Drunk Texting Marriage Proposal
I go on a lot of bad dates. At least those are the ones I tend to blog about. Sill, proof does exist that not all of my first dates suck. A woman I recently went on two dates with texted me at 2am.
She texted: Sleelunb???
I texted: Huh? What’s up?
She texted: I’m drunk!!!
Gotta love a drunk text at two in the morning.
I texted: Do you need a ride someplace?
She texted: No. I’m home. And sad!!!!
I texted: Why sad?
She texted: Will u marry me?
I texted: Ha. U r drunk
She texted: I need u to marry me or I have to go back to Peru!
Nothing like a foreign national looking for a green card after just two dates to suck the romance right out of a relationship. Not to mention doing so drunk at 2am. I’ve heard some crazy requests in my days (remember the woman who wanted to be nude in chains, in a cage?), but this took the cake. I ignored the drunken texting.
She sent another text message.
Her text: Marry me???
She must have passed out asleep, because she didn’t text again until morning.
Her text: So u gonna marry me??
My text: Not today.
Her text: When? I miss my parents! I need u to marry me so I can visit them and come back and stay here.
My text: I barely know u
Her text: U will know me good when we marry. I will stay with you 3 years!!!
Oh, she hadn’t mentioned we’d stay married three whole years. That changed everything. Of course, after three years, we’d… get divorced? Sigh.
Two days later, she sent another text mesage:
When u gonna call? We need to go on a date so u can know me.
Warning to Dad’s House female readers. Dating David can result in you wanting to get married right away. Anyone with marital desire lasting more than 48 hours needs medical assistance immediately, or risk a permanent loss of wedding bell potency.
- Sexy Text Messages That Can’t Be Ignored
- Dirty Text Message Jokes
- My Drunk Date
- Naked Spooning – Do You Do It?
- Older Man Dating a Younger Woman
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Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| November 5th, 2009
You know what your problem is? You’re just too irresistible!
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..This is a Crock
Comment by Jim H.
| November 5th, 2009
Get every little bit of all the kinky sex you’ve ever wanted from her, then kick her to the curb. It’s just what she deserves for trying to involve you in her scheme.
Comment by Just Me...
| November 5th, 2009
That wasn’t drunk texting.. The follow up to that is an apology, not a quest for a third date!!!
I’m thinking this one might just be a nut… :):)
Just Me…´s last blog ..Still here…
Comment by Nicki
| November 5th, 2009
Okay, now just because you commented on my blog and I came to comment on yours…don’t think I want to marry you. I mean, what’s the point? I’m already a citizen. Of the US.
At the same time…love your style. I want more already! No wonder you get drunk marriage proposals at 2am. Thank goodness you’re on the opposite coast. I’m not known for my self-control. ;)
Nicki´s last blog ..It’s a sign!
Comment by Laura
| November 5th, 2009
Oh man this is CLASSSIC! I havent been proposed to – am feeling like I missed out on a dating stage :-p Or maybe no one wants to be a South African citizen bad enough!
Laura´s last blog ..Quote for the day
Comment by Mindy/Single Mom Says...
| November 5th, 2009
You sure can pick ‘em, David! ;)
Mindy/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Red Flags & How to Spot Them
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| November 5th, 2009
And to think, the only proposal of marriage I’ve had in the past few years was from a French lethario, stringing along 2 other women. Hmmm. He did have a green card, but I think he wore man heels. I should’ve known something was up.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Real men don’t wear pumps
Comment by Mark
| November 5th, 2009
Always an adventure, ha!
Mark´s last blog ..Rule # 6
Comment by Andrea
| November 5th, 2009
Text message marriage proposal after two dates? You have a scary/weird track record of dates!
Funny story though. (Note: I am NOT proposing to you. Just so we are clear on that.) ;)
Andrea´s last blog ..The Naked Truth : In case of emergency break glass
Comment by ShrimpieDad
| November 5th, 2009
Sounds scarily familiar to a buddy of mine. Meet this beautiful Peruvian women who was here illegally. Sexy, fun, personable, dying to be a wife and mommy…just what HE was looking for. Whirlwind romance they were married 8 months later. Had a daughter not too long after and now…going through a divorce after a marriage of constant fighting coupled with HER physical abuse toward him!!! Crazy, right? Luckily he was smart enough to call the police each time and not hit back. All she wants now is to take their daughter back to Peru. TOTAL mess. BEWARE!!!!
