Hamburger Meat Recipes of the Relationship Kind
Why hold out for steak when you can have hamburger every night? After all, there are tons of hamburger meat recipes. You can make tacos, lasagna, sloppy joes, grilled burgers, meatballs, casseroles, enchiladas, for starts.
So what’s the big deal with steak?
Of course, this being Dad’s House I’m not really talking meat. My post about the hot bus girl got some serious comments from women saying I was selling myself short for hamburger when I could be holding out for steak. After all, the bus girl was much younger, and in a service industry job. To which I wonder:
1) how does anyone know that the bus girl wasn’t a quality woman, doing whatever it took to stay afloat in today’s economy?
2) what if she was a single mom, at my same life stage, raising kids with hopes of sending them to college, wanting a stable home environment?
3) and what if none of that’s true, and she was simply too young, too single, with too much bling on her mind for me – would it be a crime if she and I hit if off to have some fun? Older men and younger women enjoy sexy relationships all the time.
I may profess to be looking for someone at my same life stage. But I’m also human. I need physical and emotional intimacy. Companionship and feminine energy. Is lusting for a hawt bus girl selling myself short?
Sometimes I think, why hold out for steak when I could be enjoying hamburger meat recipes every night?
And who’s to say which person is sirloin and which is ground beef?
- Single Parents are Missing Out on Intimacy
- Tis the Season to Flirt
- Where’s the Romance?
- Sexy and Funny Dating Stories
- Just Flirt, Baby!
- From Sizzle to Fizzle Before the Second Date
- Meeting Women the Old Fashioned Way
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Comment by justrun
| December 22nd, 2008
Never over think a hamburger. Just enjoy it! With cheese! Wait, as usual I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing…
justrun´s last blog post..Santa would slap me
Comment by lisaq
| December 22nd, 2008
Definitely not. You can’t judge someone like that. Who knows what kind of person she is? She may very well be steak. Besides which, it’s all subjective anyway isn’t it? Hamburger for one person may be steak for another and vice versa.
lisaq´s last blog post..How to Lose Your Virginity
Comment by Jimmy
| December 22nd, 2008
Remember the old commercial?
“You’re putting A-1 Steak Sauce on your hamburger?”
“Of course. What’s a hamburger? chapped ham? No its chopped steak! And what’s better on steak than A-1?”
A-1 Turns your hamburgers into steakburgers.
Comment by mama llama
| December 22nd, 2008
I agree. I am a Mama Llama with an advanced degree and still have worked the service sector. Ends must be met. We all do whatever we need to do. Unfair to judge, period.
Another example: I know many latinos here in this area who are in exile from their countries, educated lawyers and doctors but unable to practice here. Thus they must work construction, service, hard labor. The difference is talking to them and getting to know the stories rather than merely making generalizations based on fears of the unknown.
I have also always found I can be much more myself while eating a burger than a steak. So many manners, pretentious circumstances, etc. so often in a steak-eating atmosphere…I just like to be ME!
Enjoy–I like my burgers with a spicy mustard and a pickle! :)
Be well, Dads.
Comment by Mad Cartoonist
| December 22nd, 2008
Uh what? Hamburger? Steak!? Geez, dh.
You appear to have thought of that bus woman, and you are still thinking of her,
*only* as a potential character in your personal “love across a crowded room” drama.
And now you’re discussing her as if she was something for sale in a supermarket!
Objectify much?
If you recall, I suggested that it might have gone better if you’d chatted with a woman briefly before treating her to your (apparently patented!) love stare. But you didn’t think that was relevant.
Uh, why not?
Chatting with her would show that you regard her as a person instead of just a substrate for your fantasies to act upon.
And, news flash! Women dig that!
You might prefer your fantasy, but I bet she doesn’t.
Like I said, in my younger days I got hit on all the time. And it really got annoying.
These guys, including a rock musician who followed me home and then wrote drippy poems and left them in my apartment lobby, already thought they “knew” everything relevant about “us” without talking to me.
