Sex, God and a Well Hung Prana
DISCLAIMER: I like to think and evolve, and I like to have sex, and this post is my best current effort at combining them. If I get stuff wrong, or forget to wear a spiritual condom, please chime in!
I’m a big believer that sex is inherently spiritual. I know from experience that it’s possible to raise sexual energy from the root chakra to the crown, and connect your body’s life energy to the entire universe. (Full body orgasms are a wonderful thing.)
Turns out some modern philosophers think there’s even more to sex than that. Namely – Sex can be an intrinsic part of spiritual evolution.
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| Ken Wilber A Brief History of Everything |
There’s a great conversation about sex and spirituality in the Spring 2009 issue of EnlightenNext magazine, with Andrew Cohen and Ken Wilber debating the question, Is Sex a Path to God? Ken Wilber kicks ass as a modern philosopher. His book A Brief History of Everything
The EnlightenNext article kicks off with a look at prana (chi) – the vital life energy in our body.
As Ken Wilber explains, “small” prana (within us) is responsible for connecting each of us to other individuals. “Big” prana (around us) seeks to unite an individual with the universe. The latter is more expansive, and is what’s driving evolutionary spirituality. (If you don’t care about evolving spiritually, that’s fine. Just know that some of this stuff leads to great sex.)
Some popular spiritual practices focus on the power of now and paying attention to the present moment. That’s great for directing consciousness on an evolutionary path. But it doesn’t do much for our body’s prana, the life energy that manifests in our flesh. Shouldn’t our whole being evolve?
Let’s break down evolution. As we evolve in life, we identify with various chakras – food, sex, power – up through love, self-expression and transcendence – to “being one with the All.” We often get stuck on various chakras, and are forced to pay a ton of attention to a particular life stage until we “get it”. That is, we identify with that chakra until we can instead look at it objectively, leave it in place and move on.
Single parents know this all too well. Some of us are paying a lot of attention to the survival chakra. Others to the sex chakra. Others to self power, or giving love. etc. (I’ve said before, single parents have unique opportunities to evolve that married parents may not have. Single parents rock!)
Back to sex. As Ken Wilber explains, having sex can be like taking a bullet train from the root chakra to the crown, racing through all the chakras and connecting us to God. (Sounds like tantric sex to me!) Ken Wilber points out – you can seek spiritual enlightenment by sitting on your ass and meditating for ten years. Or, you can practice it by f**king. (Note to celibate monks – sex is a good thing.)
Problem is, sexual energy is powerful stuff. A lot of people think the sexual impulse is stronger than them. They give in to the moment, sleep with someone they maybe shouldn’t have, and end up being forced to deal with consequences – emotional, spiritual, physical, etc. Who hasn’t fallen victim to their sexual energy and desires? Who hasn’t hooked up, only to regret it later? Some of us are even forced to deal with destiny-altering consequences.
The spiritual evolutionary goal of all this is to dis-identify with the chakras, but still recognize them as vital elements. Let them become “part of the self, but not the source of the self.”
To Wilber and Cohen, this means a guy can become a “strong source of presence, without being a macho shithead.” (Woo-hoo! the choir intones.) He can be sexy and masculine, but caring and loving at the same. He can move freely between the chakras, because the chakras are part of him, but he isn’t stuck identifying with any one of them.
If you’re stuck on a chakra, immersed in a problem unique to you – take heart. You’ve been given a situation in life from which you can glean a fuller awareness. You can evolve past it, and move closer to God.
In the meantime, sex can serve to remind us of the spiritual evolutionary path we are on.
And on that note, I’m thinking this monk needs to get laid… for spiritual purposes!
- Beginners Tantra – Sexy and Heartfelt
- White Hot Tantra on Valentine’s Day
- Physical Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy
- Sex and No Sex
- Premarital Sex and the Single Parent
- Hot, Sexy, Single – Law of Attraction
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Comment by Canadian Bald Guy
| April 16th, 2009
I’ve never been much of a spiritual person, but who knows what I’ll be like a year from now…five years from now…ten years? Very interesting stuff, Dads.
Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post..Twitter Tales: 04-16-09
Comment by Mark
| April 16th, 2009
Great stuff, yes sex can be a very spiritual experience. It really is a matter of awareness and judgment. As you stated we need to discern how and when we use our sexual energy.
Mark´s last blog post..How Tall Is Your Wall?
Comment by Andrea
| April 16th, 2009
Getting laid for spiritual purposes? Okay, that’s one I haven’t heard before!
‘macho shitheads’ as it was put, never did anything for me quite honestly. Someone strong in themselves, kind, intellectual and witty would make me find my chakra in a hurry.
