Ex Girlfriend Inspiration on Facebook
I stumbled upon two ex girlfriends on Facebook recently. No, we didn’t Facebook poke each other, write on each other’s walls, or send messages. I don’t even think they saw my profile.
Both ex girlfriends simply inspired me, in different ways.
One ex was someone I had sought out on Facebook, hoping to reconnect. We always got along great as a couple, but she wants to have children and I’m all done having kids. Still, I figured if she was single right now, we could have some summer fun together. (Yes, that includes sex with an ex. Shameless, I know! But hot summer nights were made for lovers.)
When I found her Facebook profile though, I saw pictures of her having fun with her girl friends. Hiking, wine tasting, goofing at Fisherman’s Wharf. She looked really happy. And I was suddenly very happy for her. She’d gotten on with her life, just as I’ve gotten on with mine. It wouldn’t be right to revisit our relationship when I know there’s no long term future.
The second ex girlfriend was someone I had been really serious about back when we were dating. Years ago when we were a couple, I figured we’d get married someday. But it wasn’t in the cards, and we went our separate ways.
Someone we both knew recently asked if I wanted to be friends on Facebook, and voila – I stumbled upon the Facebook profile of my ex girlfriend.
She’s now married with a kid.
I found this incredibly inspiring. It reminded me that there’s an entirely new and different life waiting down the road, if I just let it. That may sound trite or obvious, but it was the kick in the butt I needed. Rather than waiting to see what life might bring me, I can instead open the way for things I want to bring into my life, and spur their manifestation.
On that note, tomorrow’s post will be about my weekend’s metaphysical fun…
- How is Facebook Used by Single Parents?
- Do Divorced Dads Need to Have More Kids to Find Love?
- Getting Grounded Again
- Chemistry.com Profile – Maybe More Kids?
- Single Mom Dating a Single Dad – A Month Between Dates?
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Comment by Just Me...
| July 20th, 2009
Sometimes, it’s fun to run into old beaus.. You get see how they turned out.. See where they went with their lives (high school/college ones especially).. You can play the game where you insert yourself into their current reality and then you really see exactly why it is that you two didn’t work out in the first place!!
Just Me…´s last blog ..I hate him.
Comment by debra
| July 20th, 2009
Not trite or obvious at all….it’s a wonderful perspective. We really don’t know where our lives are headed, and it is nice to be reminded that things will evolve, and change, and that things we haven’t thought of, or imagined, can find their way to us. Nice post DH, I enjoyed the optimism.
Comment by MindyMom
| July 20th, 2009
Yeah, what’s that saying – about how when you’re looking back at your past you can’t see what’s in front of you? It’s nice to relect every once in a while but we all have to keep looking ahead or we might miss an opportunity. I’m with you; opening the way for what’s to come into my life.
I do love facebook for reconnecting though. ;)
Comment by krn
| July 20th, 2009
Such gentle reading here. Lately it seems like maybe you have been in the mood to do a little life review about your choices. That’s a very healthy middle aged activity, Dad’s. Like Debra, I enjoyed the optimism and subtlety in this post and didn’t find it at all trite. Very thoughtful of you to not try to reintroduce yourself into your ex’s life after viewing her photos. Summer sex isn’t worth creating drama where there is contentment and peace. Even extra steamy summer sex! (Did I really just write that?) ;)
Comment by Kat Wilder
| July 20th, 2009
Rather than waiting to see what life might bring me, I can instead open the way for things I want to bring into my life, and spur their manifestation.
Really, that’s all we can do, right?
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Mommy doesn’t live here anymore
Comment by Mark
| July 20th, 2009
You have had a very good realization. Yes, remain open to what may come for that in the end is what will be despite your efforts to sometimes apply force to what you believe you want.
Mark´s last blog ..Intuitive Decisions
Comment by OMG chronicles
| July 20th, 2009
Life is always “happening,” but if we expect too much from it (without making smart choices along the way), hey, we deserve what we get.
I’ve been inspired that 73% of young people polled by MTV feel happy even though they know they’re going to struggle more than their parents did: They are digging on their relationships with their family and friends! Maybe we parents have done something right after all.
OMG chronicles´s last blog ..Are you happy now?
