Flirty Text Messages on Craigslist
Her Craigslist dating ad last Tuesday was simple and direct:
Summer Romance – I’m 35, attractive and active, take good care of myself. I’m educated with a successful career. Looking for an intelligent, fit, emotionally healthy man, 35-45. Let’s meet for drinks tonight and see where things lead.
Summer romance with an attractive woman who wanted to meet tonight? Sounded perfect to me. It was already 8:45pm, and she’d posted at 8:30pm, so I had a real shot. Some women dating on Craigslist received 300 responses per post. For a guy to get picked, sending the first compelling reply was key. I emailed a note and a pic of my smiling face.
Hey – I like how you sound. I’m a SWM, early 40s, educated, in shape, nearby. Drinks tonight sounds great.
The best thing about Craigslist is its immediacy. Forget match.com and yahoo personals with their checkboxed descriptions of an ideal partner, prolonged emails, and lengthy search for the one. On Craigslist it was all about who wants to meet right now? Chemistry is felt in an instant in person, after all. The important thing is to meet.
Half an hour passed.
Surely she’d picked someone by now. If she was real. I’d been around the block enough times that Craigslist burned me more than once. But I’d also met some really great women – for coffee, drinks, hiking, cycling, dinner. I just figure you have to break some eggs to make an omelet. And if said omelet is made for two the morning after an evening date? I won’t complain.
She sent an email. Her pic was attractive. Her note was brief:
Looks good. Where do you live?
I know enough not to give personal details online to a stranger, so I side-step questions like that. The key was to meet, especially when her ad said tonight. She was looking for summer romance, not looking all summer for the perfect partner. I wrote right back.
I’m one town over. Are you in the mood for cocktails or wine?
Another five minutes passed, not a good sign. She might be considering a handful of guys. And why not? If she was out clubbing, she’d have an entire venue of men to flirt with. Finally she wrote and suggested we chat on Yahoo IM.
Her: hi!
Me: hey, how are you?
Her: I’m good. Getting a little late.
(Fair enough, she’d posted an hour before.)
Me: I live nearby. Let’s meet right now and chat over drinks.
Her: that would be fun, but I have to get up early.
(Granted, it was a weeknight. But she’s the one who’d posted looking for tonight.)
Me: you’ll be in bed early. It’s just a drink
Her: maybe you want more than that
(From summer romance to one-night-stand – maybe she was testing my intentions)
Me: no, just a drink to see if we click. Summer’s just getting started. Plenty of time for fun.
Her: good! But I really do have to get up early. Maybe tomorrow night?
(Sigh. I wouldn’t push. Best to play on her terms.)
Me: I would, but I already have dinner plans with a buddy. Sorry.
Her: no problem. How about Thursday?
Me: sure! That would be great.
We agreed to chat some more during the day on Thursday to iron out plans. Craigslist immediacy was being tossed out the window, but at least I had a date. With an attractive, educated, sexy woman, no less.
On Thursday I couldn’t wait for our evening date. Drinks with romance potential. This could turn into a very good summer, indeed. Too bad we hadn’t exchanged cell phone numbers, we could swap some flirty text messages or actually talk. I sent her email. The response was immediate:
From: MAILER-DAEMON@yahoo.com
Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message. That account has been deactivated.
Talk about simple and direct. Ah, Craigslist.
- Online Dating – Sadly, I’m a Bit of an Expert
- Dirty Text Message Jokes
- Texting for Chemistry – Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 2
- Some Rude Text Messages Deserve a Truckers Salute
- Sexy Flirty Dirty Text Messages
- Sexy Text Messages From a Discreet Affair
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Comment by Single Mom in New England
| July 7th, 2008
That’s worth a good laugh on a Monday morning. I admire the fact you’re willing to share your dating experiences, good and bad, with us!
She sounded squirrely from the get-go though, already making excuses about having to get up early when you weren’t even out of the starting gate yet. And she was the one who said TONIGHT! :P
Comment by debra
| July 7th, 2008
It makes me a bit sad that I can relate to this absurdity, yet I can’t stop laughing!! Very funny!
Comment by The Exception
| July 7th, 2008
My daughter is going to be out of the house for a few hours on Saturday… this post gave me a great idea… the immediacy of CL, the abundance of male responses to a female post (I can weed them out via the pictures that so many happily/eagerly attach)… and the house might do some shaking!
