Twitter Texting By Romantic Candlelight
Silicon Valley night life is absurd. My buddy and I went out for dinner and mojitos at a hip tapas restaurant. There were attractive women, well dressed men, couples, trios, you name it. It was quite the scene.
Forget the overweight sixty-year-old Russian engineers with the thirty-something Latina escorts in cleavage-revealing too-short slutty dresses. (We eavesdropped enough to be pretty sure these guys used Craigslist erotic services just before the category was shut down.)
The weird highlight of the evening was a husband and wife.
They came into the bar and ordered up a bottle of fine French wine. Keep in mind – I’ve been recently pining for feminine energy in my life (i.e. a girlfriend), so it was quite touching for me to see this happy couple out on a date night, sitting at a candlelit table, sharing a bottle of wine, making time for each other. Talk about being connected in real life, despite the demands of this crazy wireless world!
More couples should do that!
The waitress poured the wine. The husband sniffed and tasted. The wife waited for her glass to be poured, then settled in for a comfy cozy night out.
And then they both busted out their mobile devices. WTF!?
They texted. They twittered. They emailed. They did everything except look at each other and talk.
It was sad.
The Russians and their Latina escorts had a good time. Is this what our modern world has come to?
- Twitter Is Bad For You
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- Some Text Messages Deserve a Truckers Salute
- Dirty Text Message Jokes
- When Sexy Texting Leads to Divorce
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Comment by FJ
| May 15th, 2009
It’s a sad reality that too many couples pretend to be into each other by dining out often & thinking they’re advancing their relationship, when in fact they’re so into work they can’t put down the “mini idiot boxes” (e.g.; cell phones, crackberries, etc.) for more than an hour to just enjoy each other’s company. Good observation..even though I’m gunning for a more intense role at my company so we can continue to be a one-income family, I still feel like I’ll never be comfortable with the idea that I’ll need to be a drive-through window (immediate access) for my team or manager. All you can is set a habit of being avialable for, say, ten hours a day, and shutting off regularly at a certain time each night, period. You may go through more intense times but if you can’t shut down after a ten hour day, there are other issues w/ your job that you need to seriously evaluate – are you being asked to do too much, etc.? If you don’t ask those questions & merely accept your paycheck and ANYTHING that comes along with it, you end up like the couple in that restaurant.
Comment by Laura
| May 15th, 2009
That seems to be a common thing at the moment! People are so connected to the online world they forget about the real world!!
All hope is not lost tho – they are at least getting out so the desire to get out as a couple is there!
Comment by searchingwithin
| May 15th, 2009
Why I don’t engage in that crap. I do not pay for texting, so if someone send one, I don’t answer it, but am quick to let them no the next time we make real life contact, that I don’t accept text messages.
Same with SMS. I do use Email, but mainly for the chain jokes, and junk. Never for communication. If I can’t see you, I at the very least want to hear your voice on the other end of the phone. If you don’t have the time for that, then I don’t have the time for you. The End.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..Love Is In the Air – Lovebugs
Comment by MindyMom
| May 15th, 2009
Very sad. Marriage is challenging enough without those distractions. If I were out with my man I would want to enjoy the moment!
MindyMom´s last blog post..Flashback Friday
Comment by Just Me...
| May 15th, 2009
Just because they were sitting together, doesn’t really mean they were really ‘out’ together… It could be they just wanted a change of atmosphere for the time being.. I’m guilty of that.. :)
Comment by QTMama
| May 15th, 2009
I’m a people watcher, always. Doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing, I’m watching people. And, I must say, I’m always shocked at how two people can have dinner together and not speak to each other. I see it all the time!
QTMama´s last blog post..Ghosts, Power and Sex Toys
Comment by dadshouse
| May 15th, 2009
QTMama – are you doing this “people watching” while out in a restaurant, not talking to your date? (Haha! I’m just teasing!!!)
Comment by notasoccermom
| May 15th, 2009
I feel the same way.. Why did they bother going out and lighting a candle? they could have had a glass of wine at home in front of the TV or the computer.
Maybe it is just those of us who crave that type of relationship who spit at the way they abuse it.
notasoccermom´s last blog post..Mothers Day and Such
Comment by Andrea as Venus
| May 15th, 2009
It’s the modern age these days! All the technology in the world can be a bad thing when all you do is ignore each other. What needs to happen is connecting by actually talking. I know some couples who text each other… when they are in the same house.
Sad but true.
