Shirtless Runner
A few years ago, while training for a marathon, I was logging a ton of miles and I found myself running down this one particular street pretty often. Usually, it was in the middle of the workday, since weekends I ran parks and trails. The suburbs I ran through were pretty empty, and the few people I saw were usually older.
Except for this one woman.
The first time I saw her, it was early spring. She was unloading groceries from her car and went into her house just as I passed. Still, I got a good look at her. Early-30s, attractive, Latina, triathlete fit. I vowed to run that street as often as possible.
Over the course of a few weeks, I crossed paths with her several times, always just arriving as she ducked inside. It seemed a quirk of fate that I hadn’t even said hello.
As spring weather heated up, I started running without a shirt. Don’t worry, I’m not some pastey overweight middle-aged guy you wish would cover up. I’m California born and bred, and at the time I was in great shape from marathon training. Then again, I’m also not a young 20-something guy who likes showing off. I just wanted to work on my tan.
Wouldn’t you know, the first day I ran without a shirt, hottie triathlete was out working in her front yard garden.
I have to imagine, there’s nothing worse for a woman than being hit on by a shirtless man. Unless he’s super hot and you’re at the beach. But this was a suburban street.
Still, I’d missed her so many times, there was no way I’d pass this chance up. Forget that romantic conversation starters for runners are awkward as hell. I simply stopped and said hi. She was wearing a spaghetti tank and shorts, working on her tan as she gardened.
“What are you planting?” I asked.
She looked up, and didn’t miss a beat, like she got hit on by shirtless runners all the time. “Cabbages,” she said.
“Oh, do you have a rabbit?”
She thought that was funny, and stood up. (Sometimes even I don’t get my sense of humor.)
We chatted for a bit. Turns out she did do triathlons (hence the triathlete body). She was impressed that I was training for a marathon. We swapped running race stories, and were flirting and connecting well. She had come to the Bay Area from Colombia, via Miami. She wasn’t wearing a ring.
I mentioned I’d seen her outside her house before, and asked what she was doing home on a workday.
“I’m planning my wedding,” she said. “It’s in two months.”
Damn. So much for hitting on her.
“Why are you running around here?” she asked.
“I work from home. I’m a writer.”
She swooned.
Suddenly, her questions became more probing. She wanted to know how old I was. How did I manage a lifestyle that let me run midday. (Her fiancé was slaving away in a corporate cubicle. Hey, I’d been there and done that, but I was now at a different life stage.) Was I married or divorced. Did I have kids. Did I own my home or rent. With every answer I gave, she warmed to me even more. I was striking a major chord with her. Too bad she was engaged.
“You know,” she said, “I’m not the type of girl who thinks there’s only one guy in the world for me. It’s not like I have a soul mate.”
If ever a woman was throwing the door wide open for me to ask her out, this was it. But I’m old school. If a woman is already married, she’s off limits; no discreet affairs for me. Engaged, it’s gray. I didn’t know what to do. But I figured if I did ask her out, and we did hit it off, and she did end her engagement to marry me – what’s to keep her from doing the same when a different shirtless runner came her way?
The conversation sagged. I wished her well and continued my run. I crossed her path a few more times, but we never talked again.
A year later, I saw her out with her husband walking a little dog. Her husband looked stressed and impatient, wanting to be someplace else. She seemed content to enjoy a blissful neighborhood walk on a warm spring evening with her honey. She and I exchanged glances – recognition creeped in – and I realized the life I could have offered her might have been exactly what she wanted.
To this day, I regret not asking her out when I met her on my shirtless run.
Got Spring Fever? Blog about it, then enter the latest I Rocked the House Contest: Spring Fever edition! Contest closes Thursday April 2, 2009 Noon PST. Prizes for the best entries.
- Hot Date, Cold Approach
- Meeting Women the Old Fashioned Way
- She Smiled, We Met
- How to Get Ripped Abs
- Sweet Pick Up Lines for Any Occasion
- Track Season is for Lovers
| 
Subscribe | © 2008-09 David Mott, DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.
Comment by Andrea
| March 27th, 2009
Ahh, kind of like star crossed like (or something). But I’d say you were well away from the woman considering that she was engaged and flirting and openly saying “hey if your better I’ll take you instead of the man I said I’d marry.”
You know what I mean?
I’ll have my Spring Fever contest entry up Saturday morning. Just so you know I plan to win :)
Andrea´s last blog post..Friday, Fun Friday – F2 and Candid Carrie’s Photo Friday
Comment by T
| March 27th, 2009
Wow… what a story.
