Pet Owner in Training
My son brought home some guppies from school last spring. Eight small, gray, ugly fish. Nothing to write home (or even blog) about.
He’d been harping on me for ages to get him a dog, something I refused to do. I knew from having my own dog when I was a little boy that the parent ends up taking care of the pet. Walk the dog, feed the dog, play with the dog, clean up dog crap – 98% of the time, that was left to mom and dad.
But seeing him with these fish, and the earnestness with which he said he’d care for them all by himself, my heart welled over. Or maybe I just felt parental guilt. I wondered if I should cut my son some slack.
Granted, I was a terrible dog owner when I was little. But later when I was ten, I’d had pet rats, and I took care of them all by myself. I fed them, watered them, cleaned the cage, let them crawl on my arms and in my shirt (it didn’t seem creepy at the time.) Maybe my son was ready for a pet of his own.
“Sure, you can keep the fish,” I said. “Let’s go buy an aquarium.”
My son was thrilled. We went to Petco and bought the cheapest little plastic aquarium possible, one of those plastic hexagons that are about a foot high. He went with blue trim (as opposed to purple.) We bought pebbles, a fake seaweed plant, a sunken treasure chest, etc. It was the real deal.
“What kind of food should we get?” we asked the sales guy.
“For guppies?” he asked. “Doesn’t matter. Get the cheap stuff.”
For the first few weeks, my son fed his fish every day he was at my house. When he was at his mom’s, I did the chore. The first time we had to clean the tank, he happily led the charge.
But a month into it, he was bored. It’s not like the fish ever bust out in song, like the colorful stars of Little Mermaid or Finding Nemo. The guppes just floated in place, hiding from each other.
That’s when one of the fish had babies. We suddenly had dozens of fish. WTF! The aquarium was too small. We didn’t know how to run a fish nursery. We went to Petco for advice.
“Well, you can buy one of these nursery nets for the little ones,” the sales guy said.
“That won’t fit in our little aquarium,” I said. “Do we really need it?”
“Nah,” the guy said. “The little fish will just get eaten by the bigger ones. And that will solve your tank size problem.”
Whatever. They were guppies! I wasn’t about to spring for a bigger aquarium for these gray ugly fish.
Most of the little fish got eaten. Some survived. More were born. We cycled through fish two more times, and the guppies grew in number.
“Hey, we need to clean the tank,” I said to my son.
“Can we just get rid of those fish?” he asked. “I’m tired of taking care of them.”
If ever a parent has a Thank You Jesus moment, this was one. I was friggin’ tired of feeding those fish when my son wasn’t around. Hell, I was feeding them when he was around, it had gotten so bad.
We thought it would be cruel to flush the fish down the toilet. Talk about a painfully stinky death. Instead, we held a little ceremony in the backyard. We dug a small hole, dumped the fish in, covered them up. Ashes to ashes, …
Last month, my son came home with a tupperware container I hadn’t seen before.
“Dad, do you think I could have a turtle?” he asked.
“Um, no?” I said.
“But he’s so cute!”
He opened the tupperware, and sure enough, there was a cute little turtle the size of a fifty-cent piece.
“What does it eat?” I asked.
My son pulled out a little baggy with tiny food pellets. Where does he get this stuff?
“Where do we keep it?” I asked.
“In the aquarium!”
There’s now a turtle in my son’s bedroom.
Clearly, my son sees me as a pet owner in training. I just wonder when he’ll bring home a dog.
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Comment by Canadian Bald Guy
| April 7th, 2009
LOL
Can’t wait for moments like these with my son. Thank you Jesus….that’s a feeling I think I’ll be having numerous times as time marches on.
Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post..It was worth a shot
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 7th, 2009
“I’m tired of taking care of them.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by Susan
| April 7th, 2009
Oh, my. My friend had a turtle (she was a teacher) and it kind of ended up being stinky. Just don’t bury it in the backyard, okay? Find it a nice turtle home in a classroom.
And NO TURTLE SOUP!
