Comments on: Discreet Affair

By: ShrimpieDad

ShrimpieDad — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:57:08 +0000

This is one that’s close to my heart. I suspected my wife was cheating on me for months, only to have her vehemently deny it, accuse me of being a jerk for not trusting her, and punishing me for doubting her. Ultimately we got divorced for a very angry, disfunctional relationship. Afterward, one of her former best friends came to me to tell me that my instincts were right: My wife had confided in her that she been cheating on me with a married man (and continues to see this man over 18 months later). To this day she denies ever having an affair, both to my face and to the child therapist we see together for our child’s own well being. Without honesty and complete disclosure, a marriage cannot last or at least, will be miserably unhappy. The cheating partner should realize that they are at fault for causing such pain in the marriage and ultimately to their children once the divorce happens. My marriage was obviously by no means perfect, but there was no abuse, no neglect, a continued active sex life until things fell apart. Some people just are incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship. I was willing to do whatever it took to make the marriage better before we divorced (while not knowing that she was cheating the whole time). Once I realized that she was unwilling to work with me or the therapists we’d seen but instead wanted to just keep doing what she wanted whenever she wanted, I knew the tension wasn’t going to be good for my daughter, so I filed for divorce. To this day, even though she continues to lie about the affair, my ex is convinced that I BETRAYED HER by divorcing her. Some people just lack the ability to decipher right from wrong, that is, they convince themselves their actions are ok because it is what they want. Their selfishness overrides any feelings of concern they will hurt someone. And the wost type-are the ones who put themselves and their personal gratification before their very own children. The refuse to look at their own behaviors and blame everyone else for their unhappiness. If you’re married to one of these and can’t get any help from them to work it out, my opinion is to give your children the opportunity to live in at least one household where honesty and morals are practiced, not just discussed. They will realize the truth as they get older and will resent you for not taking care of them otherwise. By bringing children into the world, we’ve accepted the responsibility to protect them, even from their other parent. I can’t control what my ex does in front of my daughter but I can show my daughter the right way to live, how to build healthy relationships, and how to repspect others.

By: mark

mark — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 09:44:12 +0000

just wanted to say hi, , really, , i am a single dad, two kids, girl 18 and boy 16,
I think i can identify with everything you say on this site , and sit here laughing, and nodding to myself.
I have been doin the single parent bit for nearly 4 yrs now, and up until I read these articles, I thought i was the only one thinking like this,
I now know there are 2 of us, ,lol
mark

By: Frank Azzurro

Frank Azzurro — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:50:26 +0000

these are heartbreaking – but valuable and interesting – stories and are very interesting. a healthy love life is just as important as a healthy overall family life, and two loving parents who wouldn’t dream of ever cheating on each other is unfortunately rare in this age. i feel lucky – married an entire three years this year; don’t laugh at the newbie! – that I seem to have that.

i’m going to post more of my thoughts at my own site, and reference dad’s house…the more i read this blog the more i like it, even when it’s stuff we’d all rather not deal with like the above stories.

corrupt.org/blogs/frank_azzurro/family

By: Janet

Janet — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:13:29 +0000

I did everything I could to keep us together, to the point that I sometimes feel embarrassed about it now. But I could only do what I thought was right for me and our son (not yet born at the time), and in the end, I think it's good that I did everything possible. I never have to look back and wonder, "What if?" Unfortunately, it takes BOTH people wanting to work it out, and he didn't want to make the effort. Since then, I have learned much more about him and realize now that our not being together is most certainly for the best! Janet´s last blog post..Money Can't Buy Me Love.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:14:15 +0000

I would never, ever go back! My ex has continued down the same sad path he was on when we were married. He gets worse with age. Meanwhile, I have moved on and am emotionally stronger than I have ever been in my life. Feels good! No regrets.

By: Get Girl

Get Girl — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:21:47 +0000

This is the way things should be, get off what we are on now

By: discreet sex

discreet sex — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 05:46:09 +0000

no man wants to lose his wife to a woman but every man wants to be with another woman and his wife discreet sex´s last blog post..love affair