Miley Cyrus Boyfriend Justin Gaston Too Old? Nah…
Miley Cyrus has a boyfriend: underwear model Justin Gaston. She’s fifteen, he’s twenty, and the tabloids are all a twitter. Her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, not only approves of the match, he introduced the two. (I assume Billy Ray wasn’t paid off by some agent to arrange this Justin Gaston match.)
Is she growing up too fast? Dating someone too old? Nah. This single dad thinks Miley is doing just fine.
My reaction might surprise some readers. After all, Miley Cyrus is only half a year younger than my daughter, and I’ve ranted on Miley before. I was disappointed with the Miley Cyrus sexy nude Vanity Fair photo shoot where she’s all wrapped up in satin sheets. And later, when I was getting comfortable with her image shift from good girl to sultry young woman, I came down on her hard for the Miley Cyrus Hannah Montana back-to-school gear targeted at young girls.
With a billion dollar franchise to Miley Cyrus’s name, who can begrudge her (or her people) for trying to take money from young kids and young adults, alike? (Um, me?)
But when I saw news that Miley Cyrus was dating this older Justin Gaston, I thought – she’s just like I was at that age!
Like Miley Cyrus, I was dating at fifteen, going out with someone older. My girlfriend had two years on me. In fact, I legally drove her to my first prom with a learner’s permit because she turned eighteen before the dance.
Granted, Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend Justin Gaston is older than any boy I’d want dating my daughter. But Miley Cyrus’s life is extremely different than most. She’s a child celebrity. She has already grown up fast.
Would she be better off with a boyfriend her age, like Nick Jonas, the Jonas Brother she used to date? Nah. Girls mature faster than boys, and Miley’s already been living sort of like an adult. Years are less an issue than the life stage two people are in. With all her wealth and success, Miley Cyrus needs an older boy who feels comfortable around her. A twenty year-old boyfriend like Justin Gaston seems about right for her.
So, Miley, I wish you the best of luck in your dating endeavors.
And any twenty-year-old boys like Justin Gaston eyeing my daughter can go away, now.
Note: Miley Cyrus Justin Gaston update from Yahoo OMG – she’s in the April 2009 Glamour, talking about her older boyfriend Justin Gaton. The pics posted on yahoo’s OMG are awesome, and age appropriate:
Miley Cyrus in a prom-like dress, wielding a guitar – Miley Glamour pic on yahoo OMG
Miley Cyrus cute smile, with her dog – Miley Glamour pic on yahoo OMG
Note: Miley Cyrus broke up with boyfriend Justin Gaston in June 2009
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Comment by Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM)
| September 24th, 2008
My first response was “Heck yeah, he’s too old!” But after reading your blog… my mind went back to when I was 16 and first allowed to date… my first date, you guessed it, He was 21! My mom said it was ok… older guy friends thought he was too old for me… and I didn’t listen to them… oh well… guess I need to remember my growing up years… But it’s tough when you are a parent and think about this with your own child!
Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM)’s last blog post..Less is More Weekend
Comment by debra
| September 24th, 2008
I agree completely, especially with “Miley’s boyfriend is older than any boy I’d want dating my daughter. But Miley Cyrus’s life is extremely different than most. She’s a child celebrity. She has already grown up fast.” She’s not like most 15 yr old girls, her life is far more complex, and she is probably much more mature, due simply to her life experiences as a celebrity. But here’s the issue I have; normal (non-celebrity) 15yr old girls are seeing this and thinking they should be dating a 20yr old guy. In the real world that’s a 10th grader dating a junior in college?! Is this Miley’s problem/responsibility? No, absolutely not. But I sure hope parents step in to help guide their teens to make good dating decisions.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 24th, 2008
I do not believe in encouraging a fifteen-year-old girl to have a boyfriend. No matter who she is.
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..This…
Comment by Kat Wilder
| September 24th, 2008
I have to agree with Cat on this one (which may surprise some of my more, um, vocal readers): Encouraging a boy/girlfriend? Why? ! 15-year-old with a 20-year-old? That could be problematic … as with the law .. should they consummate the relationship (even in the “blow job isn’t sex” mindset nowadays). A 5-year difference at that age is huge, albeit, as you say, she’s no ordinary teen. And she’s a “role model” (God help us).
Still … this would concern me more as a parent than having my daughter appear in a suggestive but beautifully photographed mag spread.
Kat Wilder’s last blog post..I have the Seal of Approval!
