Teen Responsibility by the Truckload
My daughter’s truck needed an oil change. Me being a helpful dad, I offered to take it in while she was at school.
Okay, it’s not really “her” truck – it’s her grandfather’s. His hauling-stuff-around days are pretty much behind him, and her hauling-her-ass to school, soccer, and track days are in full swing. So he’s happy to let her drive it. One day, he might even sell it to her at a family price.
I don’t like the quickie oil change franchise stores, and instead prefer to use my regular mechanic. That was great for the truck, since it has a nasty engine squeak we wanted checked out. I waited until the rain let up this week, then tossed my bike in the truck bed with the intention of cycling back home to work while the mechanic did his work.
Here’s where the problems started.
I turned on the engine, and the CD player was blaring! Okay, my daughter’s in high school. I’d done the same thing when I was her age. I turned the volume down, and listened to Abba as I drove.
On the way to the mechanic, I noticed the gas gauge wasn’t just low, it was on empty! Damn. I pulled into the nearest station and put ten bucks in the tank. (My daughter later told me she was trying to stretch the gas out one more week. She’d get in the car and verbalize her wish: “Come on, you gotta hold out for one more week!” Damned if that didn’t work for her.)
When I dropped off the truck with the mechanic, and pulled out my bike, it started raining. Doh! No worries, I could dry off at home. But wouldn’t you know, it didn’t just rain, it poured – and only during my ride – drenching me to the bone. The rain let up as soon as I arrived at my house.
A few hours later the mechanic called. Bad news. The rear tire tread was too low for the truck to be safely driven (especially in the rain), and the front tires were 1/32” away. He doesn’t sell tires – so this is like a massage therapist noticing you need a root canal. Just take care of it soon!
But wait, there’s more! That squeak? Belt tensioner needs to be replaced. Belts too.
Oh, and the front brakes are pretty much gone.
WTF!
What kind of grandfather lets his granddaughter drive a death machine like this!? (just kidding).
No worries, all these things can be repaired. Right? Um… for $600. Not including new tires.
Okay, at this point I wondered why I suddenly have to pay to fix problems that already existed on a truck I don’t own. I tell the mechanic to hold off, and I call my ex.
Turns out we can buy the truck from her dad if we want. She can negotiate him down to cover some of the repairs. Blue book value is $3500. So now I’m looking at $1750 for my share, plus some portion of tires and repairs.
WTF! This was supposed to be an oil change.
My ex and I talked things over. We both didn’t want to dump that sort of money into our daughter’s car. I mean, what happened to riding your bike everywhere, getting a job at Taco Bell, saving every penny until you could afford your own wheels? Oh, that’s right. We live in Silicon Valley where some kids are given new Beemers when they turn sixteen.
My ex and I agree that we need to make a plan – between us, our daughter, and the grandfather. Who will pay for what. Who will own the vehicle. Who will be responsible for maintaining it going forward.
Does this sound like a chance to let our daughter learn about fiscal responsibility? Oh, yeah!
I broke the news to my daughter, and she took it in stride.
“It sucks being a responsible adult,” she said.
“Ha,” I said. “We’ve got you on responsibility training wheels. Wait until you’re out there on your own!”
Quarter tank of gas: $10
Oil change: $42
Life lesson for a teen about fiscal responsibility: Priceless
[Read the followup post: Get a Job!]
- Fathers and Daughters – What a Dad Needs to Know
- Dad and Daughter Hit the Pump
- Parking Ticket at Astronomy Class
- Kids Esteem
- Free Range Kids
- Co-Parenting – How To Deal With an Ex
- I Can’t BS My Kids Anymore
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Comment by MindyMom
| March 5th, 2009
“Responsibility training wheels” I love it!
This is a great story Dads. A day in the life with a teen. My daughter took out her transmission not long ago by following other kids in driving over “a hill” as a short cut out of school. The repair was costly but she had to go without a car for a while and is contributing to the expense of the repair now.
Sorry about the rain and the day. Good that you can see the humor in it all!
MindyMom´s last blog post..Petty and a Waste of Money
Comment by Lori
| March 5th, 2009
Too funny! It was only supposed to be an oil change!
But its not so funny when its your money. My brake lights stopped working. It cost me $700 for an electrical switch. The part alone was 500 bucks. I don’t know what I’m going to do when my twins start driving. Two at once!
I’m still laughing about the empty gas tank, and your daughter wishing for it to last another week!
Comment by Elaine at Lipstickdaily
| March 5th, 2009
Great story . . . NOT looking forward to the teen years! At least you didn’t find an ashtray under the seat or a roach clip stuck to the visor!
