Why Does Life Have To Be Planned?
Imagine you’re divorced with 50-50 custody during the week. For custody on holidays and long weekends, the kids go with one parent or the other. So if your ex got the kids for Memorial Day weekend this year, you get the kids for Labor Day weekend. It might not be a perfect approach, but it works.
Only problem – if you don’t make plans on your three-day weekend with the kids, your ex asks if she can have the kids instead. She has plans, after all – with extended family, no less. Who are you to deny your kids time they could spend with her cousins?
To which I ask: why does life have to be planned?
Kids these days lead incredibly busy lives. Between schools, sports, band, and living in two homes, my kids have a ton going on. They need their down time.
But don’t take my word for it. Look at how a lot of people spend their leisure time. Some pay big money to head to relaxing places like Hawaii where they can lay on the beach without a plan.
When you have no plan, life slows down and you can enjoy each moment for what it is.
And so this past Labor Day weekend, we didn’t rush out of town to visit my folks. We didn’t run from soccer game to soccer game. We didn’t make plans with multiple families for barbecues (we did try to get together, but all the friends we usually cook with were out of town)
We entered the three-day weekend not knowing how we’d spend it.
It was great!
Friday night, my daughter went to a movie with her friends. My son and I watched Italian Serie-A soccer on Tivo.
Saturday, my son spent the day hanging out with a friend, then did a sleepover that night. My daughter worked on her college application essay, then played nerf gun wars with a group of high schoolers.
Sunday, the kids and I did a 10-mile hike through a redwood forest, then barbecued chicken shish-kabob skewers that night.
Monday, my daughter did club projects with girl friends of hers, and my son enjoyed a day of hanging out with buddies. (Sweet kid that he is, he also dropped by his mom’s house for a while just to visit.) Then Monday night we had a big meal, just the kids and me.
No plans. Great weekend. I wouldn’t change a thing.
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Comment by Danielle
| September 8th, 2009
I agree, sometimes the best weekends aree the ones that you can do what ever you want whenever you want. Sound like a very nice weekend.
Danielle´s last blog ..Take it at Facebook value
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| September 8th, 2009
I am a fan of the no plan plan.
Comment by debra
| September 8th, 2009
After 4 days with 4 adults and 4 kids at Disney…I’m ready for a no plans holiday weekend!
It’s true, with as overscheduled as we are with just what has to be done as single parents, an unplanned weekend is often the best vacation.
Comment by krn
| September 8th, 2009
Sounds great, Dad’s. We had a no plan weekend that worked out really well, too.
Redwoods? Hmmm, don’t know where you were, but it couldn’t have been too far from us! We would have met you for that hike. :)
Comment by T
| September 8th, 2009
We too had an unplanned weekend and, except for the occasional “I’m bored” from my children, we had a blast.
I’m with you. Sometimes its just good to play it by ear.
T´s last blog ..Honesty? Honestly?!
Comment by MindyMom/Single Mom Says...
| September 8th, 2009
I prefer the no plan plan too. That’s just how I roll. Sometimes the kids complain but then I remind them my job is not to be their cruise director but their mother. It usually all works out fine for everyone.
MindyMom/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Random Recap
Comment by Honey
| September 8th, 2009
We had a sort-of plan…hanging at a friend’s house for the weekend (she has a pool). Worked out great!
Honey´s last blog ..Love Style “Gifts”: How I Became A Kept Woman
Comment by April
| September 8th, 2009
Our plans WERE to stay home all weekend! Totally with you ont his one.
April´s last blog ..Weekend Wrap-Up (latest obsessions edition)
Comment by Laura
| September 8th, 2009
If my life isnt planned there would be chaos! I haev too much going on for there not to be some sort of order!
Our plans are never set in stone and I am flexible but there are plans made!
Comment by Ditz
| September 8th, 2009
We had a similar ‘no plans’ weekend, but we did lots of things without deadlines or travel. Very relaxing and we aren’t wiped out today. Glad you enjoyed yours!
Comment by ZenMom
| September 8th, 2009
Sounds perfectly lovely. :)
ZenMom´s last blog ..The family that dyes together
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| September 8th, 2009
It does sound lovely, David. And high-schoolers, especially, are under so much pressure. I think taking their lead in how they want to spend “unscheduled” time is really a gift for them. Like T, the only little glitch is when no buddies are around, and the “I’m bored” refrain gets into gear.
That’s when I find that feeding them – a LOT – comes in handy.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Bashing the banking biz?
Comment by staciesmadness
| September 9th, 2009
it sounds like a perfect weekend.
Comment by notasoccermom
| September 9th, 2009
We are always running off. Making plans as we go. Isnt it refreshing to do without plans?
notasoccermom´s last blog ..A wonderful Post by a fellow blogger
Comment by Cheery-Wise
| September 10th, 2009
Sometimes the best laid plan is to have no plan. Makes for a relaxing weekend.
She’s working on her college aps already?! Good girl! Any advice from dad on that?