Where do Jon and Kate Gosselin Live? In Denial
We all know (from supermarket tabloids, if nowhere else) that Jon and Kate Gosselin have separated. Despite this fact, they have chosen to continue taping their reality TV show for a new season of Jon and Kate Plus 8.
Their marital separation begs the question: where do Jon and Kate Gosselin live? After all, they aren’t both in the house at once. Are they in Berks County, Pennsylvania? Manhattan? St. Tropez?
After watching the first episodes of the new season, I feel there’s another answer to the question, where do Jon and Kate Gosselin live – they’re living in denial. Yeah, that’s harsh. Ater all, it’s a normal enough reaction to divorce.
But it saddens me they’ve chosen to continue their show.
As a divorced dad, I’ve been through the pain of separation and divorce. Ending my marriage was the hardest thing I’ve even gone through, especially since there were children involved. As much as my wife and I couldn’t get along, we wanted to do what’s best for the kids.
Jon and Kate said similar things in their new show, that they want to do what’s best for their kids. For instance, they are remodeling their kitchen (the kids will live in the house, and Jon and Kate will rotate in and out for custody purposes.) Jon and Kate both said the house is for the kids. Which means the remodeled kitchen is for the kids, too.
To which I say – Huh?!
Do you think any child of divorce cares about new kitchen cabinets, or an under-the-counter fridge? Or do you think their primary want is for their parents to get along, and the family to be made whole again? (Where do Jon and Kate live? In emotional turmoil.)
The new shows really saddened me. There was Kate trying to set up a tent in the backyard (major props to her! Who cares if it’s on the lawn of their house.)
But there too were the kids, telling Kate she didn’t know what she was doing, that Jon was the tent expert, that Kate was out of her league.
That made me really sad. I felt like the kids were dishing on Kate the same way Kate dished on Jon in previous shows. My initial thought was that the kids are brats. But is that fair to them? Any child might make a snide remark about a parent (hopefully, not too often.) The TLC producers are the ones who selected that clip.
The audience is not getting an unfiltered look at the emotional turmoil of divorce. It’s getting a polished version selected by the show’s producers to elicit a reaction. In the show, Jon and Kate are just skimming the surface; they aren’t dealing with emotional depth or even loneliness. (Where do Jon and Kate Gosselin live? You tell me.)
Having been through a divorce, I know it takes time to heal emotionally and psychologically. Jon and Kate have barely begun that process. Does all of America need to be watching them sort through their raw emotional crap? Does it help Jon and Kate? Their kids? The audience?
CNN recently interviewed me to get my perspective on the new Jon and Kate reality show. It was early in the morning when Lisa Respers France called, and without the aid of morning coffee I gave this money quote:
Traditionally, the media portrays single dads as basically bumbling oafs who don’t know what they are doing.
What I wish I had said:
Traditionally, society thinks men are basically bumbling oafs when it comes to running a household or raising children.
In a perfect reality TV world, the audience would glean insights from watching Jon and Kate nurture their kids solo, and process their own emotional junk. But with the new show, the audience isn’t seeing that. It’s seeing the circus of one parent trying to take eight kids to the beach. It’s seeing the inanity of a couple remodeling a kitchen together while they are going through a divorce.
The new Jon and Kate TV show isn’t teaching me anything, or rendering new insights. It’s simply a sad, sad look at a family that was already a train wreck in progress.
I hope for the sake of the eight kids, and for all of America, TLC takes Jon and Kate Plus 8 off the air.
Where do Jon and Kate Gosselin live? In the blogs. In the tabloids. On reality TV.
But also, it appears, in denial.
- Jon and Kate Gosselin Dating Craziness
- Coparenting – How To Deal With an Ex
- Jon and Kate Divorce – What the Future May Hold
- Birthday Traditions for Children of Divorce
- Single Dads are Pathetic Womanizers and Partiers? WTF!
- Great Books for Relationship and Divorce Advice
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Comment by Paula
| August 5th, 2009
A real shame for these kids, I expect to see them in the media for years to come. When I look at them I cannot help but wonder: Which will do Playboy? Which will OD? Which will make it through okay? Sad, but likely the real truth. These kids are pawns.
Paula´s last blog ..The neighbor thinks MY yard is an eyesore? Huh?
Comment by Danielle
| August 5th, 2009
I have never watched an episode nor will I because I too think it is so sad. I do wonder if they are keeping the show going because of the money. Being solo with 8 kiddo and maintaining 2 households must present a huge financial worry. If they have to air their divorce out of financial need, I am even more saddened.
Danielle´s last blog ..Is there room in the coffin for me?
Comment by Frank Azzurro
| August 5th, 2009
props to you for coming from a realistic perspective on divorce instead of reveling in another couple’s misfortune. I like how you break out the reality and lack of reality in these situations and aren’t afraid to call TLC out for what they’re doing: selling a product for ratings.
