From Sizzle to Fizzle Before the Second Date
I had a rockin’ date this past summer. I saw a woman in a wine bar, tried to chat her up, failed miserably – but then got her number a week later from a friend of hers who it turns out I knew. Apparently, he did some serious wingman post-op triage and talked me up to her when I wasn’t around. She told him to have me call her, and call her I did.
She and I had a cocktail date at one of my favorite upscale restaurants. The mood there is cozy, the lighting dim, the drinks stiff (the bartenders know me, ahem). We had a lot in common, and the conversation flowed. All in all, a great first date.
Before we could have a second date, though, she left town for a few weeks (it was summer, remember). Once back, we reconnected with a phone call, and I invited her out for dinner.
Now then, she’s a single mom of teens, and I’m a single dad of teens, so our custody schedule shouldn’t be too hard to sync up. After all, our kids are old enough to be left alone for an evening. But this woman was tough to pin down. Seems she’s a bit of a socialite wannabe. (She swore she never went out, but she kept talking about how her girlfriend was married to a Venture Capitalist, i.e. man with a mega personal bank account, and I got the idea this woman wanted the same sort of prize.)
To make a long story short: we picked a night for a second date, and she cancelled on me last minute, saying something else hd come up. She suggested I try her again the following week. Try I did, only to find out her every night was booked.
Can you say, she didn’t want to date me, but didn’t want to tell me that?
I checked with the mutual friend, and he said I should probably just stop pursuing her. Okay, no big deal. I’m not going to hit it off with everyone. I mean, this woman and I had definite chemistry, and we connected on a very grounded level. But I’m not a Venture Capitalist, never pretended to be. My wallet isn’t as big as the Rock of Gibraltar.
Fast forward to this past week. I was in that same wine bar with a buddy, and who’s there but Miss Wants-to-Marry-a-Wallet! We locked eyes, and she abruptly turned away, pretending not to see me. She said something to her lonely houswife friend (the one married to a VC), then threw back her head and laughed – Hahahahahaha. One of those carefree laughs hot women toss out in bars so that men will notice them.
My buddy insisted I go say hi, if for no other reason than to see fireworks. I was totally down for that. This woman’s summer-time reaction to not wanting to date had been so junior high worthy, I hadn’t lost any sleep.
We went over to her and her friend, and I said hello. She looked at my like I had some nerve even pretending I knew her. I introduced my buddy, and introduced ourselves to her friend. But Miss One Date turned away like I wasn’t even there.
Damn, I must have pissed her off plenty over the summer. Maybe I was supposed to have called and pressed for that second date. Some women like playing hard to get.
My buddy and I strolled off, and he muttered something about her being a bee-yatch.
A little later that night, two older men approached this woman and her friend. The men were comfortably dressed, drinking from special glasses reserved for expensive wine, totally oozing money. VC’s, for sure. With her gold digger attitude, I figured they had a chance to score.
Not two minutes into their flirty approach, she pulled the same I’m so bored with your company shit she’d pulled on me.
I’m thinking Miss Money Crazy has a bit of a complex. (If anyone can think of a good urban slang term to describe her, feel free…)
Coming soon: I’ll post about a second date I recently had with a different woman, that led to a totally different reaction on her part… (drunken texts are a very good thing)
- Sweet Pick Up Lines for Any Occasion
- Blind Date – Ugh
- Thursday Night in Palo Alto
- My Drunk Date
- Discreet Affair
- Meet Singles Wine Tasting
- Sex and the Divorced Dad, Part Deux – at Daily Plate of Crazy
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Comment by BigLittleWolf
| November 3rd, 2009
I’ve had great first dates and no call for a second, great first AND second dates and no call for a third, relationships of several months (begun via an internet intro) ended in 24 hours, with no discernible reason, via email.
My take? At least 50% of the time you’ll have no clue what’s up in today’s dating world, particularly as a single parent. I’ve just accepted it, and try not to take it to heart. Meanwhile, I focus on finishing the job of raising my kids, and stay optimistic that the future will hold a good relationship, eventually.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Is college still the brass ring? (Teen stress, college prep, college applications)
Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| November 3rd, 2009
Sounds like a real c*nt waffle.