Comment by Phil
| September 24th, 2008
I’m right there with Kat. People can be marked as a pedophile for their entire life for having a relationship at those ages. Encourage it? Don’t think so.
Comment by The Exception
| September 24th, 2008
As the mother of a 8 year old girl going on 30, I am with Kat and Teri on this one. Friends, most definitely, but a relationship? Why?
But, if kids are going to be kids and a relationship is what they are going to do, then she is not exactly the average kid and the age spread isn’t such a big deal.
I can’t see encouraging it though – setting up a match.
The Exception’s last blog post..Does IQ Matter?
Comment by SingleCustodialDad
| September 24th, 2008
5 years is quite a large gap at that age. I think back to when I was 15/20 and it’s the difference between a boy and a man. And although I’m sure I hadn’t had the experiences of Miley Cyrus at 15, I had been through a lot at that age.
I do think “life stage” is a factor and girls mature faster than boys, but I also think the brain doesn’t fully get wired from a physical/neurological standpoint until a person is in their 20’s. There’s just a too wide of a gap in maturity to think such relationships are generally positive.
Being a father to a son, even if the situation was reversed and he was dating a 20 yr old woman at 15, I don’t think I would be high-fiving him.
Considering most former child celebs’ complaints that they weren’t allow to be children or were “forced” to grow up too fast, I don’ understand why her father would be encouraging this. Maybe it’s just a PR thing…
Comment by Laura
| September 24th, 2008
Miley Cyrus isnt like any of our kids though? She doesnt lead a normal every day life!
So while I may not be encouraging my child to do it I agree with DH on this one! I dont really see the issue!
As for her dad introducing them – rather the devil you know I reckon!
Laura’s last blog post..Its Heritage Day Today
Comment by T
| September 24th, 2008
When I was 15, I was dating a 22 year old.
I couldn’t go out with him without a friend or my little sister but we did go out. We didn’t go any further but we remain friends to this day.
Maybe it is a maturity thing. I get it. And yeah, I can see your point on her having to grow up fast. But can I also add that I’ve seen his ads and his b>abs and that boy is smokin’!! Go Miley!
Yeah, we’ll see what I think about that when my daughter is 15, right? I guess it depends on the boy. Well, if her dad introduced them, he must be a nice respectable guy.
:)
T’s last blog post..Time to buy an iPod
Comment by T
| September 24th, 2008
I do agree that we don’t have to encourage our girls that they have to be with someone… I couldn’t imagine that her dad encouraged her to have a relationship. I only remember wanting to be in a relationship. Why not choose someone that is a good person? Someone that you know and already trust? Someone that you could see treating your daughter with respect? Maybe her dad is being controlling in that way? Maybe too involved? I don’t know. Just a thought.
T’s last blog post..Time to buy an iPod
Comment by Lance
| September 24th, 2008
DM, well argued. I actually agree with you, although I don’t think they should have sex until she is of legal age…obviously, if they did, there’s a statutory rape issue. If they want to “date” and play at having a relationship, I would encourage that. Her at 15 is probably very equitable to him at 20 on the emotional quotient scale. They’re both celebs so their lifestyles are compatible. My guess is they won’t get married, but the relationship experience will serve them well.
I strongly disagree with Cathouse on this one. You want your kids to learn social skills and INCREASE their emotional/relationship intelligence, not suppress it. Discouraging teenagers from engaging in what is natural will stunt their e/r development. Remember, not everyone grows up at the same pace…some girls are “ready” at age 15, some not until 18, or 20, or later.
I think the naysayers are getting hung up on possible (ie probable) sexual relations. We’re fine with our daughters going to get ice cream and holding hands, but we’re not fine with them giving bj’s at age 15. Get over it. Sex happens.
Also, there are cultures all over the world where teenagers have sex and relationships at age 15 and it’s perfectly accepted.
I dated a 17-year-old (still in HS) when I was 22, no sex. Lamest thing I ever did.
Lance’s last blog post..Raffaella Fico: Yay! More Absurdly Expensive Virgins!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 24th, 2008
I should think that the fact that Miley is exposed to more than the average kid and doesn’t lead the normal every day life is all the more reason to be even more protective!
It is unfortunate that we live in a society wherein children are constantly pressed to find a “mate.” How many of us are guilty of asking our first grader, “Did you meet any cute boys in your class?” What the f^(k????
