Hot Mother in a Boys Clothing Store
I took my teenage daughter and son shopping for summer clothes the other day. There in a boys clothing store was a hot mother with her five-year-old son. Dark hair, olive skin, pretty, slim, grounded. Just my type. The sort of woman who makes my head turn so hard, I get whiplash. She looked late-30s, which is totally age appropriate for me.
My son was in a changing room trying on clothes, my teen daughter checking out the cool skate shoes, and I was eyeing the hottie mom, looking for a wedding band. I’ve asked women out in front of my kids on a few occasions, so I fully intended to chat her up.
Only problem – her 5-year-old son was looking back at me, giving me the stink eye. WTF!?
When I was five, I noticed when men other than my dad were checking out my mom, but only if there was a change in her mood. The produce guy in the grocery store could tell her about a new shipment of Pippins, no problem. But if she lit up in any way out of the ordinary – a blush, a smile, a batting of the eyelash – then I had a sense there was more going on between them than just fruit.
That said, at five, I was way too young to know or even think some man might hit on my mom or flirt.
Back to the boys clothing store.
The mom didn’t seem to notice me at all. Or maybe she was playing hard to get. We were a good twenty feet apart. I was looking for that ring, and simultaneously trying to make some eye contact. But she didn’t give me any signs: no blush, no smile, nary an eyelash batted.
And yet – there was her five-year-old glaring at me, as if his hot mother was his girlfriend or wife, and I needed to back the f**k off.
Maybe she was married. But what would a five-year-old know about me trying to flirt?
I’m guessing it’s something he learned from watching his dad – mark your territory, protect your woman at all cost. Don’t wait for any guys to advance, simply defend by snarling.
My son didn’t find any clothes in that store that fit. And I didn’t get any hot mother’s phone number.
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Comment by Just Me...
| June 25th, 2009
Okay, next time, when the five year old gives you the stick eye, remember.. He’s five, you’re, um, older.. He’s little, your big.. You can out think him… :) :)
Sheesh, I can’t believe you didn’t eve get a phone number!!! :) :) :)~~~~
Comment by FJ
| June 25th, 2009
Good for the kid – being protective at such a young age :)
Seems like if this woman was interested she would have been more engaging, and the 5 year old side story just added to the frustration…can’t win ‘em all!
Comment by me
| June 25th, 2009
wow
I read your blog frequently and I really am surprised at the cockiness
I mean…really!
Maybe she wasn’t interested! HELLO! you’re all checking her out and she doesn’t seem to notice you?
Have you ever heard of “planned ignoring”
Maybe you’re not her type.
Maybe you seemed a creepy staring guy to her and the kid.
unfortunately I’m not good at the ignoring part, and I get annoyed and give the “stink eye” myself
when someone I am not interested doesn’t take a hint and contines to try for the eye contact.
I say the kid has good instincts
Comment by Paula
| June 25th, 2009
“grounded” she seemed grounded? You can tell that by watching her skim through boys boxers? Maybe she’s grounded on Prozac? Or that two glasses one wine she had at lunch while her brat played with ketchup packets and belched…
“her 5-year-old son was looking back at me, giving me the stink eye” if his mom is hot he probably sees a Dave in every store. That little bugger could read your mind, even at 5.
“The mom didn’t seem to notice me at all. Or maybe she was playing hard to get. We were a good twenty feet apart.”
Sorry Dave, I am LMAOROF. While you were imagining your first date, date three sex and a possible long life with the olive skin lady, she was probablt thinking “Why do they always have 4 and 6 but never 5s? Fours are too tight, sixes are too big, fives are just right, but they never fucking have them. God, did I remember to put the trash can on the counter? Oh, shit, the dog will have garbage everywhere and I have to be at work at three… I hope that check engine light isn’t on when I start the car. Oh, yeah, great, two pairs in a size 5!”
On the ride home the kid said, “Did you see that man staring at you?” And she’ll say, “What guy? Oh, shit, the check engine light went on again. Do you have your seatbelt on?”
Maybe next time :-)
Comment by Optimus Prime
| June 25th, 2009
I’m with Paula on the “grounded” thing. I’m quite sure you cannot tell such a thing about a complete stranger.
No doubt, Ms. Hotness knew you were checking her out. Men do it all the time. It’s not like it’s a compliment. As for the boys irritated stare, my sons STILL dislike it when a man is looking at me with interest. And they are in their twenties.
Of course, no men should be checking out Optimus Prime. Unless they wanna get a blast from the iron fist. ;)
Comment by MindyMom
| June 25th, 2009
I agree with Paula! I was going to say pretty much the same thing but she did a way better job than I would have.
When I’m out – especially with my kids and on a mission – I am completely oblivious to who may or may not be checking me out. Kids, on thee other hand are watching and they start young.
