Comments on: Giving Back Starts Young

By: Brandy

Brandy — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:38:44 +0000

So, am I NOT supposed to say “Thank You”!? Or “You’re my HERO” when someone does something nice for me? My kids, ages 16 and 18, have volunteered for several community non profit productions that benefit the food bank (or another part of the community in some other way). We’ve organized a Pirate Treasure hunt…which became an annual event. We’ve donated time to design and maintain the website as well. We started a Cruise in to drive out hunger. We have designed and printed and donated the t shirts to sell to raise even more money. I make SURE to say thank you to every person involved whether it’s my kids or their friends or strangers.

Have you ever opened a door for someone who didn’t say thank you? It happens often. When you teach your children to volunteer and not expect any kind of thank you or recognition…you’re teaching them to NOT say thank you when people do things nice for them. “Do it for your own benefit” “Be proud of what you did” that’s all well and good, but we’re now in a world where recognition is of only BAD behavior. Recognize the good! Reward it! (Not with money, but with recognition) We don’t need to raise martyrs. “I’ve even heard “I shouldn’t have to say thank you because you did what you were supposed to do” SURE you should! When your husband takes out the trash – kiss him and say “Thank You”!

Respect and gratitude have gone out the window. Volunteering benefits everybody. I recommend it to my clients who are going through a divorce and are focused only on their heartache. It’s really a boon to the soul. But say “Thank You“!

In mid September 2001, after the twin towers went down, my daughter and I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. My daughter has always loved the 4th of July. She collects flags, we have big parties, red white and blue are her favorite colors. (Still to this day). We had gone to the lake house to get her flag collection to take home and display in our yard at home.

As we approached the toll booths we noticed that only one of the booths didn’t have a flag displayed in the window. I paid our toll to the bored looking toll operator, then I handed her one of my daughters flags. She gasped, and then her smile lit up the night. She screamed and announced to the other toll booths over the intercom “I have a FLAG!! I have a flag! These people gave me a flag!!” The other booth operators gave us a thumbs up and pounded on their windows. The bells were going off and lights were flashing. She told us that she couldn’t find one anywhere. All the stores were sold out of flags. She had tears in her eyes. She told us thank you at least a dozen times. She was still smiling and bouncing up and down as we drove off. My 9 year old daughter was silent for a full minute then she whispered “That was cool”

In one scenario she learned how wonderful giving was and she learned how to make a giver feel wonderful as well.

Today, she loves volunteering and she goes over the top to say thank you when people give to her or volunteer in any community project she has her hand in. There’s never a lack of volunteers on her team.

If we want to teach our kids how to give. Show them how good it feels – and tell them you’re proud of them.

By: Mark

Mark — Wed, 20 May 2009 17:29:02 +0000

Great article, thanks for the link. A good reminder to us all. Mark´s last blog post..White Knuckles or Hands In the Air – How Do You Ride?

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 20 May 2009 03:46:44 +0000

Krn – yes, there were interesting women there! I love artsy people. But, um, let’s just say it was more of a senior citizen crowd. So, no, I didn’t score any numbers, or even try.

By: krn

krn — Wed, 20 May 2009 01:51:32 +0000

Being involved in the community and giving back is important to pass on to our kids. I don’t have issue with requiring community service as part of an educational program. While I agree that self motivation, giving from the heart and sincere generosity is the spirit of “true” volunteerism, it’s also a good lesson to be involved for any reason, then later realize how the work benefits everyone involved. Even those who are self motivated usually understand that volunteerism goes both ways, it helps the receiver and the giver. Let’s not kid ourselves, there is some selfishness in altruism, as it simply feels great to help out. Many of us are return volunteers due to that really good feeling we get making a connection with a person who needs help or by supporting a cause that we believe in.

Sounds like a fun family outing. It’s weird that the woman didn’t get the concept of a free program. I do hope you asked her if she’d be willing to loan out her yacht for a week or so to help support single parents in need of a vacation (the 1st annual dad’s house readers party, of course!). ;)

Sooooooooo Dad’s, I know I’m not the only one wondering if you met any interesting women at the art show. Spill, por favor.

By: notasoccermom

notasoccermom — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:22:34 +0000

oh and btw- I love street fairs and art festivals... even if I cant afford purchases. notasoccermom´s last blog post..Girls Night Out- Then Climbing the mountain

By: notasoccermom

notasoccermom — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:06:16 +0000

Great post. I grew up watching my parents and the way they treated others. We were certainly not well-off and that may have made a difference. I feel that when you have not lived in poverty or gone without in your lifetime, it is harder to understand fully. I am sure she meant no harm in donating but maybe she could have volunteered her time, or offered it to the rotary club for thier own charitable funds. The one thing I really hate, and have already spoken with my kids about, is when charities are only used for tax breaks. Although it is put to good use. I see it as dirty money notasoccermom´s last blog post..Girls Night Out- Then Climbing the mountain

By: T

Tue, 19 May 2009 20:25:42 +0000

What a great article and lesson for young children. But perhaps the older woman just wanted to give the child some money because she was touched? Besides, everyone looks at money differently, no?

I should do more of this with my kids. They are already very aware of environmental concerns and poverty. They keep me VERY aware of it too. They are always watching, aren’t they?