Elaine at Lipstickdaily´s last blog post..Makeup Sex
Comment by PhenomenalMama
| March 5th, 2009
It’s good that you’re teaching your daughter some respsonbility. I think all too many parents take the “easy road” and do too much for their kids. There’s a fine balance to be had between being compassionate and understanding and letting them stand on their own two feet. Sounds like you’ve definitely found it.
PhenomenalMama´s last blog post..Parenting My Inner Child
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| March 5th, 2009
You all just wait. In ten years, David will be telling this same story with a few different details. :)
Daughters need their dads.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Just Another Of The Lights of My World
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| March 5th, 2009
If this was my family, my grandpa would have paid for all the repairs, since it is HIS truck, and let me continue to drive it for free, without having to buy it. (guess I might have been spoiled?) I wouldn’t buy a old truck for a teen anyway -it’s not going to take her too far into the college years – when she will really need a reliable set of wheels, and when you will be worrying about if it’s breaking down on her and you’re too far to help… Just my 2 cents… :)
Comment by katherine.
| March 5th, 2009
I have mentioned here before that I considered a car for the kids (not a new one…and certainly not a bmw) a necessity. Living in the mountains…sports, church group, music lessons…school events. If they didn’t drive themselves (and the younger sibs) then I would have to. Bikes are not an option in the mountains.
I would be spending the money on gas, et cetera for my car. A trip skiing or something…they usually paid for the gas.
All three were required to have summer jobs…and had significant responsibility in other areas. (the older two are financially independent…which is pretty cool)
Comment by krn
| March 5th, 2009
My favorite part of the story was her willing the gas to hold out for another week. Beginner’s luck, or some such, would have kept it going for miles. ;)
The truck sounds like a safe vehicle for a new driver and a cooler option than all those sick (do 17 year olds still use this word?) new, shiny Beemers in the school parking lot. I went to a school with lots of Beemers, Porsches, and Volvo wagons around and proudly parked my self purchased VW bug right next to them.
I love that your family is working through this together with everyone contributing ideas and pitching in. That’s a great lesson for your daughter, too.
Comment by T
| March 5th, 2009
What a great story!! And your teen daughter sounds better than I was… I was a bit spoiled, I’ll admit it. My dad would tell me how much everything was but he would begrudgingly pay for it anyway.
Aw! Thanks Dad!
T´s last blog post..Healthy negotiating
Comment by dadshouse
| March 5th, 2009
Cathouse Teri – those few different details… finding something dubious (or should I say doobie-ous) under the seat? Being a grandpa and giving someone a “free” beater to drive? Letting my daughter fill my tank with gas? Priceless images, all…
T – I used to pay for everything, back when the economy was good. Now it’s time for my teen to earn her own spending money. (Her mom and I will help with a car, we just aren’t going to give it to her on a silver platter)
Comment by ilinap
| March 5th, 2009
Thanks for making me relive my teenage years. I wasn’t allowed to have passengers in my car. Damned if my dad didn’t bust me every time.
ilinap´s last blog post..Time Travel
Comment by Janet
| March 5th, 2009
I like the way you handled the situation. I think too many kids get things handed to them by their parents these days. They grow up with a sense of entitlement which doesn’t work well once they’re adults.
Back when I was a teen, my parents paid for half of my car and I paid the other half in monthly installments. Oh yeah, and they charged me interest too!! :)
Janet´s last blog post..To text, or not to text–
Comment by Vinomom
| March 5th, 2009
That was a GREAT story … but you didn’t really say what the details were. What did you end up negotiating?
To this day (11 years later) one of my biggest accomplishments was buying my own care at by the time I was 17 with money saved up from working at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I had $1100 and I got an $1100 car. But it lasted me through high school.
Will I make my daughter do the same? I imagine I’ll match her dollar for dollar. Your daughter’s been taking the truck for free up until now – time to put her money where her right foot’s been!
Then again I do understand the difference because of the area you live in. I imagine some things are just expected. For me I knew getting a car of my own was not even an option unless I paid for it myself.
I hope your daughter rises to the challenge.
Vinomom´s last blog post..Work Stuff that will Bore the Snot Out of You
Comment by Robin
| March 6th, 2009
Ah, yes, fiscal responsibility. I remember buying my first car, and no one telling me that it uses oil, never mind that the oil needs changing and replacing occasionally. My niece goes in for her driver’s license test this weekend, and my daughter’s still about 2 years away from driving. Thankfully. Also thankful that you didn’t really take your daughter in for an oil change. I think that’d hurt ;) (Please re-read your first sentence if you’re not sure what I’m referring to.) Glad you and her mother are working together on this. You daughter will benefit from this.
Robin´s last blog post..Within 6 words.
Comment by dadshouse
| March 6th, 2009
Robin – nice catch! Nothing like blogging for first-draft gaffes like that. My daughter’s car, not my daughter, needs an oil change… doh! (I’ll fix it. thanks.)