A Happy Couple
As a divorced single parent, I sometimes forget that I used to be part of a happy healthy couple. Even though we split up nine years ago, I still have plenty of fond memories from our marriage. Our time together wasn’t all bad. Far from it.
Remember my Swiss fondue story? That happened during my marriage. I’ve told that story to my kids a couple of times. (For some reason, I can get away with telling them stories more than once. If I tried that here, you all would just click on to another post! Ha.)
My kids delight in hearing stories about their mother and me. If we’re watching a movie that’s set in Rome, I’ll tell them something about their mom’s and my Italian honeymoon. If we’re out picnicking in the park, I’ll reminisce about big family picnics she and I helped plan in our early marital years. If we’re eating fresh strawberries with chocolate, I’ll tell them about the time their mom and I drove to LA just to get chocolate-dipped strawberries from this one particular Westwood café.
Life can be tremendous fun. Frivolous moments are to be cherished. My kids revel in knowing their parents were once in love.
And so today, since I’m not currently part of a thriving couple, I wanted to share a post by someone who is. Ilina from Dirt & Noise is someone I read daily. We met through my blogging with Silicon Valley Moms Blog and her blogging at a sister site, Deep South Moms Blog. She’s married with two kids, and her blog is a treat. Cocktail lovers will especially love her 5:00 Friday posts.
This may seem a weird post for me to suggest single parents go read, but Happily Ever After is one by her I really enjoyed. It’s not here to imply we single parents are doing any less of a job than a married couple. I simply found it to be an uplifting reminder of how great a wonderful marriage can be.
Think back to the good times you had when you were part of a happy healthy couple. Who knows – maybe it will happen again for all of us.
Now then, I do believe it’s Happy Hour. I wonder what cocktail is shaking at Dirt & Noise…
- Tantric Sex Breathing Exercise for Couples
- Feminine Energy is a Very Good Thing
- Woman of My Dreams, Manifested
- Relationship Compatibility
- Jon and Kate Divorce – What the Future May Hold
- A Single Mom’s Dream Man
- Marriage Advice from a Single Father
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Comment by PhenomenalMama
| March 13th, 2009
It’s good to be reminded of the the positive aspects of pretty much anything, in my opinion… :)
PhenomenalMama´s last blog post..That’s Just Me Getting Over You
Comment by MindyMom
| March 13th, 2009
PM has a good point. I also agree it’s good to share happy memories about past events with your kids other parent. They do like hearing we were once happy together.
And happily ever after would be so nice right now.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Women & Self Doubt
Comment by mama llama
| March 13th, 2009
It is also important to recall that it is not merely positive moments that create a successful marriage. Some enter into marriage expecting, perhaps due to upbringing as in my husband’s case, that marriage does not involve conflict and that those who are not always peachy-keen are the ones in trouble. It is nice to have good. However, with two (plus, if there are children) different personalities living under the same roof, it is impossible to expect that everything will run smoothly all the time. Conflict-resolution is an important cycle that must be taught and learned. I fear that my children will not learn this cycle from their Top Two Living Life examples as He is unwilling to ever conflict–just throw a tantrum, break a window, whatever, and he’ll get his way.
The good times? Usually when with others, never alone together. Always in function of a group, but we never had the strength alone as a couple.
But necessary reflections nonetheless. It helps to see the other in a softer light.
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog post..once upon a time
Comment by ilinap
| March 13th, 2009
Thanks for the tip of the hat on my post. What I love is that you share memories of your marriage with your kids. I never got that from my parents. In fact, I only have one photo of them together smiling. They are looking opposite directions and laughing at presumably the same joke. I cherish that photo, even though it doesn’t match any memories I have. Your kids are lucky, and you are an awesome father.
Comment by krn
| March 13th, 2009
The happiest times in our nine year marriage were before my former husband had career success and all of the pressure that comes along with that. We savored every minute of the vacations we went on when we had saved for months to be able to afford to go. Some of my favorite memories are when we used to rent a motorcycle in a foreign town or city. He’d navigate and drive and I’d pack a yummy picnic of local treats for us to share and snap photos from the back of the bike. I’ll share some memories and photos of these trips with our boy soon. He’d love them. Not sure he’s seen pics of his parents together when they were young, beautiful and cool. He might not recognize us! ;)
Thanks so much for the reminder of happy times this morning! There is nothing like love when it’s felt fully. Although I’m happy being single now, I also look forward to being completely head over heels in love again. Very nice stuff, that~
Comment by krn
| March 13th, 2009
Hmm, I just realized that I used the word they in the paragraph above, instead of we. That’s telling.