“Full body orgasms are a wonderful thing” Now that sounds interesting! ;)
Andrea´s last blog post..Writers Workshop with MamaKat
Comment by Kat Wilder
| April 16th, 2009
You know, Dads, I was thinking I was damn close to God the last time I had sex …
I don’t pay attention to the chakras and all that stuff, but, yes, I am spiritually focused (being a NoCal gal!)
Sex, and especially great sex, takes place in the head, and, of course, paying attention to how your body responds and knowing enough about the opposite sex’s body to help him/her respond. That’s part of being mindful and engaged, if you ask me.
All of life gives us situations from which we can glean a fuller awareness. Sex — why we want it, why we want it with whom we want it, how it makes us feel, etc. — is a great teacher. Even “failing” is, as Woody Allen would say, spot on!
Kat Wilder´s last blog post..Who comes first, you or your kids?
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 16th, 2009
I wouldn’t touch this subject with David’s ten-foot-pole. :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..This is the Lord’s doing. It is marvellous in our eyes.
Comment by QTMama
| April 16th, 2009
Sex! I remember that. I think I had that once … hmm, it’s been so long that I am not sure though …
QTMama´s last blog post..I Kissed a Toad …
Comment by MindyMom
| April 16th, 2009
OK David, for being so aware about many things – this included, I have to say that this post would have been much better without the use of the word f**k. Do all men refer to sex as f**king?
I have no problem with the word and in fact embrace it’s versatility but it seems an odd choice when you are discussing spirituality and sexuality instead of a hookup.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Pinch Me
Comment by dadshouse
| April 16th, 2009
Mindy – Ken Wilber used the f-bomb a few times in the ElightenNext article, I think for shock value, or maybe just to refer to the physical act in its most base way, and that washed off on me. (He didn’t asterisk his usage of it.) I did consider simply saying “having sex”, but then I figured WTF, I’d follow Ken Wilber’s lead. Sorry if that distracted you from the message in the post.
Comment by MindyMom
| April 16th, 2009
It kinda did! No biggie, but I did wonder about what prompted your choice.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Pinch Me
Comment by T
| April 16th, 2009
“strong source of presence, without being a macho shithead.”
OHHHH!!! YESSSSSS!!!! That is what I need!!!
I love this post. But you knew I would. ;)
This is good because I have found myself locked in certain chakras but never thought about being there for a reason to process something. And viewing each chakra as part of me but not getting stuck there? I love this.
You recommended Wilbur’s book to me ages ago. I’ve now added it to my Amazon shopping cart. Thanks again, David.
Great post!
T´s last blog post..What’s my type?
Comment by krn
| April 16th, 2009
And I was *clears throat* feeling “in need of” before I read this post. Now I’m not sure I should even leave the house with the energy I might be sending out to the universe today!
Did you mean for this to be so sexy, Dad’s?
Sheesh. *rolls eyes* This one needs a “not for frustrated single moms” alert.
;)
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 16th, 2009
I don’t think it counts when you say f**k instead of fuck. :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..This is the Lord’s doing. It is marvellous in our eyes.
Comment by katherine.
| April 16th, 2009
if you get “stuff wrong” ?
is there right and wrong? maybe I better read this book?
I can’t speak to chakra and prana but I will agree complete orgasm of mind and body is a gift from God.
as for gleaning fuller awareness…ya just gotta respect what we in our home refer to as the POTP.
Comment by Abby Carter
| April 16th, 2009
Ever there was ever an argument to get laid, this is it. Thank you for validating my latest romp in the sack. Jury is still out as to whether this is me living through all my chakras or if it means I am centered on the sex one (in my case that would be equivalent to the survival one).
The problem I have found is when one person feels the spirituality of sex and the other is just out to get, well laid. For me sex is always spiritual, like looking deep into someone’s soul. Its tricky when that isn’t reciprocated, or the person is looking into many people’s souls as well as yours…
Abby Carter´s last blog post..Be The Best You Can Be!
Comment by Junctionmama
| April 16th, 2009
Hmmm, I need to do some evolving methinks…
;)
Junctionmama´s last blog post..Kids at the comedy bar!
Comment by Single Mom Paying Off Debt
| April 16th, 2009
krn- exactly what I was thinking… single frustrated moms alert… lol …
Single Mom Paying Off Debt´s last blog post..Extra $1250 to pay towards debt !!!
