My Sexy Daughter
My teen daughter is a good girl. She gets good grades, participates in sports, helps around the house when I ask her (er… make that, she helps around the house when I give her gas money for her truck!)
So when one of the Hot Moms asked at the Hot Dads blog why it’s okay for men to check out sexy women, yet not let their daughters wear what they want, because isn’t that a double standard? – I reacted!
My daughter is a girl, not a woman. When girls like Miley Cyrus pose nude in bed, with messed up hair that makes her look like she just had sex, I’m disappointed. Fifteen is too young for displays like that. I don’t want my daughter being sexy just yet.
But as a single dad on the dating scene, I have to admit, I do like me a sexy woman. Someone smart, caring, kind, attractive, and compassionate, too. There’s more to a person than their looks and sex appeal. But sexy is definitely an element that turns my head.
I don’t see a double standard in that. Girls are not women. And while my daughter is beautiful, she’s not sexy.
Yet.
As a dad, I hope my daughter meets a great guy some day. I hope she settles down, gets married, has kids, etc. And I assume for her to attract a great guy, she will at some point have to be sexy. Just as he’ll have to be a stud. (And he’ll be smart, caring, kind, etc. – whatever she’s looking for in a man.)
How will I feel when my daughter turns on the sexiness? I certainly won’t start calling her hot. No creepy dad thoughts or remarks from me.
But I do hope she embraces every aspect of being a woman. And part of that femininity is being sexy.
Now then, where’s the Hot Daughters blog… just kidding!!
- My Teen Daughter is Dating
- Loose Girl
- Hot, Sexy, Confident
- Beach Date Pickup
- Micro Bikinis and Body Paint Pics in Sports Illustrated
| 
Subscribe | © 2008-2010 David Mott, DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.
Comment by momma sunshine
| November 18th, 2009
I totally agree – girls are not women…and when I see young girls trying to look sexy, I find it disappointing. There’s plenty of time in life for that, without rushing into it.
momma sunshine´s last blog ..Friendship and Laughter
Comment by Paula
| November 18th, 2009
Trust me, your daughter is already sexy. She’s no “girl” -she’s going off to college right, around 18. Her “womanhood” has been budding for years. Glad she’s a good girl, but not a 7 year old. Just make sure she knows where to get birth control and you talk about all the sex stuff (drinking and sex, one night stands, loser men, STDs). Sorry Dad, but I’ve been there and done that (as an 18 year old and a mom).
They’re young, sexy, of age and they “do it.”
Comment by Nicki
| November 18th, 2009
Glad to meet a dad who has his head on straight. (I have to keep reeling in the ex with the clothing purchases. ANOTHER LONG STORY. Or maybe it’s just me making them long…)
I firmly believe that as long as we keep the lines of communication open with our kids and try to model responsible behavior (which is sometimes even harder…) that our girls will be just fine, smarter and stronger than we ever were. Fingers crossed.
Nicki´s last blog ..Well…she asked…a tale in three parts…
Comment by Barry
| November 18th, 2009
Having raised 2 daughters 17 & 22, and one son 20, guys are easy compared to girls. So much drama and the sex thing David is talking about is daunting.
I think he is right on with his comments. I also think that he gets that his daughter is not 7. The main problem is media stars grow up so fast. Makes it much tougher on parents with teenage daughters.
No kid will be perfect.They will screw up just like we did. But, better to set some guidelines. They do hear you even if it doesn’t seem like they are listening. Also don’t forget that they are watching as well. Talk is cheap if you act differently.
Finally, I just told my girls they can’t date until they re 30!! Lost on that one :)
Barry´s last blog ..Is Someday Going To Be Your Best Day
Comment by Andrea
| November 18th, 2009
I think the key part of this post is girls versus women. A girl is not a woman and should not be wearing sexy clothing or trying to be sexy. The best thing I ever heard was someone telling their daughter (In regards to sex) if you don’t want to have his baby then you shouldn’t be having sex.
That seemed like pretty good advice to me!
Andrea´s last blog ..Is it just me?
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| November 18th, 2009
Um… I don’t know what to say here. <<< this is me, not saying anything :)
But I will say this (again) ~ she definitely needs to learn to respond quickly to her father's texts! ;)
Cathouse Teri´s last blog ..From Andy Rooney?
Comment by Just Me...
| November 18th, 2009
It hurts me to have to say this.. I know you don’t want to hear it.. No father ever does.. But, she’s not the 6 year old with pigtails and pinafores anymore.. She’s almost 18 (or maybe is) and that puts her on the threshold of being officially classified as a woman. I know you think of her as still a girl.. But, legally the minute she turns 18, she’s grown and becomes fair game for any man who can woo her..
Gird yourself, daddy.. The next few years could be interesting..
