Flat Abs
I’m a Cali-boy, so I can’t help but have flat abs. (*cough*cough* Yeah, right.) I do eat a healthy diet and lead an active lifestyle with cycling, running, hiking, body surfing. I’ve done my share of marathons and centuries, and generally keep in good shape. In my 30s, I didn’t quite have ripped abs, but I looked just fine in board shorts.
But one day when I was 40 and at the beach with my kids, my son told me I was getting fat.
“I’m not fat,” I said.
“What’s this?” he asked. He poked me in that area on men known as a spare tire. So much for ripped abs.
“It’s just a little extra,” I said. “I’m fine for my age.”
“If you say so.”
He was right, though. Those mojitos and Manhattans I like to drink were taking their toll.
I abhor the gym (why workout indoors when there’s California sunshine to be had?), so I promptly went to a bookstore and found a book with ripped abs exercises to show me how to get flat abs again.
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| Navy Seal Workout |
Enter the Navy Seal Workout
This book rocks. I’ve been diligently doing the ripped abs sit-up portion of the Navy Seal workout
The other morning, I headed into the TV room to do my sit-ups.
“Why do you keep working out?” my daughter asked.
Um, because I’m a single parent on the dating scene, trying to look my best? Ripped abs are part of the equation!
“I like staying fit. It makes me feel good,” I said.
“But you don’t have to be fit,” she said.
“Why not? I like being active. What’s wrong with staying in shape for cycling, running, and hiking?”
“You’re old, dad,” my daughter said. She gave me a conciliatory pat on the back. “Old guys are supposed to be fat.”
Doh! (Or should I say “dough!”)
How many Dad’s House female readers care if a man works out or not? Are flat abs a necessity? Do some of you prefer older men who aren’t in shape?
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Comment by justrun
| January 16th, 2009
I realize I’m saying this as someone with a pretty active lifestyle, but I think it’d be silly to not care if the person you care about takes care of themselves. So, of course I care if he works out, but do I want him to be a Navy Seal? Not really, unless he actually is one.
Did I say ‘care’ enough?
Comment by lisaq
| January 16th, 2009
Ah outta the mouths of babes. Hehe…
lisaq´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday Eye Candy-Grey’s Anatomy Edition
Comment by Ambar
| January 16th, 2009
Your kids are really funny! But, I don’t know, I think that for some reason is almost a done deal that “old” people have to be fat and let themselves go. Wich is plain terrible, not only for your health, it’s also important to set a good example for your kids aaand remain attractive to your (future) partner. I’m not talking about trying to be a greek god/ goddess, I’m just saying take care of yourself, learn to love your body and work with what you have (and please, don’t complain too much about the things you don’t like about yourself… see, loove your body and work with what you have. Plus, the complainings and insecurities are so not attractive)
Everyone has different standars or ideas of what is appealing, but hey, super fit abs don’t hurt anybody. In fact, you can do a lot of good to the world by showing them off ;)
Comment by Vinomom
| January 16th, 2009
Hehehe – she’s probably just had enough of her friends talking about how cute her dad is! I remember always having one friend or another whos dad was “sooooo handsome!”
Vinomom´s last blog post..The Book Won!
Comment by debra
| January 16th, 2009
I’d like to add my support to any 40+ men in their quest for great abs! The effort is much appreciated! : )
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| January 16th, 2009
Yeah… my ex husband used to do the Navy Seal workout every day, because he was a Navy Diver. And then he started thinking the whole world should do this workout. NOT!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..All The World’s A Stage
Comment by mama llama
| January 16th, 2009
I agree with you. We are also setting an EXCELLENT example to the kids regarding the importance of, effectively, treating our bodies as our temples.
When my kids ask about why I go to the gym when I’m not fat, I tell them it’s not about being fat or skinny; it’s about being healthy and releasing stress. How can I expect to be able to care for two young children when I couldn’t take care of myself first?
Your kids are a hoot. And good for you on the sit-ups. I do mine religiously as well–core strength helps with almost everything.
