Meeting a Love Interest in My Rattiest T-Shirt
My kids and I slept in on a weekend morning, and I was cooking breakfast in a ratty T-shirt when the doorbell rang. (For the uninitiated, ratty T-shirts are way more comfortable than pajamas.) I peeked through the window, expecting to see one of my son’s friends, but instead found the dad whose home shares a back fence with mine. I wasn’t exactly dressed for company, but what could I do? I opened the door.
Turns out he wasn’t alone. He stood there with his wife and another woman. Very strange. These neighbors are very nice people, but we don’t hang out or visit too often, let alone bring along someone new when we do talk.
“Our turtle’s in your back yard,” the mom said.
I was quite sure I’d misheard. My son’s the pet owner with a turtle. Maybe one of their kids had chucked a toy over the fence, or lost a ball.
“Come on back,” I said. I waved them indoors, and led them through my house to the back yard.
As we walked, I noticed my couch was full of unfolded clean laundry. There were dust bunnies on the hardwood floors. There were shoes strewn in the TV room where we kicked them off during a DVD the night before. My house, like my ratty T-shirt, was a wreck.
Out back, the mom headed to the fence, leaving the dad and the mystery woman with me on the patio to make small talk. I suddenly sensed this woman was single, and perhaps this whole “lost something in your backyard” thing was a ruse for me to meet her. It wouldn’t be the first time some neighbor introduced me to an attractive single female friend. And of course, these neighbors might want to do just that. I’m a nice man, a good dad, a homeowner without any woman in my house.
I suddenly became extremely self conscious of my ratty T-shirt. There are holes in the collar, a hole on the chest, a big rip under one of the arms. (Hey, it’s comfortable!) It’s not like it’s judiciously torn to show off stunningly ripped abs. More like give a view of all my moles and extra weight. I pinned my arm to my body, hoping to hide the rip. As if that made any difference.
I must have looked like their slumdog neighbor.
“Found it,” the mom said. She picked up a turtle that had apparently been in my backyard since the previous night (WTF!)
“We won’t trouble you with another trip through your house,” the dad said. “We’ll leave through the gate.”
Their quickest escape.
“Nice meeting you,” the mystery woman said. She smiled. Clearly impressed with me, the bachelor dad, no doubt.
“Nice meeting you, too,” I said. I almost raised an arm to wave, but with that giant rip in the armpit, I just sort of flailed my hand.
Okay, so maybe my ratty T-shirt killed any chance I had with the mystery woman. Don’t think I’m throwing that T-shirt out! I’ll simply keep an eye out for that turtle. If it makes its way into my backyard again, I’ll change into my finest threads.
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Comment by Alicia
| June 8th, 2009
I can’t speak for women in general, but for me, I PREFER guys who are… guys! Cannot stand the polished metro look at all. If there is dirt under the fingernails that’s an even bigger turn on! Ratty T shirt? Perfect! House that actually looks like people live there? Heaven!!!!! I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if that turtle shows up tonight!
Alicia´s last blog post..Ouchy WTF Email
Comment by Laura
| June 8th, 2009
I have no doubt you looked just as sexy in that t-shirt!
And untidy houses – they are realistic! They are a sign you are real!
Laura´s last blog post..Something to think about
Comment by MindyMom
| June 8th, 2009
If I were the least bit interested in you I wouldn’t have been put off by a ratty T and laundry on the couch – especially having arrived on a Sunday morning unannounced!
But there’s no need for THREE people to come and fetch a turtle. Something was definitely up there. Hmmmm, if only some single dads lived in my neighborhood I might try that one myself!
MindyMom´s last blog post..After a Break Up
Comment by vinomom
| June 8th, 2009
I agree with Alicia! But this whole scenario is really strange. How many people does it take to find a turtle? Weird that they both came over AND brought someone along. I’d ask them about it.
vinomom´s last blog post..What I Wrote – Would you Have?
Comment by Just Me...
| June 8th, 2009
Oh, please.. She’s probably already thinking about getting you a new t-shirt!!! :)
Borrow another turtle (from the pet store), put on a decent t-shirt and take it over to their house, asking if they lost theirs again… They’ll say no, you chat them up about the woman.. Make sure wife is there.. If this mystery woman is interested, she’s told the wife…
Oh, and don’t forget to return the turtle.. :)
Just Me…´s last blog post..A Peaceful Day…
Comment by Kori
| June 8th, 2009
Bah, if she cares about what you are wearing when you are in your home on a weekend morning being comfy, you don’t want her. For what it’s worth, anyway.
Kori´s last blog post..Friday Fragments-When You Are Too Lazy to Write a Real Post
Comment by QTMama
| June 8th, 2009
Three people to find one turtle. That IS somewhat interesting, isn’t? And, dude. Seriously, if someone drops by, unannounced on a Sunday morning? PFFFFFT. That’s how it goes.
QTMama´s last blog post..Weekend Adventures
Comment by Eathan
| June 8th, 2009
3 people for one turtle? Must’ve been some Mark McGuire steroid turtle. lol
Did you get the phone number or email?