The only thing lacking in the scenario, in their opinion, was for us to silently move into a lip lock and then ride together on the number 5 bus off into the sunset. Or something like that.
Basically, it was all about them. (And my part could have been played by a cardboard cutout!)
But if they had had the cajones and the imagination to actually strike up a conversation with me, to regard me for an instant as a regular person instead of a fantasy, they would have rapidly learned that although I was very young, I was married. And a student. And my in-laws were coming to dinner in 30 min and I needed to cook something, and also more my car before it got towed.
And even if I wasn’t, I would definitely not be looking for love on the city bus with a guy who didn’t even bother to find out my name before following me home and writing me a goddamn love letter (which BTW was all about how I should have responded to him because now we’d passed like ships in the night and we’d never know true love, etc, etc, choke, etc).
So DH, what I’m saying is, 1) it’s great that you’re out there “on the prowl”, 2) it’s great that you flirt–flirting is wonderful and fun. But 3) you gotta improve your game when you’re not “just flirting” and you really want to get to know a women better!
I suggest trying to get to know your target a bit before trying to stare her into your bed with your hyponotic eyes, y’know?
At the very least you’ll have a better idea why she’s turning you down!
Comment by Veep Veep
| December 22nd, 2008
I can’t believe you didn’t say anything when she saw you …
Veep Veep´s last blog post..Hair Daze
Comment by Wendy
| December 22nd, 2008
Absolutely. Guess it depends on that individual hamburger.
I love a good hamburger. I don’t love old dried out ones that seem like they should have been tossed a long time ago.
But fresh, hot, juicy ones….yum.
So seriously, I think you have to judge each hamburger individually.
Wendy´s last blog post..Tis the season for honesty
Comment by Phil
| December 22nd, 2008
I’ve got to agree with most of the comments. I wouldn’t judge any woman by her job, but you are simply fantasizing about a woman who is about 20 years younger than you! (My rule – if she’s closer to my kid’s age than mine… forget about it) Yes, it is possible that she’s in the same life stage as you and is just waiting to meet a single dad who is 20 years older… then again, maybe not.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| December 22nd, 2008
I absolutely love a good hamburger! And the best hamburgers are at In-n-Out Burger, which I go well out of my way to have whenever I am in California. (And I did… two days ago.)
MY point was that YOU said, (and I’ll quote) “I’m pretty sure this bus girl was in her late 20s. Too young for a serious relationship with me, I suspect. But not too young for me to flirt with, or even share a drink or a date.”
You have very, very, very often stated that what you’re after is a serious relationship. Yet you waste your time seeking out the booty. Not one thing in the world wrong with booty, booty and more booty. But I sense (based on what you say) that it’s only a fleeting pleasure, followed by complete emptiness.
Therefore, my steak/hamburger analogy wasn’t directed at the quality of a person, but rather regarding what your own words have claimed to be a lack of quality in potential relationship material. Your energy is being spent in seeking out ANYONE, when who you really want is SOMEONE.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..JAKE!
Comment by Mad Cartoonist
| December 22nd, 2008
I also have to agree with Teri. It seems like you aren’t even trying to use your other “head” when on the prowl for potential relationships! Could you be afflicted with “romantic comedy-itis”? ie, the delusion that you are likely to meet your soul mate in a random way, and yet you will deeply without any communication whatsoever, and then live happily ever after?
I also wanted to say….that it is very possible that you tremendously misjudged your bus girl’s age. Especially if she really is a Latina. She might be a high school kid working in a relative’s restaurant, you know.
If she was older than 15 years old (and a Latina) she almost certainly would be wearing a lot of makeup. Which could make her look much older than she is. If she isn’t wearing makeup at all, she’s probably < 15 years old.
She would also be wearing much more sophisticated jewelry (and good jewelry–14 K gold). And if she’s really in her late 20’s she probably already has 1-2 kids and might even be married!
