Single Dad Fireworks on Mother’s Day
As a divorced dad with half-time custody, I was on my own for Mother’s Day weekend. That’s as it should be, since my kids were celebrating the holiday with their mom. (I made sure they had gifts for her, and I called to wish her well on the day.)
The rest of my weekend? You’d think my calendar would have been filled! Especially with the annual KFOG Kaboom fireworks show on Saturday night. My buddies and I have sailed for Kaboom in the past, and watched fireworks over the water, from the water, next to the San Francisco Bay Bridge. It’s an amazing sight.
But Mother’s Day weekend got in the way of our sailing fun.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not blaming mom’s for the fact that we didn’t sail. Moms deserve their day and weekend in the sun.
It’s just that I’ve reached an age where my friends are married, and my dating prospects are divorced, and pretty much everyone has kids. For most of these people, Mother’s Day consumed the whole weekend.
Here’s what happened: my buddy and I tried to rally a crew and passengers to sail on Saturday. We hoped to sail all afternoon, grab gin and tonics or Bloody Mary’s at Sam’s in Tiburon, then keep sailing until dark when the fireworks started.
But, but, but…
- Two potential crewmates were out of town with their wives and kids, celebrating Mother’s Day weekend
- Another potential crewmate is a single mom, and she had her kids all weekend, and they didn’t feel like going
- Most of the passengers I had in mind were single moms, either with kids too young to come aboard, or older kids who were treating mom to a special weekend
As for childless single women who I might have invited on the boat? No longer in my dating pool. (Most want to have babies and start families, and I’m done with that.)
And so there were no fireworks for this divorced dad over Mother’s Day weekend.
I did get some good reading time in.
- Greg Norman’s Yacht Has Nothing On This
- Are Women a Recession Commodity?
- Is the Dating Pool Really That Small?
- Relationship Test – Who Picked the Wedding Cake?
- Do Divorced Dads Need to Have More Kids to Find Love?
- Lady of the House
- Celebrating an Ex’s Birthday Post Divorce
- Dark and Stormy Cocktail Recipe – Rum, Ginger Beer, Lime
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Comment by Canadian Bald Guy
| May 11th, 2009
Ahhhh yes, I can relate so well.
It’s one of the things that totally sucks about being single into your late 30’s and beyond. All of your friends get married and have families…and unlike us, they don’t get divorced.
BAH!!
Y’know, reading isn’t so bad. There are worse things you could have ended up doing.
Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post..Mom, Music, & Cancer
Comment by Laura
| May 11th, 2009
Ah man! See now had I been there I could have grabbed a ride with you since I had no kids :) But would have had to bring my text books with!!
I can relate to this – doesnt only really happen on mothers day – kinda is a problem in general when you are single!
Laura´s last blog post..Big day today
Comment by MommaSunshine
| May 11th, 2009
There are times when the single parent thing really does suck.
And hey – there are worse things than reading, right?
*hugs to you*
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..Connections …
Comment by Andrea
| May 11th, 2009
I’m sorry the weekend didn’t go as you’d hoped.
What did you end up reading? Anything good?
What kind of boat is it that you sail? I love sailing (not that I have a clue what anything on a sailboat does, I’m more along for the ride). I imagine there’s a wonderful view around your area.
I hope the next nice weekend you’ll find a crew who’s up for some fun.
Andrea´s last blog post..HASAY Smashay: The Update
Comment by Just Me...
| May 11th, 2009
Hmm…. Well, then….. Okay, I got nothing. You’re screwed for Mother’s Day weekends henceforth.. :D
But, I’m glad you got in some good reading time in!!!!
Just Me…´s last blog post..Mother’s Day…
Comment by FJ
| May 11th, 2009
It must be tough; Mothers Day will be one of the days that truly accentuates the issues you raise. It’s unfortunate but certainly there are other days like that which aren’t even holidays. Stay strong!
Comment by MindyMom
| May 11th, 2009
A little down time with a good book sounds good to me!
But I hear ya, our “life stage” can be limiting sometimes.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Recent Developments
Comment by dadshouse
| May 11th, 2009
We’ll definitely go sailing on future weekends. It’s just unfortunate that Kaboom fireworks and Mother’s Day happened to land on the same weekend this year.
I know missed opportunities are sometimes part of being a single parent. Kids come first! It’s even tougher to pull off with a sailing adventure that takes us out most of the day and into the night. (My kids have come on board with us a few times, and loved it.)
Andrea – we usually get a 32-foot boat, though we have gotten bigger. (The boat has a galley and bathroom and small bedrooms down below.) A buddy of mine is able to rent from various yacht clubs around here. The bay is wonderful, but often windy! Sam’s in Tiburon has an outdoor patio that is usually sunny and warm, so we love docking there for a drink. We’ve also sailed the British Virgin Islands, which was a blast.
Some of our boating shenanigans are described here: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/04/20/greg-normans-yacht-has-nothing-on-this/
and here: http://www.svmoms.com/2008/05/san-francisco-f.html
Comment by Andrea
| May 11th, 2009
Greg Norman’s boat. Pfft, that’s not a boat. A boat is something where you (as in umm, the deck hand with no pay) scramble around and tie the lines, throw out the bumpers, catch the big heavy fiberglass thing from hitting the dock and generally do whatever your father yelled at you to do.