Comment by QTMama
| November 5th, 2009
HAHAHA David!
This is like your own Weird Thing of the Week!
QTMama´s last blog ..Things I Love About This Blog
Comment by Heather
| November 5th, 2009
LMAO!!! Dang!! No words no words!
Heather´s last blog ..Congratulations!
Comment by Melinda
| November 5th, 2009
Run and don’t look back!
Melinda´s last blog ..Our night at Disney On Ice Celebrations
Comment by Twenty Four At Heart
| November 5th, 2009
Ha! I’ve been meaning to propose to you. I can’t believe she beat me to it! : )
Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..The Red Cup
Comment by Senorita
| November 5th, 2009
ROTFLMAO !
That is funny………
When I was living in Barcelona, this pretty little Peruvian woman was with some fat, ugly bastard (when I say it like that, you know he was nasty). She needed Spanish papers. In fact, I saw a lot of beautiful women with men like that.
I’m not calling you fat or ugly btw……..
Senorita´s last blog ..Hump Day Hotness
Comment by loriann
| November 5th, 2009
For some reason, as I’m reading this post, the Kaci Battaglia tune “Crazy Possessive” has become an earworm !
Comment by Danielle
| November 5th, 2009
I agree with Jim H. From now on, your first question should be. Do you have a social security card?
Danielle´s last blog ..Why can’t I grieve?
Comment by T
| November 5th, 2009
WOW. That is the best.post.ever! I am still laughing out loud.
Dude! You’re dating stories rock!
T´s last blog ..Embrace your feminine side
Comment by T
| November 5th, 2009
Seriously. Did I just say “you’re” dating stories?
Grrr.. I ticked myself off with my own pet peeve.
Your dating stories DO rock though.
:P
T´s last blog ..Embrace your feminine side
Comment by Vinomom
| November 5th, 2009
Where do you find these chicks? Oh yeah. Silicon Valley.
Pretty pathetic of her. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Vinomom´s last blog ..All Over the Place
Comment by Kelloggsville
| November 5th, 2009
step away from the mad woman. My husband trapped me in exactly the same way – been married 5 years now – I’m sure he promised only 3!!!!
Wish I’d seen your post before saying “hell why not”, I might have seen through the green card ruse – I gave him a green wedding card ;0)
Kelloggsville´s last blog ..This time I’ll get it right
Comment by meg
| November 5th, 2009
Well, that sure is a crazy nutjob. Stay far away from her.
&maybe you should date people who are citizens.
meg´s last blog ..101 Goals Update
Comment by ilinap
| November 5th, 2009
Man, she sounds pretty pathetic to me. Can you block her like you can block people on Twitter? Stay away from the nuts jobs, will ya?
ilinap´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Shaded
Comment by Daddy Geek Boy
| November 5th, 2009
If you do get married, is she going to ask for a divorce on Twitter?
Comment by rob
| November 5th, 2009
why don’t you go with her to Peru?
rob´s last blog ..Leng Yein, Beyonce and dumb Malaysia
Comment by Amber
| November 5th, 2009
Well you have to give her credit for being *honest*!
Guess you werent moving fast enough for her…
Comment by Sandy
| November 6th, 2009
So r u gonna marry her?
Sandy´s last blog ..Please Pass The Peas
Comment by Honey
| November 6th, 2009
You should text her back and say, “Sorry, I just proposed to someone from Russia. Maybe next time!”
Seriously, that’s just weird.
Oh, and I second the scary stories of those who married for green cards – a friend of a friend (who IS a real person, she’s coming with me to Vegas for New Year’s) married someone from South Africa so he could stay in the U.S….he bought a $30K pickup truck for his “business” which he ran into the ground…and maxed out all her credit cards. Now she’s trying to hide money from him so she can save up for the divorce she currently can’t afford.
Honey´s last blog ..Keeping it Real vs. Playing the Game
Comment by Single Mom in New England
| November 9th, 2009
This blows away your Third Date Sex theory to be quickly replaced by Third Date Matrimony. lol