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..Totally Music Tuesday
Comment by justrun
| November 3rd, 2009
Good riddance to people like that.
Also: “One of those carefree laughs hot women toss out in bars so that men will notice them.” Good to know that works! ha.
justrun´s last blog ..Self preservation is scary
Comment by Vinomom
| November 3rd, 2009
Interesting…I especially like the part where the two older VC’s chatted them up and she blew them off too! At what point does common courtesy just not matter anymore? I can’t imagine living in your area.
Vinomom´s last blog ..What a Difference a Day Makes
Comment by Kelly
| November 3rd, 2009
I want live in a world where a hair tossing laugh is just that…something funny enough to spur a physical movement! :) That said, if it gets the ‘right’ guy’s attention, I won’t complain.
She’s not worth pursuing or flattering with the ~preception~ of being pursued, yet again (in her mind) by some schmuck who seems to have everything except an acceptable w2 – YUCK!
NOTE: Seriously — what the H is a c*nt waffle???
Comment by Just Me...
| November 3rd, 2009
Okay, have you considered this option?
She’s deluded herself into thinking she’s perfect and no man is really worthy of her attentions.. You’re better off without that nutcase in your life.. :)
And whatever it is, Ginger Magnolia’s description is hilarious!!!
Just Me…´s last blog ..Well… It may be here..
Comment by Mindy/Single Mom Says...
| November 3rd, 2009
@ Gingermagnolia – LOL!! That’s hilarious.
David, you and I have been single and dating for almost the same amount of time – you have me beat by two years. Do you ever get discouraged or just take a break from it? I get tired of meeting so many frogs – or finding out a frog was only pretending to be a prince.
Mindy/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Top Ten Reasons Why People Lie
Comment by dadshouse
| November 3rd, 2009
Mindy – I totally get tired of it sometimes! Right now, in fact, I’m mega tired of meeting flakey and indifferent women.
That said, hile I’ve been divorced a long time, I have been in some good long term relationships, two that almost led to marriage. A few years ago I dated a woman for almost a year, and then we were lovers for a year after that. So it’s not like I’m out there on crappy dates every week or even month. I tend to blog about the dates gone wrong because they are funnier and more interesting, and those people tend not to stay in my life, so I don’t feel like I’m violating any privacy.
If anyone wants to read about one of my “normal” dates, have at it! http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/01/22/perfectly-normal-date/
Comment by Jimmy
| November 3rd, 2009
would maple syrup sweeten up a c-waffle?
Comment by T
| November 3rd, 2009
I’m cracking up at the c*nt waffle. Seriously.
*sigh*
Yeah, I feel bad for her because she’s probably that same woman who bitches to her girlfriends that there are no good men out there.
At least you were able to witness that she’s just lost… and know that it wasn’t a personal thing.
T´s last blog ..Divorce, the In-laws and Facebook
Comment by QTMama
| November 3rd, 2009
A c*unt waffle! I LOVE THIS!
David, plain and simple, some women just suck ass. Miss Flip Her Hair is one of them. I am sad you even took the time to say hello to the waffle.
QTMama´s last blog ..Weird Thing of the Week
Comment by Senorita
| November 3rd, 2009
Yeah, she does seem to have a bad attitude.
HOWEVER, I am going to play Devil’s Advocate here and say something unpopular.
She pretty much rejected you from the beginning, and she kept knocking you down after that. And you got that hint, yet you kept trying.
She may be bitchy, but she never really went after you and used you. She tried to cut you loose early so you wouldn’t end up dealing with her drama. She was blowing you off, and you knew that.
Dating sucks. But most men and women aren’t going to walk up and say “There is no chemistry” or “you are not rich enough”. It’s just not going to happen, and we are deluded if we think it will. What happens is people will blow you off instead and quietly hope you get the hint. Or cancel at the last minute without trying to reschedule for a specific time. That was a huge hint.
She’s not really a cunt, she just wasn’t that into you. Or at least that’s how I see it.
