Comments on: Fathers and Daughters – What a Dad Needs to Know

By: robert dimond

robert dimond — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:43:06 +0000

My 21-year old daughter moved into her own apartment near her office. Of course it makes a lot of sense, except that it scares her dad half to death.
“She has to find her own way,” my wife said. “She has to build up some independence,” she added. “She will meet a lot of new friends,” she also said.
It was that last comment – those “new friends”– that bothered me. Would they all really be “friends”? Or would they be predators – thieves, rapists, even killers?
Of course I am not the first father to worry about his young daughter striking out on her own and living by herself in an apartment. But this was my daughter, and I was going to worry as much as I wanted. But beyond that, I wanted to make sure that she was as safe as I could possibly make her.
After a few weeks went by, I asked my daughter, Melinda, how things were going and if she had encountered any problems or had any safety concerns. When she paused before answering I knew that something was wrong. But of course she didn’t want to get me worried and to start saying “I told you so.”
“I have been getting some screwy phone calls,” she said. “I think they are just guys who want to have some fun. But they are a bit scary. You just never know, because I am alone and maybe somebody would like to verify that so that they would know there is no one here to help me in case of a threat.”
I knew that there would be moments like this, so I had to maintain my composure and assure her that there was something we could do to help her with this problem. What this something was I had no clue.
There is a man in my office who I go to for all questions related to what kind of help is out there for any kind of problem I can raise. He lives on the computer and he is an encyclopedia of computer help knowledge. So I went to him with my problem. Of course he had an answer.
“What your daughter needs to do is to make sure these callers know there are a lot of different people living at her place,” he said. “No one would dare attempt anything when they realize she is not only not alone, but there are several others either living there or visiting often.”
“So,” I asked, “you’re saying she has to get some roommates? Her place really is not that big. I’m not sure that’s going to work.”
“Not roommates” he said, “just their voices.” That’s when he told me about The Voice Changer, which you can get at http://www.yoursecurityandsafety.com/voicechanger.htm.
“With The Voice Changer,” he said, “your daughter can answer the phone every time with a different voice, just by pressing a button.”
There are two versions, he said, TVC-1 disguises your voice by digitizing it; the degree of change can be adjusted as you are speaking by pressing a button on the front of the unit. Melinda can make it sound like a man or just a different person. She can even make it sound like a robot.
TVC-2 has 8 different voice changing settings. Just press a button and a man can sound like a stranger, a woman like a man, a granddad like a child, etc.
That was the answer, no doubt. I ordered TVC-2, gave it to my daughter, explained how to use it and suddenly the strange phone calls have halted. To callers who don’t know her, it probably sounds as though she is running a rooming house. Good. I haven’t heard too many instances of a rooming house being invaded by a predator.

By: SDMktg

SDMktg — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:37:27 +0000

Showing up is definitely important. I remember my sister being really mad when my dad and his then wife chose to attend the one Christmas Eve service that she wasn’t in her senior year of high school. I was was impressed when he introduced me at a housewarming party and told the person what college I went to until my sister told me he asked her where I went a few minutes earlier.

This is a great list.

By: Leah

Leah — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:58:37 +0000

What a sweet post. You and your daughter are lucky to have one another. Wish all dads were as conscious and thoughtful as you :) Leah´s last blog post..Creative Emergence

By: Canadian Bald Guy

Canadian Bald Guy — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 01:58:06 +0000

I'm bookmarking this post. My daughter is 10 and is constantly telling her mom (already) that she wants to "move in with daddy". And for as much as I'd love to have that happen, I'm afraid of her upcoming teenage years. Thank goodness other single dads have been through the same thing. Great stuff here. Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post..No seempathay!!!

By: justrun

justrun — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 01:56:50 +0000

That bottom line is 100% true, and makes all the difference in the world. I'm speaking from experience, or lack thereof. justrun´s last blog post..It’s been going around

By: Exception

Exception — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:40:52 +0000

This is a topic that is close to my heart. At the end of the day, I honestly believe that it is about love and building a relationship that is singular to the father and the daughter. Dads are important, but girls survive quite well without them too. Perhaps it is that a dad can provide a lot of enrichment when he is involved and engaged and everything...but the reverse can reverse the impact? In the end, there just isnâ€™t an instruction book. Unless parents realize the significance of their role, demonstrating love and support. Point is, parents need to get it, dads and moms alike. If they don't get it, is the damage greater if they stay involved but not involved or if they are not involved at all? (I am way too mental today) Exception´s last blog post..How Time Flies

By: Hadley

Hadley — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:39:52 +0000

What a great post! I really believe that having a healthy relationship with her Dad is a wonderful gift in and of itself for any girl, and helps her in all of her future relationships with men.
The only point I have a different view on than you is when it comes to meeting the boyfriend. I think if he wants to take her out, he should know from firsthand experience that she has adults firmly in her corner who are watching to see that she’s treated with respect! I don’t see the analogy with her meeting your romantic interests…you have the benefit of experience and can take care of yourself. Teen girls can benefit from a little (not too much) help navigating beginning to date. I know my high school boyfriends were kept on their toes by having to sit in the living room for a few minutes with my Dad before we left from time to time!