PS. My ex brought home a snake for the kids at his house. Me? I keep pleading that 2 kids, 1 adult and a few plants is all I can handle, but they keep trying to wear me down for a dog. Someday…but not today.
Susan´s last blog post..Irreverant Gratitude
Comment by Kat Wilder
| April 7th, 2009
I, too, got suckered into fish (before Roxy, the dog moved in).
Let’s just say I was never a fish fan, other than filleted, marinated, broiled and on the plate.
The Kid got bored, too, but the message I kept honing in on was this: once you are responsible for a living, breathing thing, no matter how small, it needs to be taken care of. If you don’t do it, it will die!!!
That does get their attention.
Eventually, two got the message and died and the other committed suicide (yes, it flipped itself out of the tank!) And so it goes …
Kat Wilder´s last blog post..A better way to be happy?
Comment by Andrea
| April 7th, 2009
I wonder how he’d ask you. “um, dad, there’s this thing I brought home that’s outside..” My kids would love a dog. I told them sure, go ahead. The second you move out, you can get any thing you like.
Andrea´s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts
Comment by MindyMom
| April 7th, 2009
I’ve always told my kids they can have a pet as soon as they prove to me they can take care of one. How would they do this? By keeping their rooms clean and picking up after THEMSELVES. The kids are 17, 14, 11 & 3 and I’m still pet-free! ;)
MindyMom´s last blog post..O Time, Where Art Thou?
Comment by krn
| April 7th, 2009
Good Morning! I’ve a story for you, Dad’s.
Once upon a time we had a goldfish. Our son loved the fish. He fed it and helped clean the bowl. When we had to move across the country for Mr. Ex’s work, our son informed us that the fish wanted to come, too. Mr. Ex and I covertly informed his preschool teacher that we had a fish that needed adoption. The day we arrived in our new home, a most amazing thing happened. A fish that looked identical (thanks, WalM@rt) arrived via airplane while our son was at his new preschool! The fish was now reunited with happy, happy son. Son noticed that he had grown ever so slightly during the move and that one fin was shorter than before (imagine that! Oh my!). Sadly, this fish did not survive. He was burried in the yard. Son was very upset and said he wanted a dog next time.
Several days later, Mr. Ex brought home a darling, very hyper Jack Russell terrier that chewed up only very expensive, very pretty things. In fact, he chewed up most pretty, expensive things. The lady of the house (me) wondered if perhaps Mr. Ex was teaching the evil, smart dog this nasty trick. The dog became even worse, despite obedience classes that were neither pretty nor too terribly expensive.
The dog plotted to take over the house. Things got ugly between (the now very busy) wife and the cute, evil dog. A power struggle ensued. The dog was winning, despite good intentions and hard work on the lady’s part. One day, the cute, but still evil dog bit the son. It was not a really bad bite, but enough to have to find the dog a new, childless home. The boy was sad a little, but also relieved that he would no longer have to feed, water and walk the cute, but evil little dog, with a taste for pretty, expensive things.
All of this was written to simply say:
Beware of cute but evil little dogs, Dad’s! Finding the right dog is a bit like finding the right woman. Time and patience are needed, but will reward you greatly over time.
:)
Comment by dadshouse
| April 7th, 2009
Krn – nice story! I have some fears about owning a dog. I’m not too worried about furniture (maybe I should be), I simply don’t want to be tethered to home. I like the spontaneity I get with my current freedom. Not that I’m traipsing off all that often, but I do get out. Someone told me dogs are like toddlers – they’re hungry, noisy, mess makers – execept dogs never grow up.
Comment by ditz
| April 7th, 2009
I won’t get another dog unless I am willing to be its primary caregiver. Another option, foster a dog through a local shelter or rescue group, you can choose when to do it, and its for a limited time. Trouble brews when you get attached, but its one way to test drive it without the lifelong commitment.
Comment by Laura
| April 7th, 2009
Turtles and fish I can manage! Mine want dogs and cats and leopards and snakes – those I am not so sure I can handle :)
Comment by notasoccermom
| April 7th, 2009
Yeah kids have a way. I dont know how. I swore we would NEVER have a puppy.
the puppy will be four this summer. My son, the dogs owner is in Kansas serving his country.
