However, sometimes people THINK they aren’t expecting anything, but they are hoarding some secret desires. These are so secret that they often don’t even know they are there!

This is definitely a way to find out the reality of your heart’s true secrets.

Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

I developed a relationship via e-mail and telephone a long time back. Everything was there, the friendship and intimacy developed, and when it came to meeting, I was scared to death that I would not live up to the expectations this man had – how could the real me compete with the me of his imagination (and no pictures don’t keep that from happening). From the other side, talking to someone and getting to know them, we see the good, the fun, the energy and investment. We see all the wonderful things we want to see without the physical distractions (good and bad). It is easy to fall into expectations.

We met and it was fine. Fortunately, we were friends above and beyond everything else, neither of us were looking for commitment and marriage, and each was very willing to accept the other and the situation at that moment realizing that neither were seeking potential mates. It is difficult to remove expectation from any situation – because we want to marry, we want it to work, we want to connect, we want whatever it is we want – we want to stop looking.

The Exception’s last blog post..Hunters and Gatherers (Caution: Generalities in Use)

There is one important aspect to the online dating scene that I would like to comment on here. I have found that when you “meet” someone and begin forming attachments, before having really met, it takes on an ethereal quality. As soon as you meet, that etherealness disappears. Instantly. If you have developed your “relationship” at length, this is a more crucial moment than if you meet very soon after making initial contact.

Now, whether the coupling is able to evolve past this step very much depends on how much your heart and mind have been depending on that etherial quality. And we very rarely know that about ourselves until we are in the actual situation. We definitaly don’t know that level about someone else.

Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

In that case, each has to be completely open and honest with themselves and then with a potential whatever.

In this light, I would tend to think that each person who desires marriage goes into a “meeting” with the idea that there is a potential future here – and I don’t mean as a friend. The expectation might not be that marriage or sex is going to happen tomorrow, but if marriage is the intent/goal, then the interview begins with that first face-to-face if not before.

Granted – most of this is based on what I have heard from female friends in their 30’s. Perhaps men are different? perhaps it is singular in nature? And perhaps we can “meet” a person without considering them as a potential mate despite our ultimate objective. It seems that anyone is potential until she/he is placed in their proper bucket! ;)

As Teri noted above – she ensured over an dover again that the men she found were NOT interested in marriage because she wasn’t. It is that compatibility of which you wrote earlier. Would you (general you here) consider putting a great deal into someone that wasn’t potential marriage material if she wasn’t “there” with you? Or if you want to get married, would you put all the work and invest the time (general you again) in fostering a relationship with a person who didn’t – regardless of how attracted the individuals were to one another?

Exception’s last blog post..Petits Mort

I’m just barely under 6′ tall and I have no problem with women my height. If it wasn’t for heels I’d even be ok with 6′1″. My girlfriend is shorter than me though.

It would be cool if you could hear voices online but then you’d be forced to make a cheesy recording and I don’t know anyone that likes to see themselves in video.

SDMktg’s last blog post..NFL Week 3 Tailgating Menu – Tri Tip Sandwiches with Grilled Onions and Peppers

I am sure the fact that you have kids makes it more challenging. I enjoy your blog as well as Kat’s because it gives me a lot of insight when dating fathers and where the ex-wives are coming from. Very insightful.

Exception-I am almost 5′9′ and have no problem dating a man an inch shorter than me…as long as they are HONEST. A few years ago I went on a date with a man who said he was 5′8” and must have been 5′5″. Like I was not going to figure that one out. Nice guy, but no connection (and it had nothing to do with his height). But he should have been truthful. I am on my profile (yes rare, but the truth comes out eventually).

In general, I look at the photo and if they look pleasant I check out their profile to see if they may be someone that could be interesting and where I could have a connection by meeting them face-to-face. So far, I have met some nice men. You just never know.

Either way, it has been an interesting journey.