Getting Grounded Again
We all go through stretches where we feel a little flat. Parents might fall into a rut where they spend too much time taking care of the kids and working to provide, and not enough time caring for themselves and connecting with others.
When I realized my mojo was gone, I took a few simple steps to re-establish balance in my life and get grounded. In no time flat, I picked myself up and started feeling good again.
Friends – I realized I hadn’t eaten a meal with another adult in several weeks. How is that possible?! Well, I work from home, I have my kids half-time, and the rest of the time I was busy working my ass off. Partly to meet deadlines, but partly to distract myself from the fact that I wasn’t eating meals with adults. (Does that make sense?)
I wasn’t totally devoid of adult conversation – I chat with neighbors, bloggers, soccer parents on my daughter’s team, the cute cashier at Peet’s. But I needed to carve out quality time with other adults in real life venues without my kids.
With a few emails and phone calls to a handful of female friends and buddies, I set up a coffee date, a lunch date, a night out for dinner and drinks. Soon, I had resurrected some semblance of an adult social life.
Exercise and Massage – I tend to exercise a lot – cycling, running, playing soccer. But with the weather change, and me working my ass off, I wasn’t getting my regular workouts in. My muscles stiffened up, especially my shoulders, back, and neck. Pretty soon the pain spread to other parts of my body.
I tried to get back to a regular running and cycling routine, but the real cure was to go and get a deep-tissue massage. Not only did it work the tension out of my muscles, but it felt good to be touched and nurtured by another person. If you haven’t had a massage in a while, give yourself a treat and book one today. If price is an issue, have your kids walk on your back. (My kids have been doing that for me for years. It’s great!)
Getting the toxic build-up out of my muscles made a huge difference to my mood.
Cooking – putting dinner on the table every night can be stressful if you’re pressed for time. And with the economic downturn, my family isn’t eating out as much as we’d like. But on the weekend I took the time to prepare some leisurely meals. My son and I made chicken and dumplings one night – totally healthy, and with all the chopping, it was fun to cook together. (I’ll post a recipe soon). Sunday, I made pulled pork. It took five hours! Once it was on the stove, it wasn’t that much work. And it filled the house with this great aroma. Home cooking can be a total stress buster.
Sex – let me just say, my mojo thinks sex is a very good thing…. And sex for a single parent can get complicated. Stay tuned.
Now, if only I could figure out how to get my friends to cook me dinner while I exercise in bed… oh, never mind.
- Single Parent, Empty House, Full Life
- Physical Intimacy
- Men Who Read and Cook – Sexy or Unmanly?
- Secrets to Single Parent Success
- Sex, God and a Well Hung Prana – Ken Wilber
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Comment by Exception
| November 3rd, 2008
These are all wonderful ideas to get yourself back into your groove!! It is easy to get wrapped in life and forget about taking care of ourselves!
Great job. It sounds as if you feel like a million dollar man!
Exception´s last blog post..Witchy Woman
Comment by lisaq
| November 3rd, 2008
Great tips that I myself need to follow. My social life has been zero the last few weeks and a massage sounds absolutely fabulous! Now, if I could just get someone to cook for me, life would be beyond wonderful! :D
lisaq´s last blog post..Weekly Roundup-Week of November 3
Comment by Laura
| November 3rd, 2008
Very wise words!!
I find if I dont get down time with big people and keep up gym I do definately tend to get very very flat!!
I can do without the cooking though ;)
Laura´s last blog post..100 Things About Me
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| November 3rd, 2008
I ask my kid to walk on my back a lot… just no jumping!
Thanks for the inspiration.
Single Mom Seeking´s last blog post..What does it really mean to be intimate?
Comment by T
| November 3rd, 2008
Yes, definitely exercise and massage. And ME time! It felt good to me to get out and get things done this weekend too.
Glad you’re feeling a bit better.
T´s last blog post..In their eyes
Comment by Vinomom
| November 3rd, 2008
I think those are all really great, simple ideas to become grounded again. Especially the part about making dinner/coffee/lunch dates. Everyone can carve out a half hour out of their week to meet for lunch!
Vinomom´s last blog post..All Ideas, No Words
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| November 3rd, 2008
You were definitely in a serious slump! I’m glad ya found your way out of it. Good reminders. Everyone has those times where we forget to be livin’ life!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Baby, It’s Cold Outside!
Comment by Honey
| November 3rd, 2008
haha, because this is a parenting blog I thought that “getting grounded” would be an article about something horrible one of your kids had done. Guess not! But glad you are feeling better…
Honey´s last blog post..Help! My BF Won’t Use a Condom!
Comment by Rich
| November 3rd, 2008
I feel myself falling into that very rut. I haven’t had contact with any friends in a month and a half.. And although I don’t work from home, I definitley spend too much time working!! Thanks for the eye opener
Rich´s last blog post..Now that made me laugh!!
Comment by Leah
| November 3rd, 2008
Haha – that last line is so great! I think it’s really cool that you refuse to let the mojo slump gather steam. It’s a good reminder that we have to take responsibility for our own well-being and that there are concrete things we can do to shift our mood. I think you got it just right: grounding is at its essence about “getting back” into the body and spending a little less time up in the head.
Leah´s last blog post..I’ve been viewed 973 times.
Comment by jeanie
| November 3rd, 2008
It does become so easy to not step outside the front door sometimes, doesn’t it?
Working from home does have massive advantages (think of the fuel savings!) but one of the biggest downsides is the lack of grown ups entering your physical presence.
Okay – just deleted my very long comment to work it into a blog post!!
Thanks for stepping out of your front door and coming by my blog!
jeanie´s last blog post..When you next hear me say
Comment by Sam
| November 3rd, 2008
cook -> eat -> massage -> sex = Great Weekend.
Comment by Sugee
| November 7th, 2008
Yeah, don’t forget to post the chicken and dumplings one soon. Will look for it! :)
Sugee´s last blog post..HELL YEAH!!