Sexy and Funny Wine Country Date
Remember my sexy wine country date? The one where I met Benita, a Brazilian woman, for a second-date dinner in San Francisco. My single-parent custody schedule wouldn’t permit a third date for at least two weeks, so I suggested she and I head to Napa wine country for a sexy weekend fling. She accepted. Only problem, as I found out later, she had other lovers. And I’m not into polyamory.
Here’s the rest of that story. It gets better.
Benita and I tasted at several Napa valley wineries, including Duckhorn, the winery that donated sauvignon blanc for Obama’s inaugural lunch (news of which prompted my memory of this dating story). By mid-afternoon, we were tasted out, and ready to head home.
There are two main north/south roads in Napa Valley – the Silverado Trail on the east side (where the Napa marathon takes place), and Highway 29 on the west side that passes by Beringer, Grgich, Mondavi, Beaulieu, etc. We were on Hwy 29, with bumper-to-bumper weekend traffic. Slow going, and not much fun.
To make matters worse, there was one stretch of road with busy construction workers, and concrete barriers cutting us off from both shoulders.
We were creeping along at an old-folks pace, same as everyone else, when all of a sudden, Benita got all hot and bothered and excited.
“Stop the car!” she said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Pull over!”
“I can’t. There’s traffic everywhere. Is something the matter?”
I’m not sure if this part is sexy or funny or both. My memory of it is sexy, since I was there in the car. My telling of it is funny, since it usually makes for a good a laugh. You be the judge…
“I want you to make love to me,” Benita said. “Pull over the car, and make love to me now.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“F— me now!”
Um…. Sexy? Funny? Does it matter?
“Right now?” I asked.
“Yes, now. Pull over the car,” she said.
“I can’t. There’s nowhere to park.”
“Just pull off!”
“You want to have sex in the car with people driving by?”
“YES!”
At this point, I was thinking two things.
One – this woman was nuts. I mean, come on. She can’t wait until we’re someplace that’s more conducive to a sexy romp?
Two – this woman was nuts for sex. (Not that that’s a problem…) The funny thing was, I know some guys would dream of a woman this horny. I mean, it’s a better problem than being with someone who begs off with a headache each night.
I kept driving, but I was sweating bullets. Part of me wanted to pull over and give her the sexy romp that she craved. But I’m also chaste enough to at least have car sex under cover of an orchard or a woodsy group of trees. In true weekend romp form, I drove to the next exit, pulled off, and took the first country road I could find. Then I stopped the car.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
Funny, I could have sworn she wanted me to pull off the road for sex. “I thought you wanted some sexy fun,” I said. (Actually, I spoke in more explicit terms than that. I’m just trying reduce the f-bombs, and keep this blog PG13.)
“I’m not in the mood any more,” she said. “I was in the mood back on the main road. Back when you refused to pull off.”
I see…
The lesson of this story: if a second dinner date turns into a fun wine-country romp, and your date demands you pull the car over for sex, don’t assume she’s playing a joke. Sometimes sexy women ask for exactly what they want. And it’s your job to give it them.
Or not.
(Yes, this actually happened…)
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- My Drunk Date
- Sexy and Funny Dating Stories from Dad’s House
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Comment by Dr. Leah
| January 26th, 2009
No doubt in my mind that this happened. Sounds like your date was a bit of an exhibitionist.
Comment by Ambar
| January 26th, 2009
Whaaaat?
Really funny, kind of creppy… she was a little nuts, must say. Good thing you didn’t stay with her, I think. The thing is, she went through a roller coaster of emotions and (sexy) ‘needs’ in just a couple of minutes!. Yes, I understand that sometimes you just wanna go with what your body wants, but not when there is a mere possibility to land in jail for it (I know, I know… the forbidden, dangerous and politically incorrect can be really hot). I mean, couldn’t she wait for a empty road in the middle of nowhere or try a ‘different’ approach ;) to the hornyness while you were driving?
Sexy and funny story, but I think I can see a potential drama queen in your brazilian goddess.
Comment by MindyMom
| January 26th, 2009
That’s some third date! I must admit I have been guilty of sudden onset horniness, but only with someone I’ve been in a relationship with for a while. The busy road though? No thanks. Probably a good thing you dodged that bullet
MindyMom´s last blog post..Finding the Right Man & Shopping for Jeans
Comment by Susan
| January 26th, 2009
Um – yes: the story (and the lady) is both nuts and funny. I guess I’d be too chaste to do it on the side of the road with a bunch of rubberneckers watching, too. (Oh, and I can think of a few puns with “rubberneckers” but we’ll let that go!) ;)
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Comment by T
| January 26th, 2009
Ha! Susan, you’re too funny with your puns!
