Texting for Term Paper Help
My teen daughter goes to college in a year, but first she has to apply. And that means writing an application essay or three. (Yeah, I know the title of this blog post says term paper, not application essay. Sue me, I like alliteration!)(btw, I was kidding about the sue me part.)
The other day she texted me for help. What do you think of this topic? She spelled out her idea in text message form.
I liked the idea, and texted back some questions to help her approach the topic with more depth. She texted me a new twist on her first idea.
I was about to text my reaction, when I got tired of thumbing keys on my Motorola Razor. Plus, this essay might make the difference between whether she gets into the school or her dreams or not. We needed to talk.
“Hi,” she said when she answered the phone.
“Hey, what about your essay topic is making you see the world with new eyes…” Blah, blah, blah. I started talking her ear off, trying to explain around a point I might have implied in txt msg form. Of course, it’s her essay. And I wasn’t telling her what to write. Hence the talking around the point, trying to get her to scratch beneath the surface a bit more.
She responded with silence.
Clearly she didn’t want to actually “talk” about her essay idea. Hell, she probably thought I was criticizing her, rather than engaging her, stretching her, encouraging her to take a deeper look. And who can blame her?
Writing is tough work. What comes out on the paper isn’t always what you had planned from the start. As Hemingway said, “the first draft is shit.” And that’s after something is written. Here I was debating my daughter’s ideas before she’d even gotten something down on paper!
“You should figure it out your own way,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said.
At least when an admissions officer reads and loves her essay, they can be sure the whole thing – from text message concept to shitty first draft to polished final product – all of it will have been my daughter’s work.
You can text me on that.
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Comment by BigLittleWolf
| August 24th, 2009
I can certainly relate to the frustration, stress, and pride around this issue. An assortment of critical written texts in Junior and Senior year, and of course the all important college essays, can bring out the best – and worst – in parents and their kids.
It’s hard to sit back and let them fight through it, and even harder (I think) when they want the tiniest reaction from you – but nothing more. That’s also a source of pride, because they aren’t looking for someone else to represent them or write for them – they want an inkling of response, a bit of dialogue, from a person they respect. And then they want to “own” their results – good or bad.
I had access to that inkling and thought process, and then of course left my son to do what he thought best – and he asked me to read it over before sending – which I appreciated (he knew I’d catch typos).
It’s hard to stay out of something so important (many parents don’t), but I have more respect for my son because of the boundaries he insisted on – rightfully. You should be proud of your daughter. It shows, that you are.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Action Babe and the Elusive Villain
Comment by MindyMom/Single Mom Says...
| August 24th, 2009
I can just imagine how your daughter’s eyes must’ve been rolling as you went on and on. And I have been there too with my own kids.
I just love it when one of my daughters asks for my advice on something and then starts arguing with it.
But hey, at least they ask, right?
MindyMom/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..How Texting can be Good for Your Relationship (and Your Sex-Life)
Comment by ZenMom
| August 24th, 2009
Good insight, Dad. :)
ZenMom´s last blog ..Too Darn Hot
Comment by Laura
| August 24th, 2009
Gosh this is a big deal for her hey! We dont have to do essays here but just the application form process is a big deal!
Comment by Honey
| August 24th, 2009
I have 10 years’ experience helping undergraduate and graduate students with their writing…it is an interesting and difficult balance between engagement and (perceived) criticism.
Honey´s last blog ..TGIF In Honey-Land
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| August 24th, 2009
It’s got to be especially tough on the ones (kids) with ‘rents who live by words… Like you, Daddio, and a few others I know. We hope they pick up what’s part of their environment, but we also know they DON’T appreciate too much of our input.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..What’s in a word?
Comment by Sandra
| August 24th, 2009
Wait, you’re still using a RAZOR ? LOL……..
Good luck to her, those essays are rough…
I guess this is something she needs to do on her own, and it will come to her.
Sandra´s last blog ..Sunny Sunday
Comment by Danielle
| August 24th, 2009
I am sure that I am really going to watch myself when it comes to my daughter. I am the type that just “wants to do it” and I will have to remind myself to back off let let her.
Good lesson and good going Dad.
Danielle´s last blog ..Keeping Busy to Avoid Life
Comment by Barry
| August 24th, 2009
It is quite possible she just wanted to get a yeah or nay. She will probably ask you to read it when it is done. I have 2 in college now and one is a senior in high school.
Of course, some could go back to the old, men are problem solvers and want to fix right away. Girls don’t always work that way, (Venus & Mars stuff I guess). My daughter was different than my son. Daughters, bounce stuff off me, son, I shoot the sh-t and talk about it.
Be happy she even asked. Shows she respects your opinion……even if she didn’t want it :)
Barry´s last blog ..Are You a “Positive” Coach?
Comment by notasoccermom
| August 24th, 2009
That is great that you are so supportive.
It can be hard trying not to help too much…
good luck to her we are doing the same
notasoccermom´s last blog ..An oil change and a summer walk
Comment by Julie
| August 24th, 2009
WOW! My oldest is only in 3rd grade and after reading this I am praying for her to be an underachiever. I hated the application crap. I don’t wanna have to go through it again (even if it is 9 years away).
Julie´s last blog ..Why Would I Make This Up?
Comment by The Exception
| August 31st, 2009
Sometimes it is hard to remember to pull back and let them do it themselves – and yet the end result is worth it!! (whether they get into that school or not)
The Exception´s last blog ..Mountain Vacation