I’m surprised you didn’t have the balls to approach her, especially if you were that attracted. What’s up with that? Are you losing your mojo? :(
MindyMom´s last blog ..On Relationships
Comment by QTMama
| June 25th, 2009
Yeah I’m gonna have to go with Paula on this one too. LOL
DH, you’re funny.
QTMama´s last blog ..Ten Honest Things
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| June 25th, 2009
Paula and “me” hit it perfectly!! So many times I may notice someone checking me out from the corner of my eye, but if they are not attractive to me, I will do EVERYTHING to avoid any sort of contact. Especially with so many more important things on my mind – like finding a pair of pants that fit my son!!
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| June 25th, 2009
Just another note – but did you pull this story out of your archives? I thought your daughter was too old to be checking out cool skate shoes – isn’t she looking at colleges? The story got a little dated to me when I read that – but correct me if I’m wrong! :)
Comment by dadshouse
| June 25th, 2009
me – I’m not cocky in person, but I do think like a guy. If I see a woman I’m attracted to, my ego convinces me that I AM THE MAN for her. Then I watch her closely and try to pick up signs as to whether I should approach her or not. That’s sort of how guys think. At least the guys who approach women in public. If it comes across as sounding cocky to you in this blog post, well, I’m trying to give you a view into my mind. That I didn’t ask her out, and I respected the fact she ignored me shows I’m not cocky in person.
Believe me, this blog would be very boring if I excused myself ahead of time for every “cocky” thought I wrote. I try not to pander to women’s tastes when I write a blog post.
Paula – I don’t “know” if she was grounded or not, but she dressed in a down to earth way, didn’t wear tons of jewelry, etc. It’s a look. She didn’t look materialistic.
Mindy – the kid freaked me out! I don’t take stink eye very well.
Comment by dadshouse
| June 25th, 2009
Single Mom in NE – no, this is not from the archives. This happened last weekend. The skate shoes were boys skateboard shoes since we were in a DC clothing shop. She was bored. The shoes are colorful. (DC is a brand. I don’t mean Washington DC!)
Comment by krn
| June 25th, 2009
Wow, lots to say here. He he, you know how to get your readers riled, eh?
So cute about the stink eye! Kids like that are such fun to hang out with once they know you. Kudos to him for being spot on about your intentions with Mom.
DH, why did you not enlist one of your kids’ help with this? I think either one could have engaged the little man while you chatted up his Mama. ;)
IF DH is hyperintuitive, maybe he could tell that she is grounded? Just saying, there are some of us like that and the fact that kiddo felt his energy so strongly is indictative of wellll, a lot of things. LOL. I haven’t met DH, so I’ve no idea if he has such skills or not, but he seems very tuned in to women– out of longing. I can relate to that and admit to eyeing up men a lot lately when in public. I can tell a lot in twenty seconds; it’s all about body language. Men are often caught off guard by being checked out, though. Women are not. I get pissed when I catch a man blatently checking out my ass when I’m bent over doing some mundane task like loading up the grocery cart. It’s a simple reaction, not any indication of my level of interest.
Go forth and greet her with warmth, kindness and sincerity next time, DH. Or better yet, make a face back at the little guy to get him giggling. Just be prepared to jump out of the way if a little man decides to send a foot flying your way!
Comment by Eathan
| June 25th, 2009
haha… I have to laugh at all the comments. I hate to say, but you can tell if someone seems grounded. 90% of communication is the unspoken kind, body language. With that being said.. the reason why the kid was looking at you funny was probably that bulge you had in your pants. I’m sure you didn’t realize it while he was giving you the stink eye..but you were checking her out and the more you thought about her.. you got a bit excited.
I’ll admit that you do a great job of meeting women while you’re out. My 2 boys have become ruthless. Especially my 14 yr old. He says I have lost my ‘game’.
Eathan´s last blog ..Lessons Learned, Jon & Kate
Comment by Paula
| June 25th, 2009
Okay, I will accept Earthy w/ a non-materialistic look.
Eathan…bulge in pants, LOL. You may be on to something.
Comment by me
| June 25th, 2009
I don’t mean just this post …I mean in general
But yes, it’s the way men think, unfortunately, that’s why I read it anyway …but seriously sometimes I think you are just delusional. I guess it protects the self esteem to think she was playing hard to get..You sure have an imagination But I guess it gives you something to write about
No offense I think you do represent the majority of men…just listen to us…WE DO KNOW
Comment by Shelle-BlokThoughts
| June 25th, 2009
Your flirting energy must have been coming off you pretty strong!!! lol!
sorry no number… bummer.
Comment by Laura
| June 25th, 2009
Ok when I take my son shopping – my focus is on getting the clothes and getting the hell out of the shop! So I rarely notice men when clothes shopping with my kids!
After my sons last little moment with a man I suspect he may react the same way!