Sadly, Kate pitching a tent is the most parenting she’ll ever do again, if what we hear about her is true.
Comment by Just Me..
| August 5th, 2009
These people are not unique.. They’re just on TV..
They had more kids than they could handle or afford, looked for a way to support them all, screwed up what little family they had and now are still trying to ride the gravy train that made them famous.. And the kids will grow up about as well-adjusted as the parents.. As it is in most families..
Oh, and props to you on the CNN thing!! :)
Just Me..´s last blog ..Late TMI…
Comment by MindyMom
| August 5th, 2009
I second what “Just Me” wrote. I also have never watched nor will I; I have enough post-divorce and co-parenting crap of my own to deal with.
It is very sad and you are right that they are living in denial. It will all catch up with them soon enough.
MindyMom´s last blog ..Single Moms or Punching Bags?
Comment by Kat Wilder
| August 5th, 2009
For goodness sake … it’s reality TV, which has no basis in reality at all (but, what do I know; I’ve never watched)., and they are now “celebrities,” which also has no basis in our reality.
But, Dads, I do agree with you that fathers, single or not, are often seen as bumbling fools. Pity, because more men are stay-at-home dads than ever, and kudos to them and SAHD wannabes.
But, then again, single moms are seen as raising strippers, criminals and druggies.
Gee, a bumbling oaf sounds so much better ….
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Teen sex, coming soon to a bedroom near you
Comment by katherine.
| August 5th, 2009
I’d be willing to bet the real reason behind continuing the show is financial. (and maybe contractual)
katherine.´s last blog ..I stand corrected….FaceBook is my Friend
Comment by Honey
| August 5th, 2009
Well, if they change the name of the show to “Why Fertility Treatments Should Be Illegal,” then I’ll start watching. Until then, it’s far too painfully obvious that they brought every second of this on themselves. On purpose, because the big thing this whole individualistic movement has done is convince everyone they’re the exception to the rule. Which, statistically, is almost NEVER the case…
Honey´s last blog ..I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend
Comment by Ditz
| August 5th, 2009
I watched the latest episode (this week’s renovations and vacations) and they both seemed so much more relaxed. They were together for the kitchen planning, and the stress seen in previous shows was just gone. Maybe they can be better friends while not married to each other. Its hard to tell what is just good editing, but its not the train wreck it was at the end of last season.
Comment by Shelle-BlokThoughts
| August 5th, 2009
Congrats on your 2 seconds of fame! :)
I can’t watch it anymore… it’s pathetic and you’re right… sad.
So were you a JAZZ BAND member or a Valedictorian??? That quiz over at HotDads is killin me!!!
Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog ..Anyone else have a dream about me?
Comment by Barry
| August 5th, 2009
I have zero interest in this show. I can only hope enough people decide to not watch and have these parents crawl back into a hole.
Best quote I read today :
JON Gosselin has many female admirers, but Joan Rivers isn’t one of them. “I’m disgusted by him. Here’s a guy with eight kids who runs off to ‘find himself’ — well, he should have found himself a condom,”
Barry´s last blog ..Parents – Why Counting to 3 Is Making Your Kid A Bully!
Comment by dadshouse
| August 5th, 2009
Barry – that Joan Rivers quote is hilarious!
Danielle and Katherine – I bet you’re right. Divorce is expensive. Maintaining multiple homes is expensive. Raising eight kids is expensive. They’ll make more money from this show than doing anything else.
Shelle – where do Jon and Kate Gosselin live? I gave multiple answers to that question in this post. Does that help you figure out the Hot Dads quiz?
Comment by Sandra
| August 5th, 2009
Hey,
Congratulations on the CNN interview, that’s great !
Other than that I am so tired of hearing about them, I am just shocked people still watch them or are interested in them. They are not role models of mine, that’s for sure.
I hope all this interest in single parenting leads you to a book deal.
Sandra´s last blog ..Married Man Attempts Wittiness to Get Into Your Pants
Comment by Mark
| August 5th, 2009
It is true they live in denial fueled by greed and ego. No value in watching this show. I feel for the whole family.
Mark´s last blog ..The Beauty of Your Own Backyard
Comment by Kristy
| August 5th, 2009
You are a hypocrite now too? tsk tsk…. Your blog is turning into a “polished version selected by you the show’s producer to elicit a reaction”
Your highlighting another families misgivings and pain for your own blog growth and benefit. Oh…and you speak about your children on your “single dad” blog publically.
tsk tsk put the rocks down …you’re surrounded by glass.
Kristy´s last blog ..first “crude” post in a long time – avert virgin eyes
Comment by dadshouse
| August 5th, 2009
Kristy – you’re funny. I don’t understand why you read my blog. You are married. You complain about everything I write. If my writing rubs you the wrong way, feel free to go elsewhere for your reading pleasure.
