Napa and Sonoma Aren’t the Only Places to Meet Singles Wine Tasting
Over the long weekend a buddy and I spent a day wine tasting in the Santa Cruz mountains. Which is to say, rather than tasting we socialized and drank. As it should be for a single dad like me. (My buddy is married, which could spell wingman trouble, but he’s a good and respectful companion, not someone who lies to women.)
No matter the region – Napa, Sonoma, Monterey, Paso Robles, Santa Barbara, Santa Ynez, Santa Cruz – wineries are great places for singles to meet. Simply step up to the tasting bar next to a pair of attractive women. In ten minutes, you can rub shoulders, engage in conversation, amuse with wit. And you don’t have to know a thing about wine. If the tasting ends with no connection, everyone goes their merry way. But if there’s a spark or you simply get along, you can suggest meeting up at another winery. All these things happened this past weekend, so it was a typical good day.
And then I fell hard for one of the pourers.
We entered a less-trafficked winery and she immediately turned my head. Thirty-something, cute, athletic, nice smile, a little shy. Like an older, down-to-earth, Lost in Translation Scarlett Johansson. Now then, when it comes to bars and clubs, I have practically no game. I’m terrible at approaching women, making small talk, flirting and raising the heat. But in a tasting environment or a bar in a nice restaurant where the banter is witty and low key, I definitely hold my own. And so it was with all the confidence in the world that I stepped up to the bar right in front of this pourer.
For story-telling purposes, I’ll leave out the wine pouring small talk and cut straight to the chase.
There were horses near the winery and one galloped into view. The pourer was wearing Wranglers, an aggie-style jean. I asked if she rode.
“No,” she said.
Okay, no problem, I’d try a different approach. Country music played softly on the radio, and I’m more of an alt-rock fan. Everyone has their preference. I asked the pourer what music she liked.
“Country,” she said. It figured. “And alt-rock.”
Ding-ding-ding!
I immediately told a funny story involving San Francisco’s infamous alt-rock radio station, the One and Only Live105.
“Live105,” she said. “Is that classic rock?”
Um, no.
So much for that tack. I looked for another approach. She was in great shape, lean and strong, so I figured sports and activity might be my in. I asked if she was a gymnast.
She brightened. “I used to be! Now I run marathons.”
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
This time I had her, for sure. I’d run seven marathons in my day, before sore knees encouraged me to take up cycling. Turns out she’d run two, including Boston. That meant she’s fast, since you actually have to quality for Boston. She’d run the 26.2 miles in 3 hours and 12 minutes.
“Have you run Boston?” she asked.
“No,” I said. My marathon best was 3:29, and I needed a 3:15 to qualify. “Missed it by fourteen minutes.”
She raised her eyebrows, as if surprised I was slower than her. Whatever. Everyone’s different, and no two races are the same. That she was faster didn’t make me feel unmanly. But the conversation sputtered. She wasn’t giving me an inch, let alone opening up, and I resigned myself to having struck out.
As my buddy and I finished our last taste of wine, we chatted about the Tour de France. Cycling is one of my favorite sports. Turns out the pourer was just getting into cycling for triathlons. Wish I’d known that right off the bat. Oh well, We drained our glasses and left.
Outside, my buddy berated me for not getting her phone number.
“She deflected everything I tossed at her,” I said.
“You could have invited her cycling.”
Good point. But my flirtatious energy had been sapped, and I needed to gear up for another winery. After all, there were sure to be more singles at the next wine tasting bar.
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- Sexy and Funny Story – Wine Country Date
- Best Single Parent Family Vacations EVER
- Is the Dating Pool Really That Small?
- Meeting Women the Old Fashioned Way
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Comment by The Exception
| July 8th, 2008
Sounds like a book in the making – visit the different tasting rooms around the country (Virginia has a few) and see which are the best for meeting and such!
Comment by katherine.
| July 8th, 2008
wine tasting is a great place for singles to meet? here?
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| July 8th, 2008
As a single mom in the middle of a divorce that is going on 2.5 years, I LOVE dating vicariously through you! Thanks for the fun tour through the wine country.
If I were to read the wine pourer’s body language, it seems pretty clear to me she was probably already in a happy relationship. But I’m so glad you have the kahonas to approach an attractive woman! Your blog is a fun dating adventure. Cheers to you!
Comment by dadshouse
| July 8th, 2008
The Exception – I’ve done Virginia wineries. They’re fun!
Katherine – not Santa Cruz, but the Santa Cruz Mountains. Tons of wineries! And a lot of the visitors are local to the south bay.
Single Mom in NE – thanks! You’re probably right that she had a boyfriend. Maybe he was one of the other pourers. Ha.
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| July 8th, 2008
Or GIRLfriend, you never know! :)
Have you ever blogged about men dating women (or women dating men) who are separated, but not divorced?