Guess you know what we are doing here.
notasoccermom´s last blog post..Nice weather can change your whole mood for the better
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 7th, 2009
I’m hardly a pet lover. But I do believe in taking care of your pets, regardless of how big or small they are. I am just floored that you responded to his, “I’m tired of taking care of them” with dumping them in a hole in the back yard. I think you missed the opportunity to teach him the value of life. I am not at all disturbed by the loss of guppies on the planet. I am disturbed that he was not told that you don’t just get to kill things just because you’re tired of them. You could have said, “Okay then. You have to find someone who does want to take care of them. If you can’t, then we will let them go in the nearest pond.” Something like that. Dontchathink?
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by The Exception
| April 7th, 2009
I can’t imagine a house without pets. And I mean real pets – like the dog/cat variety. They can teach a child so much but add to the house as well. My brother had a turtle that livd in our greenhouse. We have no idea what happened to the turtle but he had a happy life before he disappeared. I stuck with the cats and dogs… and yes we did take care of them. But a pet is a family commitment more than anything else.
My daughter visited a friend yesterday with a Golden Doodle puppy. She has a way with animals and was a hit with the parents as she attempted to train this puppy. I would love a dog but the schedule and house don’t suit one. But pets are worth while and awesome.
The Exception´s last blog post..Smells of Spring "Achoo"
Comment by Honey
| April 7th, 2009
A couple notes about turtles: (1) they are carriers of salmonella, and (2) they grow to the size of their tank. Do not buy a bigger tank!
Our dog weighs 9 lbs., never barks unless you tease her, and doesn’t chew on anything. So they are out there – but who knows where? We found ours in a parking lot.
Honey´s last blog post..Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 7th, 2009
My son found a squirrel in a parking lot when he was two. He said, “Look mom! We found this in the parking lock!”
It was a baby, eyes still closed. It became a family pet. His eyes never opened, so we named him Mr. Magoo. He had an aquarium to live in, but he preferred running about the house. He would come when I would make a clicking sound, because he knew it was feeding time then. He built a nest behind the entertainment center.
That winter, the father of the house decided that squirrels are not meant to live indoors. He moved Mr. Magoo out to the garage. It got very cold that night, and when I got up, Mr. Magoo was dead. I dreaded telling Brady. I’ll never forget him looking up at me with his big blue eyes while I said, “Honey, I have some bad news.” Anxious anticipation shone in those eyes. “Last night, our squirrel died.” After a moment of silence he said, “Then we have to go get another squirrel who is not dead!”
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by Mark
| April 7th, 2009
It won’t be long! Sounds like you are being played by an expert.
Mark´s last blog post..Relationship Question – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Comment by dadshouse
| April 7th, 2009
Teri – he did try to give the guppies away. That’s actually how he got them in the first place; someone else gave them to him. I agree finding a pond would have been a better alternative to taking the life of these tiny fish. I’m sorry we didn’t think of that.
And your squirrel story is pretty darn out there, I have to say. Made me chuckle in a bewildered sort of way.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 7th, 2009
Bewilderment is what I’m all about! :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..I Hate April Fool’s Day
Comment by justrun
| April 7th, 2009
Yep, turtle to dog will be the next jump. Hope you don’t have carpeted floors. :)
justrun´s last blog post..Wherein I answer the deepest, most revealing food questions of at least two people!
Comment by cyndi
| April 7th, 2009
With any luck, if I force the N-Man to partake in lessons and compete in the horse show lead line classes against his will this summer I will ruin him from the horse industry for the rest of his life and never have to go down that road (or expense) with him. LOL I fear though that he’s interited his mama’s love of all things fuzzy. :-/
cyndi´s last blog post..SPOTW: Tina
Comment by T
| April 7th, 2009
That’s so funny. I can totally see my daughters doing this too. They so want a dog. THANKFULLY… their dad got a puppy and now they see how much hard work it is.