Comment by Erica
| July 20th, 2009
It’s great that you held back in connecting again. It would be hard for me to see an old flame just to hook up.
Erica´s last blog ..Mama Moron
Comment by Me Thinks
| July 20th, 2009
Do you really think its a “different life” down the road? I’m interested in this perspective since its so different from mine. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t picture her in that role.
You sound, well, sound! Smart decisions to stay away.
Evan Mark Katz had a really intersting blog about FB last week. It’s so voyeuristic and you get a picture of what people are doing, just not necessarily an accurate one.
Comment by vinomom
| July 20th, 2009
It’s a good thing to be optomistic DH, but I think sometimes if we try TOO hard to make things happen instead of just letting life flow it can back fire on us. I suppose theres a just right inbetween area.
vinomom´s last blog ..A Series of Unfortunate Events
Comment by CJ
| July 20th, 2009
I think perhaps krn is on to something about you reviewing your life. I hope you find what it is you’re looking for and wish you luck (and fun) in the process.
CJ´s last blog ..Healing sucks.
Comment by Laura
| July 20th, 2009
Great post DH!!!
You are very right – if you just let it the world really has endless possibilities for you!
Laura´s last blog ..The Bachelorette
Comment by Honey
| July 20th, 2009
Facebook is a strange place…most of what I discover about my exes makes me very glad that I didn’t stay with them!
Honey´s last blog ..Obama and Sarkozy Staring At Hot Chick’s Ass
Comment by T
| July 20th, 2009
Very beautiful and inspiring post! Oh the possibilities!
T´s last blog ..T’s Toybox
Comment by Junction Mama
| July 20th, 2009
Totally!
Life is all about opening doors and not being afraid to go through them. :)
Junction Mama´s last blog ..New and improved Junction Mama
Comment by Barry
| July 20th, 2009
These trips back can bring back a flood of memories and also open your eyes a bit. I also think we often tend to reflect on the fun times and often forget the not so good stuff that caused the relationship to falter. You are exactly where you are suppose to be.
Barry´s last blog ..Do Men Have Strong Emotional Support in Their Lives?
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| July 20th, 2009
Amen to that, brother!
Cathouse Teri´s last blog ..Hauling Ash
Comment by MommaSunshine
| July 20th, 2009
Here’s to the future and the possibilities that it holds!
MommaSunshine´s last blog ..The Goodbye Hour
Comment by dadshouse
| July 20th, 2009
Vinomom – great point. I agree, you shouldn’t try too hard to make things happen. In fact, that’s why I very carefully chose the phrase “open the way for things I want”. No one can control exactly what will manifest in their life. But we can choose what to put out into the world, and clear the way for positive things to boomerang back.
Me Thinks – yes, I think life is different down the road. For instance, I’ll be an empty nester in 5 years. Very different from raising kids! And the ex girlfriend who is now married with a kid has a very different life than her single days.
OMG – nice stat. Just to be cheeky for a moment – any kid who has the time to sit around and watch MTV all day, and participate in their polls (I imagine by texting a response) is probably pretty darn happy, indeed! Haha.
Comment by The Exception
| July 20th, 2009
This is a hopeful post – one that inspires in its own way.
Sometimes we spend so much time focused upon the doors that are closed that we neglect to see the doors that open.
The Exception´s last blog ..Man Plans…
Comment by Queen Lindsay
| July 20th, 2009
This post made me think, so deep I can’t formulate the words to describe it.
Queen Lindsay´s last blog ..Online Dating? Do you do it? Are you against it? You’ve Got Mail!
Comment by Sandy
| July 21st, 2009
I’ve had a blast with FB reconnecting with old friends, ex-family even….and sometimes it’s just nice to see how well others lives have gone. Nice post.
Sandy´s last blog ..Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?
Comment by Lance
| July 21st, 2009
Good post. I recently found an ex-gf on myspace that moved in with her bf and is now engaged. It made me feel weird at first, like jealous, but after I worked through that I realized I was really happy she was doing well. Also, she looked GREAT in her recent pics, and that stung a little. Oh well!
Lance´s last blog ..Vacation!
Comment by QTMama
| July 22nd, 2009
What a bright outlook you have on things, DH. It really is inspiring. :)
QTMama´s last blog ..Once Upon A Time