This is why I am quite averse to this idea of “matching.” I believe in teaching children to be their own person. Yes, natural hormones kick in. Society and the media and the music press them. But quite honestly, I would never encourage a teen at any age to get involved in a committed relationship. I do not think it emotionally healthy at all. Yes, they may have one in secret. In which case, you run into the same old problems you have with telling them they can’t watch R-rated movies, or have a drink, etc. They do it in secret. This is normal. But they don’t need their parents’ approval and encouragement and ASSISTANCE in doing so!
The world is full of interesting people to know. Teaching our young ones that finding “the one” is very detrimental to their social health.
Unfortunately, many of us are prime models standing before them on this issue.
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..This…
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| September 24th, 2008
Is Justin Gaston wearing a purity/promise ring?
I’m serious.
Single Mom Seeking’s last blog post..Dating, sex, and the single mom: Interview on Sirius Radio
Comment by Hadley
| September 24th, 2008
When I was 15 I had a 19 year old boyfriend. He was a senior in my high school. Not the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to academics, but a nice person and fun to be with all the same. I think maturity matters more than the ages. My dad was pleased when this particular boyfriend joined the military after graduation and was stationed far, far away.
It amuses me that you follow Miley celebrity gossip so closely!
Comment by loriann
| September 24th, 2008
DH, thanks so much for the smile :-)
Reading of your own personal experience reminded me of my high school sweetie, my first love, two years younger than I ~ who drove us to my prom, in his Mom’s cadillac, just days after receiving his license. Sweet memories.
We dated for a couple years steady and then another three off and on. I remember when we first started dating my Mom was upset because he was younger. I had dated guys my own age and older and they simply had one thing on their mind. My beau was so enamored with dating “an older woman” that he treated me really well and with respect.
Interesting post and comments. There are valid points to all. I’m thankful my own daughter is past the teen years.
Comment by jenn
| September 24th, 2008
When I was sixteen, I was dating a 21 year old. I also married a guy four years older than me (now ex). I’ve never dated a guy my age. It wasn’t on purpose, it just worked out that way. Teen boys are so immature (of course, now I think guys in their early twenties are too).
Now that I have a daughter, I know I wouldn’t want her dating someone that much older. Guess I’ll see what happens…
Comment by dadshouse
| September 24th, 2008
Great discussion. I agree with Lance that it’s better to encourage kids to try to have relationships in their teen years, even if it’s a puppy love crush. They need that interpersonal experience. They need to screw up when the stakes are low, learn from their mistakes, and evolve.
Pulitzer-Winner Laura Sessions Stepp, in her book Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, argues that part of the reason for today’s hook-up culture is that teens are so focused on studying and getting into good schools so that they can have good careers – that they don’t allow themselves (and their parents don’t encourage them) to enter into relationships where they could learn how to inter-relate.
SingleCustodialDad – you cracked me up with the high-fiving comment! That made my day. Thanks.
SingleMomSeeking – good point about the promise ring. I know the Jo-Bros wear them. Not sure about Mr. Underwear Abs.
Hadley – I blog about Miley Cyrus because she is my daughter’s age, and my daughter used to be a big Hannah Montana fan. Miley Cyrus provides us a talking point. My daughter thinks it’s weird, btw, that Miley would date a boy so much older. But she “gets” that Miley’s life is different. My daughter thinks high school kids should date high school kids, and once a senior graduates and goes to college, they should date other college students.
btw – I will be unveiling a new Dad’s House brand of boxer brief any day now…
Comment by Mad Cartoonist
| September 24th, 2008
Dating at 15 yo? No way! And a 15 yo dating a 20 yo? Double no way. That 5 year difference is enormous at that age. Yes, girls mature earlier than boys, but not that much earlier!
I don’t buy the argument that Miley’s “different” just because she’s on TV etc. Different, how so? She’s still an immature early teen, not “legal”, and not even able to drive. If she’s different at all, it’s probably because she’s less clued-in than your average teen, having been denied growing up within a normal social context.
Her Dad’s “encouragement” of this relationship is just….creepy. Why can’t Miley date someone she finds on her own? Why can’t her Dad butt out of her romantic life?
Just, ick.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 24th, 2008
I would like to just quickly point out that I have three children, all in their twenties. I don’t believe that any of them feel like they were suppressed in their emotional/relationship intelligence while under my tutelage.
In short, I am on the other side of raising teenagers, and have nearly thirty years on Lance in experience with raising children.
Still, I’ll be the first to admit that anything I did right as a parent was probably by accident. Yet, I’m happy to share those lessons I learned with any here who care to listen with open minds.