Your description of her jewelry (& especially the sparkly “crown” in her hair (!)) is hard to imagine on a late 20’s woman of any ethnicity. Seriously? Hair ornaments like that went out when Madonna was first famous! (Although the style is still popular with some 12 year olds….)
(In the US, Hispanics (married or not) have children at the youngest age of any ethnic group. Often they’ll have several children before they’re 20 years old! (This is a major barrier to the attempts of both men and women to climb out of poverty and finish their educations (even high school)).
Yeah, that bus girl might have been an exception to the stats. She might have been a Ph.D. student in biochemistry in her late 20’s, with a quirky 80’s fashion sense who was trying to make a bit of money on the side by busing tables (although if she was that smart and gorgeous, she’d be working as a cocktail waitress instead–much better money!). And she might have been looking for a Anglo guy in his 40’s.
Of course, if you’d talked to her a bit you would have found out.
Comment by T
| December 22nd, 2008
Sure you could enjoy a little something and who knows if it will develop into something else. A hamburger steak perhaps?
You just never know…
But I also think that if it was meant to happen, it would. No matter what you did or didn’t do.
T´s last blog post..Projections, Presents and Presence
Comment by dadshouse
| December 22nd, 2008
Mad Cartoonist – wow, I really got under your skin with this one. You are projecting a lot of anger. Musicians on a bus from your younger days? Engaging in liplock without bothering to ask your name? What does that have to do with me and this bus girl?
I didn’t talk to her because my parents were sitting next to me. Later when I tried, the iron was no longer hot.
I approach and talk to tons of women. I blogged about chatting up a woman in front of my son. http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/06/20/how-to-pick-up-a-woman-in-front-of-your-son/
At what point in the bus girl post did I say that I wanted to sleep with her without talking to her? Um, never? I’m not that kind of guy. That you jumped to that conclusion and wrote two lengthy comments, even mentioning my “little head” (hello – are we in Junior High now?) says way more about you and your attitudes toward men and dating. It says nothing about me.
As for this woman being 15 – my daughter is 16. Give me a friggin’ break. I can tell age that well, and I would not chase someone so young.
Maybe her silver tiara was for the holidays. I saw a man last night in a bar with reindeer antlers. Or maybe it was this bus girl’s way of dealing with a service job she didn’t like. Who knows? (And you’re right, if I’d talked to her, all these questions would be answered. I didn’t talk to her because my parents were sitting right there)
I don’t know where you live, but here in the bay area there is a lot of ethnic diversity. There is no majority group. I don’t make judgments about latinas or any other group.
I agree she probably wasn’t pursuing a PhD at Stanford. But does that make her any less worthwhile as a human being?
I don’t know why you are so angry, Mad Cartoonist. But the Mad in your name seems apropos right now. Interesting that something about these two posts is causing you to unload so much of your own baggage here.
Once again – I didn’t talk to bus girl because my parents were present.
Comment by foolery
| December 22nd, 2008
What’s that old saying about jobs, “Dress for the job you want”? Seems to me that if you date someone who at the outset seems not to be a good fit, you may be having fun, but you’re sort of spinning your wheels. We’ve all done it — God knows I did when I was dating — but it doesn’t mean it’s the best idea for us.
Someone wise once told me that if you keep dating the same kind of person, and it isn’t working, change your game dramatically. Well, I had been dating guys who started out very different from each other, but all had one dominant thread that didn’t work for me. I changed my approach, asked a guy out, and we’ve been married for 10 years. Not that it’s that easy, but sometimes changing your approach (or, in my case, from reaction to action) changes the outcome.
Dunno if this is helpful. Peace to you this season. :)
– Laurie
Comment by dadshouse
| December 22nd, 2008
Foolery – that’s great advice. It’s why I no longer use online dating sites. Too many people there looking for checkbox perfection. Like the checkbox that says “does your ideal man have kids?” – most say “no”.
My ex-wife’s parents were immigrants who spoke little English and worked in a restaurant. They are two of the nicest, wisest, happiest, most-grounded people I know. I’d rather be with a woman who has those qualities than with a Stanford MBA who has money and education, but passes judgments and treats people poorly.