Comment by Ditz
| June 25th, 2009
I would have suggested engaging the little guy first (to be safe, your daughter would have to be involved in this) and then mom would have come along. If his mom is that hot, I bet he has dealt with this before, and his bad guy radar went off.
Comment by CJ
| June 25th, 2009
Cocky, delusional, creepy guy with a bulge in your pants….oh my the mental picture I’m seeing right now!!! ROFLMAO
Ok, now that I’m back in control (sort of). I guess I can see how you could be taken as cocky, however, unless we’re all gonna write a novel everytime we post, that’s just a risk we all have to live with. Everybody sees with different eyes depending on their past. Personally, I wouldn’t mind getting “checked out”. Boost to the old ego and all that…just don’t follow me home!
Comment by Lance
| June 25th, 2009
My guess is she has a long term BF, maybe even her son’s father, which would easily prevent her from picking up your vibe or naturally causing her to shield you out. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Neither is the reaction from the kid, although I’d check your body language on that one. Likely you were staring too long or too hard and came off as sketchy. Kids are super sharp when it comes to body language.
If your BL is dialed in and you hadn’t sketched out the kid, I would say open her regardless of lack of signals and at see where it goes. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Lance´s last blog ..Get Fit and Improve Your Dating Prospects
Comment by T
| June 25th, 2009
Wow. How funny that everyone is giving you a hard time!
I’m with the commenters though. I rarely notice anything other than my kids when I’m with my kids.
Mommy mode is A LOT different that T mode.
T´s last blog ..Depression
Comment by dadshouse
| June 25th, 2009
me – you wrote “sometimes I think you are just delusional. I guess it protects the self esteem to think she was playing hard to get..”
I get what you’re saying. First, like CJ said, I can’t write a novel with every post and try to explain every single reason the woman might have ignored me. Second, yes it’s my ego protecting my self esteem. That’s what egos do! Third, know that you are projecting your own perspective onto the reading of the post. Others can read this and not think I’m cocky at all. (Here’s a nice post by The Exception about perspective, that coincidentally went up today: http://miamilf.blogspot.com/2009/06/blind-men-and-elephant.html )
I assume you would have preferred I wrote “maybe she was busy with a million things going on” instead of “maybe she’s playing hard to get.” I wonder how my approach game would change if I thought like that.
Dad’s House posts should always be taken with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila. Riled up readers and differing opinions make things more fun.
Comment by Sandy
| June 25th, 2009
Wow, you pushed some buttons here! I don’t know why in most cases. You’re entitled to your first impressions…..you saw a lady you thought looked interesting but you didn’t act like an ass and say something stupid. Too bad you didn’t try to speak to her but I think you’ve got a point that her kid probably say you coming. If mom was as attractive as you said, he’s probably seen it before! Kids are pretty intuitive even at that age.
Comment by Sandy
| June 25th, 2009
me, again, and I give you credit for trying to scope out a wedding ring. I assume that means had you seen one, you would have backed off.
Comment by Extreme John
| June 25th, 2009
I can’t even imagine a five year old having that type of thought process it blows me away.
Regardless still no excuse for not getting the digits.
Extreme John´s last blog ..Picture Tweets
Comment by Sandra
| June 25th, 2009
Sorry you didn’t get her number. It is possible she was married or not into you, but I don’t think you’re considering the other possibilities:
Perhaps she was in a rush or didn’t even notice you. It is quite possible, even if you were only a few feet away.
You still did not ask her out. You had nothing to lose by asking her out. If she had said no, you would’ve gotten over it, but at least you would’ve known for sure. Had you even taken the time to ask her a few questions who knows what could’ve happened.
The 5 year old boy probably is jealous because he wants all of his mommy’s attention. I think that was probably what was going on.
Next time you run into a hottie like that, at least ask questions. I’ve had guys I’ve went to college with or worked with come up to me a couple of years later and say they wanted to ask me out, but never did. But I didn’t know that because they never even made the first move, and I thought they weren’t into me.
Maybe this woman was a little shy and didn’t know. Maybe she didn’t know if you are married or not and decided to play it safe by ignoring you.
Please, be more of a hunter next time.
Comment by Janet
| June 25th, 2009
Oh my goodness…sometimes the comments on your blog are more entertaining than the post itself! (I mean this as a compliment to your readers and not a knock on your blogging skills). :)
I thought this was a cute post. Cracking up that it got people so riled!
Comment by notasoccermom
| June 26th, 2009
my thoughts are, that either his mother is just newly divorced or separated from his dad and he is scared of other men who will take his dads place… whether you are looking or not he may not like ANY men.
or…
maybe she is in a relationship… ring or no ring is not a 100% sign of looking. which may explain her coldness.?
Comment by Haley
| June 28th, 2009
awww… as I was reading your post, I was rooting for you to have gotten her number and spill the juicy details! Well, next time!
Haley´s last blog ..Roses