Blogging Mama Andrea from The Real World
Andrea as Venus´s last blog post..I Don’t Get It
Comment by Daddy Geek Boy
| May 15th, 2009
At home WonderWife™ and I will sit in separate corners of our house and plug in, but in those rare instances when we are actually out on a date…no way.
Comment by Kori
| May 15th, 2009
I tell you, if I had a man who would be willing to take me to dinner and it was all romantic and stuff, the LAST thing I would be doing would be texting or any of that. In fact, I would probably be on his lap with a breadstick in one hand and a party favor in the other because I’d be so happy. Plus I don’t even own a cell phone. :)
Kori´s last blog post..Friday Fragments and a Clue
Comment by Honey
| May 15th, 2009
I struggle with the fact that my computer is in our living room and I can see it while the TV is on…I will NEVER buy a crackberry because I KNOW I would be even more addicted to it than the BF is to his.
Honey´s last blog post..Stomp, Anniversaries, Obama, and Vacations
Comment by Jillian
| May 15th, 2009
Yep. I am constantly reminding my other half that he needs to put down the phone. When I ask what he’s checking for he always says that work might be emailing, but really? It can wait.
Jillian´s last blog post..Get over it, it’s all in the past
Comment by Hanna
| May 15th, 2009
For real, I’d be so turned on by the fact I have an actual in the flesh man sitting in front of me, with a romanic dinner going on, there is no WAY I’d be on the friggin phone.
Hanna´s last blog post..The Phone
Comment by The Exception
| May 15th, 2009
Maybe they were sexting each other? ;)
A reflection of today’s society. I have yet to figure out why people prefer their phones and their work to the world that they are in, right there, at the moment!! I mean, really. I have been in mid conversation with people only to have them take a call and end the night on the phone. Am I really THAT boring? ;)
I think I would find a way to keep a man’s interest… candle light, wine, the ability to put my foot to good use under the table… that phone wouldn’t have his attention for long!
The Exception´s last blog post..The Y
Comment by Shelle-BlokThoughts
| May 15th, 2009
Not always… but when you KNOW so much about someone… talk to them EVERYDAY see them EVERYDAY… when you go out and all you have to talk about is the kids and work because you know everything else about that person… conversation during dinner that relaxes you… ummmmm is sometimes non-existent.
In fact the other day when my husband and I went out for dinner, when we got our check I looked at him and said, “we haven’t said a WORD to each other all dinner”… then we just laughed.
It’s sad… I know. But we didn’t twitter or email? Does that give us points?
K and I loved your comment on Venus vs. Mars… made me smile!
Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog post..The Flower Girls–Friday Foto Finish Fiesta
Comment by Kimberly
| May 15th, 2009
In college I once observed a couple eat an entire meal without speaking to each other, and it made me feel very sad. But I think the couple you observed makes me feel even sadder. I like to think that the couple I saw were at least maybe thinking about each other in their silence, even if they had negative or frustrated thoughts. But if the couple you saw was so busy with their thoughts on others and other things, then they were perhaps even more distant with one another. Either way, I hope this doesn’t become a trend in our society between couples since we already see it among strangers, friends, and family.
Kimberly´s last blog post..TGIFs: #1
Comment by Janet
| May 15th, 2009
Wow, that is really bizarre.
It drives me nuts when I’m out with someone (not a date situation) and they are constantly checking their phone/texting/etc. I know I’m not THAT boring. They’re just THAT rude!
Janet´s last blog post..Online Dating–Not For the Faint of Heart
Comment by SweetPeaSurry
| May 15th, 2009
Awww how sad that they sat there mobiling all night. They were probably texting eachother though, so maybe that’s alright!!! lol
SweetPeaSurry´s last blog post..FRIDAY’S FEAST III(aka FF)
Comment by Proud Canuck Mama
| May 15th, 2009
That is so sad!
Proud Canuck Mama´s last blog post..I’m back
Comment by Sandrita
| May 15th, 2009
How do you know that they twittered ?
I refuse to sign up on Twitter. If I did, I would probably give updates on juvenile things. It’s best that I just have this blog.
Sandrita´s last blog post..You should do me because I helped women carry their strollers upstairs……
Comment by Pinnythewu
| May 15th, 2009
That is so sad. I hate it when my husband texts in front of me. hate hate hate it!