Eathan´s last blog post..Letting Your Fingers Do The Talking
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| June 8th, 2009
Explain again why that ratty t-shirt has not been tossed out? You can buy t-shirts that are in a comfy state right off the rack these days. ;)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Things Don’t Get More Beautiful Than This
Comment by Kimberly
| June 8th, 2009
LOL, you never know! My husband’s ratty T-shirt is something I can’t part with every time I wash it and see it get holier and holier. It’s an endearing part of him. Although I didn’t meet him in it, I do treasure this little part of him that he has more than one ratty T-shirt :)
Kimberly´s last blog post..June Bug Contest: Day Two
Comment by saint nobodySuc
| June 8th, 2009
Love it–such a cute story! Now the frustrating thing about these sorts of things is, what’s the next step? Is this woman a regular visitor to your neighbors? Did you find out anything about her (like where she lives, etc.)? Will opportunity, in this case, come knocking again–or will you have to knock on their door next time? hmmmmmm…..
saint nobodySuc´s last blog post..kidz
Comment by saint nobody
| June 8th, 2009
Um, don’t know where the “Suc” came from at the end of my name there…deus ex machina…
saint nobody´s last blog post..kidz
Comment by T
| June 8th, 2009
What an interesting story. And isn’t it funny how truth is SO much stranger than fiction? I agree with you… it does sound like they wanted her to check you out. Whose to say they didn’t PLANT the turtle in your yard? Hmmm….
There’s nothing wrong with being real, David. Ratty t-shirt, laundry and all.
T´s last blog post..Done.
Comment by krn
| June 8th, 2009
I bet you looked absolutely cute and sexy as hell in your ratty shirt. I hoped your hair was all messed up and that you were unshaven when I read this, too. This sort of Saturday Morning Man makes me weak in the knees. In fact, I once fell hard for just this sort of character and his kids. He had another very refined side, but the rumpled daddy look was my favorite.
Forget the shape your house was in. Doesn’t matter.
Any smart woman knows houses and cute men both clean up well.
Comment by justrun
| June 8th, 2009
So it takes three adults to come find a turtle? I’d bet not. Forget the turtle, keep an eye out for her.
Comment by Sandra
| June 8th, 2009
Wait, so was the turtle an animal or a name for a type of toy ? I just can’t imagine a turtle running away, lol.
Well, I hope she loses her turtle again. Actually, I hope she gets lost and ends up in your yard while you’re doing work without a shirt on.
Good luck :)
Sandra´s last blog post..Creme de la Creme ?
Comment by Tanya
| June 8th, 2009
oh lol, loved this story and I bet she’ll be back *wink*
Tanya´s last blog post..A bit of an update
Comment by The Exception
| June 8th, 2009
it isn’t what a man wear David, it is HOW he wears it!! ;) I have no doubt you looked very fine in your T!! It is amazing what confidence (natural) can pull off!
The Exception´s last blog post..Georgetown – Memoir Monday
Comment by Danielle
| June 8th, 2009
Geesh, your neighbor should have warned you. I can’t wait to hear if she contacts you or if the neighbors let you in on what they were doing.
I am sure you looked great.
Danielle´s last blog post..Hodge Podge of thoughts today.
Comment by searchingwithin
| June 8th, 2009
You are too funny.
If anything they will think you need a woman more, and will be loosing the turtle more often, would be my bet.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..How Will We Love?
Comment by Mark
| June 8th, 2009
Interesting story. The great thing is if she was interested, she has seen you not at your best, that is a plus! Might be worth going for. Just think how great you would look all cleaned up now that she has seen you in a ratty t-shirt.
Mark´s last blog post..Un-Boxing Spirituality
Comment by notasoccermom
| June 8th, 2009
ahhh a well worn shirt, a cluttered house on a sunday morning– just perfect!
I am sure they planned it and I am sure they planned to come unannounced on a Sunday.
now they know you are not always ‘too perfect’ and that makes you perfect.
notasoccermom´s last blog post..I have been away
Comment by Toronto Mama
| June 8th, 2009
Between you and me, ratty T-shirts are sexy.
And yeah, they were checking you out and the turtle was an accomplish. Why did they need three people to go get a turtle?
Toronto Mama´s last blog post..Day Ten: I feel alive
Comment by Toronto Mama
| June 8th, 2009
I meant “accomplice” LOL
Toronto Mama´s last blog post..Day Ten: I feel alive
Comment by katherine.
| June 8th, 2009
yeah..even if it did take three adults to look for the turtle…only ONE of them went looking in the backyard…the other two were looking for you.
Maybe your neighbors will invite you over for dinner…and she’ll be there.
sorta sounds like she caught your interest…why not call them up and ask about their friend….or show up at THEIR door on a sunday morning…turnabout is fair play.
katherine.´s last blog post..watch out for the wave
Comment by ilinap
| June 8th, 2009
The ratty shirt suited the weekend hang out vibe. You would have looked ridiculous if you were all dressed up in something pressed. I bet you look still hot and endearing.
Comment by MommaSunshine
| June 8th, 2009
I’m with torontomama – I think that the ratty t-shirt look is actually kinda sexy.
MommaSunshine´s last blog post..Is Love Enough?
Comment by CJ
| June 22nd, 2009
Had to come back and re-read this after your comment…and Yeah…that’s what I thought. Ratty t-shirt on a guy is sexy…but I don’t see anybody advocating it on a woman!!! Besides, you were cooking!!!! Guy cooking would cancel out scruffy even if it wasn’t sexy to begin with lol!