Fondue
When Ilina from Dirt & Noise wrote about making homemade fondue, I immediately wanted to pour myself a glass of white wine. Call it Pavlov’s bell.
It wasn’t always like that.
Years ago, when I was still married, I took a business trip to Switzerland with a colleague. Boondoggles being boondoggles, my wife came along too. The three of us visited Neufchatel and Lucerne, before heading to Munich for three days of drinking beer with breakfast and jaeger tea after dark.
Switzerland is famous for its fondue, so of course one night we went for some. We ordered a cheesy fondue and sipped half-litre beers while the restaurant prepared our meal.
The fondue place was jumping. We were in a French-speaking part of Switzerland, and had no idea what anyone was saying. The buzz of an unknown-to-us language added charm. While we waited for fondue, an older gent came over and started talking to us in French, animatedly pointing at my friend. We had no idea what the old guy was saying. We hoped he wasn’t trying to cop a portion of our cheesy fondue.
 Electric Fondue Maker  |
I finally busted out some Italian. (Is there an Italian word for fondue?)
Parla l’italiano? I asked.
Si! Si! he said.
Turned out the old guy thought my friend looked like some English soccer player, Bobby Chartone. (We later learned the Brit’s name was Bobby Charlton. Damned if there isn’t a resemblance!)
When our fondue finally came, we heard other patrons laughing.
“They’re laughing at us,” I said.
“No, they’re not,” my wife said. “You take things too personally.”
We dipped bread in the hot cheesy fondue mixture, and ate. The fondue was quite good. But we heard more laughter.
“I’m positive they are laughing at us,” I said. “Everyone is looking.”
“They’re just enjoying watching us eat our first real fondue,” my wife said.
“They don’t know it’s our first.”
Finally, a Swiss chap came over. He spoke broken English. (I’m a big believer in learning some part of the language for any country I visit. But all the French I knew was Je voudrais l’eau. I was thirsty a lot!)
“First fondue?” he asked.
“Yes!” we all chimed.
“We thought so.” He gestured at the other faces in the room, everyone looking, smiling, nodding encouragement.
“First thing,” he said, “you must continually stir the cheese or the fondue will burn on the bottom.”
“Ohhhh,” we said. We immediately started stirring the fondue every time we dipped a piece of bread. Someone in the room shouted oui!
“Second,” he said. “No beer. It will make the cheese into a stone in your stomach like a rock.” He clapped his hands into a ball for effect.
“What should we drink?” my buddy asked.
“Two things with fondue – either tea, or white wine.”
We ordered wine. When the waiter brought it, the entire restaurant broke out in applause.
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Comment by Dr. Leah www.singlemommyhood.com
| January 13th, 2009
Everyone has a “fondue story”. This story is particularly funny.
I’m sure there are deeper meanings to the warnings about the importance of stirring the pot and not letting your insides turn to stone.
Hmmmm . . .I’ll leave the deeper meanings for others to discuss.
Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com´s last blog post..Getting that “online sixth sense”
Comment by MindyMom
| January 13th, 2009
That’s funny! Much better to embarass yourself when out of the country than at home where someone you know might be watching. (and laughing)
Being a wino myself I think the only food beer goes with well is chili or a good burger!
MindyMom´s last blog post..Saying Goodbye
Comment by SingleParentDad
| January 13th, 2009
I love fondue, we tend to do it simply with oil rather than cheese, then you can have all sorts of dips and sauces once you have cooked your different meats.
But when in France last year, you have to take the cheese option. As a table of four we actually shared a fondue and a electric cheese skillet. Cheese and wine, that’s all they eat, oh and bread. Du pain.
Bit pretentious of them to enjoy laughing at your experience, but I don’t suppose it would be any different in the stuffy parts of Britain.
SingleParentDad´s last blog post..You Complete Me
Comment by mama llama
| January 13th, 2009
I find fondue an extremely erotic food…
(sigh)
That is about all I have to say on the subject.
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog post..dreaming of stilettos
Comment by T
| January 13th, 2009
Oh Mama Llama needs to get her some erotic action… SOON!!!
(don’t we all?)
I love this story. How funny! And I’m impressed that you know a little Italiano…
T´s last blog post..Feast or famine
Comment by katherine.
| January 13th, 2009
fun story for sure…although I was hoping for a recipe…
katherine.´s last blog post..wordless wednesday ~ playa del carmen alley
Comment by rdawg
| January 13th, 2009
Funny, I was wondering if anyone used fondue pots anymore, guess so.
I’ve had a fondue pot sitting in the basement for 18 years that was a wedding present, my ex never wanted to bother with it. I pulled it out the other day and did the oil and meat fondue with my kids. They had a blast, not erotic, but a good memory for them.
Comment by Exception
| January 13th, 2009
There is nothing like a good fondue with a glass or two of wine… especially the chocolate fondue!! Have you tried to make it at home?
Exception´s last blog post..Do I or Don’t I
Comment by krn
| January 13th, 2009
Fun story, Dad’s. Travel stories are as good as funny kid stories or….mmmmmm, ooh, sexy stories.
Comment by dadshouse
| January 13th, 2009
I like the psychological angle of needing to stir the pot, and doing the right things to not get a pit in your stomach. I hope whatever fondue I’m getting warmth and nourishment from is getting appropriately stirred.
Regarding this particular fondue restaurant – it wasn’t pretentious, just a little cafe in a small town. The laughter bugged me, but maybe they were just so gleeful that a bunch of Yanks had tripped into their town and were trying to get into the swing of fondue. The applause after was awesome. Partly because it validated my intuition that the laughter had been directed at us.
Comment by Honey
| January 13th, 2009
As far as I’m concerned, bread cheese and beer are the REAL holy trinity. I’d have to politely decline his second recommendation.
Honey´s last blog post..My Boyfriend’s Mother
Comment by ilinap
| January 13th, 2009
That is hysterical. Can you imagine the same thing happening over here if someone ordered A glass of champagne with chicken wings or nachos? Thanks for the link love! One of these days I might write about my most embarrassing moment in Italy.
Comment by dadshouse
| January 13th, 2009
Ilinap – an embarrassing moment in Italy. Sexy and funny? I’ll look for that post!
Honey – yeah, who’d have thunk it that beer with fondue is a bad thing? I’ll have white wine with my nachos, please – don’t want a pit in my stomach. Ha.
Comment by QTMama
| January 13th, 2009
I totally see no deeper meaning in the stirring of the cheese, DH. :) But I can SO tell you I’d be sure they were laughing at us too!
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Comment by Cathouse Teri
| January 14th, 2009
That is a darn cute story!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Man… Is A Giddy Thing
Comment by Gennaro @ Enduring Wanderlust
| January 14th, 2009
I love fondue. Switzerland is fascinating in terms of languages with four official. Many trains and other public places are filled with German, Italian, and French. Some towns have the old local tongue too (Romansh)
Gennaro @ Enduring Wanderlust´s last blog post..Things To Do In NYC (For Free)
Comment by steph
| January 14th, 2009
I actually just had some cheese fondue last night. Very yummy and perfect for a cold night. I have two kids and they are learning to like it. It does take a bit of time to acquire the taste. My mom is swiss and yes, you always need to drink tea or wine.
Anyway, I attempted to do an oil dessert fondue after my first child was born. Trying to do something special for the ex and set a mood. Well, it ended up catching on fire. We had to pull out the fire extinguisher and my ex had a few minor burns from putting out the flame. Not sure I will ever attempt an oil fondue again, I think I will stick with going to the Melting Pot.