Hot for Teacher
At Back to School night this year I had my antenna up for any single moms or hot teachers who might come my way. I’ve been playing the game of life, after all, with great success. It had already brought me the woman of my dreams.
The school has seven period days, and parents visited each of their child’s classrooms in order. Teachers gave ten minute presentations, then we had five minutes to get to the next class. There were plenty of opportunities for random encounters, people to meet.
Then I walked into one class, and the teacher is a hottie! I could barely think straight. How old was she? Screw it, old enough. Was she married? She had a ring on, but it was silver and from where I sat it could have been something to ward off men in a bar. It definitely wasn’t two rings which would have signified engagement and marriage.
For ten minutes this hot teacher gave her presentation. How could I ask her out? I could try talking to her in between classes, and bust out one of my sweetest pick up lines, but there would be parents leaving the room and new parents coming in for the next period. The hot teacher and I wouldn’t be alone.
I wrote a note. You’re quite attractive. I’m divorced. If you’re single I’d like to buy you a drink. If I missed the mark, then I hope at least this brings a smile to your face.
When the bell rang and the mad shuffle between periods began, I went up and introduced myself. Damn, she was cute. I was hot for teacher, big time. “I wrote you a note,” I said. I felt like a high school kid trying to meet a girl he crushed on. “I probably shouldn’t give it to you. But here.” I handed it over.
Another parent walked up to introduce themselves to her. Thank goodness I’d written the note and wasn’t asking the hot teacher out right that moment.
She smiled. “Is it a note about my age? Because I’m older than you think.”
Oh, that was good. Because I’m too old to be asking some young hottie out. “No, just read it,” I said. “Whenever you like.”
I left the room, feeling good that I’d had the guts to follow through with this hot teacher. I don’t run into attractive single women that often, so I have to strike when the iron is hot.
One problem – soon after I got home, my kids informed me this particular teacher I was hot for had just gotten engaged.
Oops!
I sent the hottie teacher an email apologizing. Oh, well. I hope at least she takes the end of the note to heart and wears a smile all day long.
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Comment by Laura
| September 5th, 2008
I hate it when that happens! And the guys I tend to go for an generally spoken for but then suggest something anyway *sigh*
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| September 5th, 2008
I love that you sent the teacher a note! Takes me back to the days in class passing notes – “Will you be my girlfriend? Check yes or no.” Times were so much simpler then!
I’m sorry to hear she was engaged, but maybe the next hottie you hit on will be available, and responsive! Thanks for the fun story, TGIF!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 5th, 2008
I do think you jumped the gun with the note. After all, she wasn’t going anywhere! I get the idea of the note if you are not sure you will ever see that someone again, but this was a bit hasty. On the other hand, what woman would complain about a man handing her a note that tells her she is quite attractive? So I’m sure if she were available, it would not necessarily be a deal breaker. Personally, if you handed me a note like that, I would probably perceive you to be a little bit desperate and horny (first impressions). Although, I would admire your brave attempt at asking me out and would receive your message warmly, thinking it was cute. It would be a pleasant encounter, but it would make me less interested in you than if you had taken a little time to at least have a conversation with me before deciding I was desirable.
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Comment by The Exception
| September 5th, 2008
Great move, and I am sure that she was flattered.
Were I her though, I couldn’t go out with the parent of a child in my class. (Maybe I am just a bit too old fashioned!)
Here’s to a great weekend.
The Exception’s last blog post..Options
Comment by T
| September 5th, 2008
That is awesome! I love that you just GO FOR IT. You sound just like me. I have no problem telling a guy that I think he’s attractive. I think it takes some men aback, they don’t expect a girl to be giving the compliments. But I do it anyway. Its fun for me and I enjoy the shy responses I see afterwards.
Have a great weekend DH!
T’s last blog post..My Friend, My Love, My Soldier (part 5)
Comment by Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM)
| September 5th, 2008
You are awesome. I am so glad you followed through! And I know she smiled all day long.
Great story… now if I could just have some single dad encounters like that!
Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM)’s last blog post..To Keep or Not To Keep, That is the Question
Comment by Phil
| September 5th, 2008
Nice try… I don’t know the age of your kids, but do you worry about them reading your blog? (They learn how to ‘google’ at an early age these days) I know my own kids would be mortified if I dated one of their teachers!