Comment by T
| March 13th, 2009
I do love reading about happy marriages! I so enjoyed being married.
Thanks for the reminder! Enjoy your weekend.
T´s last blog post..I am that
Comment by Lance
| March 13th, 2009
Cool post, thanks for sharing!
Lance´s last blog post..Busy, Good Things
Comment by Mark
| March 13th, 2009
I love that you have the awareness and ability to share your happy moments with your ex with them. This is very important. Too many of us focus on the negative and seem to forget to beautiful moments and memories.
Thanks for the link to Ilina’s site. Looking forward to what she wrote.
Mark´s last blog post..Must We Choose Between a Spiritual Path and a Material Path of Success?
Comment by Paul U
| March 13th, 2009
maybe you are missing her.
Paul U´s last blog post..Guess the pr update contest
Comment by dadshouse
| March 13th, 2009
Mama Llama – you are so right about conflict resolution. That’s something my ex and I didn’t master. It wasn’t knock down, drag out fights. I was us not finding compromises that allowed us both to be happy and grow in the directions we needed to move as individuals.
Ilina – that photo sounds priceless, and ironically foretelling. Thanks again for letting me feature your post! I really love what you wrote in it.
Krn – love the motorcycle trips! That sounds so fun. And yes, it does say something that you referred to you and your ex as “they” not “we” in one sentence. Maybe it just means you’ve moved on.
Mark – thanks. I agree it’s important to be able to retell those good moments, even though their mom and I are split up. btw, I love your blog! Everyone go read it. The Naked Soul
Paul – good point. But maybe all I’m missing is being part of a two-parent family again. I’m ready to share my life.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| March 13th, 2009
My kids don’t really relish in stories about their dad and me. There’s just too much yucky stuff in there. If I tell a story about some happy event, everyone gets that glazed over look in their eyes. Sort of like when people try to tell lovely stories about a person at their funeral, while everyone smiles and nods and thinks the same thing, “Too bad we can’t just say he was an asshole.”
All bitter and very little sweet.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..The Thing About War
Comment by Laura
| March 13th, 2009
HA! How is your timing!
This past week when I saw my ex and actually wasnt fulled with the anger and intensity I have been I actually started remembering the good times and him and I actually were able to interact in the meeting rather well! It was nice!
We do need to be reminded sometimes how wonderful love can be!
I am lucky – I get to see it daily with my parents!
Laura´s last blog post..Happiness
Comment by Robyn
| March 13th, 2009
Your blog echoed some of my own thoughts and feelings. I miss having an active partner and support system. I miss being part of a team; however, I am weary at the thoughts of dating and committing again. I am afraid my parents are the last happy couple on earth. Today allowed me to see that a healthy marriage is possible,and maybe it isn’t something to fear and avoid. Now, this sounds good. I wonder if I can put it into practice without having a breakdown.
Comment by The Exception
| March 14th, 2009
The comfort you feel in sharing these stories is fabulous. It is nice that your kids both know you had good times and see you interact with their mom. Good job Dad’s. Hats off to you!
The Exception´s last blog post..In The Spotlight – Cathouse Teri
Comment by Dee@VerySexyMen
| March 14th, 2009
Frivolous moments are to be cherished. Great that you remember the good times.
Dee@VerySexyMen´s last blog post..Wentworth Miller Picture Gallery
Comment by Elaine at Lipstickdaily
| March 15th, 2009
OMG . . . I love love love it that you share moments with your kids about when their parents were in love . . . AND that they love to hear it. You rock. Your kids are lucky.
Elaine at Lipstickdaily´s last blog post..In Hot Water . . . Or Not
Comment by QTMama
| March 16th, 2009
Miss Emilee, even at six, loves to hear stories about her dad and I … funny things we remember about being married. I love sharing them with her and so does he. Yeah, I hear ya on this one, DH.
QTMama´s last blog post..Calling All Singles!