Spoon – My Place Or Yours?
As a single dad on the dating scene, the only kind of spoon I care about is when I’m snuggled in bed with a woman, both of us on our sides, facing the same direction, bodies pressed tight. Clothing optional.
So all you perverts who came for a story about spooning will be delighted to hear this one actually involves my ex. Sadly, it also involves a real spoon.
We were at one of those end-of-the-school-and-sport-year potlucks when I noticed something familiar about the dish my ex brought. The serving spoon was mine. WTF?
When we separated, my ex was eager to get new dishes and silverware, and I was stuck taking on the old stuff. Oh, I suppose I could have given it to Goodwill and gotten something new myself. But I figured as soon as I remarried, any new woman in my life would want to buy things for the house that suited her taste. (Remember my tale of two couches? I endured an empty living room for a year, hoping some new girlfriend/wife would furnish it. I eventually hired a decorator.)
Nine years after my divorce, I’m still using the same silverware my wife and I used when we were married. I’m fine with that. But when I saw the poluck serving spoon my ex brought, I wondered why she’d been holding out.
“That’s my spoon,” I said.
“Oh,” she said. “You’re right.”
“Were you planning on ever giving to me?”
“Um, yeah. I guess I kept forgetting. Sorry.”
All those years of spooning while we were married turned into nine years of her keeping a spoon.
What would Freud say about that?
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Comment by SoloDad
| May 26th, 2009
As Freud would say, ‘Sometimes a spoon is just a spoon.’ ;-)
SoloDad´s last blog post..Summers: Hard Times for Working Solo-Parents
Comment by vinomom
| May 26th, 2009
I find it odd that you even recognized your serving spoon after nine years.
vinomom´s last blog post..Memorial Weekend Breakdown (I’m partied out!)
Comment by MommaSunshine
| May 26th, 2009
It’s weird how things like that can happen after a breakup. Did it genuinely bother you that she still had your spoon? Just curious….
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..What’s so great about US, anyhow? – Part I
Comment by Andrea as Venus
| May 26th, 2009
You know I don’t know if Freud would touch that one. It would come back to being about your mom or something.
Andrea as Venus´s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts : Watch This
Comment by Jimmy
| May 26th, 2009
Well better for your ex to take a spoon and have to be asked to return it later than take a knife and have it returned without asking in your back.
Comment by Drew G
| May 26th, 2009
I was thinking the same thing, better a spoon then a knife right. Either way Freud would make it about sex and your mother most likely.
Drew G´s last blog post..Vroom!!
Comment by Danielle
| May 26th, 2009
Now if it were a fork? Hmmmm
Danielle´s last blog post..The mini panic attack
Comment by Mark
| May 26th, 2009
Interesting! I guess she really didn’t give it fork!
Mark´s last blog post..None Of My Business
Comment by T
| May 26th, 2009
Wow! Lots of good puns up there! My brain is just not awake enough to come up with any.
You do bring up a good point. I remember how difficult it was to split up things when we separated. Thankfully, he felt entitled to some things that I didn’t have an interest in and vice versa. But those that we both wanted? Whew. It was more difficult than talking about MONEY.
Divorce is a funny things…
T´s last blog post..Cautious Optimism
Comment by Honey
| May 26th, 2009
Haha! I bought a pair of pajamas at my favorite store in Vegas this past weekend…it says “spooning leads to forking.”
What do you think of that?! :-)
Honey´s last blog post..Vegas Memorial Weekend Sextacular: Preview
Comment by MindyMom
| May 26th, 2009
I didn’t know guys recognized flatware patterns – especially 9 years later. Dude.
MindyMom´s last blog post..Me: The Common Denominator
Comment by coolred38
| May 26th, 2009
You know…she could have wanted you to notice the spoon as a secret message to you that she missed your spooning sessions. Its all about the hidden messages and how to read them…lol.
Comment by dadshouse
| May 26th, 2009
Mindy and Vino Mom – I recognize the pattern because it’s in my house now. I eat with this silverware every single day.
Jimmy – good call! I’m glad it’s not a knife too.
