Free-Range Kids
You’ve heard of helicopter parents – those moms and dads who hover over their child’s every move.
The opposite? A parent with free-range kids.
Um, can you guess which one am I? Don’t think too hard!
My kids’ schedules are so friggin’ complicated, if I was a helicopter parent I would implode.
Check this:
- Monday and Tuesday morning – daughter starts school at 8:05am, son at 8:06.
- Monday afternoon – son has cross-country right after school. Daughter has soccer at 4:45. Son has jazz band at 5pm.
- Wednesday morning – late start! Daughter begins school day at 8:50am, son at 9am.
- Wednesday afternoon – 4:45 soccer for daughter, 4pm cross country meet for son, then 7:30 scouts.
- Thursday morning – free period for daughter! School starts at 9:45am. Son starts at 8:06.
- Friday morning – same as Monday. I think.
- Weekends vary – soccer, lacrosse, camping, dances, hanging out with friends…
Except for one thing – this week, my daughter has a Wednesday school schedule on Tuesday so that they can take the PSAT on Wednesday, which is then a minimum day. And my son just ended cross country but is about to start wrestling, so who knows what his afternoon is like?
Thank goodness they both have alarm clocks, bikes, (car keys for my daughter), and cell phones.
I’m a master at texting: where r u?
My kids were gracious enough to help me out with the details of this post. I’ve already forgotten…
- Sexy Miley Cyrus Pics and Back-to-School Gear
- Investment Advice from a Sixth Grader
- Um, Good Morning, America?
- Dirty Text Message Jokes
- I Can’t BS My Kids Anymore
- Prank Phone Call
- Father and Daughter Hit the Pump
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Comment by lisaq
| October 14th, 2008
Haha…once again I just have to say that, as much as I miss my girls, I don’t miss those days at all! :D
Comment by Laura
| October 14th, 2008
HECTIC STUFF!!
I cant quiet grasp the idea of schools starting at different times. Our schools start at 7h45 – throught out the entire country. The private schools may start at 8h00 I think!
But it never changes – its a standard time every day!
Even the times the finish remains constant except when writing exams but the its like only a week that is earlier!
Laura’s last blog post..Squirting Orgasms
Comment by Kat Wilder
| October 14th, 2008
That’s why I keep The Kid in lock-down mode when he gets home; too much trouble …
Just kidding. That’s where having one kid (and two involved parents) is helpful. We’ve also limited his activities — one sport or group a semester. (although a broke the rule when he wanted to learn guitar; I’ll do anything to promote music!) And he can walk/bike to school and sports fields, which is enormously helpful.
I think we had free-range childhoods. I took the bus or my bike to get around, and I only remember my mom having to drive me to ballet for a few years.
When do kids nowadays chill and feel bored, which I believe opens up one’s wonderful creativity and imagination? I fear we’re raising automatons!
Kat Wilder’s last blog post..The good wife?
Comment by debra
| October 14th, 2008
The changes in start time from day to day would wreak havoc on my work schedule…how do parents with less flexible work hours make that work? What is the theory behind that arrangement? Cost savings of some sort?
Comment by The Exception
| October 14th, 2008
Here we have half day Mondays in the elementary grades which is tough on working parents. I can’t imagine what the changing start times would do to schedules.
My kid has time to be bored (and she lets me hear about it)!! With her ballet schedule and homework there just isn’t much time for anything else. I like her to have the creative time/time to be bored!! She has friends that run from activity to activity -requiring the parents to run constantly throughout the week. I have no idea when there is family time or down time for either the kids or the parents!
The Exception’s last blog post..Busy Enjoying the Moments
Comment by Mad Cartoonist
| October 14th, 2008
My kids’ schedules are also crazy! But it would sure help if my local school district would at the very least schedule the school to start and stop at the same time each day. Since these are kids in grades K-5, most of them need childcare when not in school. But most daycares aren’t that flexible! So parents are stuck having to take time off work to accommodate the school schedule.
My kids’ elementary school sometimes starts at 9:05 am, but on other days 11:05 am. The end of the school day also changes depending on random teacher training demands–kids usually get out at 3:35 pm but sometimes instead they tell us they’ll finish the day at 1:15! (of course this still counts as a “full day” of education according to the lax state rules).
All thanks to the local teacher’s union! Jerks.
Comment by mama llama
| October 14th, 2008
We spoke of this topic before, Dads. Nice to see this post. Even though I have little ones, the idea that Mommy isn’t always around but that they shouldn’t compromise on behavior is already well-instilled, for which I am grateful. They are becoming strong, independent young people who can stand up for themselves and not have me fighting their battles or always praising every little move. They need to be self-sufficient…and I am always available for hugs, cuddles, kisses and talks/listening. I hope that will take us far as they get older.
Plus, llamas are free-range by nature. Why fight it?!
Be well, Dads.
Comment by Sharon
| October 14th, 2008
Funny. My husband commutes to NY and each night we find ourselves saying, ok who’s doing the daycare drop off, who’s doing school drop off? Would be great if school would start a little earlier here on the East coast. I love the 8:06 start time!