Comment by mama llama
| September 5th, 2008
Damn…I never had anyone ever write *ME* a note like that when I was teaching…but I did get lots of apples!
That gave me a chuckle. You are one brave man…I am too shy to even make eye contact with anyone I feel is attractive, and I envy your (and T’s, for that matter) openness. Funny, as I am not shy by nature; it is simply the dating-chemistry aspect that has always intimidated me.
Be well.
mama llama’s last blog post..expectations and sacrifice
Comment by Lance
| September 5th, 2008
Bro, that’s not good game. Remember, always offer her a bit of value and try to find SOMETHING out about her to anchor and use as an excuse to hang out afterwards. Example: Did she look like an athlete? Ask her if she runs. Natural progession is to ask her to go running some time.
Doing that alleviates the social pressure of the moment. Also, there’s nothing wrong with slow playing a pickup if you know you’re going to bump into her again.
Ballsy though, I’ll give you that.
Comment by Holly Hoffman
| September 5th, 2008
I got a good chuckle out of that one. Any woman would be flattered. I agree with Lance here – you had all year to find out her deal & see her again. It could’ve been played a little more slowly, and even if she hadn’t been engaged, I think if I were her I might’ve felt the move was too fast, and thus you must be the kind of guy who moves fast, ie. not the kind of guy you want buying you drinks. That’s just IMO, though.
On a second meeting, it would’ve been a *great* move!
Holly Hoffman’s last blog post..Do We Love or Do We Emulate?
Comment by dadshouse
| September 5th, 2008
I realize it was hasty to rush a note like that. However, this is not elementary school. There wouldn’t be a ton of chances to bump into this teacher again. (And I was hot for teacher.)
Maybe my subconscious mind wanted me to get caught for passing notes, and have the hot teacher make me stay after class… haha.
Lance – great advice about adding value. In a bar pick-up situation, I do a better job of that – find out their interests, offer to take her for a run, hike, wine taste, sail, whatever. (Okay, hiking for a first date was poo-poo’d on this blog, but it actually does work if you meet someone in a bar and have that initial in-person conversation)
And if I’m hot for a teacher, I would have NO problem dating one of my kids’ teachers. I wouldn’t want my kids to know about it until the school year was over. As for them reading my blog – they are 12 and 16 and know it exists. They have no interest in reading it. They don’t want to know about my dating issues. Think back to your own high school days – if you’re like me and my friends, the thought of your parents having sex may have revolted you!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 5th, 2008
How the hell would you ensure that your kids wouldn’t know about it?
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Comment by dadshouse
| September 5th, 2008
Teri – do you mean my blog or dating a teacher?
They know about my blog. They choose not to read it. As for a hot teacher, I date women who never meet my kids. I’ve dated a few who have met my kids. It wouldn’t be hard to see someone without my kids knowing. If I’m hot for teacher, it seems worth going for it.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 5th, 2008
Of course I was referring to dating their teacher. You said, “I wouldn’t want my kids to know about it until the school year was over.” Why would I ask how you would keep your kids from knowing about something you just said they already know about??
It may be easy to date a woman without them knowing about it. But it would be hard to date a woman who is their teacher without them finding out about it. Don’t you ever watch sit-coms? It’s the classic keep-it-from-the-kids-but-it-turns-to-disaster story. :)
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Comment by Phil
| September 5th, 2008
I’m getting off topic, but it kind of sounds like wishful thinking when you say that your kids won’t read your blog. I have two kids who are a little bit older than yours and they both read my Facebook page – even though I purposely never put much on it.
Last year, one of my daughter’s classmates reeled off a bunch of MY marathon times to her. (I used to teach chess to her classmate, so I did know him.) Nothing on the internet is private!
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| September 5th, 2008
Well, you certainly GOT me with that blog post title. Whew.
I agree with Cathouse Teri here: how complicated! Dating your kid’s teacher? A big no-no, Dad’s House.
This is crossing way too many boundaries here. (I know you like to get your readers riled up. It worked on me.) If she’s a teacher at your kids’ school, fine… But if she’s actually your kid’s teacher? No way.
I think you’d need to let her have that role — educating your kid — without expecting her to get hot with you after grading your child’s essay…. No, no.
Single Mom Seeking’s last blog post..Single Dad Seeking…. advice about reconciling with his child’s mother
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| September 5th, 2008
Also off topic, re: Phil’s comment about your kids reading your blog.