Be well, Dads. Have a great weekend.
mama llama´s last blog post..insights
Comment by MindyMom
| January 16th, 2009
Yes, Yes, Yes! A fit guy is what we all want. Great abs – even better. I do think women are more forgiving about mens weight than men are for women though. Why is that?
MindyMom´s last blog post..Dating & Blogging
Comment by Exception
| January 16th, 2009
Kids say the funniest things!
There is nothing quite like a man who takes care of his body and his mind – exercise dos both as does eating well and finding joy. It doesn’t matter the age of the man. (With age may come a natural change to the physique?)
But I definitely like a man hard…;)
(with a hard body that is…)
Exception´s last blog post..The Fault Line
Comment by Dr. Leah www.singlemommyhood.com
| January 16th, 2009
I recently was “set up” with a guy with such an enormous gut that his shirt buttons were stretched across his stomach like a fully inflated balloon. All I could think was . . .if he pops a shirt button, I will lose an eye.
That evening ended quickly . . . .
Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com´s last blog post..Valentine’s Day party giveaway contest!
Comment by Mike
| January 16th, 2009
Ouch that hurt.
Mike´s last blog post..Tobacco is Still King
Comment by Phil
| January 16th, 2009
Unfortunately, it’s hardly just “old guys” who are out of shape these days. I don’t care if everyone else is fat and it is accepted by society to be okay, it still isn’t the right thing to do.
Your reasoning that you gave your kids was the right answer. Do it for yourself, not for someone else.
Comment by katherine.
| January 16th, 2009
While I prefer my man to be “in shape”…I’d shy away from someone who spends an inordinate amount of time working out.
Your daughter will read these posts ten, twenty years from now…and then she’ll get it.
There is a surfer clothing line we see a lot of over here called, “Old Guys Rule.” And they do.
“cali-boy”???
katherine.´s last blog post..wordless wednesday ~ playa del carmen alley
Comment by dadshouse
| January 16th, 2009
MindyMom – I’m not sure who is more forgiving about weight and fitness. I actually know quite a few women who want their man “fat and happy”. My first post-divorce girlfriend had a totally different body type than I was conditioned to find attractive – yet, after dating her and getting to know her, I suddenly found her body type more attractive than any other.
Dr. Leah – too funny!
Katherine – I suppose I could go by the moniker, California King. But then you’d just think I was a bed. (I was born and raised in Cali, lived here all my life except during grad school when I suffered the cold northeast)
Mama Llama and Ambar – exactly!
It’s Friday, people! Forget happy hour – when is sit-up hour tonight? Haha
Comment by ditz
| January 16th, 2009
If a guy is in his 30’s, then maybe the abs would be an issue. It takes a lot of focus (both in the gym and watching the diet) to stay in that kind of shape as you age. Once you hit 50, keeping the body of a 30 year old is pretty difficult unless you are naturally lean.
As long as he has good arms and shoulders, I don’t care about a ‘little’ pudge around the middle.
Comment by QTMama
| January 16th, 2009
A fit man is a great man, in my opinion.
Personally, however, I’d rather have a man with meat on his bones and that is NOT in shape than have a super skinny ass man. Ugh.
QTMama´s last blog post..Honesty When Dating
Comment by Holly Hoffman
| January 16th, 2009
I went from a flabby guy to a completely ripped guy to another flabby guy. Whether you’re flabby or not doesn’t *necessarily* bother me – having an active, healthy lifestyle does. If you want a woman with an active, healthy lifestyle, then that’s the one you need to live.
In the end, though, it doesn’t sound like the looks is really why you’re doing it. I enjoy being fit, staying in shape, being healthy & active, and seeing a hot body when I look in the mirror. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
Holly Hoffman´s last blog post..News Flash: Sex is a Distraction
Comment by T
| January 16th, 2009
*raises hand enthusiastically*
Oooo!! Me too! I love nice abs on a man too. And I also agree with QT Mama that I like a man with mean on his bones!
Good for you for taking care of yourself (and you obviously do from what I’ve seen in person) and for being a great role model for your kiddos. They sound like fun kids!