However, she seems level-headed so you may have it easy.. Let’s hope!! :)
Just Me…´s last blog ..Long Road Home..
Comment by Big City Dad
| November 18th, 2009
Right on Dave. It’s about age appropriatness for sure. An important aspect of this as well is to teach our daughter that they don’t need to dress scantily to be attractive or sexy. For women I’m dating, I’m all for “fun” clothing and spicing things up and by no means am conservative. There’s a difference in dressing “cheap” versus “attractive.” Teaching our daughters that they can have self esteem and will be attractive to men while dressing in a “classic sense” is important. It will help them understand that they need self respect first in order to be respected by men.
Comment by T
| November 18th, 2009
I think I just sprouted more grey hairs on my head.
I have TWO daughters and they are MY children. That in itself is frightening! I was VERY aware of my sexuality at a young age. It seemed like a big weapon that I was unsure how to use.
It sounds like you and your daughter have a good enough relationship that she can come to you about dating and such. And perhaps your ex is a good role model as a woman.
Knowledge is power, I always say. And knowledge of how to handle/control/use your sexuality is the even more powerful!!
T´s last blog ..Rebelling
Comment by Mindy/Single Mom Says...
| November 18th, 2009
My oldest daughter of four is 18 and away at college now and I’ve been pretty comfortable with how she represents herself. We talk and share and I think thats part of it but it’s also my acceptance of who she is – as she is.
I see her father still trying to control her and it backfires. Letting go is a big part of parenting but if you can do it the reward is great.
Sounds like you are there. Good for you – and your daughter.
Mindy/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Sleepless Nights
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| November 18th, 2009
It is a mixed blessing when you see your teens changing before your eyes. And sexuality (yes, being sexy to their peers) is part of that. Attractive to their peers is a very different thing from being attractive to those who are much older – even though I’m for older women, younger men. Within reason – and still adult men.
I think it must be harder when it’s daughters. I have sons. I have watched the girls swarm around for years for my elder; the past year or so with my “baby” has been eye-opening. And more power to him. (And thus, the available condoms.)
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses
Comment by Sandra
| November 18th, 2009
OMG, when I first saw the title, I got thrown off a little bit. Haha, glad to know you won’t be telling her how hot she is, lol.
I think daughters will always be little girls in their fathers’ minds. And I think that’s how it should be.
I know it seems like it’s a double standard when men look at hot women yet be overprotective of their daughters. I just think it’s natural, and I think it’s nature in action.
Sandra´s last blog ..Hump Day Hotness Treat
Comment by dadshouse
| November 18th, 2009
Paula – you’re right! And I’ve talked about sex with my daughter, starting when she was 11. http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/07/02/how-to-talk-to-daughter-about-sex/
Andrea – great advice! Same holds true for men. If you don’t want to father and raise a child with a woman, don’t have sex with her. Condoms can break. Birth control pills are sometimes forgotten.
Just Me – I never said I think of her as 6. Or 7. Not sure how that number crept into the comments here. My daughter is 17 and has been dating for two years. I know full well she’s almost 18. She will be a woman then, heading to college. And she can be as sexy as she wants.
In fact, what I hoped to convey in this post is that I want her to be sexy! I want her to attract men. Just as I enjoy being attracted to women.
Big City Dad – I agree!!! Sexy is an attitude. A woman can be sexy as hell in jeans or a business suit, it’s all about how she carries herself.
T – why is sexuality a weapon? Isn’t it a gift?
BigLittleWolf – I admit, I’ve caught my daughter walking around the house with her sweats halfway down her butt. Shorts underneath, but still, it’s the style. I told her to pull them up. She just looked at me like I didn’t get kids her age. I let it go. That’s their thing, and it’s not a big deal.
Comment by Dual Mom
| November 18th, 2009
There’s a world of difference between classy sexy and slutty sexy. You’re right, there’s alot more to sexyness than just the clothes a woman wears.
Dual Mom´s last blog ..It Could Work
Comment by QTMama
| November 18th, 2009
You know, I’m 37. And when I’m wearing something my dad considers to be too sexy, even at this age, he makes me go change.
I love it.
QTMama´s last blog ..Dating In Your *Cough* Late(r) Thirties
Comment by dadshouse
| November 18th, 2009
QTMama – as long as your dad doesn’t make you change in front of him, I guess it’s okay. He’s just set in his ways.
(hahahahaha – I love sexy ribbing)
Comment by A Single Dad's Life
| November 18th, 2009
I think we will always see our daughter’s as our little girls so I think some of the “she’s already a woman comments are a bit misplaced. I don’t care if it’s pigtails at 6 or walking her down the aisle, she will always be my little girl. Glad to see you are no Joe Simpson Dave.
A Single Dad’s Life´s last blog ..IN THE FACE!!!
Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| November 18th, 2009
So glad I don’t have daughters!