Thanks for the idea!
Oh, and sorry about your lost date. The most frustrating thing about CL is that there are so many out there who aren’t genuine or sincere; so many are flakes. That said, I have met some great guys too. Good luck with your next attempt.
Comment by Tonya
| July 7th, 2008
Eh, win some, lose some, right?
I have never tried Craig’s List. That is WAY interesting…
Its too bad I don’t live “one town over”, I’d love to meet you for a drink (or two). It seems we have a lot in common.
Comment by mama llama
| July 7th, 2008
That is funny–sorry to have to laugh at your expense.
Craig’s List has been my primary mode of advertising for my business, and launched me very well. Thus far, no advertising expenditures. It is funny to see the different ads that come up under “lessons and tutoring”…the one who would pay $200/hour for a woman (description followed) to teach him to kiss. Another who wanted lessons on how to pick up women.
I told my friends I ought to up my rates and diversify my offerings.
Be well.
Comment by dadshouse
| July 7th, 2008
You know, it totally doesn’t bug me to share stories like this, even though I’m sometimes the brunt of the joke. I’ve had enough good dates that the bad experiences have become good barroom stories. (Hey, my blog is now a bar! Come here often? What are you drinking! )
And by the way, craigslist in the Bay Area has gone to pot. It’s 98% spam. Used to be great. Now, not so, as evidenced by the story, which was recent.
Comment by whatmenthink
| July 7th, 2008
WOW! That’s rough. No worries David. If she ever tasted your grilled salmon fillet and grilled asparagus, she would know what she lost.
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| July 7th, 2008
Dang. You have just further proved to me why I don’t use Craig’s List.
Comment by dadshouse
| July 7th, 2008
WMT – if she had tasted my cooking, I’m guessing I would have learned that “she” was a “he” collecting pictures and information to post on a dating website in Russia or some other distant place! There are tons of dating sites out there populated with fakery. If you’re going to online date, stick with a proven site. (CL used to be decent, not anymore)
SMS – you are smart.
Comment by Honey
| July 7th, 2008
Some of my best stories are horror stories or just simple hilarious crap. I thought this was great!
Comment by pajama momma
| July 7th, 2008
She.was.lame.
Comment by justrun
| July 7th, 2008
Wow. I should know all about this part of the dating “world” and yet, I do not.
Comment by Shannon
| July 8th, 2008
Yeah this is great. She chickened out. Or had some other crazy woman motive we may never know. Unless she reads your blog. ;)
Comment by The Exception
| July 8th, 2008
CL here is no longer what it once was either. I have a feeling that the best way to meet people is still via friends and family if not while doing something you absolutely love.
But, CL does make for interesting stories!
Comment by lisaq
| July 8th, 2008
Flaky from the get go that one! Her loss!
Comment by pisceshanna
| July 8th, 2008
Aww bummer, I hate it when people chicken out. If you didn’t actually want to meet someone WHY PUT THE AD OUT? I guess a lot of people are creeped out by the sketchiness of Craigslist. People in my town are always telling me “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GIRL WHO GOT KILLED AFTER ANSWERING AN AD?!” Well, duh, don’t go into the woods with man carrying a gun…*sigh* I guess there’s no easy option.
Comment by katherine.
| July 8th, 2008
I agree the bay area CL is no longer a good resource for singles…furniture yes… decent men no.
sorry your expectations were raised….
Comment by singleworkingmommy
| July 9th, 2008
BITCHES! Loved this post. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see how it went.
I think I must be super-prude or something. I would *never* do that! That as in, post on Craigslist for a date that same night. My Craigslist posts are strictly for getting rid of baby gear.
Whoever said she was squirrely? I agree. Maybe she was a man.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| July 11th, 2008
There were about seventy-five times I would have turned away from being interested in a conversation with this person. Beginning with, “I’m attractive.”
Never, would I date someone who calls themselves that. The subject of whether a person is attractive brings to mind a line from the movie Hello Dolly! where she is approached by Horace Vandergelder and he asks, “Do you think you have the figure to wear that get-up?” She coyly replies, “That’s for others to decide.”