Glove Box Condoms
A neighbor called on a Sunday night to see if I would take her friend, who was visiting, out for drinks. The friend was an attractive woman who lived an hour away, who I had met a few times before. We liked each other enough, but never dated due to the distance between us. Well, that and the fact I’m a single dad, and she doesn’t want to be a step-mom. Deal breaking material there.
But drinks are drinks, and I’m always up for hanging out with a cool single woman. And she wanted fun company for the night.
I picked her up, and she said to take her to a not-stuffy place that serves cocktails. No problem. I headed for a local Irish pub that has a pool table and a full bar.
“You’re not going to take advantage of me tonight, are you?” she asked.
The way she said it made me think she actually wanted to hookup that night. Like she was planting the seed in my head early on so by the end of the night, I’d suggest it.
“We’re going drinking,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “I’m just giving you grief. You’re a nice guy. You’re not one of those creepy guys who keeps condoms in your glove box. Are you?”
Shit. I might actually have condoms in my glove box, leftover from a date I had the week before. On that night, I had hoped my date and I would end up in bed. But after a chemistry-less evening, we ended the night, and the relationship, with a peck on the cheek.
I wondered – had I pulled the condoms out of the glove box and put them back into my bedside table? I couldn’t remember.
All of a sudden, my neighbor’s friend opened the glove box and starts rifling through it. “If I find any condoms in here,” she said, “this date is over. Now.” She laughed to show she was joking. But she kept looking for condoms.
Forget: no glove, no love. This was all about: stockpiling glove? No love!
What could I do but drive and hope they weren’t there? Or if they were there, hope she didn’t find them? She pushed aside the CD case, several packs of gum, a folded-over brown lunch bag, the car servicing manual.
Satisfied, she closed the glove box. “See?” she said. “I knew you were a nice guy. And nice guys finish first in my book.” She gave me a flirty look.
What she didn’t know was the brown lunch bag is where I stash condoms. You see, I can’t just toss condoms in the glove box. If my kids go looking for gum, I don’t want them finding a couple of Magnums instead. I always hide condoms in a plain brown bag. I usually bring them back into the house. I’d forgotten about these. No need to tell my neighbor’s friend.
A few drinks and a pool game later, it was time to head back home. This woman was planning to stay the night with her friend (my neighbor), but I asked if she wanted to come to my place for a nightcap. (That seed she planted!) Of course she said yes. She didn’t leave until morning.
A week later, we went on a real date. But we both knew it wouldn’t work between us. It’s that single dad/step-mom thing. We decided to just be happy with our fun little hookup.
Who knew hiding condoms from my kids would get me laid?
- Rebound Sex Coffee Date
- Who Needs Protection? It’s Only a One Night Stand
- Losing FWB Benefits
- Tantric Sex – White Hot
- Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, Gavin Newsom – Move Over!
- Taking Third-Date Sex to a New Extreme
- Physical Intimacy
- Do You Spoon Naked?
- Sex, God and a Well Hung Prana
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Comment by MommaSunshine
| April 2nd, 2009
LOVE IT. lol
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..A Date and a Dream
Comment by Me Thinks
| April 2nd, 2009
I love this story. And this part killed me:
“I don’t want them finding a couple of Magnums instead.”
Me thinks you are planting your own seeds right there. Tee Hee!
In all seriousness, I have to say I appreciate your honesty when you hookup with someone you know wouldn’t ever be LTR. You know, the whole I’ll take hamburger when there is no steak available thing. I know some of the readers give you grief for wasting time on hamburger when you want steak but you know exactly what you are doing, life is about the journey and not the destination. And all that other crap :)
Comment by Andrea
| April 2nd, 2009
I read this, decided not to comment and went about my day. But it’s bothering me now.
I strictly mean no offense by this, but do people really have such casual sex these days as to necessitate condoms in their car?
Call me old fashioned, out of touch (I haven’t been on a ‘date’ with anyone but my spouse in ten years) but sounds like casual sex, someone new every week is common place.
Am I really that out of touch with the times?
Andrea´s last blog post..Writers Workshop with MamaKat
Comment by T
| April 2nd, 2009
That is awesome! What a great story!
Oh, David, it feels good to giggle this morning. Thank you. I really needed that.
T´s last blog post..Music to remind you… all is as it should be
Comment by katherine.
| April 2nd, 2009
I’m not going to be able to say “glove” box without thinking about this story…sheesh.