Sorry I was having a boating flashback. (being raised on a boat since birth I’ve got lots of them). :)
I’d take birds nests in my sails any day!
Andrea´s last blog post..HASAY Smashay: The Update
Comment by The Exception
| May 11th, 2009
I had my fireworks, but they didn’t involve a man… just friends, a great kid, and a gorgeous day! Fireworks are what you make them to be I suppose!!
The sailing sounds great. I will crew for you next year and then… watch the sparks fly! ;)
The Exception´s last blog post..A Gorgeous Day For A Run
Comment by Cathy
| May 11th, 2009
You made sure your kids had gifts for their mother. You called and wished your ex a Happy Mother’s Day and there were not fireworks for you?
Too bad cause you deserve those darn fireworks!
Cathy´s last blog post..Love him…love his penis.
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| May 11th, 2009
So your buddy bailed on you too?
Mother’s day (or as we like to call it in my family, “motherfucker’s day”) was just another day to me. My mister yummy and I went to see Star Trek. Went to Sears to pick up a power tool he had been wanting, and then back home where he grilled steak the way only he knows how. VERY nice day, in my book. We each called our mums to wish them Happy MD (or MFD hee hee). All of my kids called me to wish me the same. And then it was over. :)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Amazing Grace
Comment by Mark
| May 11th, 2009
Sometimes we all need a quiet weekend, even if it is not what we think we wanted!
Mark´s last blog post..Be Thankful For The Challanges in Our Life
Comment by Elaine at Lipstickdaily
| May 11th, 2009
Geez . . . sailing, bloody marys in tiburon, fireworks . . . I would’ve got a babysitter!
Elaine at Lipstickdaily´s last blog post..Say Hey, Sis
Comment by Sandra
| May 11th, 2009
Aww, that’s too bad. I really thought you were gonna end up having plans this weekend.
Mother’s day is a bad weekend to be planning anything with anyone really, unless it’s your mom.
Sandra´s last blog post..Respectful Married Dude Wants to Bang You ;)
Comment by QTMama
| May 11th, 2009
I’m drinking a martini … and toasting you, DH. You’re a good dad, I hope you know that.
QTMama´s last blog post..Menstruation, Boys and An Ex-Thong Friend
Comment by T
| May 11th, 2009
Yeah, I get this. It does seem like a weird place to be sometimes… 30’s, 40’s and being single.
*sigh*
Thank you for the sweet Mom’s day message. Sailing in the bay would have been a perfect Mother’s Day for me.
T´s last blog post..This is when its hard….
Comment by krn
| May 11th, 2009
I’ve a feeling that your excellent parenting and ex behavior on Mom’s Day created some karma that you’ll enjoy later on.
Curling up on the sofa with a nice beverage and a leisurely read sounds like heaven to me.
Comment by movin down the road
| May 11th, 2009
this makes me laugh…sorry, it just does….it’s interesting the requirements we set…I am enjoying being with a man who does not have kids of his own…it makes things SO much more difficult, all the juggling and the exes are always still there, no matter what. My guy and I just deal with my ex, and i get the added bonus of my guy not caring whether he has a biological child or not. He loves mine and if we want one together one day, we have time. otherwise, we can be done and have best of both worlds together. Cause in terms of babies, I’m all done with that too.
movin down the road´s last blog post..Mama’s Day
Comment by notasoccermom
| May 11th, 2009
I will just admire the fireworks from here, and dream of a day sailing the bay. sigh~
Thanks for being understanding of mothers Day as we are of Fathers day.
Actually, my grandfathers birthday was June 18th and often on Fathers Day. We now celebrate his life with a family reunion on his birthday every year.. so I suppose the fathers in our family feel your pain a little bit.
You will have to go sailing on Fathers Day :)
notasoccermom´s last blog post..Mothers Day and Such
Comment by shannon
| May 12th, 2009
Good for you DH, sending kids along with the appropriate generosity for Mother’s Day. I make sure my stepson has something for his non-custodial biological mother and I always do special things for my girls Daddy. For his birthday we made him a video of her life, with her saying a special message at the end. This year, on Father’s Day I’m going to have all our camcorder tapes from her younger years (baby days) made into DVDs. I just have to make sure I’m strong enough to watch them myself. I appreciate him-I just don’t appreciate the minimal respect he accorded our marriage. :)
Comment by ilinap
| May 12th, 2009
Dude, I would have grabbed my kids and joined you. Nothing better than a boat and G & Ts with good company.
Comment by Mama Dharma
| May 12th, 2009
Dad’s you have such a great attitude. I admire you for knowing what you want…and being honest with yourself about what is realistic and desirable in terms of dating given your life stage.
Sorry that Mother’s Day didn’t turn out as you would have hoped (or as Teri calls it “motherfuckers day” HILARIOUS) but here’s to all kind of great fireworks and sailing excursions to come.
Peace to you, Leah
Mama Dharma´s last blog post..Distraught