But yeah, one day, Mommy wants to get a dog too.
T´s last blog post..Keep the laughter alive
Comment by Vinomom
| April 7th, 2009
I have so many thoughts on this subject I don’t even know where to start! Pets are such a huge responsibility. And it never ends.
I started to write more but realized – what a perfect blog topic! I will be stealing this theme soon :) Don’t get a dog – it is NOT for the free spirited.
Vinomom´s last blog post..Three Ladies’ Liquors – The Dream
Comment by Lori
| April 7th, 2009
You thought being buried alive in dirt was more humane? Geez! I agree the pond would’ve been a more humane way of getting rid of them. We got rid of a turtle that way…just letting you know, because one day you might be getting rid of that turtle too.
My son would bring home tons of frogs. Problem was, he couldn’t keep them alive and I’d find dried up frogs that looked like pieces of old leather. So now I tell him to play with the frogs, then do the right thing and let them go.
We have a dog, and yes its a pain when we want to take a trip but she’s a sweetie, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She was bought for the kids, but she’s turned out to be my little shadow.
Comment by dadshouse
| April 7th, 2009
You guys crack me up! Between leaving a blind squirrel to freeze in a cold garage, and letting frogs dry up until they looked like old leather, me burying the fish was downright humane! (Haha. I’m teasing…)
My son and I have both learned a lesson here. Next time we will give unwanted pets away to friends, or let them go in the wild.
Meanwhile, I hope PETA isn’t watching this blog. I don’t need protestors.
Comment by badmuthablogger
| April 8th, 2009
YIKES!!! PETA isn’t watching but I am. FYI I’m a long-time animal rights activist / protestor, and an ecologist! I can’t BELIEVE you buried those fish alive. I know you learned a lesson, Dads, so I’m not gonna get on your case. Plus, I like you, even if you are a heartless fish-killer.
But for the record, releasing species into the wild is NOT a solution. It’s irresponsible, and can be potentially disastrous for local ecosystems. It can also be a good way to kill your unwanted pet friends, and that really isn’t any more humane than burying them alive, flushing them down the toilet, or locking them in a cold garage. Giving them away to friends or back to the pet store (some pet stores will actually buy your unwanted guppies) is the most ethical and humane option.
badmuthablogger´s last blog post..Flying with a 1 year old baby
Comment by SDMktg
| April 8th, 2009
I have a fish. My daughter had a beta but it jumped out of the tank and I have a 2 gallon aquarium with a plecostomus that is huge. I started with a few tetras and the pleco but as he got bigger the chemistry of the tank changed and the other fish died. The cool thing is I hardly ever need to feed him and the tank is always clean.
The kids keep saying their mom is going to get them a rabbit and I just know it will end with me having to take care of it. I would like a dog someday when I have a yard big enough for it. I’ve never had a squirrel or a turtle.
Comment by Frank Azzurro
| April 15th, 2009
This was not only a great way to teach your child about life & death (limited space, reproduction, some die, some live, the strong survive, etc. etc.) but was also a good way for you to be unintrusive about your desire for your child to hang onto their own hobbies. You don’t want to shove it in his face, of course, that you figured this would happen, but you were a willing parent who did as his child asked, and watched as that child eventually made the decision on his OWN to abandon it. Some children, if pushed, will stubbornly hang onto the hobby in half-assed approach, but in this case it worked out beautifully and you handled it great!
I’m a dad-to-be with a blog of my own, hope the “spamming” isn’t offensive to you but check it out if you like.
http://www.corrupt.org/blogs/frank_azzurro/family/
Comment by Care of Goldfish
| June 8th, 2009
Be careful of tropical orange fish which looked similar like goldfish. They can be very rude and may attack your goldfish.
Comment by gabby - dog mange
| December 20th, 2009
that is so cute! my son is acting that away too. I can see that he is an animal lover too. he likes dogs and when he sees the cat he calls it CAT even if he can’t speak clearly because he is just a 1 year old boy. thanks for sharing
gabby – dog mange´s last blog ..Two Common Symptoms Of Dog Skin Problems