And I like to follow my same advice. I sometimes get rejected by men I want to date, and though my feelings get hurt and it sucks, I don’t call them douchebags or say that “he couldn’t handle all this”.
You have a lot going on for you, and I think you are a good man. I know that there are good women left, because I am friends with them.
Maybe you should go to a yoga class………….
Senorita´s last blog ..A Random List of Randomness
Comment by Kelly
| November 3rd, 2009
Whoopsie…there’s my answer! Thought so. I’m trying out “C-Dub” as a live coversation way of using the now beloved term. :)
I don’t think its ever appropriate to act like a bee-yatch. Even if I’m not into someone,for whatever reason, common courtesy is always in season.
Comment by Heather
| November 3rd, 2009
damn..sounds like miss my sh*t don’t stink has a real attitude problem!! She’s not going to get her VC that way! LOL or maybe she will!
Heather´s last blog ..Congratulations!
Comment by Jimmy
| November 3rd, 2009
Dave-(If anyone can think of a good urban slang term to describe her, feel free…)
Ginger-C*nt waffle
ask and you shall receive
Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| November 3rd, 2009
Hahaha, glad I could entertain everyone. :)
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..Totally Music Tuesday
Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| November 3rd, 2009
And I didn’t mean she was really a c*nt. I just thought that was a good urban slang term to use instead of beyotch.
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..Totally Music Tuesday
Comment by Edgar
| November 3rd, 2009
I have to disagree with Senorita. There is no excuse for treating someone with disdain, as Ms. Flips Her Head apparently feels it is appropriate to do. It’s not a reflection on David, because I am sure that he is always a gentleman and a sensitive soul – I can’t imagine him saying hello would be obnoxious at all. So, if she did not have an interest in talking to him, she could have briefly said hello and that it was good to see him again. But to be a c*nt waffle is so unnecessary. Then again, maybe she was raised by a drama queen and a brownnoser, and knows no better. At some point, though, she has to take responsibility for her own actions.
Comment by Sandra
| November 3rd, 2009
I hope my comment didn’t imply that this is a reflection on David. Having actually met him, I only have good things to say.
She didn’t have to act like that, but it was clear that she was not interested and he still pursued her. From reading his post, the signs were there early on.
My point is, she was just not interested and never initiated anything. Personally, I think she did him a favor by acting like that upfront so she didn’t end up dragging him into her drama. And now he is free to pursue others more worthy of his time.
Sandra´s last blog ..More Randomness
Comment by dadshouse
| November 3rd, 2009
Edgar – I agree!
Sandra – my goal in the wine bar wasn’t to pursue her again. It was merely a friendly hello, to see how she’s doing. I refuse to stand there and act like we had never met. Her response in the wine bar was rude and immature. Hardly befitting a 40-something mom. She could have said “oh, hello. How are you. Nice seeing you. Have fun tonight.” And be done.
Ginger – I love your term! Totally appropriate here.
Comment by notasoccermom
| November 3rd, 2009
Yeah she does sound like a real biotch let her go.
I do have a question though… my friend and I seem to come off as biotches on many a night out and honestly, we are either repulsed by the overly drunk, overly immature or overly touchy feely types we seem to run into and honestly, on my part at least, shy a bit…
how – from a mans point of view would we not come across as bitchy but rather the confident, and secure women we are.?
notasoccermom´s last blog ..Whistle While you Work
Comment by Leigh-Ann
| November 4th, 2009
Good riddance,you are far better off without her. I think it takes a shoot load of courage to ask a woman out on a date, most men fear rejection, good on you for trying. Why on earth some woman think they are superior and deserve much better is beyond me.
Leigh-Ann´s last blog ..I count my blessings
Comment by Sandy
| November 4th, 2009
Doncha just hate people like that?! It’s not difficult to just be nice. Well, maybe for some people it is.
I’ll say it again, I’m so glad I’m not single.
Sandy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Nancy
| November 5th, 2009
…maybe you read a lot into something that just wasn’t ‘there’ to being with (ahem). and maybe she’s not a ‘bee-yatch’ and maybe she just didn’t dig you (or maybe you were just embellishing with a lot of personalized drama for the purposes of a blog post…:)