It is true that as women, we do usually ask for what we want. And I too have been guilty of shameless exhibitionism (who ME?). It does sound like she was pouting a bit that she didn’t get her way. That is not fun in any relationship, be it for sex or something else!
Still, it makes for a great story. Sexy and funny. Thanks for the giggle!
T´s last blog post..The Riddle that is "T"
Comment by Laura
| January 26th, 2009
See THESE dates are the ones I LOVE!!
Sounds like fun DH :) Next time pull over man!
Laura´s last blog post..Tweet Up
Comment by dadshouse
| January 26th, 2009
No doubt, this woman was an exhibitionist. My question: was she really horny right at that moment? Or was she just testing me? Pushing me to the edge to see how far I’d go, either in terms of sexual exhibitionism, or power/control (she says “jump”, I say “how much lubricant?”)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| January 26th, 2009
I’m thinking I would have said, “Hey, how about if I pull over and you just get out!”
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..All The World’s A Stage
Comment by Vinomom
| January 26th, 2009
I’m with Teri – What a lunatic! Urges are one thing, and being spontaneous is fine, but F’ing on the side of the road is just GROSS!
Vinomom´s last blog post..Can You Name This Song?
Comment by Attainingme
| January 26th, 2009
Wow! Awesome story. I don’t think she was testing you. I think she was incredibly horny at the thought of exhibition. . it being her aphrodisiac. Without it, she lost her appetite.
Attainingme´s last blog post..Pet peeves intrigue me
Comment by Exception
| January 26th, 2009
Wow…um, just wow!!! I suppose one needs to take advantage of the iron while it is hot?!
Sometimes I would like to tell this or that man… you snooze you lose… or he who hesitates… After all, it is nice to have a man respond to a woman’s desires and drives over it being the other way around…!
Exception´s last blog post..In Pursuit of…
Comment by loriann
| January 26th, 2009
Polyamorous AND an exhibitionist that’s hot. Going at it roadside, during stop and go traffic, with families and children viewing, even hotter! DH, I’m so glad you were thinking with your head! It wasn’t a test ~ she was just very very off! Could we say lacking moral character? Love Teri’s take.
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| January 26th, 2009
Hey, the construction workers could have held up signs numbered 1 to 10 to judge you on your performance!!
Comment by Mike
| January 26th, 2009
Ah that’s what I love about hispanic women the sex. It’s also what I hate about them the craziness.
Mike´s last blog post..Capt. Subtext & his Girls
Comment by Leah
| January 26th, 2009
Oh god this post made me laugh. Sexy and funny for sure. Sorry you missed the moment…but at least you knew yourself well enough that it wouldn’t have worked out so well for you. That would have been a nice time to have a car with tinted windows, eh? :)
Leah´s last blog post..Once upon a potty…
Comment by katherine.
| January 26th, 2009
I wonder if the signs which read:
“fines doubled in construction zones”
apply to lewd acts?
smile.
katherine.´s last blog post..five oh ——> 49er forever…
Comment by krn
| January 26th, 2009
Katherine’s comment above is hilarious and Single Mom in New England’s made me laugh wildly, too.
What a great, crazy, sexy and funny date story. I could see pulling over at night perhaps, but in broad daylight with traffic crawling by? Wow, that’s intense urgency on her part or huge testing. I don’t don’t buy her wondering what you pulled over for later on. She had to know you were considering following up on that offer in some way. Quite an offer, that. Aye Carumba (or however that’s spelled)!
Comment by Kristie
| January 27th, 2009
I LOVE that story! About 15 years ago when my husband & I were dating (we have been married 10 years now) I started ripping off my clothes as we were parked at a beach. He stopped me since there were cars driving by. He still brings it up to this day & regrets not letting me do what I wanted at the time! Point of the story, let the horny girl do what she wants no matter where you are!!
Comment by QTMama
| January 27th, 2009
DH, you find some DOOSIES, seriously. Wow. *laugh*
QTMama´s last blog post..Unpremeditated Stuff
Comment by Gennaro @ Enduring Wanderlust
| January 27th, 2009
That’s pretty funny. Think she helped herself to an extra couple of wine tastings when you weren’t paying attention? Crazy experience, but perfect for a blog writer!
Gennaro @ Enduring Wanderlust´s last blog post..6 Steps To A Lucky Chinese New Year
Comment by Cara
| August 17th, 2009
Wow…that is an interesting story. For now, I think I have decided to lay low on trying to Start Love. I am focusing on starting my career, and when the time feels right again, I’ll dive in. I don’t know if I should laugh at this story or not. I don’t think I would have the guts to ask someone to just pull over, but hey. Sexy and funny isn’t me. Don’t think of it as a lost opportunity. Maybe Miss Right will do it for you someday! ;)