Comments on: Believe in Me http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/ Single Parent Dating, Raising Children, Parenting Teens Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:03:21 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: shannon http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14623 shannon Thu, 07 May 2009 14:43:51 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14623 I like to think that I want someone who believes in me- and my accomplishments. Sometimes I think that's where NewHusband doesn't quite cut it. (Ssssh. Don't tell). He's very negative about anything that I might know "more" about than he does and pretty patronizing about my role as a parent. I've got to admit, I'm really good at the mom thing-everyone ELSE says it. B's teachers, friends parents, family, etc...but he doesn't. I sometimes think it's because he's not all that comfortable in HIS role as a parent, but it still stings that he can't acknowledge the thing that I'm best at. It's a huge issue for me-but we're working on it. And who cares really, when my daughter reaps the rewards of my good parenting? <abbr><em><abbr><em>shannon´s last blog post..<a href="http://bsmommy.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/236/" rel="nofollow">Engraved on My Heart</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> I like to think that I want someone who believes in me- and my accomplishments. Sometimes I think that’s where NewHusband doesn’t quite cut it. (Ssssh. Don’t tell). He’s very negative about anything that I might know “more” about than he does and pretty patronizing about my role as a parent. I’ve got to admit, I’m really good at the mom thing-everyone ELSE says it. B’s teachers, friends parents, family, etc…but he doesn’t. I sometimes think it’s because he’s not all that comfortable in HIS role as a parent, but it still stings that he can’t acknowledge the thing that I’m best at. It’s a huge issue for me-but we’re working on it. And who cares really, when my daughter reaps the rewards of my good parenting?

shannon´s last blog post..Engraved on My Heart

]]> By: Kathleen http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14550 Kathleen Tue, 05 May 2009 15:02:44 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14550 wow! went back to my email and received this... how appropriate for us... “You have the need and the right to spend part of your life caring for your soul. It is not easy...To be a soulful person means to go against all the pervasive, prove-yourself values of our culture and instead treasure what is unique and internal and valuable in yourself and your own personal evolution.” —Jean Shinoda Bolen; psychiatrist, author <abbr><em><abbr><em>Kathleen´s last blog post..<a href="http://kathleenannemartin.blogspot.com/2009/05/stress-this-is-not-what-i-signed-up-for.html" rel="nofollow">stress..... This is not what I signed up for either!</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> wow! went back to my email and received this… how appropriate for us…

“You have the need and the right to spend part of your life caring for your soul. It is not easy…To be a soulful person means to go against all the pervasive, prove-yourself values of our culture and instead treasure what is unique and internal and valuable in yourself and your own personal evolution.”

—Jean Shinoda Bolen; psychiatrist, author

Kathleen´s last blog post..stress….. This is not what I signed up for either!

]]> By: Kathleen http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14549 Kathleen Tue, 05 May 2009 15:00:27 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14549 You are absolutely right when you said "I don’t need a woman to enter my life and make me feel more manly, or smarter, or more capable, or more useful, or more loved. I already have all the confidence I need to survive and thrive." It sounds like you have reached a calm point in life if you can say that. And like the book you are reading about laws of attraction, love will come naturally now. At least in my humble opinion. I did all that internet dating. Had dates comin' out my ears (not bragging), but I never found a man that was at the same level of comfort with themselves, therefore, we never were more than friends. I still have good friends from internet dating. I met the man of my dreams through work... through everday life... the last place I would expect to find him. I work for Starbucks and he was a customer. Came in daily for a year before we started dating and then, boom, we fell in love and are now engaged. We have been together 2 years. Marriage is ahead, but that's a long story. My daughter is in college and if I marry she loses scholarships and money from the gov for her education as they will take my fiance's income in the calculations (how stupid is that???? Good ole government!). So, we are committed forever to each other. We both have psycho ex-spouses! I was actually attracted to my sweetie because sometimes he would come in to get his coffee and just say everyday things, sometimes funny, sometimes something about being frustrated. Just like we all feel daily. It was the frustrated comment that I liked the most because I was having a frustrating day, too. It's then that you really get to know someone. Not in fancy clothes, not with the "new date" face and attitude. It's just how were naturally. We balance each other out. We respect each other and who we are. You acknowledge the differences and embrace the likeness'. It should happen naturally. I can't believe how wonderful my life is and pinch myself daily. I always thought that questions while out with my internet date, "what are you looking in a man/woman?" was so fake. They should really be asking "Where do you see yourself in 5,10 years?" That is a much more sincere question. And, to me it really allows the other person to speak about the whole part of their life. Like you say, it's more than the relationship between a man and a woman. At this point in our lives, it's about our children, family and friends. Love the second time around at the age of 46 is amazing. There's no insecurities, no games - just honest love. Sorry for rambling... I loved this post! Try looking around you at people who do the same things you do daily. Going to the library, the supermarket... real people living real lives. <abbr><em><abbr><em>Kathleen´s last blog post..<a href="http://kathleenannemartin.blogspot.com/2009/05/stress-this-is-not-what-i-signed-up-for.html" rel="nofollow">stress..... This is not what I signed up for either!</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> You are absolutely right when you said “I don’t need a woman to enter my life and make me feel more manly, or smarter, or more capable, or more useful, or more loved. I already have all the confidence I need to survive and thrive.”

