Comments on: Texting Goodbye to a Lover

By: notasoccermom

notasoccermom — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:06:34 +0000

‘For the time being’ doesn’t exactly sound like she is sure of that relationship yet. It is a new relationship but she feels more of a spark with him.
But maybe she is not sure where the two of you really stand. you dont mention if the two of you have discussed just how much chemistry you both feel beyond the bedroom.
Maybe she feels a bit of a spark with you just not as much as with this guy…..
notasoccermom´s last blog ..Baby John

By: kmn

kmn — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:29:40 +0000

I was assuming she was a friend “with benefits.” Those are the circumstances I’ve seen most often. A good male friend, neither are in a relationship, filling that temporary intimacy need. Each may meet someone and then it becomes only friendship, but when both are single, the FWB works for them. In that situation, yes it is safer sex. You know the person and there is more trust. The other situation that I think you are talking about is more of a f**ck buddy” not a friend. Of course I live in the midwest so what do I know?

I still think she didn’t mean it the way you took it.

By: Kat Wilder

Kat Wilder — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:33:39 +0000

Solo-Dad — Right on! To show you my appreciation, may I hop into your bed ….
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Women don’t bite, unless you want them to

By: Solo-Dad

Solo-Dad — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:44:14 +0000

I used to live in both San Francisco and Marin County and I don’t think San Franciscans or Marinites hop in and out of bed with any greater frequency than they do in Silicon Valley. I know that’s not exactly what you said but I think that line was a bit offensive to SF/Marin veterans like me.

I’ve had a FWB before and we agreed that if the other began another sexual relationship, we’d share that info and then decide how best to proceed. I see your point of view, but it may be a bit unrealistic.

(…and btw, what’s up with the ads for health insurance companies? Eeeoouww. )
Solo-Dad´s last blog ..Solo-Dog

By: BigLittleWolf

BigLittleWolf — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:06:06 +0000

Something you just said, DM, made me remember an event from a year ago. I dated a guy met on the internet, very nice, very attractive. Enjoyed his company, and we were probably headed to Fifth Date Sex (yeah, sometimes I’m slow). We had 3 great dates I think, then I got tied up with a work-or-kid thing and was unavailable for 2 weeks. He has 50% custody of his kids, so that should’ve been comprehensible. Right after that, I got a “Dear John-BLW” email. He’d met someone else. Okay… 5 months later I got an email from him that things hadn’t worked out, but he’d love to start seeing me again.

No thanks. Not exactly your FWB text message, but being on the receiving end of that email made me feel like “a contingency plan.” That sucks.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Better sex life? Cosmetic surgery.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:03:41 +0000

Kmn – having a partner dash off and sleep with other people, then come back to my bed is not safer sex. I’m not jumping into bed with random people. I move slowly to a new partner, then stick with that person for a while.

Sure, there’s probably ego involved. But really, I don’t see how what you’re suggesting is safer sex.

By: kmn

kmn — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:38:33 +0000

I don’t see anything wrong with what she said. She’s not assuming your bed will be available. She’s just saying that for now she is unavailable. She’s pursuing a possible relationship. She might be available at another time. You might be involved at that point. Who knows?

Every woman you have sex with, be it FWB or a dating relationship, has had sex with someone else before you. Moving on doesn’t make it safer. I would think the FWB thing works better with someone you come back to and know when neither are in a relationship. That might be considered safer sex than moving on to the next meaningless relationship that exists only to fulfill physical needs with someone you barely know.

I think there’s an ego thing here. You don’t want to go back to someone who moved on first. Just a thought. I could be wrong.