(I’m willing to bet she went through your medicine cabinet too…)
katherine.´s last blog post..wordless wednesday ~ flores encantadoras
Comment by Mike
| April 2nd, 2009
Glove box? I think that’s a deal breaker right there. I don’t put condoms in there anymore since I always forget them in there. Then they sit there forever and I have to toss them out without ever being uses. What a sad waste.
Mike´s last blog post..Double Standard
Comment by Eathan
| April 2nd, 2009
Great story. I think she was planning for the hook-up no matter what she found in the glove box. She wanted a easy way to introduce the idea and see how it sounded.
I have boys..so keeping condoms around just keeps the message in their head to keep sex safe.
@andrea – I think that there is a supply and demand factor. Everyone has needs and society is much different than it was for single people 5,10 or even 20 years ago.
Eathan´s last blog post..Spring Fling ‘09
Comment by MindyMom
| April 2nd, 2009
This reminds me of a joke I heard about a guy that went out to the car to get his condoms therby seemingly passing a test to sleep with his fiances sister. Having them in the glove box as opposed to in his wallet “saved” him.
Anyway, glad you got some Dads. ;)
MindyMom´s last blog post..Sick, Snow & a Selfish S.O.B.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 2nd, 2009
That was a pretty funny story, for sure. But if I had a person in my car who insisted that they were going to rifle through my glove box (even playfully), the next stop would be back to their front porch.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 2nd, 2009
By the way, I did a little clarification at my place about why I hate AFD. ;)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by Melifera
| April 2nd, 2009
“Always be prepared” is the Cubscouts motto… If only all men would remember these three words! Good for you for having your brown lunch bag filled with condoms. I say leave ‘em in your car, your bathroom, your bedroom, your basement, elevators, the beach… I just recently started to carry them- as a woman, for whatever reason, I had always felt funny toting them around, but then I realized that it’s imperative that I take control… In fact, I think it’s important that we all have that control- condoms for everyone! ‘Cause you never know…
I wrote a post about this recently:
http://www.meliferasmusings.blogspot.com/2009/03/buying-obama-condom-and-conversation-it.html
Oh- BTW- the first think I would have done had I seen that brown bag was open it, as I also have a brown bag (in a drawer in my room) in which condoms can be found!!
Melifera´s last blog post..Guess what?!
Comment by dadshouse
| April 2nd, 2009
Andrea – yes, moderng dating is like this. Read my post Hooking Up – I Just Want to Be Your Lover, in which I refernce Pulitzer-winning journalist Laura Session Stepp’s book Unhooked. Hookups are endemic to modern dating. I admit I find them frustrating; hence my Wedding Band Envy.
I also take no offense to those who disagree with choices I make. That’s the beauty of blogging – we each have walked different paths, and are living through different life experiences. We each can shed new light on each other’s perspectives.
As for condoms in the glove box – I usually would only put them there before a date, and take them out after. There is nothing worse than being at a woman’s place, things getting hot and heavy, and she says “do you have protection?” – and if I don’t, the passionate moment fizzles. Not very many women will admit to keeping condoms in their night stand, unless they have a boyfriend. (Props to Melifera)
I prefer not carrying condoms in my wallet or pocket. They’d fall out when I pay for something, or I’d forget about them.
Mike – nothing worse than an expired condom!
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| April 2nd, 2009
You know what I find interesting about this story: what did her friend think about her hooking up with you/her neighbor -do you think your neighbor encouraged it? Maybe she wanted to live vicariously through her friend!
You know they are going to be talking about how good the sex was, because that’s what girlfriends do (or at least my friends and I). And if it was good, you can be sure that she’ll come back for more!! And will it be awkward seeing your neighbor again, knowing that she knows how good (or bad) in bed you are?
I feel so high school today!! :)
Comment by cyndi
| April 2nd, 2009
Andrea, I disagree with DH’s response to your comment. It’s not ALL like that in the modern dating world. I’m just pretty sure he and I run in different types of dating circles so he doesn’t see what I’ve experienced, which is that there are lots of singles out there who aren’t into casual sex. But then, I actively seek specific types of places to find dates so that I’m more certain we’re on the same page where that’s concerned. If I broadened my search beyond that I’d likely find otherwise.
