Some Text Messages Deserve a Truckers Salute
Remember the woman I met on craigslist who wanted to meet-up during the dinner hour at the most expensive restaurant in town for “drinks”?
We had used a combination of phone calls and text messages to try to sync up. Finally, she cancelled the whole thing, texting that she had a family commitment. A week later, she texted to reschedule, only to flake again. (At which point Dad’s House readers joined me in giving her the proverbial Trucker’s Salute.)
She recently called me again. WTF? She said she’s new to online dating, and had met some crazy guys, some of whom were stalking her now with sexy text messages and rude phone calls. She was ready to quit the whole online thing. But she decided I was normal, and wondered if I wanted to meet spur of the moment sometime, after all.
I’m a big fan of spur of the moment dates. Too much advance planning gets old for an old man like me. So I sort of liked her new approach. And I did find her attractive, and we had hit it off before she got all whacky with the rude text message cancellations and rescheduling.
But she insisted we weren’t setting up a date. Her plan was to just sort of send a text message or call me at the last minute to see if I could grab a drink.
Um, isn’t that considered a date? Or maybe it’s a booty call without the booty. Whatever.
Her theory is that if we happened to meet in real life, it would be more normal than online dating. So texting or calling would simply be giving fate a nudge. Like “go to this place at this time, and I’ll be there too, and we can then bump into each other like random strangers meeting in real life.”
Hmmm… interesting concept. But I have a different theory – she is date stacking, and wants to use me as a backup plan if some other date she’s going on doesn’t work out.
She promptly invited me out for a glass of wine that night, and I promptly told her I was busy. I felt like her doormat, and I was tired of her wiping her feet. Then she said Friday might work, and maybe she’d text message me then. (!!!)
I didn’t commit, and I didn’t hold my breath. And guess what? She didn’t text or call.
It’s weird. She’s like a player. I’m wondering if this is how guys have treated her, and she’s trying to turn the table, be in control. Who knows? I’ve contended before that boys are the new girls and women are the new men. It sucks, whatever she’s doing.
Of course, as much as I’m ready to shoot that trucker’s salute her direction, Dad’s House readers know me well enough that I’ll probably meet her at some point, just to get another crazy dating story. (As if this dating story isn’t crazy enough already).
That is, unless after scheduling she sends another rude text message cancellation. Last minute, of course.
All together now:
Extend your middle finger
Raise your hand into the air
Now you’re doing the Trucker’s Salute
- Drunken Text Marriage Proposal
- Texting vs Calling for a Date
- Craigslist Dating for Women
- Texting Goodbye to a Lover
- Rude Text Messages are Nicer Than This
- When Sexy Texting Leads to Divorce
- Dinnertime Ringtones
- Online Dating Expectations
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Comment by Cathouse Teri
| February 24th, 2009
The woman is a stalker magnet! And you should stay as far away from her as you can… good dating story or not.
Happy I am to join in the group salute!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Nah… I’m Not Jaded ~
Comment by MindyMom
| February 24th, 2009
Remember it’s the crazy women that make the crazy dating stories!
Stay away from that one Dads. She’s already told you everything you need to know.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Single Mom Posting & Playing Hooky
Comment by T
| February 24th, 2009
I say go out with her! Ha! For the fun of a great blog post!!
I don’t think you’ll be taking her seriously, which is a good thing. It sounds like you’re doing exactly what she doesn’t expect you to do… which is why she’s keeping you in her cyber rolodex.
Makes for an interesting read, though, doesn’t it?
T´s last blog post..Sometimes we just need to vent
Comment by krn
| February 24th, 2009
Wellll, you got “one up” on her this time, eh Dad’s? ;)
Several, actually~
It’s your decision to see her or not, but what if she’s fabulous after all of this? That would be a major letdown because her behavior to this point tells you plenty about what she’s capable of. You deserve a wonderful, kind woman and her open door, instead of the mat treatment.
As much as I enjoy your weird date stories, I’m not sure this one would be worth putting up with anymore flaky moves from her. Unless on some level, you also find it entertaining?
I haven’t flipped a sassy bird in quite some time and it was sort of fun over my coffee this morning, alone in the house with no little eyes to witness it. Come to think of it, how did I ever get through a divorce without at least a few of these flying? Guess things weren’t as bad as they seemed. LOL.