It sounds like you have reached a calm point in life if you can say that. And like the book you are reading about laws of attraction, love will come naturally now. At least in my humble opinion. I did all that internet dating. Had dates comin’ out my ears (not bragging), but I never found a man that was at the same level of comfort with themselves, therefore, we never were more than friends. I still have good friends from internet dating.

I met the man of my dreams through work… through everday life… the last place I would expect to find him. I work for Starbucks and he was a customer. Came in daily for a year before we started dating and then, boom, we fell in love and are now engaged. We have been together 2 years. Marriage is ahead, but that’s a long story. My daughter is in college and if I marry she loses scholarships and money from the gov for her education as they will take my fiance’s income in the calculations (how stupid is that???? Good ole government!). So, we are committed forever to each other. We both have psycho ex-spouses!

I was actually attracted to my sweetie because sometimes he would come in to get his coffee and just say everyday things, sometimes funny, sometimes something about being frustrated. Just like we all feel daily. It was the frustrated comment that I liked the most because I was having a frustrating day, too. It’s then that you really get to know someone. Not in fancy clothes, not with the “new date” face and attitude. It’s just how were naturally. We balance each other out. We respect each other and who we are. You acknowledge the differences and embrace the likeness’. It should happen naturally. I can’t believe how wonderful my life is and pinch myself daily.

I always thought that questions while out with my internet date, “what are you looking in a man/woman?” was so fake. They should really be asking “Where do you see yourself in 5,10 years?” That is a much more sincere question. And, to me it really allows the other person to speak about the whole part of their life. Like you say, it’s more than the relationship between a man and a woman. At this point in our lives, it’s about our children, family and friends.

Love the second time around at the age of 46 is amazing. There’s no insecurities, no games – just honest love.

Sorry for rambling… I loved this post! Try looking around you at people who do the same things you do daily. Going to the library, the supermarket… real people living real lives.

Kathleen´s last blog post..stress….. This is not what I signed up for either!

]]> By: LOD http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14547 LOD Tue, 05 May 2009 14:49:09 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14547 Amen, brother. I felt that way before I got married, and I thought I'd found that in my ex-wife. When she decided I am the worst person to walk the earth, it was jarring. It'll be amazing to feel that again, if I'm every lucky enough. Amen, brother. I felt that way before I got married, and I thought I’d found that in my ex-wife. When she decided I am the worst person to walk the earth, it was jarring.

It’ll be amazing to feel that again, if I’m every lucky enough.

]]> By: Gilit http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14543 Gilit Tue, 05 May 2009 08:02:48 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14543 Very moving post, David. Shortly after my divorce (14 years ago!) I was in a lecture where the workshop leader asked "What is the one thing men want most of all from women?" Most people answered "sex". But the lecturer answered "to be adored". That had us all quiet for awhile, and over the years, I realized that she was right. <abbr><em><abbr><em>Gilit´s last blog post..<a href="http://franklynosexinthecity.blogspot.com/2009/04/post-59-deserted-in-desert.html" rel="nofollow">Post 59: Deserted in the Desert</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> Very moving post, David. Shortly after my divorce (14 years ago!) I was in a lecture where the workshop leader asked “What is the one thing men want most of all from women?” Most people answered “sex”. But the lecturer answered “to be adored”. That had us all quiet for awhile, and over the years, I realized that she was right.

Gilit´s last blog post..Post 59: Deserted in the Desert

]]> By: notasoccermom http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14541 notasoccermom Tue, 05 May 2009 03:46:11 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14541 What do we want in a man or woman? We want the thing that makes us say---yup! thats the ticket. I love to read your posts. And man, wish I were dating as much as you are, where do you meet these women and why do men in my area never ask a woman out? <abbr><em><abbr><em>notasoccermom´s last blog post..<a href="http://asmymotherbeforeme.blogspot.com/2009/05/its-raining-on-prom-night.html" rel="nofollow">Its raining on prom night.....</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> What do we want in a man or woman?
We want the thing that makes us say—yup! thats the ticket.
I love to read your posts.
And man, wish I were dating as much as you are, where do you meet these women and why do men in my area never ask a woman out?

notasoccermom´s last blog post..Its raining on prom night…..

]]> By: SoloDad http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/05/04/believe-in-me/comment-page-1/#comment-14540 SoloDad Tue, 05 May 2009 03:18:06 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6186#comment-14540 When you find her, let me know is she has a sister. When you find her, let me know is she has a sister.

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