Drew G – ha. Yes, Freud makes everything about my own mother and sex. I wonder if my own mom has any of my spoons… nah, ain’t goin’ there!
Momma Sunshine – it did not bother me that she had the spoon. I’ve been getting by fine without it for 9 years. It did make me say “WTF!” – but only so much as me wondering why she never bothered to send it over to my house. It doesn’t match her new flatware. Very random. Or not.
What would Freud think? Ha!
Comment by Amy
| May 26th, 2009
Um, David, why do you think it’s perverted to want to read about spooning (the non-utensil type), clothed or unclothed? Seems pretty normal to me. Hmm.
Your comment about decorating reminds me of Jonathan Coulton’s song, IKEA, a paean to the place “selling for college kids and divorced men….if you don’t have a home you can buy one there”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTJEtMSuMqg
[add emoticon for bittersweet smile here]
Amy´s last blog post..old saint nick’s
Comment by Kori
| May 26th, 2009
I can’t believe you recognize a spoon after nine years; I could recognize mine as being mine if it were the next freaking DAY!
Kori´s last blog post..Apparently I Have Some Issues
Comment by dadshouse
| May 26th, 2009
Amy – the perv comment was a joke, as was the Freud crack. Welcome to my sense of humor!
Kori – it was the next day. I have that flatware in my house. I’ve had it for 9 years of divorce, and 9 years of marriage. That’s 18 years of looking at the same flatware – pretty hard not to recognize it.
A few people didn’t understand that part. Did I type something wrong or misleading in the post?
Comment by eyeswideopen
| May 26th, 2009
I have heard that spooning leads to forking…well thats what I heard.
Comment by The Exception
| May 26th, 2009
I am up for a good spooning – your place though as I think it is warmer!
The Exception´s last blog post..Choices
Comment by SingleParentPlus2
| May 26th, 2009
I think Freud would say she needed a spoon. Sometimes it’s just too much of a hassle to find a good serving spoon.
SingleParentPlus2´s last blog post..Teaching my children to resolve conflict on their own
Comment by justrun
| May 26th, 2009
If that spoon could talk…
justrun´s last blog post..And you know what? They really did have cheese!
Comment by krn
| May 26th, 2009
Ooooooooooooh, there’s clearly some very deep meaning here. Here’s my interpretation (free of charge, which is about what it’s worth, hehe):
Your ex hates to loose her matching flatware by having it disappear at a party and she is either environmentally conscious or just plain doesn’t like plastic serving spoons, so she took the serving pieces when she left for this very purpose and got busted last weekend, nine years later. That’s a long time of getting away with using your spoon, so she’s secretly thrilled with how long it lasted. ;)
Put on some sexy workout clothes and get outside for some exercise and flirting, Dad’s. You need a girlfriend to hold. I’m sure there’s a woman out there with a sexy body, an open heart and an appreciation for a fit, sweet man.
Comment by notasoccermom
| May 26th, 2009
I agree with Krn. you need to spoon.
I think I would recognize something like that.My divorce came at a time of hard times and we both tried hiding things.. whether they were worth anything or not. Just so say that we got away with it.
BTW- none of my flatware matches.
notasoccermom´s last blog post..Memories- Making New, Remembering Old and Fearing Potential
Comment by Just Me...
| May 26th, 2009
Hmm.. Well, at least you have your spoon back..
Even if it’s not as much fun as ‘real’ spooning!! :) :)
Just Me…´s last blog post..On Vacation!!
Comment by Amy
| May 26th, 2009
Sorry I missed the joke–I think my sense of humor got dented or scratched over the weekend…will recover soon, though (a good dose of utensil puns, as here, should do the trick!)
Amy´s last blog post..for those new grads and [single] dads?
Comment by Janet
| May 26th, 2009
I got it, David! Although some of the comments on this post are pretty darn funny too!! :)
Janet´s last blog post..Limbo
Comment by MommaSunshine
| May 27th, 2009
What would Freud say? Likely that, “Sometimes a spoon is just a spoon…”
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..What’s so great about US, anyhow? Part II