Jon and Kate’s last show was very sad, showing family interactions that made me wince. I don’t blog about crap like that in my life. I try to tell funny stories and offer my opinion, often relating what has worked for me, as well as what has not. Their show and my blog are very different.
How is my writing hypocritical? I’m not living in denial. I strive to be self aware. If Jon and Kate need a TV show to maintain their current lifestyle, then that’s their choice. But the show they are doing doesn’t seem like it’s doing anyone any good, not them or their viewers. Maybe that’s your problem – you have said you feel my blog isn’t good for people. Others see things differently. Dad’s House has been ranked as one of the top “must reads” by Yahoo and other sites.
Jon and Kate Gosselin’s show is highlighting their own pain and suffering. I suggested it be taken off the air. If you’d rather get your take on Jon and Kate from the supermarket checkout, by all means, I’m not stopping you. If you don’t like what I blog about, you don’t have to read what I write. Is there a rule for bloggers that they must only write autobiographically? I didn’t get that memo. If it bothers you that CNN interviewed me for my opinion, you don’t have to read CNN either.
Comment by Sandra
| August 5th, 2009
I often find myself returning to the comments, because wow, you’ve got quite an array of opinions.
You really don’t have to defend yourself to anyone on your own blog especially since most of your readers compliment you.
I think that it’s a good sign if you have a staunch naysayer sprinkled in the mix. It means that you’re attracting a lot of people, a little controversy and mixing things up a little.
Sandra´s last blog ..A Bellydancer’s Post
Comment by Abby Carter
| August 5th, 2009
Jon and Kate chose to exploit their lives, presumably for money and they have achieved that in spades it seems. But the pressure of having cameras on you all day, would be hard on any marriage, not to mention one already strained by having eight kids to raise. So yeah, denial makes sense. From what I could tell, they were in denial from the very beginning.
That said, I am sure that they are like anyone, just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Until we walk in their shoes, who’s to say whether taking turns in the house is a bad thing or not. I do agree with you though, I think they should discontinue the show. But I am sure that right now, the show and the constant parade of people is somewhat comforting. That in itself will be a kind of loss for all of them. One loss at a time.
And by simply being as public as they are, they are inviting all sorts of commentary, both good and bad. But then, that has been a big part of their denial all along.
Abby Carter´s last blog ..Sobs and Doggie Psychics
Comment by Cathy
| August 5th, 2009
This is a great post David. I only wish more people were making their opinions known.
We live in a society that accepts divorce as the norm. Most who do that have never experienced divorce and the pain that comes with it. TLC had a chance to take this show and use it as an instrument to teach others about the realities of divorce.
They have chosen to make it about anything but reality. Too bad it isn’t more of a topic of discussion.
Congratulations on your CNN interview!
Cathy´s last blog ..Finding ‘The One’ – Should We Be More Practical?
Comment by Paula
| August 5th, 2009
Relax Dave, I don’t always agree, but I still enjoy your blog. And I am married, but the topic is still of interest (have single sister, kids, etc.). Maybe Kristi just needs a man to hate? LOL, just kidding.
Paula´s last blog ..Harvest
Comment by Sara
| August 6th, 2009
I’m new here, but I have to say that the comments and the posts are equally compelling. I appreciate the “Dad” perspective, since it’s one that is not always represented fairly.
As for Jon & Kate — whatever. They’re celebrities now. Let’s just shake our heads in disbelief and not try to understand, we’ll be better for it.
Sara´s last blog ..5 Ways To Say You Like Him (Without Saying It)
Comment by cordieb
| August 6th, 2009
I’ve never seen the show, but I’ve seen info on talk shows, morning shows, etc. I agree, this isn’t the reality after a divorce. People who divorce need time alone to process the change and live with it. The children need to process it too, although it’s always sad for the children, no matter how its done. No matter how it’s done, clearly these two are living in pure denial or it’s just showbiz folks!
Peace, Light and Love to you and yours. . . C.
cordieb´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday
Comment by Keith Wilcox
| August 6th, 2009
I’ve only seen the show once, and what I saw of it was not appealing. I got the same impression as you mention here, that they say nice things in front of the camera, but their actions show differently. What you mention about the kitchen remodel I think most people wouldn’t think about on first pass, but you’re right. Kids don’t care about a remodeled house. They care that they have a whole family. I also find it rather odd, in general, how the media portrays stay at home dads, dads, and single dads. It’s a guilty until proven innocent sort of deal for us. People assume we’re hapless, and when we do something good people treat it like it’s some sort of miracle. Yup, you’ve hit the nail on the head here. Thanks.
Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..Youth is Wasted on the Young
Comment by April
| August 11th, 2009
Okay, you got me. I’m going to have to do a damned post on Jon & Kate.
April´s last blog ..My Education Wish List (partial)