I’d love to hear more about this one! I’ve tried to keep my blog hush-hush at my kids’ school, but I know that many parents at the school have read it.
This is why I wouldn’t dare date a male teacher there (not that there are many!)
Single Mom Seeking’s last blog post..Single Dad Seeking…. advice about reconciling with his child’s mother
Comment by dadshouse
| September 5th, 2008
I’m not trying to get anyone riled up. I’d have no problem dating a teacher in middle school or high school – my kids have 7 teachers each day. I would NOT date an elementary teacher of my kids, since she’d be with them all day.
And I wouldn’t blog about any hot teachers I date. In fact, I don’t blog about any relationships while I’m in them, out of respect to the other person.
Phil – how do they read your facebook page? Mine is private so only friends can read. Are your kids or their friends allowed access to your page somehow?
If my kids read my blog, I sort of don’t care. There’s nothing here that I’m ashamed of. There’s plenty of embarrassing moments, like being hot for a teacher and asking her out with a note on Back to School Night. But who doesn’t have embarrassing moments?
Comment by Phil
| September 5th, 2008
I am “friends” with my kids on Facebook. The main reason I have a Facebook page is so I can keep tabs on their pages. (My son tells his hundreds of Facebook friends about his relationship status long before he wants to bring it up at the dinner table!)
I don’t mean to suggest that you were doing anything wrong – if you are comfortable with anyone reading your blogs, that’s great! You are much braver than I am!
Comment by Me Thinks
| September 5th, 2008
DM, you’ve got a pair on you! Wow, bold move. I agree with Lance though and personally I might be a little creeped out by a note from someone I knew on a professional basis that asks for a date solely based on my appearance. If she’s a knock-out, she’s got guys hitting on her all the time and she wants to be valued for more than her looks. You need to have a conversation, however brief, and see if you can contact her later if you can’t ask her out then and there. Or maybe you could have stoppe by her room as soon as the last session was ending?
Now when it comes to dating a teacher, I see nothing wrong with it like you said, its 1/7th of your kid’s day. She should be professional enough to teach your kid without influence. And I can certainly vouch for dating people and your kids NEVER finding out. Easy enough to do.
On the other issue – I *LOVE* that you blog and don’t care who reads it! There are so many blogs out there that are all based in anonymity, I get the reasons why but its refreshing to see someone who is open and honest and doesn’t care who konws about it. Go on with your bad self!
Comment by Single Parent Dad
| September 5th, 2008
Fair play. And to me very brave, even if there is nothing wrong with asking people out, I’ve always found it very difficult and embarrassing.
I’m terrible at trying to work out if people are single, and if I ask questions to find out, it becomes too obvious, and they are always not single, which is even more cringeworthy.
Single Parent Dad’s last blog post..Tired And Un-Emotional
Comment by Sue
| September 6th, 2008
Hi,
I am a teacher and I would be flattered if one of the dad’s wrote me a note asking me out :) (but maybe not someone in my class). We are looking out for Hot Dads, too :)
Comment by love2read2
| September 6th, 2008
I’m a single mom and the older I get the less I care about what people will think. Just go for it! We have nothing to lose. And it’s very nice to hear all of these things from a man’s perspective. You have described to a tee some of the exact same things I have been through in dating or looking for intimacy. Right now my mindset is “I give up” but that will change. I have my up’s and down’s in that department. Sometimes I don’t care, other times I just want to get out and meet people. I’m hibernating right now. :)
Comment by Lia
| September 6th, 2008
Having been a teacher I can assure you that you shouldn’t ask any other teachers out at that school since they probably have all heard about this. You don’t want to be “that Dad.”
Also, having been a teacher I would have never dated one of my students parents while the kid was in my class. That has bad news written all over it.
Lia’s last blog post..Why Sarah Palin Bothers Me
Comment by Nette @ Smiling Mom
| September 7th, 2008
You had me in stitches on this post… passing a note in class. Very funny, and clever. I KNOW that teacher must have been flattered. :-)
Nette @ Smiling Mom’s last blog post..MOM why are you still here???
Comment by SingleParentDad
| September 8th, 2008
You’re definitely a braver man than I, but it’s probably a blessing that the note didn’t go any further than it did IMHO.