Pinnythewu´s last blog post..A step closer to the new me
Comment by dadshouse
| May 15th, 2009
We were sitting at the next table, and I could see the wife’s screen on her mobile device. I also saw both their expressions – the husband was staring intently at his mobile device, and the wife gave a sigh of resignation, and did mindless mobile stuff so she wasn’t sitting there doing nothing.
Shelle – my daughter is 17, and we have a vibrant dinner table conversation every night (she’s with me half time). Granted, some of the talk is parenting, so it changes as she grows. But we’ve been talking during meals for 15 years now. We talk about our days. We talk about the news. We talk about books and music. We talk about pop culture. We tell jokes. I simply don’t believe a husband and wife know each other so well that there is absolutely nothing to talk about.
Comment by Divorced Lifestyle
| May 16th, 2009
I have a friend that I go out to the local pub with. He too, would text while we were out. I told him that he needs to spend some time in the present, enjoy the people that are with him in the here and now, and stop living in a “device.”
Divorced Lifestyle´s last blog post..Verizon Discount
Comment by wendy
| May 16th, 2009
that is just pure bull shit———–People need to leave that stuff alone, at least for an hour for an intimate dinner date. I don’t Twitter (haven’t a clue) and use my cell phone rarely (to the chagrin of my kids who say I never have it on when they need me —–my response, I only have it for emergencies) I do like to blog though. Facebook rarely –kinda weird. I bet the Russians got LUCKY —-and the lady and man on the date can go home and stroke their cell phones. Fun———–
wendy´s last blog post..A SMELL….A TASTE…..A MEMORY
Comment by Amanda
| May 16th, 2009
Hey. I am really liking your site. Thanks for the comment earlier. It was great to see new faces post comments. I’ll be sticking around reading your blog for a bit, hope you do the same.
Thanks!
Amanda´s last blog post..It hit me. Hard.
Comment by Shelle-BlokThoughts
| May 16th, 2009
dadshouse– Believe it… My sisters that I see all.the.time and talk to on the phone a.lot. we have funny and interesting conversations constantly.
I think both parties have to be into conversing… and when you’re finally out alone on a date without the kids… sometimes being exhausted gets in the way…
I don’t know… I get what you’re saying, but I also understand and have been at table with my husband where we haven’t said a word…
We don’t twitter or talk on our phones or anything… we just people watch and eat in silence. It’s actually not a bad thing… but my guy isn’t really someone to filler talk… it has to have a point.
And it doesn’t happen everytime we go out… but it does happen. Maybe it’s the same for that couple? i don’t know.
BTW… just read your comment back to me on HotDads… that was FUNNY! :)
Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog post..The Flower Girls–Friday Foto Finish Fiesta
Comment by krn
| May 17th, 2009
See? We single parents are not missing a thing!
;)
kidding~
Comment by Lance
| May 17th, 2009
Haha, that an awesome observation. I would never dream of twittering while on a date with my wife/girlfriend. I have shot text messages, but definitely not maintained a convo while on a date. Kinda rude. Course, maybe they are serious techheads and that’s a serious part of their lives.
Lance´s last blog post..Man Breaks Up With Ex-Girlfriend, Claims It Was Too Much Hassle
Comment by mama llama
| May 17th, 2009
I think of that often, even if merely sitting at lunch with a girlfriend and suddenly, whoever calls is more important that I am (usually that happens at another table, but I wonder how that other person feels). Are we becoming desensitized? Or are my standards just waaaaay too high?
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog post..a thought for the day
Comment by Susan
| May 18th, 2009
Another reason I won’t cross the dark side and Twitter or buy me a crackberry. How very sad – but great blogging material. Thank goodness other people do those things! ;)
Susan´s last blog post..Taking a bow
Comment by cyndi
| May 19th, 2009
That makes me sad. That’s such a huge no no for me at dinner, no matter how far into a relationship I am. The occaisional call for work I can accept, since I have a 24/7 job and sometimes know I’ll have to inturrupt to deal with an on going crisis. But not like that. It makes me feel so old to say it, but I miss the simpler days of actual commuication before cell phones and texting, when we didn’t have acess to the entire world 24/7 yet actually, somehow survived. :-(
cyndi´s last blog post..Remember me?
Comment by katherine.
| May 26th, 2009
I am fairly certain this is what we looked like the past two weeks. We’d get to a town…find a little restaurant…start texting….order…fireup the laptop.
but we were talking to one another…but I am sure other diners were rolling their eyes.
katherine.´s last blog post..In Idaho…they are just a little more free…