But like Dad said, we all walk our different paths and that’s what makes blogging so much fun. I love his stories & hearing his perspective on the world even though we’re very different people.
cyndi´s last blog post..First day jitters
Comment by dadshouse
| April 2nd, 2009
Cyndi’s right, not everyone engages in casual hookups. But in the dating pool I’m part of, it is a definite trend. It’s like calling vs. texting – sure there are people who would rather talk on the phone than text, and some will only talk on the phone (just as some seem to only text). Texting is a definite trend.
I will say that if I wasn’t a single parent, I would be more willing to settle for a particular girlfriend, rather than sleeping with her, but not getting otherwise involved. And there are women who only want to be my friend with benefits (or lover), because I’m a dad.
That said, I have some single mom friends who only sleep with men when they are in committed relationships. Situations and needs differ for all.
Comment by cyndi
| April 2nd, 2009
Hey DH, hope my comment didn’t come off as bein condesending! I just read it again and am not sure now. It definately wasn’t meant to be! :-)
cyndi´s last blog post..First day jitters
Comment by dadshouse
| April 2nd, 2009
Cyndi, not at all! Your comment was great. I know there are singles who aren’t into casual sex. I also know there are singles who aren’t into committed relationships. Sometimes it feels like I’m caught in the crossfire. Whether that’s due to my location, my age, my being a single dad, my own personal choice – who knows. It is what it is.
At any rate, I didn’t feel condescended upon at all. I like differing opinions on this blog, especially when it leads to a rousing debate. Here’s a post that fostered debate: I wanted a first date hike with a woman, and she wasn’t comfortable with that. Readers took sides to the tune of 60+ comments: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/05/20/whats-more-natural-than-nature-confessions-of-a-serial-online-dater-part-3/
Comment by Andrea
| April 2nd, 2009
My connection dropped so please excuse me if this posts twice.
I wasn’t judging. I was just curious if that’s what’s really going on in the dating scene.
I’m still an avid Dadshouse reader :)
Andrea´s last blog post..Writers Workshop with MamaKat
Comment by Janet
| April 2nd, 2009
DH, you cad, you.
Love the casual mention of Magnums. lol :)
Janet´s last blog post..Lost and Found.
Comment by newsinglemama
| April 2nd, 2009
I have only been on the market for a couple of months, but I can see how things can get very complicated for a single parent.
You have to take care of your needs and if you can’t find someone for a LTR, it’s total understandable to have casual encounters.
And I agree with one of the previous posters, that woman knew exactly what she wanted to do with you brother ;)
newsinglemama´s last blog post..Always something there to remind me…
Comment by Vinomom
| April 2nd, 2009
I loved this post!
I may be at a very different “life stage” as DH likes to put it – and Silicon Valley is not exactly synonymous with the circles I run in – but, I think DH has the balance down perfectly. At least in my experience.
I’ve had lots of hookups as a single mom – and I’ve been in a LTR for (OMG) five years now.
Yes! Single life is about being prepared and yes, you’ve got to be prepared, even in the car! If the mood and the chemistry strikes two consensual adults, then ride the wave! However, I think DH has made it obvious that he is out looking for something more meaningful than a one night stand.
Not sure what I’m defending here, DH, cuz that sounded defensive – for some reason that’s the thought that rolled off my fingers. I’m just trying to say I get it. Just sayin’.
PS – I thought the deadline was just THursday and I missed the noon part for the contest. So I guess I’m disqualified. But I did make an effort!
Vinomom´s last blog post..I missed the deadline – but here’s my entry anyways
Comment by dadshouse
| April 2nd, 2009
Vinomom – I will accept late contest entries, no problem!
Comment by Twenty Four At Heart
| April 2nd, 2009
I will never look at a brown lunch bag in the same way again. Particularly if it belongs to either of my two teen boys!
Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog post..Tanning Mishap!
Comment by krn
| April 2nd, 2009
I’m thinking your neighbor might be smiling at you a little differently than in the past the next time she sees you in the driveway, Dad’s. Come to think of it, in some neighborhoods, the traffic on the sidewalk out front might increase a little, too. ;)
Comment by ilinap
| April 3rd, 2009
Cracking up at the irony here. And I like how you so subtly injected your “shoe” size!
Comment by Robin
| April 8th, 2009
I don’t know why the heck she felt the right to go rifling through your glove box. But, hey, shrug, you kept yourself covered. :)
Robin´s last blog post..THIS explains Twitter.
Comment by jason
| May 12th, 2009
wow, maybe i should put a bag of condoms in my glove box for luck!