The teacher is there to educate our kids and I think we, as parents, need to keep that as the primary and only focus. I know as single parents it can be difficult to meet “hotties” but there’s some opportunities that should be passed on for the sake of our kids.
What if she was available and a relationship ensued, which subsequently went sour? We would all hope that under such circumstances everyone would maintain a level of professionalism but people are people. And even if it all went smoothly, what if the kids or their friends found out about the fact that a dad was dating the teacher? Would they all say “that’s great that your dad is dating the hot teacher”..or would they possibly be targets for some sort of childish ridicule or accusations of favoritism?
And I think I’d want a teacher for my son who knew, respected, and maintained these boundaries as a rule…
Comment by Clay Atlas
| September 8th, 2008
Speaking from a high school student’s perspective, I think it was kind of messed up of you to ask out one of your kid’s teachers. Fostering teacher bias is inappropriate and it just alienates the other students.
Clay Atlas’s last blog post..Day Seven – Monday
Comment by dadshouse
| September 8th, 2008
Clay and Single Parent Dad – I get what you’re saying. On the other hand, when I went to high school, one of the teachers knocked up a student. I’d rather teachers were dating parents than members of the Senior class. And as a single dad in the suburbs where there aren’t a lot of women, I pounce when I come across someone who might be available. Regardless of her career. If I’m hot for teacher, I’m hot for teacher.
Comment by Hip_M0M
| September 9th, 2008
I think there’s actually a policy for that kind of thing. I know at a previous school my son attended, the teachers (female, and my age) were very cool and I actually asked a few of them to go out for a girl’s night out type of thing.
Perhaps they thought I was hitting on them – now that I think about it – but they did mention that it was against school policy to “befriend” any of the students’ parents.
I assume this would be the case for this particular teacher as well, if she were single and available.
If you did date one of their teachers, as you mentioned, don’t you think it would difficult for both of you to keep it from them “until the the school year was over?”
I would think your children would be more upset about you trying to hide this from them than they would be embarrassed by the idea of it.
Just my two cents.
By the way, where did you go to high school? Doesn’t sound like a good situation there…
Hip_M0M’s last blog post..OnTray by 42 Kids
Comment by Treemama
| September 9th, 2008
Ha, I love this. Way to put it out there. I wish I had that much confidence!
Treemama’s last blog post..My Pick of the Week
Comment by Jimmy
| September 10th, 2008
I read a lot of your entries here. Looks like you have left few stone unturned-online dating, approaching strangers, salsa dancing, wine tasting, etc. and have not been ultimately successful. Almost like dating has been a full time job. How does that make us who spend a lot less time pursuing dates have any hope?
Comment by dadshouse
| September 10th, 2008
Jimmy – sorry! For privacy sake, I tend not to blog about relationship successes. And I have had some. Plus, I’ve been dating for years, so I have much to draw on when I tell stories. Some stories are recent (like this hot teacher one), others happened a while ago (like the salsa one). It’s not like I’m out there every night of the week.
Comment by Zeet
| November 10th, 2008
Just read this, and I had to respond. I am a single dad as well. I Have met my Daughters 2nd grade teacher twice now. Once at open house, and then I volunteerd to help out a couple weeks ago in her class. I ended up being there or a couple hours, hleping the children with pumpkins etc. I found myself attracted to her and got the feeling that it may be reciprocated. We email eachother almost every day, mostly regarding my daughters making it to school on time on the days her mother has her.
Here is my question. I am thinking about asking her out. She does not have a ring, and she goes by Miss.
I was thinking about simply stating, “hi, I hope I am not overstepping my bounds, but I was wondering if you would be interested in going out some time?”
Or should I not even bring up the overstepping bounds part?
[Ed. Note: this comment was turned into its own post with plenty of follow-up comments, How to Ask a Teacher Out]
Comment by Bill
| August 8th, 2009
I am married to a hot older 2nd grade teacher. Just a peek into our life on Back to School Night. First I help her pick out an edgy but appropriate suit. Maybe the skirt is a little too short and maybe an extra blouse button is open. Always over a push up bra and thong panties or just pantyhose. After she comes home, I hold her in bed, my hand stroking her while she tells me about the young fathers she met and what the chemistry was like between them. Then I use their names during a role play aexual fantasy with her. So you see it goes both ways!