It reminded me of the other story you told about the Latina who had many lovers. I wonder if it is a Latina thing?
Well… I say if you’ve got it, David, flaunt it. Flaunt that tan, marathon-running, road-cycling body! You go!
T´s last blog post..Love when I need it
Comment by vinomom
| March 27th, 2009
You seriously meet the craziest people. I think you had the right intuitions – if she’s so willing to drop her future husband what would stop her from doing the same to you?
Women like that just turn me off. If you’re not sure about the man you’re with – don’t marry him!
vinomom´s last blog post..Yes Ma’am
Comment by Mike
| March 27th, 2009
Yeah you’re better off on passing by. a) being the other guy is not a good thing if you want to run around the streets by yourself. b) yes there probably will be someone else in the future.
I know when I use to do the lawn in the humid summers without a shirt. You get some women circling the block.
Mike´s last blog post..Alone Time
Comment by MindyMom
| March 27th, 2009
Very interesting “what if” story but I’m with vinomom. She shouldn’t have married the guy if she was unsure and interested in dating someone else! No matter how fleeting the moment.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| March 27th, 2009
I agree with each and every one of the comments above.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..How to Say "Fuck Off" with Panache
Comment by searchingwithin
| March 27th, 2009
I guess I am even more “old school” than you, because I don’t believe anyone should interfere within a relationship…period.
Especially with an invitation, which states in no uncertain words how she feels and values a relationship, not just the one she is in now, but all of them. She is only shag material, in my quite honest opinion.
As far as running without the shirt; women love the male physique as much as men love ours, especially when it is working, running, playing…so go ahead, keep that shirt off, we won’t mind.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..TGIF – The Five Best Love and Relationships Articles From Around the Web – #2
Comment by searchingwithin
| March 27th, 2009
Sorry, I meant to delete the line about what type of material I feel she is. That was one comment I should have kept to myself, or at least saved for my own blog. Sorry…
searchingwithin´s last blog post..TGIF – The Five Best Love and Relationships Articles From Around the Web – #2
Comment by Will
| March 27th, 2009
You did the right thing. Having been on the other side of a similar story, I can not understand why a person would knowingly enter into an affair with someone who is “committed”. Bad news for everyone, and the accumulated effect of this phenomenon is not good for anyone.
Comment by Melifera
| March 27th, 2009
Ahhh, regret. I, too, am often wrought with hindsight over a possible missed chance (how many times have I caught eyes with ‘the one’ on the subway platform here in NY, only to have the crowd take him from me?).
Sounds like you did the right thing. Hey, I ain’t no prude, and I’m not one to get all preachy, but it sounds as though your lovely Latina still had some experimentation to work out of her system before she decided to get married…
I, for one, would rather experiment with people who haven’t promised themselves to a partner!
Melifera´s last blog post..Artist paints herself having sex with each US president…
Comment by krn
| March 27th, 2009
Great story, Dad’s. Kind of bittersweet.
It seems like missed chances may be a kind of knowing or recognition at a level that’s slightly out of our range of our current focus. It makes sense energetically to trust in this kind of crossing if I also trust synchronicity. Does that make sense? *insert twilight zone theme or favorite new age music here*
;)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| March 27th, 2009
Here’s my Spring Fever post:
http://cathouseteri.blogspot.com/2009/03/sweet-cherry-wine.html
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Sweet Cherry Wine
Comment by Jimmy
| March 27th, 2009
DH-Not to take away from your charm, but I don’t understand how someone would get engaged to somebody and then have a 10minute conversation throw doubt on their choice and then still go through with it. . . . . . .
Comment by dadshouse
| March 27th, 2009
Jimmy – my theory is that she was marrying the guy to get US citizenship, and after talking to me, she wondered if I might provide more security than her husband. But I might just be projecting.
Vinomom – I do meet crazy people, don’t I? I meet some normal ones too. But the crazy ones seem to catch my attention. Maybe because most of the normal ones go running when I come around. (Here comes that crazy shirtless runner again. Hide! Haha)
It’s funny, I know I did the right thing in not asking her out for a cup of coffee. And yet, when I saw her a year later … I guess it’s one part me being a sucker for athletic brunettes, another part me being tired of chasing women. I just want to shack up!
Comment by Shelle-BlokThoughts
| March 27th, 2009
Okay I came over here to respond to your comment over at Venus vs. Mars…when you asked WHY are some Women like that?
Here’s my answer, even though you weren’t talking to me personally…and your email isn’t connected to your comment…
It’s all in the timing! :)
About your post…I think you were right in what you did…being engaged is somewhat Black and White…and if she was like that with you…you were right in asking the question…why wouldn’t she bet that way when another Shirtless guy came along!