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Across the Universe
Comment by Real Parent
| September 24th, 2008
Maybe this is WHY kid celebrities end up the way they do. What sane parent would think its okay for their 15yr old daughter to be dating a 20yr old man?? And apparently her parents not only approve they are encouraging it. And the world will be shocked and shaken when she ends up pregnant at 17 like Jamie Spears yet the relationship is being allowed to continue. Billy Rae Cyrus needs some psychiatric attention if he thinks introducing his 15yr old daughter to a 20yr old underware model is cool. My 15yr olds father would KILL a 20yr old that tried to date her and he certainly wouldnt encourage it. What ever happened to actually parenting your children???
Comment by Phil
| September 24th, 2008
I’ve got two more comments -
I think everyone here who thinks it’s okay for a 20-year-old to date a 15-year-old is basing it on their own experience as a teenager (and they are always the cool younger one…who was dating someone who couldn’t get a date from his/her own pool of peers). No one seems to think it’s alright for their own teenager to do it. DH seems to have it both ways…
Don’t forget that Miley Cyrus is a brand, not a normal teenage girl. Every time she is in the press, it is a designed event to promote her products. I seriously doubt if she is ‘dating’ this guy or the Jonas Bros. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that they all have CDs and TV shows whose sales go up when they are ‘caught’ dating… Don’t believe everything read… and in the gossip pages, don’t believe anything.
Comment by Phil
| September 24th, 2008
DH – I agree. I have a daughter who’s a sophomore and wouldn’t have any problems if she dated a junior or senior. If it lasted, and the guy graduated while she was still in HS…I wouldn’t try to break them up, but it would be more appropriate for them to expand their horizons.
However – anyone (guys especially to be sexist here) who is out of high school and then goes back to get a date, has serious issues. I can understand why a 16-year-old girl would think it’s really cool to date an older guy, but it’s wrong for so many reasons … those are dog years!
Comment by dadshouse
| September 24th, 2008
Phil – it probably does seem like I have it both ways. I suppose I’m walking a fine line… I dated someone older, but she wasn’t 20. We were just over two years apart. My daughter is a junior, and I’d be fine if she dated a senior right now. If the way their birthdays fell made them 2 years apart, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. (That’s similar to my teen dating life)
I wouldn’t be okay with my daughter dating a 20 year old. For Miley Cyrus? Her life is crazy enough. It doesn’t bug. Though I admit some readers made a good point that she probably needs “normalcy” imposed on her, for her own sake.
I agree that Miley’s “relationship” might be contrived for PR purposes. That’s why I slipped in the parenthetical about Billy Ray Cyrus getting paid to set this one up. This has got to be good for Justin Gaston’s career, especially after he and Miley Cyrus “break up”. He’ll be the next heart throb, for sure.
Comment by dadshouse
| September 24th, 2008
Phil – I totally agree this underwear model is being a dog to go back and date a high school aged girl!
Teri – you rock! I love your wisdom. I don’t always agree with you, but that makes it more fun. In fact, sometimes when I think you’ll agree, you surprise me and disagree. Or vice versa. You regularly give us great insights into relationships and dating. Dad’s House loves the Cathouse! (Oh, that sounded wrong…)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 24th, 2008
Sounded good to me! hee hee
I must admit, I had to laugh at Phil’s phrasing ~ “I wouldn’t try to break them up.”
All of this aside, there really is no way to break up kids that are determined to be together. And in that, there is nothing new under the sun.
I would definitely not encourage such relationships, as I mentioned. But I also firmly believe that if you haven’t taught your children to have strength of character by the time they are fifteen, it’s too late. What kids are looking for now (in the teens) is trust. This is too hard a subject to make hard and fast rules about. Much depends on the people involved and the situation.
In the end, though, it’s important to give them enough rein to test the waters, yet enough boundaries to know that you love them.
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Across the Universe
Comment by Vinomom
| September 24th, 2008
I hate when I come in so late on your Posts, DM, I feel so behind. I might be blinded by Billy Ray’s down to earth character on Hannah Montana (which w/ an 8 year old I watch quite a bit of, and admittedly enjoy at times) but from what I’ve heard/read I think he keeps a pretty close eye on Miley (working w/ her doesn’t hurt I’m sure) If he approves of it, I’m sure theres a reason, and chances are, he knows his daughter a lot better than we do.
I didn’t like those icky Vanity Fair pics either, I was disappointed, but still, I find that Country Stars tend to lead much more regular lives than the rest of the Hollywood crowd. I know Miley is more part of the Pop Culture, but hopefully dad is keeping some of those home grown values in her.
