I agree that divorce shouldn’t be vilified but it also shouldn’t be taken casually and nor should marriage.

That said, I would never equate the need or choice to divorce with crime or drug use. Not for the separating parties, or for the kids.

Even if David Brooks was putting down divorce, rather than divorced people, is his harshly judgmental stance good for society? You know full well there are married people who should not stay together (”idiotic parents” you call them), not even for the kids.

I’m just saying it might be better for someone like Brooks, a thought leader in America, to accept that divorce is sometimes necessary, rather than blasting it in the same light as crime and drug use. If we accept that divorce happens, maybe society as a whole would do a better job of dealing with it, and helping the people affected by it.

I also find it amusing that none of the readers were taken aback by David Brooks’ “horror film” analogy to men communicating emotionally. Even if communicative men are in the minority, they do exist. For Brooks to say that all men fear emotional communication, and for people to nod their head in agreement, makes it taboo in society for the few who are trying to be more evolved. It’s like telling a child “you’re bad,” rather then saying “that thing you just did is bad, and I know you can behave better than that.”

Not unless you are in an abusive relationship or one that is harmful physically or emotionally for the children.

You had a good experience with divorce David. You are not the norm though, you are the exception. For most it is not a positive experience, especially not for the children caught in the middle of two idiotic parents.

As an educator, I hear these words strung together like this routinely, not in a manner that lumps divorce as equal to drug use or crime, but in a manner that conveys the huge societal issues facing our children these days which can (they don’t always but they certainly can) impede a child’s development and ability to learn optimally or certainly at an optimal rate. We know this to be the case intuitively. After all, how many of us do anything really well, when we wonder if we are going to make it through the night alive, let alone wonder when we will eat next. In this context, divorce is lumped with crime not as an equivalent crime but as a reality facing our society. Not as a judgment upon those who’ve divorced.

However, having never heard David Brooks, myself, (yeah, I know bad on me!) if Dadshouse is accurate in his comprehension of the meaning and context of that particular grouping of words, then I just have to snicker. I mean, seriously?

Divorce is not a good thing, I think we all could agree, but there are times when it is a necessary evil and the definitely the lesser of two evils especially if the other evil is staying in the marriage with an abuser. There’s good information out there that says it is not a good idea to stay together “for the kids” in some instances either. If I was more intellectual and academic or driven, I’d prove it with a link, but I just got done with a day of dealing with why it is harder for kids to learn these days due to the evil influencs they face like “crime, drug use, and divorce”. I’m too lazy to go searching for it and I’m guessing none of us here really care?

That was a fun read, Dadshouse. Kinda had me wishin’ I was there making cracks at the women sitting behind you. I so could have gotten their diapers in a knot…or should I say their yarn?
thewildmind´s last blog ..Procrastinatory Paring and Sharing

I answered your burning financial question on my blog.
Senorita´s last blog ..What was I thinking ?????