Comments on: Get Divorced! http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/ Single Parent Dating, Raising Children, Parenting Teens Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:03:21 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: shannon http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15480 shannon Fri, 05 Jun 2009 17:09:33 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15480 I couldn't agree more. I have a tremendous amount of scorn for divorce. I'm sure if I had worked harder, I could have made it work out with my ex-husband. But I was humiliated and embarrassed and felt like forgiving him for an indiscretion would be weakness and "caving in". However, I felt like I was being strong and independent. I've evolved a great deal (and still continue to do so), but how I would have loved to wake up in the morning with the father of my child, and have her crawl into bed with both of us to watch TV on a Saturday. She's 9-so that's certainly not something that would have the same vibe with her stepdad (no matter how great he is). Whoa. I've never admitted that I could have made it work. But then again, I don't usually look backwards. It's just too sad. And I don't really like sad. <abbr><em><abbr><em>shannon´s last blog post..<a href="http://bsmommy.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/a-mover-and-a-shaker/" rel="nofollow">A Mover and A Shaker…</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> I couldn’t agree more. I have a tremendous amount of scorn for divorce. I’m sure if I had worked harder, I could have made it work out with my ex-husband. But I was humiliated and embarrassed and felt like forgiving him for an indiscretion would be weakness and “caving in”. However, I felt like I was being strong and independent. I’ve evolved a great deal (and still continue to do so), but how I would have loved to wake up in the morning with the father of my child, and have her crawl into bed with both of us to watch TV on a Saturday. She’s 9-so that’s certainly not something that would have the same vibe with her stepdad (no matter how great he is). Whoa. I’ve never admitted that I could have made it work. But then again, I don’t usually look backwards. It’s just too sad. And I don’t really like sad.

shannon´s last blog post..A Mover and A Shaker…

]]> By: Eathan http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15438 Eathan Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:18:36 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15438 That's a great experience. I wish I was there to see the look on their face when you changed your advice. It just proves that if ya look hard enough, there's always an excuse. I'm sure after all this time.. you see something they haven't experienced yet. <abbr><em><abbr><em>Eathan´s last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IDateWhite/~3/iiJuoDVZ9YI/" rel="nofollow">Multiracial Americans</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> That’s a great experience. I wish I was there to see the look on their face when you changed your advice. It just proves that if ya look hard enough, there’s always an excuse.

I’m sure after all this time.. you see something they haven’t experienced yet.

Eathan´s last blog post..Multiracial Americans

]]> By: Amy http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15434 Amy Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:22:34 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15434 Yup, it's the old zen conundrum--it's so hard to be happy with what you have (or even to know you have it when you have it). It's not till you get rid of it that you realize you really wanted it. Or something. (P.S. "Nightly spooning with morning sex?" Augh--you're killin' me! Sigh.) <abbr><em><abbr><em>Amy´s last blog post..<a href="http://saint-nobody.blogspot.com/2009/06/kidz.html" rel="nofollow">kidz</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> Yup, it’s the old zen conundrum–it’s so hard to be happy with what you have (or even to know you have it when you have it). It’s not till you get rid of it that you realize you really wanted it. Or something.

(P.S. “Nightly spooning with morning sex?” Augh–you’re killin’ me! Sigh.)

Amy´s last blog post..kidz

]]> By: Cathouse Teri http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15422 Cathouse Teri Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:35:21 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15422 I was thinking about this last night while I was doing the dishes. Nearly twenty years I spent in a terrible relationship and many people told me just to try and understand him and to do whatever it took to stay married. Awhile back, I was thinking about these people and had an overwhelming urge to send each of them a card that says, "You suck." <abbr><em><abbr><em>Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..<a href="http://cathouseteri.blogspot.com/2009/05/things-dont-get-more-beautiful-than.html" rel="nofollow">Things Don't Get More Beautiful Than This</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> I was thinking about this last night while I was doing the dishes. Nearly twenty years I spent in a terrible relationship and many people told me just to try and understand him and to do whatever it took to stay married. Awhile back, I was thinking about these people and had an overwhelming urge to send each of them a card that says, “You suck.”

Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Things Don’t Get More Beautiful Than This

]]> By: steph http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15421 steph Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:15:59 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15421 I gave a good friend of mine advice on divorce. I found out she was separated from her husband and I went to visit. I tried to be neutral because it was really up to her and her situation. I told her divorce is not easy. It has been two years and I am still trying to get my footing. I pretty much left with nothing except for the hope of a better life. It hasn't been easy to have to start from ground zero. My friend decided to work on her marriage and they have remained married. I am glad that maybe my honesty & reality about divorce helped her stay in her marriage. I never said "don't get divorced" even though that is what I was thinking. I wanted her to know that whatever her decision I was there for her and would not judge her. Her husband is a good man and I didn't want her to go through the mess of a divorce. Everyone's situation is different and we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. I gave a good friend of mine advice on divorce. I found out she was separated from her husband and I went to visit. I tried to be neutral because it was really up to her and her situation. I told her divorce is not easy. It has been two years and I am still trying to get my footing. I pretty much left with nothing except for the hope of a better life. It hasn’t been easy to have to start from ground zero.

My friend decided to work on her marriage and they have remained married. I am glad that maybe my honesty & reality about divorce helped her stay in her marriage. I never said “don’t get divorced” even though that is what I was thinking. I wanted her to know that whatever her decision I was there for her and would not judge her. Her husband is a good man and I didn’t want her to go through the mess of a divorce. Everyone’s situation is different and we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time.

]]> By: coolred38 http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15418 coolred38 Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:15:49 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15418 I on the other hand was married to a controlling abusive husband for 20 years...in a country that does not favour women in divorce issues...and everyone was advising me to stay married...have patience...dont try and win in the court cause you will be the loser. Lose your rights and lose your kids. They were right of course...a few attempts at a divorce through the years had me facing judges that seemed absolutely astounded that I would even think of getting a divorce much less have the audacity to enter a court room and plead my case. They all sent me home with orders to "be a better wife". Eventually found out that this animal I was forced to stay married to was sexually abusing our kids...if I had gotten the divorce way back when I wanted it and not been forced to go home and "be the good wife"...I might have saved my children from so much misery and grief. Advice for the most part sucks...most people dont know what your going through...havent walked in your shoes as you said...so havent got a clue what will work for you...sigh. btw divorced now...2 years...you better believe I didnt walk out of that courtroom that time with anything less then my freedom and my childrens lives back. I on the other hand was married to a controlling abusive husband for 20 years…in a country that does not favour women in divorce issues…and everyone was advising me to stay married…have patience…dont try and win in the court cause you will be the loser. Lose your rights and lose your kids. They were right of course…a few attempts at a divorce through the years had me facing judges that seemed absolutely astounded that I would even think of getting a divorce much less have the audacity to enter a court room and plead my case. They all sent me home with orders to “be a better wife”.

Eventually found out that this animal I was forced to stay married to was sexually abusing our kids…if I had gotten the divorce way back when I wanted it and not been forced to go home and “be the good wife”…I might have saved my children from so much misery and grief.

Advice for the most part sucks…most people dont know what your going through…havent walked in your shoes as you said…so havent got a clue what will work for you…sigh.

btw divorced now…2 years…you better believe I didnt walk out of that courtroom that time with anything less then my freedom and my childrens lives back.

]]> By: Amanda http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/02/get-divorced/comment-page-1/#comment-15417 Amanda Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:55:38 +0000 http://dadshouseblog.com/?p=6651#comment-15417 Divorce could be horrible, but realizing it's just not working out anymore and deciding to get that divorce could and probably will be for the better. People shouldn't be living in situations they hate. <abbr><em><abbr><em>Amanda´s last blog post..<a href="http://margaritasandmemories.com/2009/06/03/via-texas/" rel="nofollow">Via Texas.</a></em></abbr></abbr></em> Divorce could be horrible, but realizing it’s just not working out anymore and deciding to get that divorce could and probably will be for the better. People shouldn’t be living in situations they hate.

Amanda´s last blog post..Via Texas.

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