As to the question of a 15 year old girl dating…I think you are all kidding yourselves. You might not want to encourage it, but it’s all they are thinking of, without question!
Comment by juliane
| September 29th, 2008
‘I love Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston”!!! perfect boy and girl…. kiss!
Comment by Jane
| October 7th, 2008
how can you not see the issue, just because she is a star does not mean that she is more mature or grwon up than any other 15 yr old girl. why do ppl all of a sudden think that because someone is famous that they are totally differnt human to anyone else, they still have to mature and grow as an individual like any other. Personally i think she would be less mature as everything has been done for her. I would think that a person who has actually gone through harships and struggles and has overcome these are the people that are the mature ones who really develop in chracter, and also one could say that a person who leads an ordinary life is a person who would be bal eto deal with lifes problems more efficiently than someone who is submerged in superficiality. Aswell as that, what kind of realtionship can a 15 yr old girl have anyway….shes 15 for crying out loud, what is she going to out for some romantic dinners ect ect.
Comment by Kira
| October 20th, 2008
I thought it was against the law for a male adult to date or do anything with an underaged girl
Comment by Jamie
| October 21st, 2008
I am really shocked at the comments particularly because i thought america’s main age for consent of sex was 18 and in england it’s 16 and i am still really disgusted by this relationship!! I am 21 myself so only a a year and a half older than this guy and eww… just thinking about being with a 15 year old makes me sick! My brother in law is 15 and his like a kid… a baby to me… I’ve looked after him over night for gods sake! it’s ridiculous! My cousin who i am close to is 15 and i would be horrified if she brought home a 20 year old MAN, not so much horrified at her as i remember being 15 and i would think its cool to date a older guy but i’d be horrified that a man was going after her!! Soo wrong.. and yes he will be labelled for life, it’s a well known fact that most peado’s are aged between 19 – 24 not old guys in raincoats like most people think.
Comment by leevona
| October 26th, 2008
justin is hot! and miley is happy thats all that really matters,and one of mileys biggest fans so i wont stop keep believing in her! not even if she ends up like britney and lindsay
Comment by an observer
| October 31st, 2008
I don’t know. I think it depends, as in any domain, where you come from and what your values are. The reason age is such a big deal in most western societies is more about money, than it is about actually “protecting” the children. By nailing pedophiles, the counties and government get more money from the legal fees, etc.
I lived in New York, and now I live in Florida, in both states, from my experience, the a.o.c. isn’t really strictly enforced. As much as christian or traditional parents would frown upon a relationship like miley’s, just as many parents really wouldn’t care, as long as they trusted the guy. It’s a pretty subjective topic, as the main reason people think a 15 year old is too immature for an adult, is either from personal experience, which is more than half of the comments i have read, or because they were brought up to think in traditional or fundamental ways. Whatever your reasoning against this relationship, it’s still an opinion, no matter how many caps or exclamation marks you use. But I will leave you with this question..If this relationship was the other way around, miley was 20 and justin was 15, would there be as much outrage, especially from you females on this board? Just a thought.
Comment by Sarah
| November 25th, 2008
As weird as I think it is that a 15 year old girl is dating a 20 year old, I can’t really talk. At 19, I was dating a 31 year old. (Four years later, we’re still together!) Not only that but he lived on the opposite side of the country so I was going off on my own to visit him. And I’m not a superstar or a celebrity. I grew up living a normal life, going to public schools and all that stuff. However, I wouldn’t say I was the maturity level of a 31 year old. More like he was the maturity level of maybe a 22 year old. So we matched pretty well. However, my parents hated it and the fact that he was a musician didn’t help. I guess I’ll have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she is more mature than we’re expecting from a 15 year old. It’s still difficult to think of my young niece looking at all of this.
Comment by donna
| February 11th, 2009
15-yr-old with this 20-yr-old guy? NO WAY.
Comment by dadshouse
| April 1st, 2009
Miley Cyrus Justin Gaston update from Yahoo OMG – she’s in this month’s Glamour, talking about her older boyfriend. The pics posted on yahoo’s OMG are awesome, and age appropriate!
Miley Cyrus in a prom-like dress, wielding a guitar – Miley Glamour pic on yahoo OMG
Miley Cyrus cute smile, with her dog – Miley Glamour pic on yahoo OMG
Comment by Maria
| November 2nd, 2009
I think he is not too old. I mean, i have heard of couples where he is 40 and she is 30. In this case they are only 4 years apart, I dont think that’s strange, as long as he doesnt make her do ’stuff’, just cause he’s old enough.