Comment by Laura
| February 24th, 2009
I would go with her – simply for the story!!!
Because I HATE that kind of thing! I am all for spontaneous but actually BE spontaneous – dont tease me!
Laura´s last blog post..To those who held me up
Comment by QTMama
| February 24th, 2009
Loonie. She is a LOON. She sounds really fricking nuts DH. Throw your purse at her and run in the other direction. Oh wait, okay wallet. Throw wallet and run in the other direction.
QTMama´s last blog post..Cleaning House and I’m The Cat Lady
Comment by dadshouse
| February 24th, 2009
We’ve got a bipartisan response here to the question: should I have a drink with this woman for the sport of a good blog post? Some say “aye!”, some say “nay!” I find that amusing.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to chase her down. I agree she’s not someone to get close to. But if she calls or texts me again…? Who knows.
Krn – I am picturing you flipping the bird over morning coffee. Too funny!
Comment by Honey
| February 24th, 2009
I think it is weird that she is doing things this way. I have never understood the “prove your own worth by treating other people as an option” thing that PUA’s espouse. I think it is simple respect to make a plan with someone and keep it. We all have lives to plan around – making plans spur of the moment is one thing, but being disrespectful is another.
Honey´s last blog post..National Justice for Animals Week
Comment by Elaine at Lipstickdaily
| February 24th, 2009
Salute . . . check. Well deserved. I LOVE the boys are the new girls and women are the new men.
Elaine at Lipstickdaily´s last blog post..Margarita Moment
Comment by PhenomenalMama
| February 24th, 2009
Whoa. I never understood the whole “playing the field” thing. I’ll admit that I haven’t dated that many men, but if I’m into someone, then I don’t have the time or the effort to pursue things with other people. And I figure if I still want to keep “playing the field”, then I’m just not that into him…so why waste my time?
PhenomenalMama´s last blog post..I Miss Them
Comment by suburbansingle
| February 24th, 2009
This is when I’d change the name on her phone number in my address book to FLAKE, and not take anymore calls or respond to any txts. She just likes getting you to jump every time she pokes at you. Blech.
Comment by Eathan
| February 24th, 2009
I think I’ve given or been given a Convoy of the Truckers Salute. haha
I like the idea…I think I’ll spread the idea around more.
Eathan´s last blog post..Question From A 15yr Old Reader
Comment by Mike
| February 24th, 2009
Women like that I just stay away from. Sharing all the crazy people you attract doesn’t help either. There’s probably a reason they’re attracted to you.
Mike´s last blog post..Damn You To Hell!!!
Comment by dadshouse
| February 24th, 2009
Mike – that’s a great talking point. I’m not sure I attract these types of women more than any other guy. I think it’s more that I like writing about these types of women. I don’t write about the “normal” women I meet. Just as Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way – I think that unhappy dates are unhappy in their own way. That’s what makes them interesting learning experiences, and entertaining reads.
Have I learned from my unhappy dates? Yes! A lot! I have far more self confidence now. I recognize when I’m being used, and step back. Used to be I would wag my tail and hang my tongue like a good puppy, feeding off any positive energy a woman sent my way. I’m more discerning now.
I think I used to attract women who loved fawning over the “broken” man inside me. I soaked up their attention. The problem is, women like that know they are in control, and if you don’t do or say things exactly the way they want, they withhold their affection. They ignore you. The relationship is set up in a way that they know their puppy dog broken man will come back to them.
Or so they think.
I’m no longer that broken man. When I see that happening between me and a woman, I recognize the broken nature of that relationship, and let it go. It’s simply not a healthy situation for me to maintain contact, unless the woman can meet me on equal footing, and not demand to stay in control with me wagging my tail.
I also have a longstanding policy not to blog about women I am currently in a relationship with. You may have noticed, there hasn’t been a peep out of me following my tantric sex posts of last week. I’m not saying anything. I’m just saying…
Comment by Lance
| February 24th, 2009
This would be a fun one. I would probably meet her for the spur-of-the-moment thing, then game her up to the hilt and sleep with her. Then, I’d probably ditch. That’s what she gets for playing with a player.
