about STDs first-hand.

    These days, one of the first questions asked on first-date (I’ll get to my contest submission soon, I promise) is when the last time each person was tested. I LOVE this question and wish more men were the first to initiate that conversation when getting to know one another. It speaks highly of a person’s personal history without getting into details.

    One out of every 5 people in the U.S. has genital herpes. That doesn’t even cover the other STDs that are out there.

    There are so many ways to go with this discussion and so many important ideas and comments already mentioned but the one I want to bring up is sexual responsibility as far as men and women are concerned.

    When I was a teen, safe sex meant being protected by either the pill OR by using a condom and it was usually the female’s responsibility to “enforce” the use of both.

    If we believe that men and women are equal (and I DO believe this to be true), then it would seem to me that women should be held responsible for the pregnancy factor (she would, after all, be the one carrying the baby), while the male should be responsible for wearing a condom and making sure that he carries them with him at all times.

    Of course, women who want to have more of a say in regards to their sexual freedom should also be pro-active about carrying condoms or having them available.

    When my 4-year-old son found my stash in my drawer next to the bed, he asked if they were candy. I can’t remember how I got out of that one, but I do know that when the time comes for that “talk,” I’ll be the first one to hand him a box and let him know that it’s much more sexy to be prepared than to be sorry.

35. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 5th, 2008

    Lia ~ You’re right. You know nothing about me.

    I think I’ve made it very clear what I’ve been trying to say here. If everyone reading me can’t handle trying to see it the way I’ve laid it out, that is no concern of mine. I’m done trying to explain myself.

36. Comment by Single_M0M | June 6th, 2008

    Teri,

    I am not judgmental in any way and I do agree with many of the things you have to say. Everyone lives their lives differently and chooses their partners (sexual or otherwise) based on different factors. It’s all quite personal and I respect everyone’s comments and appreciate the different perspectives.

    That said, I have to ask what you meant about the prostitute. I thought you were being sarcastic when I first read it but then you mentioned it again. Am I missing something?

37. Comment by Cathouse Teri | June 6th, 2008

    Single Mom,

    Most of what I say is tongue-in-cheek. I made the reference to the prostitute to make an exaggerated reference to the fact that if you are trying to control the sexual experience, then go to a professional.

    I fully believe that if you are a believer in condom as a safety precaution, then you should carry condoms. Man or woman. And if you are planning to be with someone who doesn’t like it that you want to use one, then they should just move on and find their own like-minded sexual partners.

    Most of my statements were made partially hypothetically and partially personally. But only in the interest of promoting seeking those who want to be in the dating game with the same rules you do.

    I believe this was the focus of Dad’s post and I’m sorry if any of my comments led the direction away from that.

38. Comment by Lance | June 6th, 2008

    Hmm, I got to this one kind of late. I love the idea of condoms and birth control arriving in the mail and I’m all for that. Women should have condoms available just like the guys do (or should)…it sometimes floors me when I have sex at her place that she doesn’t. Just FYI, I also stash condoms in my car and occasionally in my back pocket so they’re always available. That way there’s no excuse.

    I also don’t think it’s a big deal to ask for test results. Just ask. It hasn’t disrupted my sexual experiences a whit to talk frankly about sex…in fact, I prefer it.

    DM, good post.

39. Comment by Syn | June 7th, 2008

    I agree. It is very irresponsible to have unprotected sex, especially with a one night stand! The STD standpoint aside, would you want to raise a child for 18 YEARS with a person you barely know? They could be a whack job and you are then caught in 18 years of hell raising a child with somebody you wouldn’t choose to take care of your dog, let alone your child!!!

    Unprotected sex is just plain stupid!!!

    Here is some of my own research on the topic:

    http://www.lifeofsyn.com/2008/02/hpv-human-papillomavirus.html

    http://www.lifeofsyn.com/2008/03/std-rates-in-teens.html

40. Comment by Syn | June 7th, 2008

    Here are more statistics I am digging up:

    http://www.lifeofsyn.com/2007/11/gardasil-should-we-or-shouldnt-we.html

    It is just plain irresponsible, and yes, stupid, to have unprotected sex. Whether you are upper, middle, or lower class, these diseases don’t care about how much money you have in your wallet or how big of a house you live in.

41. Comment by Single Mom Seeking | June 8th, 2008

    Lance, do tell: how do you stash condoms in the car? I learned the hard way that the heat just kills them… It seemed so convenient until summer arrived.

    As for my pocket, my kid has asked me, “What’s in your pocket?” That was not a good choice for a single parent. But I’ve come up with a couple more secret places.

42. Comment by Jaclyn | June 9th, 2008

    When I was in sixth grade, the health teacher had all the kids in the classroom do a demonstration. Half would get latex gloves, the other half would not. Everyone got a notecard that either said ‘STD’ or ‘No diseases’. You didn’t know who had the ‘STD’ cards and who didn’t.

    Then, for 10 minutes, the students would shake hands. Half had gloves (for condoms) and half didn’t. Then, the teacher directed some students to take off their gloves. At the end of the demonstration, the teacher asked those who had the STD cards in the beginning to raise their hand. Then the teacher asked the people who had shaken those people hand without a glove on. The number was rapidly rising.

    By the end of the demonstration (and as hands raised, watching to “progress” of the disease growing), the majority of the class had the STD. Only 1 person (without a glove) had had the original notecard with ‘STD’ written on it. The ones that had kept the glove on and shaken hands never got ‘infected’. The ones that didn’t have gloves and the ones that took off their gloves later in the experiment had all received the STD.

    Sure, its a childish example (well, I was in 6th grade), maybe, but I’ve never forgotten it. There are so many horrible, sexually transmitted diseases out there that cannot be cured and they spread so fast, especially when people are having unprotected, casual sex.

    For me, the motto is ‘Better safe than sorry’. I apply this to wearing a seatbelt and not getting in a car with someone who is drunk, too. It CAN happen to you…but its less likely to if you protect yourself and think about your own safety.

43. Comment by dadshouse | June 9th, 2008

    Single Mom Seeking – I’m like Lance in that I stash them in my car. To answer your question, I don’t keep them there all the time. I just slip one in the glove when I’m heading out on a date. Or when I’m heading out to a bar and I’m feeling lucky… (though seriously, how often does that really happen?)

    Jacklyn and Syn – thanks for the great comments!

44. Comment by Youth Radio | July 31st, 2008

    Hey, you might like our video “Unprotected Sex is the New Engagement Ring” at
    http://current.com/items/89149905_unprotected_sex_is_the_new_engagement_ring

    Check out the video and vote if you have a sec!

    Thanks

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