I might already be taking your advice and dating women who are right for me – after all, I didn’t ask out this bus girl. Like T says, if it was meant to happen it would have happened, and it didn’t. And for privacy reasons, I don’t blog about everything in my life. There’s more to me than one busgirl blog post…
Comment by Lance
| December 22nd, 2008
Dude, I love hamburger. I eat burgers WAY more than I get steak. Yum.
Lance´s last blog post..Thought Leader Interview Series: Sinn
Comment by SDMktg
| December 22nd, 2008
Not really on the topic entirely but you know if you grind up kobe beef into a hamburger you just completely eliminated the benefit of a perfectly marble piece of steak. All hamburger is full of fat. It’s ground that way.
You should hold out for steak because if you eat hamburger every night you’ll get fat and lazy. And you have to decide on your own which is which.
SDMktg´s last blog post..Christmas Dinner – Standing Rib Roast, The King of Meats
Comment by Leah
| December 22nd, 2008
I am getting lost in all the layers of this hamburger/steak analogy, LOL. I guess that means I’m not that deep, or I’m getting smothered in A-1.
These are just some questions I’m putting out into the ether and would appreciate any insights. I do truly want an LTR where I am satisfied emotionally, spiritually, physically – but I also fantasize about short term simple and lusty times with a 25 year old studly person in the meantime. Can one pursue both goals simultaneously? Must you focus, otherwise you’ll find neither? :)
Leah´s last blog post..“Doc Hudson is my daddy!”
Comment by single mom seeking
| December 22nd, 2008
Cracking up about SDMktg’s comment!
In all seriousness, I appreciate DH’s self-reflective re-visit to the post. Mad Cartoonist, I think that he’s making fun of himself with the hamburger reference (love how you put it CatHouse Teri!)… and he’s really looking at his thought process when it comes to meeting a woman.
Here’s to finding someone… not just anyone. I’m right there with that. Thanks CT!
single mom seeking´s last blog post..Online dating: no more emailing, it’s time for that real human connection
Comment by dadshouse
| December 22nd, 2008
SMS – yes, I am trying to reflect on how I pursue women.
The original steak/hamburger comment, even before Cathouse Teri, came from Paul Newman. When asked why he didn’t chase after young Hollywood actresses, since he basically had his pick, he reminded folks that he was married. “Why eat hamburger out when you have steak waiting for you at home?” was his basic retort.
So, I am asking, if you don’t have someone at home, who is to say which person you meet in the dating world is hamburger and which is steak? And is steak really all that much better? By that I mean – should we hold out for the “ideal” mate? Or is it better to try connecting with whoever comes your way?
You won’t know the quality of a person until you engage them in real life conversation. Quality is subjective. One person might hold out for an Ivy educated mate. Someone else might be looking for a compassionate, selfless person. Yet another might want a mix of all those things. Someone else might want a partner who is not educated. Who is anyone to criticize my choice in women, or anyone else’s choice? Some women, some qualities, turn my head.
Leah – I tried the “I’m only going to look for my ideal mate” approach, and ended up quite lonely for a year. I’ve since split my search. I have my radar up for a great partner, and I also tangle with fun women in more light-hearted ways.
Comment by MindyMom
| December 22nd, 2008
OK, I’m done reading all other blogs in favor of dads comment section!
Bottom line for me; soemtimes I’m in the mood for a burger and sometimes a steak. Both can be equally satisfying depending on my mood. Neither one has to be a long-term commitment though, and you have to try both to know what you prefer.
MindyMom´s last blog post..A New Look
Comment by liz
| December 22nd, 2008
If you can get the physical and emotional intimacy (which we define differently, so let’s not get into that) from hamburger, then go for it and enjoy!