It is amazing how many men over the age of 40 don’t take care of themselves or use that old “I know I should” excuse about exercise. I mean seriously? And the stereotype is that its older women who let themselves go! All of the women in my life make it part of their lifestyles to stay healthy and in great shape. And I don’t mean skinny, either. Healthy is the new thin, if you ask me!
T´s last blog post..Random thoughts for a Friday
Comment by T
| January 16th, 2009
Ha! “Mean on his bones”… of course I meant “meat” on his bones.
But then a man with a mean bone(r) is always nice too!
;)
T´s last blog post..Random thoughts for a Friday
Comment by Bek
| January 16th, 2009
I like a man that works out. Why would I think that I guy that doesn’t even take care of himself could take care of me? Not only do they look better leaner, but when a man takes care of himself, despite age (or whatever) it says to me that he cares about himself, he prides himself in how he looks and feels and that tells me that he likes me enough to want to continue staying in shape. For a girl there is nothing worse than dating a guy who, in the beginning, took great care of himself but has since stopped and is growing old and round. Nothing against old and round people, but what makes someone stop? I mean, to me it seems as though they figure they have you, why keep trying so hard? And that sucks.
I’m a little shallow? Maybe, maybe not…. but I like a man that loves himself enough to take care of himself.
Bek´s last blog post..Oooh baby it’s cold outside!
Comment by Person Person
| January 16th, 2009
I do not care if a man works out or not. If he is healthy, and reasonably fit, I do not want to know how he maintains his shape. And if this is obsessive, it’s a big minus for me.
But I guess I am not your “target audience” – I myself just hate working out, so I would not be able to participate in this conversation :)
So as usual, it all depends on what “market” you are trying to reach. If it’s women who judge men on their physique, then yes, sure, working out is important. Just keep in mind that there are a lot of guys in their twenties and thirties out there whose physique is – naturally – more attractive than yours :)
Comment by Lance
| January 16th, 2009
Nice. My GF recently accused me of putting on weight, so for one of my NY resolutions I quit drinking (for a month) and starting eating healthier. I already lift and workout out a ton. Good abs are a lady killer.
Lance´s last blog post..Is Sex a Distraction or Should We All Just Get Laid?
Comment by ilinap
| January 16th, 2009
Being in shape is about more than looking good. It’s about a mindset. A sense of dedication and disciple. More importantly, it’s about being *fit.* A fit man is a more active man. You get my drift. And share some of those ab exercises with the the rest of us. This 40 yr old mom of 2 kids could use the help!
ilinap´s last blog post..Delurking Day: Lurk No More
Comment by Irishgirl
| January 16th, 2009
I LOVE a man who works out and takes care of himself. I agree, with Bek, if he doesn’t take care of himself, how can he take care of me?? A fit man is a confident man and a confident man is one of the sexiest things!
My BF is 39 and an avid cyclist. When he’s not on the bike, he’s in the gym and it shows. Its a total turn on for a man to be in shape (other then round)! Not only does is benefit him (and ultimately me) but it benefits his kids. He can actually get down on the floor and wrestle with them or play a game of football without having a heart attack. There is NOTHING sexy about a guy huffing and puffing after a leisurely game of catch.
Perhaps I am shallow, but I take care of myself and I expect the same out of my partner. Its hard not to start slacking once you’ve “snagged” someone, but I think its important to then do athletic things together. Sorry, but physical appearance is part of what keeps the romance going long after the newness of the relationship has warn off.
Irishgirl´s last blog post..We’ve got a virgin!!!
Comment by ilinap
| January 16th, 2009
Just when we thought we knew everything, we’re looking for more. http://www.dirtandnoise.com/2009/01/writing-that-moves-me.html
ilinap´s last blog post..Delurking Day: Lurk No More
Comment by krn
| January 16th, 2009
“Why do you still workout?” Like those of us over 40 will hurt ourselves or it’s hopeless?! Very cute, your daughter!
Maybe you could treat her to a father/daughter aerobic fitness video date featuring a video from 1982 or so? We are the original aerobic fitness generation, afterall. On second thought, maybe that was Jack LaLane, waaaay before our time. Anyway, I bet at least one of her friends thinks you’re “nice looking, for an old guy.”