Lance´s last blog post..Tips for Surviving a Recession (What to do BEFORE You Get Laid Off)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| February 24th, 2009
I think everyone here needs to go see the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I’m not kidding. :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Nah… I’m Not Jaded ~
Comment by katherine.
| February 24th, 2009
Teri is totally right…or maybe just read the book…then again half the problems with online dating are a direct result of “You’ve Got Mail”….
katherine.´s last blog post..be good at life
Comment by Exception
| February 24th, 2009
Texts… unfortunately they don’t allow us the opportunity to demonstrate the gesture in full and living color! ;)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| February 24th, 2009
The only problem with dating, online or off, is that people refuse to see it just as it is. A way to meet people and get to know whether or not you are compatible. That’s it. Plain and simple.
I love the message in the movie that you just gotta hang in there until you come across someone who thinks you are the exception.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Nah… I’m Not Jaded ~
Comment by mama llama
| February 24th, 2009
I agree in the date-stacking theory. That’s just rude, in my opinion.
But hey…for “experimental” purposes, since you have a one-up on her by knowing her motives without her realizing you know her motives, it could be an interesting read to expose the encounter.
Funny. You sure have the stories, Dads. Good for you.
Be well.
Comment by dadshouse
| February 24th, 2009
Exception – my cell phone has a camera. I could text her a trucker’s salute, no problem. Maybe I should?
Comment by movin down the road
| February 24th, 2009
I had no idea you could get a date off Craigslist. I sold my snowboard on it. I thought it was for stuff like that!
Comment by Charles
| February 24th, 2009
All’s fair in love and war. Perhaps you should just throw out another idea and meet in a group setting instead. Or maybe she’s just nuts and is trying to jerk you around for revenge against men in general.
Charles´s last blog post..First Time Home Buyer Tax Credit
Comment by Susan
| February 24th, 2009
“Exception – my cell phone has a camera. I could text her a trucker’s salute, no problem. Maybe I should?”
Boy, before you do that you better be prepared for what SHE might text you back. Who knows? Maybe a trucker’s salute is her thing?!
As for her claiming to be new at this, or weirded out by the online thing, that’s a pretty poor excuse for her poor behavior, in my opinion. She sounds like a flake at best and playing games at worst.
Comment by searchingwithin
| February 24th, 2009
This gal’s a nutjob. Trucker’s salute.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..Is Your "Attraction Radar" Broken?
Comment by Lori
| February 24th, 2009
I hate all the game playing. If you want to meet someone you show up when you set a date. I agree this lady is a loon. If you go out with her, she may never leave you alone.
I WISH guys were the new girls, but I haven’t met any that were yet, they’re all still the same old guys. ; )
Comment by badmuthablogger
| February 24th, 2009
The woman’s a nutter. Definitely a few sandwiches short of a picnic. You are WAY out of her league, my friend, steer clear. Sending her a trucker’s salute sounds like fun, but I wouldn’t engage your energy with hers. She’s not on the tantra trip, so why waste your time? Loser. Lose her.
badmuthablogger´s last blog post..Anniversary reminisces
Comment by Ben
| February 25th, 2009
Congrats on tantric sex woman, looks like everyone missed that line. :P
Women devour that new-agey stuff… hmm, maybe i’ll look up a tantric breathing workshop in LA. ;P
Comment by Canadian Bald Guy
| February 25th, 2009
“Full sack to share
Bringin flash and glare
Got the long hair swingin’ middle finger in the air.”
- Kid Rock, “American Bad Ass”
While I would appreciate hearing a crazy dating story, I gotta respect the decision to NOT go see her and feed her ego. Consider me giving her the Trucker Salute from Canada in your honor.
Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post..No seempathay!!!
Comment by Leah
| February 26th, 2009
Yeah, crazy women and men are so much more fun to write about :)
Sounds like this one does indeed deserve a strongly extended middle finger in her direction. Good for you for trusting your gut and passing on the flakiness.
Leah´s last blog post..Creative Emergence
Comment by CourtneyRyan
| March 6th, 2009
I’m with the camp that say’s meet her for a drink and get some more blog fodder out of the deal. If I find them at all tolerable I meet them for no other reason than it makes a good story.
CourtneyRyan´s last blog post..haiku returns