And…how could I pass up reading a post with Matthew his dog and NO shirt…thanks for that! :)
Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog post..Could this get any closer to my REAL life experiences?
Comment by NewSingleMama
| March 27th, 2009
You’d marry a woman who might have been marrying a guy for US citizenship simply to have someone to be committed to? DISASTER! I have a relative who did that and because she was very beautiful woman. The marriage lasted maybe 4 years and the novelty wore off. He swears it’s the greatest mistake he’s ever made.
I think you did the right thing the first time around. She could have dumped him for you because she enjoyed what you had to offer more, but then whose to say she wouldn’t get bored of you and find someone else who offered more and gone to him?
NewSingleMama´s last blog post..Crazy Week
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| March 27th, 2009
Yuck – Don’t regret not asking her out at all. I think it would have been skeezy for you to hit on an engaged woman. You said you saw her again after your conversation – if she wanted to take care of her personal affairs and then pursue you, it sounds like she could have definitely found you again.
Comment by Honey
| March 27th, 2009
I see the regret in this story and feel that it’s justified…but OTOH I think she probably regrets not standing up for herself and ending a relationship she wasno’t 100% about much, much more…
Honey´s last blog post..Moving Closer: Anger, Recession, and Relationships
Comment by Mark
| March 27th, 2009
We very rarely regret the things we have done, we often regret that which we did not do. Lesson learned and tucked away for the next time an opportunity presents it self.
Mark´s last blog post..Spring Is In the Air – Time To Clean House
Comment by katherine.
| March 27th, 2009
I’m trying to consider how I would react to some shirtless guy running through the neighborhood…and stopping to chat with me.
The green card can be a strong motivation.
I kinda feel sorry for the guy she did marry.
(of course you meet crazy people…you live in California…)
katherine.´s last blog post..wordless wednesday ~ flores encantadoras
Comment by Rachel
| March 27th, 2009
I believe in fate and if something was meant to come out of your meeting it would have. I find we are very vulnerable and in the blink of an eye our life can be altered, both for the good and bad.
Comment by Colombian
| March 28th, 2009
Wow.. this is my first comment and felt the need to post. I’m Colombian and you don’t hear of many people meeting other Colombians.
I think you did the right thing though.
Comment by barethomas
| March 28th, 2009
Definitely
Comment by barethomas
| March 28th, 2009
Sorry, my thumb slipped, hence the one-word response. You definitely did the right thing to disengage. And to stay disengaged. You were right to be chary of someone who seemed to be leaving the door half-open while suggesting that it was all but closed!
barethomas´s last blog post..Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it
Comment by Lindsay
| March 28th, 2009
If she had a single thought about going out with you, she must have not been too “into” her fiance. I think you did the right thing, she probably would have ended up doing the same thing to you! WOMEN! Can’t live with’em, can’t live without’em. hehe
Comment by mama llama
| March 28th, 2009
What-ifs can be oh-so-much-fun to ponder, though, can’t they?
Be well, Dads.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| March 29th, 2009
I don’t think what-ifs are at all fun to ponder. In fact, I find them to be excruciating, having the effect of undermining self confidence. I choose not to participate in them for that reason.
My dad taught me at a young age that it’s called “shuffling the if-deck” and it’s worth exactly nothing. You know… unless you are practicing to be a card dealer or something. ;)
Yes, you could argue that “the unexamined life is not worth living” and say that this is an example of just that. Or you could argue that it’s good to question oneself on a regular basis, thereby continually pushing oneself to improve.
But I say that examining life is something that should be more in kind with looking over and seeing. Observing so that you can glean the fulness of your experiences. But observing things that are real and not spinning your wheels on what could have been. And I think much better of confirming oneself rather than continually questioning oneself, as it leads to more purposeful thoughts and actions.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Sweet Cherry Wine
Comment by new single mama
| March 29th, 2009
Nice story.
It’s probably best that you didn’t do anything about it. But you always wonder about those chances you didn’t take…
new single mama´s last blog post..Dating report
Comment by Giovanna Garcia
| March 29th, 2009
I think your intuitions are right about not asking her out. If she would go out with you the shirtless guy, what is it to say she wouldn’t go with the next 10 shirtless guy. If she has no loyalty to her soon to be husband, she would have no loyalty to the next guy.
You are wise for walking away.
Thanks for sharing.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Giovanna Garcia´s last blog post..Believe in yourself.
Comment by Candice
| March 30th, 2009
Great story!
Candice´s last blog post..Dear Visio repair man