Believe me, even from my point of view, it’s not always easy to know what the “right” thing to do is. I think it really depends on the situation and what’s best for the child.

Casual dating -> the bf/gf have no need to be at any event so they are not welcome. Casual dating would be something along the lines of less than 12 months or non-exclusive dating

Long-term relationship -> bf/gf/partner/wife/husband welcome to all events. At first there likely needs to be warnings issued (”my partner is coming”) but after a while it should be recognized as a likelihood.

Yes it is awkward for the parents involved. So what? It’s about the kids. The parents need to take the high road. And yes even in the cases of spouses who cheated (because really the marriage wasn’t ruined by the cheating so much as the cheating was created by the marriage … bear in mind I condemn cheating as cowardly). Even if the other parent is only coming to events with their new partner to ‘rub it in’ to their ex-, they are welcome to come. In such a case, their bad behaviour reflects on themselves, not on you nor on the kids. In fact, your actions under such trying circumstances hold you as a fine example for your children as well as showing your character to friends/colleagues/etc.

Usually there is a lot of residual anger on one/both ex-’s part. So it becomes hard to separate our personal feelings with what is best for the children. Ultimately, in most cases where custody is shared, we also have to come to grips with the idea that what we think is best for the children and what our ex- thinks best may be contrary to each other.

Heather(dinner group enthusiast)
heather´s last blog ..The Calendar that Saved a Friendship

Which probably made it easier to create the Bruce-Demi-Ashton trifecta of awesome-sauce, since he saw himself as a failure. And, only wanting to make things work as well as possible due to this failure. It was interesting that he has said that he still loves her. Which makes me wonder if there was a level of desperation in maintaining something that was no longer in his control.

[ Of course, that's just me thinking out loud. ]

And wow! Your bolder than me to want to meet up and just talk. I couldn’t, and didn’t want that happen. I’ve directed from “prison” so-to-speak and told him what I expected through my ex. You need to report on if you successfully able to have a sit-down with her.

In these situations, we will always be tested in what we can take. I’m just waiting for him to step over the line one more time. So, you might need to create lines, and maintain the areas you have control over.

If they do get married, then it is very likely that you two will have much greater communication. Especially when dealing with shared custody.

I saw one couple, whenever the ex called and the new wife picked up, she wouldn’t say anything more than “hello” and then throw the phone on the couch and say “it’s her”. That’s all she would say.

So sometimes, less is more. :D
Travis´s last blog ..Your The One That I Have Decided

I so appreciate your candor. ***GULP*** Thank you, may I have another! I keep feeling like I’m reaching the end of what I can take…but the fact is, for my children, I’ll take whatever is necessary.

I long for something that does not exist — rules of engagement. I have generated and adhered to a set of these rules and I’m utterly disappointed that it seems they do not have such a code.

Thanks for the advice, I’ll continue to do my best.

BTW – Bruce rocks and while your “Ashtonette” did make me laugh, at this point it’s giving way more credit than is due.

I have asked to meet with her, lunch, a drink…whatever to just talk to her. Not as the woman who trashed my marriage, but as the woman who is spending time with my children. To my knowledge (through my ex) she has declined.

C’mon, thread of hope – hold steady. :)