Nice abs are good, but great legs always get my attention.
Comment by Lori
| January 17th, 2009
I’ve dated all body types, but Dad…flat abs…I would not be able to keep my hands off of you.
Comment by rdawg
| January 17th, 2009
Ok, I put my request in for a copy of it at the library, just to see how closely it compares to my morning workout routine… The amazing thing was that all of the copies were available, no waiting, gee that was a big surprise, I figured there would be a run on them after New Years.
Comment by single mom seeking
| January 17th, 2009
That question of yours cracked me up! Is that a joke?
I’ve always tried to stay in shape, although I’ve gone through some “chubby” periods for sure (post baby!).
Now, I kick box two or three days a week, spin one night, walk… I do it for ME. And, yes, I love being a great role model for my kid.
So, yes, a fit man is HOT. (And “wow” about Lori’s comment!!)
single mom seeking´s last blog post..So, where do you hide the sex toys?
Comment by Leah
| January 17th, 2009
Your kids’ gems are just priceless.
Agreed with SMS that a fit man is hot. I’d take one. I’m not all that picky, though, and I’ll date someone with less-than-washboard abs or maybe even a li’l gut. I am one of those women who is thin but not at all fit. I would love to work out but haven’t yet determined when exactly that is supposed to occur in my life. I’ll keep working on that one!
Leah´s last blog post..Ah, the dating life.
Comment by Savored Life
| January 18th, 2009
I am with you, I loathe “The Gym”. It bores me to tears, especially when the Great Outdoors offer so many alternatives…not to mention thinking about who has been sweating all over the equipment before you. ::gag::
A wonderful friend of mine (HotBe) turned me onto an awesome fitness tool that can seriously be used ANYWHERE. In fact, I believe the Navy Seals are using this in their workout as well. It’s the TRX [ http://www.fitnessanywhere.com/ ]. I love this thing. It’s a full body workout utilizing your core (ABS!) the entire time. This kicks your ass. (I should be a sales person for them!) :D
Just a little FYI for you and others looking to “change it up” and “Work it out” all at the same time!
Savored Life´s last blog post..Funny How That Happens….
Comment by Kat Wilder
| January 18th, 2009
Keeping fit is part of a healthy lifestyle.
Flat abs are great to look at, but I, too, are more interested in a man who works out as part of his whole view on life. That’s why I work out/hike/bike. If, however, it also happens to make my ass look great, well, who am I to argue …?
Kat Wilder´s last blog post..Girl-on-girl, hot; guy-on-guy, not?
Comment by SDMktg
| January 19th, 2009
To answer Bek’s question regarding why guys stop working out when they have a girlfriend? Time management is why. It’s hard to find time for the gym 5 days a week to keep up the routine and a lot of times when a girlfriend comes along she wants some of your time. Between work, kids, girlfriend, and everything else carving out time for working out is a challenge. Of course it’s worth it, it’s just not easy. I dated one girl who constantly tried to feed me food that wasn’t on my diet and would get upset if I refused. She also wasn’t a very good influence when it came to drinking. That didn’t last.
In the end, I have to work out and watch what I eat for me and to set a good example for my kids. Being healthy is important. At my 20 year HS reunion less than 1/2 of the guys were in good shape still.
SDMktg´s last blog post..Inauguration Feast – Recipes for Obama Taking Office
Comment by Cheery-Wise
| January 22nd, 2009
In my book, it’s all about attitude. I’m much more impressed with a man who cares about being warm, kind and generous, who is involved in his kids lives, who reads and is concerned about his community, and who knows how to leave work behind… than obsessing over trying to look 20 years younger.
I like being with a man who practices healthy eating and responsible drinking, who makes a habit of being active, and enjoys spending time ‘doing things’ (gardening, exploring the city, hiking in the hills, going dancing) rather than sitting on the couch watching TV.
I don’t think spending a zillion hours at the gym makes a guy a better person. Though, I admit, I do draw the line at dating anyone who “waddles”… LOL