April´s last blog post..Kitchen bonding

All so very true and hurtful, when you’re the recipient.

If the ladies were fishing for compliments, that practice is still a symptom of low self-esteem. Been there, done that; it was the fallout of abusive husbands. It’s a terrible hole to climb up out of, and the importance our society places on physical beauty makes it more difficult for ‘average-looking’ people.

Many of us live the truth that what’s inside is more important than what’s outside. Unfortunately, our social mores do not reflect this attitude.

It’s a huge dating foul for women to do that in my book.

Believe it or not, men are guilty of the same thing. I’ve had my dates ask me if I found them attractive or to tell me point blank what I thought of them.

Sandrita´s last blog post..Daddy is One Creepy Man

Alicia´s last blog post..Where Have All the Single Dads Gone?

sorry to hear about your recent dating ‘fun’
i have had similar experiences. i told a woman that had been divorced that i wasnt yet divorced, but my marriage is completely over…she lives in my neighborhood and is a single parent of a child about the same age as mine (4 years) and we just met to get a cup of coffee and hang out and we could have easily been friends, but she just couldnt get past my not-yet-confirmed-divorced status…

i am wating for the fun part of divorce :-)

i think venting is ok, right dad??

-jason

Also, doesn’t asking a question like this on a first date lower their overall attractiveness? I mean, personality, confidence, and so forth factor in to the overall package, and this seems like a real turn-off to me–if not a red flag, then perhaps at least a dark pink one.

It reminds me of the first date I had not too long ago when the guy, hearing that my divorce was in process but not yet final, said, “You’re gonna get back with your ex, aren’t you?” It seemed a little strange, but I shrugged it off as a joke, or perhaps a sign that he was starting to be into me, because we were really hitting it off. We dated for a few weeks, had great times and became pretty close, but for some reason he kept teasing me about all the dates I was getting from the site where we’d met (I actually had only one other date during the time we were seeing each other because I hadn’t come across anyone else that seemed worth the babysitting money).

I’m sure everyone can guess who was the one who was still dating others despite insisting on our third date that he “wasn’t interested in meeting anybody else” and after our fourth declared I had “captured his heart” and he “cared about me deeply”–but who, perhaps inevitably, let me know a week later that he had “established a relationship with someone else”! (Oh, but he “did not want to upset” me because we had “developed a close friendship.” ugh.)

Beware the person who expresses this sort of insecurity, even jokingly–when someone is so worried about being hurt, they are usually driven to hedge their bets, and if they deem you the bad risk, that can really leave you out in the cold.

Forgive me for venting, folks–another war story from the trenches of post-divorce dating. Sigh.

Amy´s last blog post..love (two takes)

Jason – good analysis. They were both out of their marriages for several years. Not sure when their last dating relationship ended.

Annie – I agree asking the source is better than polling others. But there won’t be followup dates, so this became blog fodder.