Comment by Edgar
| April 16th, 2009
Dads – I hadn’t really thought of the challenges we face in evolving into compassionate, loving human beings as consisting of potentially getting stuck on particular chakras, but perhaps the image works. Certainly the goal is to make sure the energies, emotions or experiences associated with each of them are in balance. As the Chinese would say – the pathways for the chi need to be open so that it can flow harmoniously. I know it certainly is consciousness-expanding when the mojo’s working, the chi is flowing and my chakras are spinning in synch with a passionate, tasty, naked, writhing member of the opposite sex. Mon Dieu! Et foutez-moi! (Those are important phrases in tantric buddhism, by the way).
Comment by MommaSunshine
| April 16th, 2009
I love this: “If you’re stuck on a chakra, immersed in a problem unique to you – take heart. You’ve been given a situation in life from which you can glean a fuller awareness. You can evolve past it, and move closer to God.”
It’s a good reminder that sometimes we get stuck somewhere in life because it’s where we need to be in order to gain greater awareness.
Thanks for this post! :)
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..Those “Creeping Doubts”: Examining My Happiness
Comment by dadshouse
| April 16th, 2009
Edgar – this line you wrote is great! I know it certainly is consciousness-expanding when the mojo’s working, the chi is flowing and my chakras are spinning in synch with a passionate, tasty, naked, writhing member of the opposite sex.
Abby – sex for me is spiritual too, even when it’s casual. Though, if my partner avoids the spiritual element, it’s not as good.
Katherine – I just didn’t want Ken Wilber (or one of his disciples) busting in here correcting me if I didn’t explain one of his points quite right. I love his writing. I’ve read a few books by him. He brings a mix of super educated, East/West, psycho-spiritual, occasional f-bomb dropping, mojo to the party. Good stuff.
Krn – sorry if this made you more frustrated. I have moments (some of them quite long) where I’m frustrated too.
T – OHHHH!!! YESSSSSS!!!! That is what I need!!! – sounds like you were getting some when you wrote your comment! (Haha)
Comment by SweetPeaSurry
| April 16th, 2009
What is this ’sex’ everyone keeps talking about? I am UNFAMILIAR with the term … LOL … I guess it’s just been WAY too long!
I agree with your assessment of the monk needing some spiritual sex, I think I might be a monk, and that might be my problem too.
Comment by la dolce vita
| April 16th, 2009
I this krn’s response! Thanks, Dad, for the tip on Ken Wilber’s interview. I discovered his writing several years ago; devoured everything he wrote, and haven’t read any since. I forgot how incredibly intelligent that man is. He really does explain very complex theories in a easy-to-understand manner.
Comment by Gilit
| April 17th, 2009
Good timing on this post. I just came back from a New age festival in the Arava desert (near Eilat Israel) and am glad to be back to the city. One one hand, people pretend to be spiritual but when it came to lining up for showers or food or having people pitch their tents and block the opening to your tent, the survival instincts come out – the yelling, screaming and all the love and peace stuff was forgoteen (except for me who stays nice – too much Canadian upbringing)….but you’ve given me food for thought to justify my last brief week long sexual encounter which I think was rather spiritual as well as sexual – didn’t think of it that way originally….bottom line is that people don’t change but we can keep trying to be more spiritual every day nonetheless.
Gilit´s last blog post..Post 59: Deserted in the Desert
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 17th, 2009
Dammit. I was looking for a Friday post! (This one was boring me. And yeah… I know mine has been boring people for DAYSSSSSSSSSSS. Hee.)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..This is the Lord’s doing. It is marvellous in our eyes.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 17th, 2009
New post up. Now I need to see one here! :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..This is the Lord’s doing. It is marvellous in our eyes.
Comment by Lance
| April 17th, 2009
Sex energy is indeed powerful stuff, and it’s one of the primary fuels that powers my creative motor. I’d love to read this article, although to be truthful I’m not all that into the spiritual aspects of sex. If you find the article online please link it.
Lance´s last blog post..Takeways from Vegetarian and No-Alcohol Experiments
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| April 17th, 2009
Just call me Cathouse Teri Jones.
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..New Tattoo!
Comment by Solo-Dad
| April 20th, 2009
Considering how often it occurs for this Solo-Dad, sex is undoubtedly an act of God. :)
Solo-Dad´s last blog post..The Human Neuron Project
Comment by Leah
| April 22nd, 2009
Very fun post, Dad’s! You got me thinking about the Buddhist precepts (for laypeople) one of them being careful about how we use our sexual energy. Like all forms of great energy there is potential for something wonderful, and the, well…less than wonderful, as you point out.
I would very much like to have a lover drop out of the sky (that’s the only way it’s going to happen these days) who truly understands (and wants to explore) the spirit/sex connection. I’ve never been with anyone who gets that, and whoa, that would be way interesting :)
Leah´s last blog post..Big boys don’t cry…