Comment by dadshouse
| July 8th, 2008
Haven’t blogged that yet. When my wife and I decided to separate, it took 10 months before I moved out since we were worried how it would affect the kids. A few months after that I started dating, and nine months after moving out I met someone and fell into an LTR. My divorce wasn’t “final” for over a year after I moved out. It takes a while!
Comment by mama llama
| July 8th, 2008
I was reading, excited, eyes skipping lines, anxiously awaiting that clinched deal… no, not disappointed in the story as told, but rather in the end result for our protagonist.
I’ve never seen any single guys out wine tasting at the Virginia Wineries I’ve been to. Either I’ve been visiting the wrong wineries or VA just doesn’t have it.
Ah…Lost in Translation. One of my favorites…well, I suppose it has to be, since I LIVED it for 3 years! I could soooo relate to that movie it was scary.
Be well, Daddy-o. Have you had Malbec?
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| July 8th, 2008
Personally, I’m a bit freaked out by the semi-drunk single guys who leave the winery and get behind the wheel. Yikes. How does this work? I haven’t done a lot of wine tasting… but maybe you two cycled away after drinking? Hmmm.
Single Mom in New England: I’ve blogged about the “separated” crowd: http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2007/12/19/should-you-date-a-man-whos-not-divorced-yet/
P.S. They probably have strict rules that pourers can’t openly flirt with customers… maybe she was trying to keep the walls up to protect her job? (In other words, it wasn’t about you.)
Comment by Kevin (ReturnToManliness)
| July 8th, 2008
Agree with Single Mom Seeking. She was under a watchful eye and couldn’t get into it.
I need help with Napa Valley. The wife and I went there last year and we didn’t feel it. We love our wine and LOVE the idea of wine tasting. We visited one winery that we thought had the right vibe, but couldn’t get into any of the other ones. They all seemed quite snobbish. Where did we go wrong? Can anyone point us in the right direction of more info to make our next trip memorable?
Comment by dadshouse
| July 8th, 2008
SMS – no worries, we didn’t drink too much. We pace ourselves, eat, down a lot of water, hang out and chat, never rush off in the car. And the pours are rather quite small.
Kevin – Napa can indeed be a bit snobbish. There are some more down to earth places, like Clos du Val, but Sonoma might be more your style.
Comment by Lance
| July 8th, 2008
That’s funny, I was JUST thinking about doing the wine tasting thing in that part of the country.
Gaming hired guns is tough. Firstly, they’re on the clock and have to maintain a level of professionalism. Secondly, attractive hired guns are getting hit on all the time, like every single day, so they’re naturally on the defensive. You have to work fast, generate attraction, and figure out a way to hook while she’s working. Thirdly, you can’t create a dynamic that is socially weird at her workplace, in other words making her look weird in front of customers and co-workers.
What I try to do is find some kind of commonality and then offer value. If you take cycling as an example commonality, you can try saying that you know a lot of cycling groups or you know where all the good rides are (giving value). At the end of that interaction, provided you created attraction, you should be able to number/email/myspace close. I would have gone for a myspace close. Once you have the myspace, you can ascertain if she’s got a bf plus a ton of other info.
Comment by whatmenthink
| July 8th, 2008
Sonoma County is my hometown. The back roads from the Alexander Valley to the Napa Valley are great for driving, cycling, or taking a nice winery tour. Beautiful area. Living in LA is a hell hole compared to growing up in Windsor, CA.
Comment by Kat Wilder
| July 9th, 2008
DH, she probably gets hit on all the time, and I think many women get tired of that after awhile, figuring the guy’s just passing through.
That job requires that the pourer be personable but guarded against much more. And she’d probably get in trouble if she was spending too much time focusing on you and not selling the wine to all.
You’d have had more luck — maybe — with a fellow taster.
Comment by Deborah Smith
| July 9th, 2008
I just have the sudden urge to rent “Sideways” Yup, I agree with Kat. You’d have to expect that those girls get hit on all day long by buzzed guys. They have probably built up pretty thick skins to all advances.
Comment by Mothering Two
| July 9th, 2008
Oh my gosh, see, I’m so NOT flirtatious that I prolly would not even have known you were flirting with me. You are such a gentleman when you flirt! I lived in Chicago for 3 years and for some strange reason got hit on all the time there (but not so much in Florida), but the dudes were all like, “haaay. you got ah’ boyfriend?” I’d be like, “yeah, I do.” They, being the persistent city-folk they were would say, just to make sure, “you live with him?”
Ahhh! You are a nice guy, seriously, it would be a pleasure to be hit on the way you spoke of. You know, she probably gets hit on all the time so it goes in one ear and out the other.
Comment by Hot Alpha Female
| July 10th, 2008
You know i think that you did pretty good and you gave her heaps of chance to open up to you and clearly she didn’t.
Her loss not yours.
In regards to the outcome. Well there could have been a number of factors at play. Her personality. Her Mood. Her relaitonship status.
Some people you just click with and others just don’t get it.
She was one of those that just didn’t get it =)
Hot Alpha Female
http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com