Comment by KD @ A Bit Squirrelly
| October 14th, 2008
I have one in Kindergarten and they both take swimming and that seems like a crapload. I am not looking forward to them getting older, now for the reasons you mentioned! UGG
KD @ A Bit Squirrelly’s last blog post..Kick Ass, But Don’t Forget Your Tutu
Comment by T
| October 14th, 2008
Oh my! That makes me so tired…
I try to keep my two down to one activity per semester too. Thankfully, the preschool that my little one attends has extra activities that are included in their day. So she takes ballet as part of her day instead of me running her around somewhere.
I guess this schedule is a sign of things to come, eh?
Whew!
T’s last blog post..Three
Comment by Sturatt
| October 14th, 2008
I think a free range parent is one that, for whatever reason, does not take a vested interest in their children at all. These children do not get support in their chosen activities, No Jazz band, lacrosse, soccer, scouts, cross country, dances, etc…..I’m striving for the middle ground, not hovering and not total free range. There are also Doctor, Dentist, Othodondist, Optomitrist, teacher conferences, etc….appointments to keep track of. Thank god for PDA’s to keep track of everything. You are fortunate in that you get a break every other week to catch up, rest and regroup.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| October 14th, 2008
I like that freerange.com page. Very interesting. The subway thing was scary, but I can see her point. He was a little young, in my opinion, but as Dr. Phil points out, it really depends on the kid.
I do feel very strongly that we over-busy our children. The idea of limiting the number of activities they are allowed to be involved with is important. It’s important for a couple of reasons. Because time to rest is very healthful. In every way. We are in a society that is not really into resting. I don’t mean getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I’m talking about RESTING. Being at rest. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally. Not to mention the value of just doing nothing. Very much a lost art.
The other factor is that a family is a unit. It’s not just one person here and one person there, etc. There must be an understanding of how what one person is doing, good or bad, affects the whole. This is also something that is very much lacking in our society. We make do. We cling to the little pieces of the bond we have. But it really is inferior to the bond we need.
Things that matter are falling far along the wayside. Trouble is, we don’t really realize this until we’re standing there one day with one song going over and over in our heads ~ The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon… little boy blue and the man in the moon…
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..I’m Just Wild About Harry
Comment by Katherine (SOLO dot MOM)
| October 14th, 2008
I think I just got a headache reading this. Do you know where your children are? lol
Katherine (SOLO dot MOM)’s last blog post..ER-Log #2 Her Hero
Comment by dadshouse
| October 14th, 2008
I agree there needs to be balance between free-range freedom and helicopter involvement. I attend soccer matches, lacrosse games, band concerts. But other things I let the kids do on their own, like camping with the scouts, or running track (I go to some meets, but not all)
The fine art of doing nothing – I happen to be an expert! Teri is right, there needs to be down time to let the mind and spirit and emotions be calm. My son is great at dealing with boredom – he busies himself with creative processes, usually building something. He’s like MacGiver. My daughter likes to keep herself busy. I have some boredom teaching to do with her!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| October 14th, 2008
That is the tuff part, isn’t it Dads? Your son is a natural at rest and boredom and the creative process. Your daughter tends more toward overbusiness. The trick is helping them strengthen their weaknesses, which sometimes means weakening their strengths! Thereby helping them maintain their individuality while aiding them in facing the challenges they will face that don’t involve their natural tendencies.
And it’s never over.
The thing I’m most happy about, is that they also do this with me! Learners are teachers and teachers are learners.
The circle of life. :)
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..I’m Just Wild About Harry
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| October 14th, 2008
Can I just add what a great dad you are?
Single Mom Seeking’s last blog post..It’s time to ask a man out
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| October 14th, 2008
No doubt… a good dad he is.
A toast!
The life of a child is nothing short of chancy.
But many there are who struggle alone.
Amen for the dads who stay near, sans romancy.
Who tend to the starlings until they have flown!
Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..I’m Just Wild About Harry
Comment by Cheery-Wise
| October 14th, 2008
Well said, Cat! Fantastic insight.
Comment by justrun
| October 14th, 2008
Um, my head started hurting at 8:05 and 8:06. I bow down to good parents.
Comment by Vinomom
| October 15th, 2008
Great Post – I’ll have to read the rest of the comments when I have time. That example schedule makes me believe that parenting more than one would do me in.
My daughter goes to “after school care” which is conveniently located in the cafeteria of her elementary school. Honest to god, I have no idea when school actually ends. Somewhere between 2 and 3 I guess.
But I do know when After school closes! 6 pm, cuz it’s a dollar per minute after that!
Vinomom´s last blog post..It’s Official – I’m Old
Comment by Single Mom
| October 16th, 2008
Same thing here- with just one child. I am still trying to determine when my 12 year old’s social calendar got more filled than mine !
Single Mom´s last blog post..Yeah !!! hit the $550 in extra money !!