Single Mom Seeking Shares a Child’s View on Dating and Partnership
David Mott is on vacation this week, but he left the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers. Today, Single Mom Seeking’s Rachel Sarah visits the kid’s room…
If my kid had it her way, I’d never have a boyfriend. I’d never go on another date.
My daughter was seven months old when her father walked out and I became a single mom. At that point, I thought my life was over. At age 28, I’d concluded that men were the antagonists.
Well, that didn’t last long. One year later — when my ex clearly wasn’t returning from his European adventure — I was back in the game.
Dating with a toddler was easy-peasy. But as Dad’s House knows, as you get savvier, so do your kids. Also, since it’s just the two of us, Mae and I have quite a super-glue bond.
The last time I went on a date, eight-year-old Mae wanted to know:
- “Where are you going?”
- “Who are you going with?”
I hope that she’ll be honest with me when she’s a teen, like David’s kids. So, I try to model openness.
Me: “I’m going to out for dinner with a friend.”
Mae: “Which friend?”
Me: “His name is Mark–”
Mae: “How do know him?”
You get the picture.
This year in school, Mae’s teacher led a whole course in poetry, and Mae’s favorite style was haiku. If she was going to write a haiku about our future, I think it would go like this:
Mom, don’t get married
Our family is perfect
Just the way it is
Still, I never imagined my life like this. I was sure that I’d be deep into a long-term relationship by now. I’m turning 36 this month (July). I probably won’t have any more kids. But will I ever have a real partner?
The longer I do this — single parenting — the easier it gets. While I haven’t given up finding some strapping, easygoing, here’s-a-love-note-in-your-pocket kind of man, I’m not sure if I want to add a man to our little duo. Maybe my kid is right. Maybe our little family is perfect.
Maybe I just want a man after dark.
Let’s hear from you…. Do see marriage in your future? Or, do you simply want someone after hours?
Rachel Sarah
http://www.singlemomseeking.com/blog
Author of Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World (2007, Seal Press/Avalon).
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