Comments on: Breaking Up Just Before Things are Perfect

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:40:05 +0000

Soulmates — yes — I have to vote YES! However, I think there is more that one for each of us, more a random lot sprinkled all over the universe allowing us ample opportunity to find one of the them!

I have endured the pain of more than one break-up, the clear winner with most intense and indescribable pain was that of my marriage — leaving my jaw on the floor with genuine, punched in the gut, surprise and “..but wait, we have two amazing children and we have a life here…” all over my face!

It has been two years. The single mantra that stood true throughout is the FACT that I really don’t want to be with someone who does not want to be with me – whatever the reason. Yes, I believed that what we had was real…I knew that I was good to him, I am a life participant,a great mom, not bad looking,blah blah blah…fact is, it doesnt matter.

My girlfriend recently made a statement that I think really resonates. (BTW – she is very happily married) She said, “I think that there is no perfect relationship. Everyone has ups and downs and everyone looks at their partner at one point or another and just plain does not really like them, for the moment. You have to be able to remember why you fell for him or her to begin with, you have to remain faithful…and you have to hope that you are never both at that place at that same time. Life is choices, and relationships are not easy, but they are worthwhile.” — and I tend to agree! :)

By: andygoose

andygoose — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:32:29 +0000

Like Mindy said in the comments, timing is everything.

My soul mate was 10 years younger and wanted her own children. I was done with having more. Had to let her go so we both could be happy. But what I got out of it was knowing exactly what I want and don’t want in the future, so it was worth the effort.

(Just found your blog and subscribed after reading the first post!)
andygoose´s last blog ..My 40 Obscure Life Lessons

By: Travis

Travis — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 07:02:47 +0000

@katherine – I believe the idea of the soulmate waiting for you, is flawed. It’s a myth, that has noble attributes, but is inherently wrong. We can love anybody, if our heart desires it, and we continually work for it.

My variant on this is that we create our soulmate. By the efforts of love, compassion and the willingness to change as we get older to stay in step with each other.

This is the noble goal and should be our effort. To work together to become soulmates.
Travis´s last blog ..It’s a Bright Day… Even When You Stand In The Dark

By: katherine.

katherine. — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:05:33 +0000

the type of man who appealed to my soul twentysome years ago was far different than the type of man who appeals to my soul today.

It is not possible for there to be one soulmate for each person. Just one human error would have thrown off the pairings centuries ago…
katherine.´s last blog ..Cy Timmy….Cy

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:24:59 +0000

I am smack dab in the middle of this right now. Although to be fair, he has done this more than once with me. Anyway I just bought a house, his youngest and mine are both HS seniors and about to leave us with staggering amounts of free time next year, and I think he looked at the house, and the timeline and saw his future, and ran for the hills. Except he can’t run too far, he always comes back, but still, if he would have waited until next year when our collective 5 kids were all out of our respective nests, things would have been perfect…

By: Desiree

Desiree — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:55:27 +0000

Similar to what Dee said above… I’m still trying to figure what the hell happened, although it is getting easier not to think about it so much as the days go on. To be completely frank, I know I wouldn’t have gotten this far in my thinking had I not moved across the country.

I guess the thing that I will never understand is WHY he dated me (let alone had me move in this summer) when he had no interest in marrying me at some point – is that wrong to think of it that way? I mean, the point is moot now, but… I’m just sayin’…
Desiree´s last blog ..Sick of Christmas? Move it to June!

By: Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:02:40 +0000

This happened to a good friend of mine. He bought the ring and was about to propose when she broke up with him. She didn’t even know he bought a ring, but found out about it later and ate her words.

It’s so cliche but things do happen for a reason. And I believe it in your case, since you are at peace with yourself.
Sandra´s last blog ..29