Also glad that it seems like your daughter, though she is becoming a woman, doesn’t feel the need to try to be sexy. If you ask me, the sexiest men/women are those who don’t have to try, they just are. As you said, it’s more than the clothes worn (or not worn, as it were). She sounds like a wonderful young lady.
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..Totally Music Tuesday
Comment by SDMktg
| November 18th, 2009
I know exactly what you mean David. I’m in marketing and “sex sells” so I’ve heard it all…unrealistic body images, double standards, you name it. I totally agree with you that girls are girls and women can dress however they choose. The difficult part is that no one bothers to tell the clothes designers or retailers this. I hate trying to buy clothes for my 8 year old daughter. When a skirt is shorter than the built in shorts/underwear underneath that is just wrong. I’ve seen my friend go through it all with his 17 year old daughter, who’s in college now. At least for now my daughter is still my little girl.
And with the right photographer, makeup, lighting, camera angles and photoshop anyone can look like a magazine cover but that’s not the point.
Comment by dadshouse
| November 18th, 2009
SDMktg – I agree, unless you’re trying to look like Demi Moore on W magazine. Her entire hip got photoshopped out of the picture!
Comment by Kat Wilder
| November 18th, 2009
Whether you think she’s sexy or not isn’t the issue. It’s whether she thinks she’s sexy, and the guys, of course. And, it’s about you accepting that.
Weird as it is to admit it, I feel differently because I have a boy, and boys — despite the latest SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! headlines — aren’t as sexualized as girls are (except at a gals’ night or a cougars gathering etc.)
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Touched for the first time, regretted ever since?
Comment by Rob in Victoria
| November 19th, 2009
Is it wrong that I mainly just want to know who the sexy redhead in the picture is?
Rob in Victoria´s last blog ..The pre-game ritual…
Comment by trinity67
| November 19th, 2009
Perhaps if young girls didn’t dress like hookers then men wouldn’t ogle them.
I’m all for wearing clothes to show off your figure but I frown MIGHTILY upon 11 – 16 year-old CHILDREN wearing halter tops, mid-baring tops and jeans so low that you can see their g-strings. That’s inappropriate and occurs when the parents do not teach their daughters, self-respect.
trinity67´s last blog ..THE ECONOMY EFFING SUCKS.
Comment by Unknown Mami
| November 20th, 2009
Very well put. Unfortunately, when you are a girl and are not even dressed sexy there is still plenty of inappropriate attention thrown your way.
Too bad things are as they are and not as they should be.
Unknown Mami´s last blog ..The Gaze
Comment by Honey
| November 20th, 2009
Jake lost his virginity when he was 15, and that seems like a pretty common number (I was 18, but it was less than 3 months after I started college!).
I disagree about the “only have sex with someone if you want to have a child with them.” Sex fulfills us as human beings in hundreds of ways that have nothing to do with having children unless you want it to.
Honey´s last blog ..A Hot Guy Sent Me Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Comment by Cat
| November 20th, 2009
This is what terrifies me about potentially having a daughter. By the time she’d be a teen, they’ll be turning on the sexy at 12, and I’ll be forced into an Amish farming society to protect her virtue.
Cat´s last blog ..Friday Fragments
Comment by Laura
| November 21st, 2009
I agree with this post 100% and I think it is the mistake people so often make.
My 6 year old GIRL CHILD does not need to wear a halter neck top exposing half her body or a push up bra – she is a CHILD now and will be until she is 90 (ok kidding – at least maybe 18 :-p)
Laura´s last blog ..Its time to P-A-R-T-Y
Comment by dadshouse
| November 22nd, 2009
Honey – I didn’t say sex should be reserved for procreation. I totally agree with you that sex is vital and fulfilling physically, emotionally, psychologicaly and spiritually whether or not you’re making babies. But should we all be having random sex with random people? I don’t think so. Hook up all you want, but be prepared to own up to any consequences.
btw, I wrote a safe-sex post last year in response to a single mom who hooked up with a guy she’d just met, and didn’t use any protection. Yeah, she got pregnant. http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/06/04/who-needs-protection-its-only-a-one-night-stand/
Comment by Tina
| November 22nd, 2009
And again I am floored by the comments here. My Sociology class just watched a video on the music videos now being made. Women are shown as being objects for mens pleasure instead of respected and loved for the human beings we are. Sex does sell, but we are the ones that buy it! I don’t think a woman needs to be sexy for anyone but herself if she chooses to and our daughters should be taught to be proud of more than their bodies! We were born naked and the human body is a beautiful thing, it’s society that has made sexuality such an issue. Our daughters wouldn’t be so prone to want to dress “sexy” if they didn’t see it as the only way to get a mans attention.
Advice to women: Love what YOU see when YOU look in the mirror and forget about the rest.