I know that for me – only steak will really give me what I seek. That said, one woman’s steak is another woman’s hamburger…to each her own.
liz´s last blog post..Fluff
Comment by chi
| December 22nd, 2008
As a 30 something single mom that often gets mistaken for a 20 something nanny let’s just say if you think a gal/guy is intriguing and you have the right opportunity then go for it. I was recently dating a man that was nine years older than me and we had everything in common (it scared us both how much.) Our kids were even the same age. We were just about to really get to know each other when he suddenly broke up with me. We became friends and he recently told me it was the age difference that threw him and that after he got to know me he deeply regretted his decision. What triggered the sudden breakup? He was driving down my block with his friends and I was walking down the street. His friend said “Maybe that little hottie could be your new nanny.” He told me he dregrets not turning to his friend and telling him that I actually have a masters degree from an ivy league school and am the Executive Director of a very successful non-profit and his girlfriend.
You never know, people. You never know the story until you get the story..
Comment by ilinap
| December 22nd, 2008
And once again, we (women, that is) are reduced to cuts of meat. Sigh.
Oh, I tease.
Comment by Vinnie Sorce
| December 22nd, 2008
I love the way you put that, lol. Whatever happens happens, you maye get pork roast you may get hot dogs. Whatever you get love it and treat it right.
Vinnie Sorce´s last blog post..My Little Angels…
Comment by krn
| December 22nd, 2008
I was engaged to a single dad for three really wonderful years. We met when I was 29 and he was 46. He was very successful and I was the one with a degree. People made all kinds of assumptions about our relationship, but we were deeply in love and I adored his children (still do). We weren’t meant to be together for life, but we had a really nice run that included both hamburger and steak. Don’t we all have the capacity to be both at different times? Come to think of it, I love tofu, too. ;)
Comment by Laura
| December 22nd, 2008
What happens if you dont like steak at all? Do you still hold out for it cos its supposed to be better than the burger you LOVE?
And what do you do if you a vegetarian?
All very confusing really!
Laura´s last blog post..Visit to the Lion and Rhino Park
Comment by dadshouse
| December 22nd, 2008
When I was 43 I dated a woman who was 29. We met in real life at a friend’s party. The eye contact was kinetic. Her smile melted me. She was south american, had a college degree, but couldn’t get work in her field here so was a nanny while she went to graduate school. We hit it off great – the only problem being my kids are teens, and she wants to have her own kids in 5-10 years. So the “same life stage” thing wasn’t there for us to date long term. Otherwise, we really enjoyed each other’s company, and shared tons of chemistry. Steak and hamburger there. Baked potato and fries, too.
Comment by Anon
| December 23rd, 2008
I agree, it doesn’t matter what profession we’re in. I was a single parent at age 20, working whatever job paid the bills, until I was stable enough to go back to school. Now I have a great job, my oldest is married, and I have 2 more kids at home.
And I have to say, that alot of guys blow me off after one date, because I appear to be hamburger and they are looking for steak. I’m like Oprah, some junk in the trunk, and a medical condition that helps keep me overweight. BUT, there is so much more to me than that. Alot of people don’t bother looking beneath the surface to find out I really am steak.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| December 23rd, 2008
Now I have a headache. I’m going to take a long, hot shower. :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..JAKE!
Comment by krn
| December 24th, 2008
Dad’s~ The baked potatoes and fries got me giggling. My former love and I broke it off for the same reason. I couldn’t picture a life without a child of my own, especially after loving his kids so much. I married a man six years younger. That didn’t last either, but we also had a great, long run.
Merry Christmas! My wish for you is to find Her in the coming year. :)
Comment by The Exception
| December 29th, 2008
It is interesting that we have to open ourselves to discovering the qualities that make a peron “steak”. Something has to inspire us to take the time and invest the energy to do it. Though, I have to admit, that I would just enjoy a nice hunk of meat about now! ;)
Oh, and to your comment DH on my post of 22 December, the man was with his wife… this is why I didn’t respond overly enthusiasticly to his conversation. (Though I did chat and laugh etc)
The Exception´s last blog post..